Spirit Speaker

I knelt on the ground, having hastily drawn a quick summoning circle in the dirt around me. 

I concentrated for a moment. I had to get permission from the local spirit before I could send a message. 

- Mage?

I raised an eyebrow. "You're the spirit?" 

- Sure am! How can I help? 

This spirit was young…very young. 

"How long have you been here?"

- I woke when the new count and his wife came. The old spirit moved on, and I took its place.

So that's why the land was so unusual. A new land spirit, while rare, was not unheard of, and would often cause strange phenomena while it grew into its role. 

Floating mountains were fairly common. 

"I'm just greeting you in accordance with ancient protocol." I said, "I also need to get a message to the king. May I use the spirits in this greenhouse to send it?"

- Sure. I could send it for you if you like? Joy. Eagerness. 

"You really like mortals, don't you?" I said, smiling despite myself. The spirit's joyful nature was hard to ignore. 

- They're fascinating! Curiosity and interest bloomed in the connection.

 "If you send the message for me, I'll give you access to some of my memories so you can learn more about them." 

- Deal! What message do you need sent? Excitement. 

I explained the situation to the spirit. 

- Great. I'll contact that old grump, Arantha, and he should be able to get the message to the king. I should have a reply in a few minutes. In the meantime can you show me some of your memories?

I opened my mind and showed the spirit my memories of the Academy.

I then showed it my memories of the princess, as I watched her grow up, and helped her take the throne.

I closed my mind afterwards

- What happened? The spirit asked. Is it over? 

"This next one is sad." I warned. "There is pain, and sorrow, and heartache. I don't want to expose you to those feelings."

- Show me.

"Have you experienced pain and heartache before?"

- I have watched mothers lose their children. I have watched old men die alone. I have watched orphans dig in the soil for roots to soothe their hunger. I have felt the sorrow of the stars and watched entire galaxies burn to ashes. I have seen pain, and heartache, Mage. Show me.

"As you wish. But, if it gets to be too much for you, just let me know."

*

"Anna?" I stepped into the room quietly. She was kneeling by her bedside. Praying. 

There was a sadness in the room that I had never felt before. Heavy, suffocating. 

"Master. I don't think he's going to make it." 

I sat on her bed beside her, and put my hand on her head. 

"What do you want me to say?" I asked, my mind racing for a way to comfort her. 

"Tell me a comforting lie." She whispered. "And then tell me the truth." She wrapped her arms around my legs and wept into them. 

"There is no pain." I said gently, "But, yes, he will die soon. And he will travel to the golden halls, and there he will be free."

 "No one will tell me what happened." Anger this time, she squeezed my legs, crushing them against her. I saw her hands curl into a fist. 

"It was a hunting accident," My voice was hollow, my chest tight. "The party was chasing a doe through the woods when his horse bucked and knocked him to the ground. He fell. Hard. His horse trampled him in it's panic. His ribs are shattered, his legs broken. It's a miracle he's survived this long."

"That's it? He fell." Weak, bitter laughter. "He fell and now he's going to die." 

I stroked her hair. "Would you like to see him, Highness? He's asking for you."

The princess shook her head against me. "No, Lukas." She used my name this time, the girl peering out from the cracked facade of a Royal Princess. "I don't want to see him." Then she pulled away, and pulled herself up. 

She wiped the tears from her eyes, and adjusted her hair. 

I straightened her blouse for her. She looked a mess, but only to me. To the rest of the world, she looked calm and composed. 

"But I have to." She said finally. She took my arm, her grip unsteady. I put my hand on hers, and led her from the room. "Lead me to him, Master Mage."

*

The king lay in his bed, bruised and battered. The healer had done the best he could, but there was only so much a spirit could do. No spirit can heal death. Only the Spirit King could, and he had decreed that it was the king's time.

It was crowded. Too crowded. There were priests, and dignitaries, nobles and servants. I felt Anna stiffen as one of them began to approach.

I raised my hand. 

"Leave us," I commanded, and the room emptied, everyone except the queen, who lay beside the king, holding his hand.

