NOVEL WEB Chapter 30
Page Twenty-Nine God Scam Operation
“Little girl, men have gold under their knees. This young man has knelt down, can’t you forgive him just this once?”
Xiǎo Lěi let out three loud scolding words, and with my humble posture, we attracted quite a few onlookers.
A straightforward aunt who didn’t know the truth stepped forward to plead on my behalf. Wait, when did I kowtow?
“Auntie, you’re mistaken. We’re not arguing like a couple…” she said, trying to pull me away. “Don’t kneel there, it’s embarrassing. Let’s go!” Xiǎo Lěi couldn’t bear the stares of the crowd and dragged me away, fleeing from the Wàn O Plaza.
I felt like a traveler leaving an oasis in the desert, the harsh temperature difference between the air-conditioned interior and the stifling heat outside making everything even more unbearable.
On the way, I couldn’t help but speak up again, “Master, about the comic cafe, can’t you help me at all?”
“Can’t we talk about this after I change back? Talking about these kinds of things with girls all day will make them dislike you.”
Xiǎo Lěi seemed somewhat averse to discussing the comic cafe.
If it were any other girl, it might be fine, but Xiǎo Lěi is clearly an otaku master, her daily behavior is quite lewd, and she even says dirty jokes. Last night, she took photos of her underwear while I was asleep…
Women’s hearts are hard to understand, I pouted.
The conversation was blocked by her, and I didn’t know what to say, so I followed her silently, carrying the bag.
She probably also felt the awkwardness, so she stopped for two steps and then hooked her arm around mine. I was startled by her bold move, but saw her mischievous smile, feeling mixed emotions and not knowing how to react.
“What’s this reaction for? It’s normal for brothers to hang their arms over each other’s shoulders, right?”
But she definitely wasn’t thinking that way.
“But you just called yourself a girl?”
“I am a girl, but what does that have to do with us being good brothers?”
Her reasoning made sense, and I had no words to counter her.
Xiǎo Lěi’s cool arm brushed against my sweaty neck, giving a moment of comfort, but the warmth emanating from her body and my accelerated heartbeat quickly made me feel even hotter.
“It’s too hot, let go.”
“I’m just trying to lighten the mood.” He released his arm, fiddling with the red hair at the end of his sideburns. His casual tone carried a hint of helplessness, “Chairman, you really don’t know how to read the atmosphere. Didn’t I tell you before? As Zhao Lěi, I don’t like those perverted things, and I have no interest in other girls either. Even if you asked me about that place, I wouldn’t want to talk about it anyway. I have some self-respect!”
“You were only wearing your underwear last night…”
When it came to those ‘pornographic’ photos, Xiǎo Lěi’s face turned red again, “Those were for Zhao Zhào… After all, I wouldn’t get any opportunities otherwise, right?”
Using her own photos to bribe herself, what kind of operation is this!
“And those pictures with me… Pfft!”
The steam girl gave me a powerful hit to the abdomen, nearly causing me to vomit the burger I ate at noon. Placing the bag on the ground, I leaned against a tree and slowly knelt down. Could you be gentler when you’re being cute?
“Of course because I like you! Don’t you have any answer to such questions? Do you want girls to say it themselves? Are you a devil?”
With a flick of her head, she walked off angrily.
At this moment, I always think, if only Zhao Zhào and Xiǎo Lěi were separate entities.
…
It was impossible to fool Old Fēng with our bags, so we returned home to tidy up and set out again, just past four o’clock. I estimated that Old Fēng would already be selling.
The air was still stifling, but compared to the murderous heat of the afternoon, it was bearable.
“If it gets any hotter, Old Fēng’s business will be difficult.”
“In the hottest part of summer, temperatures can reach above thirty-four degrees at midnight. It’s normal for Old Fēng’s roadside stall to struggle with sales.”
It was not yet dinnertime at half past four, and Old Fēng was already setting up his stall, smoking a cigarette and looking fierce as he prepared ingredients. An unknowing passerby might mistake it for a human meat bun shop.
