Spliced

Katrina took a moment to work up some tears. She thought about the pretty speckled rabbit that Jade had brought her the other day for her spellcraft. She knew there were lots of them out there in the forest, that they were bad for the horses, they dug up the paddocks and ate the veges in the garden. She knew the blood was essential for the spellwork and of all the things to use, rabbits weren’t such a bad option, but still... the way its little chest had risen and fallen so rapid, as if it knew what had been coming... the way its eyes had rolled in its head... the crack of its neck when Jade had twisted its head with his strong hands, making the act somehow sexy and horrific all at once. That poor rabbit, its life cut so short. And it was all her fault.

It didn’t take long before Katrina felt tears falling. Good. She wiped at her eyes. She was wearing eyeliner so that should make it smudge a little and add to the effect. She gave a sniff and then she walked up the front steps to Perri’s house. She knocked three times.

Perri’s dad answered. He was taller than Katrina remembered and for a moment she considered turning around and fleeing back to her aunt’s car. But the memory of how he’d dragged Perri from Lily’s sleepover that night was still clear in her head, and the words that Ally had said afterward. Plus, her aunt Cat was counting on her to do this and she didn’t want to disappoint her. No way could she show herself as a coward in front of Cat. Her aunt would never be scared. Her aunt was too cool for that.

At least the way Perri’s dad was making her feel so small right now, was probably helping with the act she was giving. Katrina gave another small sniffle and then started to open her mouth.

“What do ya want?” he asked gruffly, cutting her off before she could get her words out.

Another sniff, although she was getting the impression already that that wasn’t helping. She notched her voice up a pitch. “Please, sir, can I use your phone? It’s an emergency.” The rest of her planned words died away on her lips. In the seconds she’d been at his door she knew rambling wouldn’t work.

His hand twitched on the door, obviously thinking about whether or not to slam it in her face.

Katrina blinked her tears away and straightened herself up. In her sweetest and sultriest voice she said, “It won’t take long I promise.” She did the thing where she pushed her shoulder back and dropped her chin slightly so she was looking up at him through her eyelashes. This was not a sympathetic man. But if crying didn’t work, well there was always seduction. It was what Katrina was best at anyway. She battered her eyelashes, just slightly, not too much or it would look weird.

To her surprise it worked. His whole posture changed and she felt his eyes scan the full length of her body. Gross. While she often bragged that she preferred older men, she wasn’t thinking about men like this when she said it. She was thinking about men like Coal. Even when he’d threatened to cut off her ear he’d still been beautiful. Not like this guy, with his slightly potty belly and stained collared shirt that he’d probably bought at the mall. Still, she’d make good use of the attention.

“Fine,” he grumbled as he stepped back from the door. “Hurry it up then.”

Katrina stepped through into a long hallway.

He nodded his head toward a phone attached to the wall a few metres away.

“It’s over there.”

“Thank you.” Katrina swept past him, not looking him in the eye, now that she’d gained entrance.

She reached the phone and paused. She didn’t want it to ring while pretending she was phoning home. That would be a disaster. So perhaps she should actually call someone? She had her aunt’s number. That would work.

She quickly dialed while he was still standing close by. She could feel his eyes on her.

There was no answer but that was fine. Katrina gave her best performance ever to the answering machine, pretending to explain to her mum how her boyfriend had just left her on the side of the road and she needed a ride home. Then to buy herself time she acted like her mum was giving her a lecture, occasionally trying to butt in with things like ‘but mum I...’ followed up a bit later with one word phrases like ‘uh huh’ and ‘yup’.

As she slipped into the less demanding part of her performance she carefully drew her magic into the mindwalking infusement, twisting it and calling it from wherever it was it came from. Then, invisibly she reached for Nolan’s mind.

So far, most of her practice had just been trying to read the thoughts people were actively thinking at the time. Only once before had she used mindwalking to seek out a specific memory, and that infusement had been tightly wound, made by a sorcerer and designed to guide the user. Katrina still remembered what it had felt like but despite that, this was something else entirely. This was wild magic and it was up to her to control it.

In her mind’s eye she could see a dark hallway, and miniature version of herself stepping down it. The end of the hallway was encased in shadow but as she walked forward more it revealed itself, always the same distance ahead though. What she needed was down there, she felt it. But as she bypassed door after door she started to get frustrated. Finally she stopped to consider things.

In her real hands she twisted the telephone cord and mumbled, “Mmm.”

A door appeared before her mind-self, suddenly out of nowhere. Katrina tensed up but remained where she was, acutely aware that she had to maintain her cover. In her head she stepped forward. Or was it his head?

The door opened without her touching it or anything and then it just fell away and she was blinded by a white light. Around her, a scene formed, and out of the corner of her real eyes she could swear the real world was altered a little too. And then it vanished and only the fake one remained, but it looked decidedly like the very same hallway.

Katrina knew it wasn’t. The light was different. Night had fallen and Perri’s father was no longer standing by the door. The phone had also magically put itself back on the hook.

It was strange. This was almost like dreamwalking. The tightly wound mindwalking infusement she’d used hadn’t been like this, not at all. This was far more visual. She wondered if she could shape the world around her to her will? But would that mean she was altering memories? She decided she better not.

She glanced around. Was she still standing upright in the real world or had she passed out? She hoped it wasn’t the latter, but now she was here, she might as well look around.