The princess trembled against me, leaning more heavily than she had before. I walked her to her father's bedside, and let her go.

She fell to her knees beside him. 

The king reached out, and wiped the tears from her face. 

"Anna." He whispered every breath agony. "Do you weep for me, my daughter?"

"I weep for you, father." 

The king held his hand on her cheek. She pressed it against her face, and kissed his palm. 

"You are…" He looked over to me, eyes pleading. 

I nodded, and took his hand, and then held hers. 

He closed his eyes. 

I don't know what he said to her. I don't know what words of comfort, what words of hope, what words of guidance he gave, spirit to spirit. Soul to soul. 

But when he was finished, he smiled at her, and breathed out a sigh.

And never breathed again. 

And the Princess Anna collapsed across her father's chest, and wept. 

And the queen wept. 

And I wept. 

*

- This hasn't happened yet. The spirit remarked. Question. Seeking confirmation.

I shook my head. "But it will. In 5 years time."

- Can't you stop it? Curious.

I nodded. "I could. But then I lose my advantage. I lose my knowledge of the future."

- The Spirit King sent you back to change the future. The spirit said. If you do everything the same…surely you're doomed to meet the same fate.

"I…hadn't thought of that." I got up and paced the circle. "I could save the king."

- But then you would lose the love of your life.

I stopped pacing. 

"How did you know?"

- I saw glimpses. Momentary fragments. I want to see more. 

 I sat down in the circle again. 

"This one hurts. A lot."

- Show me.

*

"My lady, you called for me?" I knocked softly on the queen mother's already-opened door. 

"Please, Lukas, Tila is fine. I'm not the queen anymore, come in, come in."

"Yes ma'am." I stepped cautiously into her chambers. 

The queen - no Lady Tila sat at her desk, writing letters. I glanced curiously at them. 

She caught me staring. 

"It's just minor correspondence. Anna simply doesn't have the time to deal with this right now, what with the famine and all."

I had never actually spoken with the queen. She had always been in the background, supporting the king from behind the throne. 

I could see why they called her the Sunrise of The Kingdom. Red hair crowned a beautiful, almost elven face, from which piercing green eyes, that knew much more than she ever told, stared at me. 

I swallowed. 

"How can I help you, highness?"

"Tila." She corrected. "If you don't call me Tila I'll start to lose my temper."

"Lady Tila at least, ma'am." I asked.

She sighed in exasperation. "Fine. But we have to work on that stiffness of yours, Lukas, you're too uptight for your own good."

I nodded. "As you say, Lady Tila. How can I help? 

"My daughter tells me that you're the reason she redistributed crown funding to the merchants in the Powen District?"

"That's where the famine has hit hardest, my lady, I felt that the extra funds could provide a sense of relief to the area."

She tapped the desk, looking at me critically. "Surely it would have been better to hand the funds to Lord Powen? He could then redistribute the funds where it was needed most?"

"My lady, despite Lord Powen's considerable…influence in the area, I don't believe that he would be the best choice to guide the relief efforts."

"Meaning he's a corrupt old fool that would pocket the money and the peasants wouldn't see a single coin."

"As you say, ma'am." 

"Don't misunderstand me, Lukas, it was a good plan, I just wanted to see your reasoning for sending it to the merchants. Why not the mayors?"

"They're his cronies, and only got into the position of power that they're in because they have their noses planted so far up Lord Powen's… pocketbook, they can't see daylight." 

She laughed. "Again, I agree. The people then. We could hand the coins directly to them."

"We could ma'am, and it will be gone in a week, and the problem will persist. I know the merchant who holds the charter for that area. He's a good man, and he was among the first to open his grain storage to the people, without recompense." 

"An honest merchant?"

"It does happen occasionally, ma'am. He has connections all over the territory, and should be able to get the resources where they're needed to be."

She nodded to herself, as if confirming something, and handed me an opened envelope. 

"This is an execution warrant for Lord Powen. There will be a trial, but his crimes are well known, and his mismanagement, if not caused, than certainly exacerbated this current crisis. If it were up to you, who would you put in his place?"