Old Fēng looked fierce, but he was just expressionless. The scars on his face made him appear particularly menacing.
I entered first and sat at the plastic table closest to the food cart.
Today, I played the role of a customer, listening to Xiǎo Lěi’s attempt to persuade Old Fēng while ensuring her safety.
Without needing to fill out a menu, I greeted Old Fēng, “Potato beef with rice, no ginger.”
Old Fēng looked up at me, silently lit a fire and started cooking. The fragrant stir-fried potato beef teased my taste buds, but since I had eaten burgers late and they were filling, I didn’t have much appetite.
Old Fēng placed the potato beef and rice bowl on my table, signaling that it was time for the main character of this operation, “God envoy Xiǎo Lěi,” to enter the scene.
Xiǎo Lěi’s walking posture was a bit off.
She walked in a strange catwalk, hands elegantly crossed at her waist, and strutted to the food cart in this ridiculous pose… Was she imitating some TV drama fairy? Would people beat her up if she walked like this on the street?
Old Fēng looked up expressionlessly and pointed to a nearby table, indicating she should order there.
Ignoring Old Fēng’s intention, Xiǎo Lěi spoke calmly, her voice clear and resonant, “Sir, are you satisfied with your current life?”
“…”, Old Fēng frowned without speaking, seemingly unsure what Xiǎo Lěi was up to.
“Do you want a chance to start over?”
Old Fēng raised his head, his remaining eye slightly squinted, disdainfully saying, “Multilevel marketing?”
Xiǎo Lěi seemed to be mistaken for a multilevel marketing person, although religion and multilevel marketing do share some similarities.
“You misunderstand. I am the envoy of the Goddess of Beautiful Girls, the representative of the goddess on earth. I come here on behalf of the deity I believe in to save those suffering in the mire of misfortune.”
Despite maintaining her scammer persona, Xiǎo Lěi’s face turned red… Such exaggerated lines from a middle school delinquent, combined with the strange name of the Beautiful Girls’ Religion, required immense courage to say. Not to mention, the nonsense about the Goddess of Beautiful Girls was comparable to spaghetti monsters.
“Heresy?”
“The Goddess of Beautiful Girls doesn’t need your faith or any fees. My master’s wish is to save people like you from their current state and grant happiness.”
Then she pulled out a pre-prepared prop from her pocket, a blue-white tranquil gem, transparent stone emitting a hazy light, like pure moonlight.
This thumb-sized moon quartz was bought for forty yuan at Wàn O Plaza in the afternoon… Whether it’s genuine is unknown, but it was indeed beautiful.
Placing the moon quartz in her palm, Xiǎo Lěi held it reverently, as if holding a priceless treasure, “This ‘divine stone’ has been blessed by the Goddess of Beautiful Girls, it can bring happiness. Please accept it.”
“I won’t buy it,” Old Fēng said impatiently, waving his hand dismissively.
I saw the veins forming a cross on Xiǎo Lěi’s temple. She grabbed Old Fēng’s hand and forcefully put the moon quartz in his palm, “It’s free! Really, it can change your life! Just take it as a joke, you won’t lose anything. Besides, isn’t this stone really beautiful?”
Hey! Did she mention the invoice?
In any case, Xiǎo Lěi seemed impatient, even neglecting politeness. I could feel her frustration from where I stood.
“Although I don’t know what you’re up to… Since you’ve gone this far, I’ll accept it.”
“That’s the spirit! Uncle, if you want to make changes, your determination is more important than divine blessings!”
“…”, Old Fēng went back to his expressionless face, lowering his head to continue his work, unresponsive to Zhao Lěi’s motivational speech.
“Fine, at least I can spend money, right? Stir-fried pig liver with rice, ah, no ginger.”
Old Fēng looked up at Xiǎo Lěi and started lighting the fire, flipping the wok.