Voices sounded from around the corner. Laughter.

Katrina hesitated at first but then she pressed onward, reminding herself that this wasn’t real. Or maybe it was real? If memories made a person then maybe this was a real as it got? She wondered what would happen if she suddenly showed up in someone else’s memories? But it was too late for her to turn around. By the time the thought crossed her mind she was already within eye line of the kitchen, where three young girls were helping their mother ice cookies. One of them Katrina recognised as Perri. The other two both looked younger.

The middle one suddenly reached out and smeared icing on her younger sister’s nose with a giggle. The younger girl shrieked and reached for the bowel with her own fingers.

“Hey now, hey now.” Their mother tried to calm things between her own laughter.

Katrina was about to turn around and leave when the mother glanced up and looked her directly in the eye.

Katrina froze.

“Nolan, you’re back.”

Katrina frowned and spun, expecting to see Perri’s dad behind her, but there was no one there. What was going on?

She turned back to look at the woman and three girls. The girls all had their heads down now, no longer was there any laughter. They just sat there quietly icing the cookies with focused looks.

Suddenly she felt herself moving forward and not of her own volition. And then she spoke, except it wasn’t her voice. It was Nolan’s, gruff and cutting just like it had been when he’d opened the door.

“Don’t you girls all have homework?”

Katrina suddenly realised how much further away the floor was, as if she’d grown a couple of feet.

The mother stepped forward, her smile hesitant, twitching. “Nolan...” she started.

But he interrupted. Katrina lifted her arm and pointed. “Go!” came the command.

Katrina felt her lips move but she had no control over what was said or the movement of her limbs. She tried to resist but as the kids scampered from the room, she felt herself take a step towards Perri’s mother.

And then she leaned down and kissed her gently on the lips.

No, no, nonono. Katrina pulled back but she was stuck in his body, experiencing everything he did. Ugh, gross. She didn’t want to kiss this woman.

She relaxed a little as he finally pulled away. At least there hadn’t been any tongue. Now, how did she get out of this? She had felt something bend a little when she’d pushed just now, but it felt like if she pushed harder she might break something and she didn’t want to accidentally rewrite or destroy any memories. Maybe this was the memory she was looking for? Maybe this is when it had happened? It was obviously in the past. Maybe she just needed to ride it out? The kiss hadn’t been that passionate, just a casual peck between couples.

But then Nolan leaned in for another one.

Katrina tried to shut her eyes and block it out but it was like her lids had been taped open. She could only blink when he did. She kissed what he kissed.

To her horror, Nolan leaned down and gently nibbled his wife’s ear with his lips. “I’ve missed you, Iris.”

Katrina felt herself put her... his hand on his wife’s hip. He tugged her toward the hallway.

For a moment Katrina was confused about where they were going, her mind too focused on trying to prod the edges of this memory, but then realisation hit her like a tone of bricks. She had an erection. She could feel it between her legs. All the wrong body parts. The itchy stubble, the way he breathed, so heavy and slow. Ugh. How could someone else’s memory feel so real? Worst of all, she could see the rapidly approaching bedroom door and she knew exactly what he had in mind.

Nope, nope, nope, nope, nope. She definitely did not want to be here for that. Screw this!

She found the edges of his mind and she pushed hard. Out! She had to get out.

Nolan pulled them into the bedroom and closed the door behind himself. He shoved his wife roughly onto the bed.

In a place where no one could hear her, Katrina whimpered. She tried to kick to scream to fight but her body wasn’t hers. It did not respond to her commands.

Her fingers grappled at nothing as she placed her palms on the bed and slowly climbed up and over his wife.

Okay, think, she just had to think. How did she get out of the dreamworld? Maybe it was similar for mindwalking? Truth was she hadn’t always been able to. More than once she’d woken up to find it was her mum, or her dad, or her aunt who had pulled her back awake, and once when she’d been about to get eaten by some monster.

But she shouldn’t be thinking about those times, she needed to think about the times she had gotten out. These days she set and alarm clock or a dead man’s spell, something to pull herself back out in case she got stuck too long. Why hadn’t she thought to do that for this? If only she could call her aunt.

Nolan was yanking his wife’s pants off now. Down came the panties too, silky white ones with a little bow at the front. This was already way more than she wanted to see. Katrina tried not to think about it, tried not to focus on the physical feeling of being here or the fact that Nolan’s wife trimmed instead of shaved. What she needed was to find another mind? Preferably her own.

Katrina got the sense that might be hard given her own mind was currently elsewhere. What she needed was her head. How did she get back to it? How did she usually do it?

“Help! Aunt Cat!” She tried screaming, calling Cat’s name but she felt nothing, no mind she could talk to and no sound came from her lips. Her aunt must be too far away.

Sometimes it had been enough to just focus on the physical. When she dreamwalked she often lay on top of her bed, on a quilt her grandma had made. She remembered the mismatched feel of it and sometimes that would pull her back. But what did she have now?

Her fingers fumbled at her the button on her pants. No, not that. She wasn’t wearing pants, remember.

She had twirled the phone line around her fingers before she’d mindwalked. That rubbery twisty thing that curled in on itself. She focused on that, the way she could tug it and let go and it would spring back into shape. So many hours she had spent on the phone gossiping with friends, playing with that stretchy, curly cord.

She closed her eyes. The world went black. And then she felt hot breath on her cheek.