"Depending on his performance? I'd put the merchant in charge. Promise him a peerage, and give him a deadline. He'll pull through."

"Lord Erdat then?" She watched me curiously. 

So you already knew the man's name? You're testing me.

"Count Erdat, ma'am. A lordship might be too much for the man. He's shrewd and intelligent, but he absolutely hates the spotlight."

Her smile was radiant, seeming to banish the shadows from the room. 

"Very good. I approve."

"Is there anything else, my lady?" I asked, bowing and turning to leave. 

"There is one more thing, Lukas." She said, stopping me just shy of the door. 

I watched as she stood up and walked over to her sitting area. "The servants sent way too much food for me. I don't want to see it go to waste. Why don't you join me?"

She must have seen the expression on my face, and she laughed. "Come now, Lukas, I don't bite. Anna is constantly gushing about you, and I'd love to see if you hold up to her praise."

"Her Majesty is given to exaggeration, lady," I said, modestly. 

"Really? I've found her to be quite the opposite, she tends towards understatement."

Caught. Damn. I sighed and took the seat opposite her.

"I'd love to, highness."

She raised an eyebrow. 

"I'd love to, Lady Tila."

*

"That wasn't a sad memory." The spirit remarked, almost accusingly. 

"No, but it was bittersweet." 

"Bittersweet?" 

"A sunset is bittersweet. A snowflake. Both beautiful, and filled with such potential for joy, and sadness. Night follows the sunset. Winter follows the first snowfall."

"I think I understand." The spirit was quiet for a moment. "Show me another bittersweet memory."

*

It was late. Too late. I should have been in bed hours before, but Lady Tila was helping the queen iron out the last few details of a trading proposal that would open a new shipping lane.

Anna had practically pulled her hair out trying to organise the logistics before Lady Tila and I stepped in. 

Now the two of us poured over a map, staring critically at wooden model ships and ports. 

We were alone, the last of the servants having delivered mulled wine and other snacks before heading off to bed. 

"I don't get it." Lady Tila sat down heavily in her chair. She pulled her red hair from her face and tied it into a bun behind her. 

"Another all-nighter Lady Tila?' I said, handing her a goblet.

"Thanks." She took it, and eyed me over the rim of the glass. "What would you do?"

"About the lane? Honestly? I'd scrap it and go for an overland route. We'd hit more towns and cities."

"I know, but she's adamant. She wants the shipping lane, and she's mobilising too many resources to it." The lady sighed and put the goblet down. 

She rolled her shoulder, wincing. 

"Pain, ma'am?" I asked. 

"I've got this knot in my shoulder that just won't go away." She rolled it again, and then shrugged. "I give up. Will you help me with this?"

"I can call a servant, ma'am?"

"That would take too long. They're all in bed anyway. I've been grappling with this pain for weeks now."

Probably stress. She's been taking more and more responsibility on her shoulders. 

"Come here, let me show you a trick I learned in the Academy." 

I patted the seat next to me. 

"I'm willing to try anything, honestly." She got up and sat on the chair. 

I walked behind her. 

"I'm going to put my hand on your shoulder." I said, "Just to see where the pain is."

"It's here." She said pressing her fingers on the hurt spot. 

"Okay, this is going to feel a little strange." 

I placed my hand on her shoulder, and then another one on her shoulder blade below it. 

"What are you doi-ah!"

I pressed down hard. Lady Tila jumped out of her seat. "What was that?"

"Something was pinched." I said with a shrug. "I released it. Do you feel any pain?"

She rolled her shoulder. "No…I don't think so." She raised her arm and lowered it again. "That was very well done, Lukas!" 

"As you say, ma'am." I said, with a mock bow. "I live but to serve."

"Right…" She rolled her eyes. Then she closed them. And breathed deeply. "Oh, that feels good. I haven't been able to breathe in weeks."

She undid the top buttons on her blouse and fanned her skin. 

I did my best not to notice how smooth her skin was. I did my best to keep my eyes on her face. 

I failed. 

She opened her eyes and caught me looking at her. 

A wicked grin crossed her face. 

"Is there something on my face, Master Mage?"

I swallowed and looked down. "No, ma'am. Just making sure that your shoulder was okay."

I heard her get up, but I kept my head down, studying the map. "You know, I think that this might work if we built a port here," I said pointing at a small island. 

"Where?" She said, standing next to me.

"Here." I tapped the island and looked up at her. 

She was close. Too close. And she hadn't rebuttoned her blouse. 

Gods, she smelled wonderful. 

"That might work." She said, and bent over to pick up another wooden port and put it down. 

I closed my eyes and started reciting spells. 

"But I think, if we placed the port here, we could bring more coin in."

I opened my eyes, and she was sitting on the table, directly in front of me. Her face inches from mine. Her eyes were deep and green, her smile radiant and beautiful. 

She wrapped her legs around my waist and pulled me close. 

"Now, Master Mage. How much clearer do I have to be?"

"Highness. I-" I coughed and tried to put my hands on her legs to pull away. 

She caught them. And she squeezed her hold tighter on me. "Sorry?"

"Ma'am." 

The pressure didn't let up. "What's my name?"

"Lady Tila." I said, Her grip on my hands tightened. 

"No. What's my name?" 

I had to get away. I knew that if I said her name I was lost. But my legs wouldn't work. My hands wouldn't let go of hers. She was just inches away from me, and I couldn't think. I couldn't breathe, because every breath sucked more of her scent into my lungs. 

And then I noticed something. There was something in her eyes. Something soft, something… loneliness. Ceaseless loneliness. 

I relaxed my grip, and she grabbed the top of my shirt and pulled me closer. 

"Call me by my name, Master Mage." She whispered in my ear. "I'm tired of being Lady Tila. I'm tired of being the queen mother. I'm tired of being ma'am. I'm tired of being alone. Call me by my name." 

"Tila." I whispered. 

"Again." She pulled away and looked me in the eye. 

"Tila." 

She put both her hands on my face and pulled me into a kiss. 

"Again."

*

- You're hiding something. The spirit whispered, its voice curious, and comforting at the same time.

"This…requires some build-up, spirit," I said. "There are some things that need to be put into context before they make sense." 

- Show me another. 

"One more, spirit. And then we shall cease. This is taxing on me."

- Five. 

"Two."

- Three and I'll grant you a gift. 

"You have a deal." I massaged the back of my palms, they hurt. "This next one is one of my favourites. Plenty of emotions for you to learn about."

*

The court was quieting down. The seemingly endless stream of petitioners, servants and nobles had finally dried up, leaving the throne room empty save for a few servants. 

And me. 

I wasn't supposed to be in the hall, but no one was going to tell the royal advisor where he could and couldn't go.

I was reading a letter from the Academy. A report of the change of headmaster. Old Pyrab had died, and so there was a vote held. 

I was considered but wasn't selected, the Academy feeling that my position at court gave them a greater stake in the more delicate political matters of The Kingdom. 

It didn't. I owed my loyalty to the queen, and only reported to the Academy what I felt was necessary for them to know. 

"Bad news?" 

My heart skipped a beat at her voice, warm and inviting. 

"No, just news. There's a new headmaster at the Academy."

Tila snatched the letter from my hand and gave it a cursory glance. 

"They considered you for the position? And then decided against it because they had more to gain by having you here?" She looked at me, her brow furrowed in outrage. 

"I wouldn't have accepted it," I said, taking the letter back, folding it and putting it in my pocket. "It would take wild horses to drag me away from here."

"Oh?" Tila raised an eyebrow. She could convey so much with just a glance. I loved that about her. "And why is that, Master Mage? Shouldn't you have your own wizard tower by now? Spend your afternoons launching lightning bolts at passersby?"

"You've been reading too many fairy tales, ma'am," I said and offered my arm to her. She took it and together we left the throne room. To the casual observer, there was nothing inappropriate about our interaction. 

We both felt it would be better if we kept our relationship a secret, even though it pained me to do so. 

This resulted in a lot of sneaking about, clandestine meetings in corners, secret messages, meaningful glances and stolen kisses. 

It was all very juvenile. But we loved it. 

"Are you ready?" I asked, glancing around to make sure we were alone. 

"For your surprise? Of course." 

"Good. We're going to need to sneak out of here then."

"The gardens?"

"The palace." I handed her a smooth, palm-sized stone. "Do you know what this is?"

She shook her head, raising it to eye level.

"It's a changing stone. Technically they're illegal, very illegal. Like death sentence illegal."

"And you happen to have one." 

"I have two," I said, pulling another, identical stone from my pocket. 

"The reason they're so illegal is because the spirits inside them can bend light, and twist it to their own needs."

"They can make us invisible?" Tila smiled broadly. "This is magnificent."

"It can do so much more than make us invisible," I said. "All you have to do is focus on it for a few moments. Picture someone in your mind and…" My vision blurred for a moment. 

Tila gasped. "They can change your face." She whispered, awed. She reached out and traced the lines of my face with her hand. 

"How do I look?" I spun on my heels, letting her see me from every angle. 

"Dirty." She said. "Why a gardener?"

"Who else would be in the gardens at this time?"

"Should I turn to a gardener?" 

"You could change to whoever you want. Though, I do recommend it be a servant, Tila. They tend to draw less attention."

Tila pursed her lips for a second and smiled. Her eyes sparkled. Then her form shimmered and she turned into an older man, with a slight build, dark brown eyes, and the beginnings of a five o'clock shadow. His clothes were dark but well cared for. He kept his long brown hair tied up behind his head with a green band, a gift from Lady Anna when she was a little girl. 

She had turned into me.

"How do I look?" She asked, twirling for me to see.

"Old and tired," I replied blithely. "Why me, Tila? I thought we didn't want to attract attention?"

"I've been wondering what it's like to be you. An Academy professor who commands the respect of everyone he sees."

"That's not true in the slightest." I protested. "Everything I have has been given by the grace of the royal family. On my own, I'm little more than an academic."

"You still don't know how wonderful you are." She said and took my hand in hers. "I hope to be able to change that someday."

It was an odd feeling, staring into my own eyes. They glittered something fierce. A side effect of constant contact with powerful spirits. I needed to get that checked. 

"So what's the plan for the evening, gardener?" Tila puffed out her chest and broadened her shoulders, walking around in an exaggerated strut.

"You look like a peacock, milord," I said mildly. "Just a warning, the transformation doesn't change your voice, so if we are stopped, let me do the talking. I think it would be very confusing if I suddenly started speaking in the voice of an angel."

"My lips are sealed." She said, miming zipping her lips closed and throwing away the key. 

I took the lead and led her to the palace gates, where two Royal Sentinels stood guard. They dismissed me on sight and bowed deeply to Tila. 

"My Lord. Heading out for the evening?"

She nodded. 

"When can we expect you back? Or will you be returning in the morning?"

"The lord will be returning in the morning," I said hastily. "He has agreed to help my sick mother."

"Oh?" The guard looked at me, then to Tila, then back to me. "Very well, far be it from me to question the royal advisor. Be safe my lord. Things are a little dicey out there this time of year."

Tila nodded again and stepped away, grabbing my hand in the process and leading me away from the gates. 

"Lord, lord, you don't have to grab my hand like that," I said, pulling my hand from her grip. 

"That was exhilarating." Tila giggled. She actually giggled. "They thought I was you!"

"They think quite a few other things too, the way you grabbed my hand," I said glumly, dusting myself off. 

"That's right! They didn't even recognise me, and I was their queen."

"To be honest, Tila, I'm not sure they would have recognised you either way. No one expects the ruling monarch to have a standing reservation at the local pub." 

"Spoilsport." She ran her fingers through her hair and looked around. 

"Where are we going?" 

"To my old apartment. There's something I want to show you there."

"Is it far?"

I shook my head "Shouldn't take us more than twenty minutes to get to the district, and my quarters are another five minutes from there."

The walk was uneventful. We talked openly, free from listening ears. No one cared what a gardener had to say, and there were enough rumours about the royal advisor that anything Tila did in my form was taken in stride. 

She told me of her childhood as a daughter of an old merchant family, who married her off to the prince in return for exclusive trading rights in some distant part of The Kingdom. 

"The funny thing is, the trade route fell apart just three months after the wedding." She laughed, "And by then there was no way in hell I was going back. I was already deeply in love with Elyathan, and they could hang for all I cared."

She looked down for a moment. "I lost contact with them a few years after Anna was born. They simply stopped replying to my letters. I still see them sometimes, at the occasional gala, or ball. But they don't see me, not really. Not like you do."

I smiled and listened quietly. This wasn't like her.

"I still miss him you know." She said, looking at the cobblestone street. 

"The king?"

She nodded. "It's been years, but I still sleep on my side of the bed, I just can't bring myself to go over to his side." 

"Tell me more," I said. 

"I miss his smell." She said, after a second. "For the first two years after he died, I slept in his shirts. I refused to let the servants near them. It was the only way I could fall asleep."

"Lady Anna would do the same. She used to steal shirts from his dresser." 

"That's where they went." Tila laughed. "I thought I was going crazy." 

"I think she still has a few, I can get her to return them if you'd like."

She shook her head. "No need, Lukas, I've grown past that now." She cocked her head. "I've got to say, I'm a little disappointed. I thought you'd get just a little jealous."

"Not in the least," I said, raising my hands in protest. "I loved the king too. He was a great man, a mighty leader and a fantastic father. I don't begrudge you cherishing your memories with him. The past is the past, beloved. I have the present, and that's enough for me."

"I'm regretting this form now a little." She said, looking down. 

"Why?"

"Because I want to take you into that alleyway and do things to you. "

I started laughing. "Could you imagine the headlines? Royal advisor discovered in a passionate tryst with palace gardener." Tears started welling up in my eyes. "You know, I'm tempted to do it actually, just to see the chaos that would follow. Anna's face in particular would be priceless."

Tila chuckled at the thought. "It's okay," she said. "I can control myself…for now."

I didn't know my face could make the kind of expression she was giving me. I cleared my throat. 

"It's just up this way." 

I took a key from my pocket and unlocked the iron gate, led her up a flight of stone stairs, and opened the front door. 

The lamps automatically started burning when I walked in. 

"They recognise me," I explained. 

I dropped the illusion and put my bag down on a nearby chair. 

"Sit, Tila, sit. I won't be a moment."

I went to my bedroom and opened a drawer. Inside was a package, wrapped in velvet. 

I pulled it out and went back to the sitting room. 

"Here," I said handing it to her. "This is for you."

She took it carefully and removed the cloth to reveal a silver hand mirror. 

"This isn't just your everyday mirror. The spirit inside it has taken an interest in the past. It will show you things in your memory. Things that you may have forgotten."

"A memory mirror?"

"That's it. All you have to do is think about someone, and they'll appear in the mirror, as you remember them."

I took it from her, thought for a moment, and the reflection shimmered in the mirror to show a slender, blonde man, his eyes almond-shaped and green from end to end. 

"This is my dad," I said, handing it to her. "He was banished from his clan because he married my mother." 

The reflection shimmered again to show a human woman, with dark brown hair, and clear blue eyes. 

"She looks kind."

I nodded. "She is…well was. She passed away last year. She's now in the golden halls, waiting for my father."

I handed the mirror to her. "Anna said that you were missing the king terribly." I smiled. "She told me how you're struggling to sleep. I can't bring him back forever. But this mirror can, just for a few moments."

She shimmered, and the illusion dropped. She no longer looked like me. 

"Are…you sure I can have this?"

I nodded. "I don't forget things, dear one. This mirror is useless to me. I can perfectly recall every instant of my life."

"Show off." She smiled, though tears lined her cheeks. "Lukas, this is…this is wonderful. Thank you."

I shrugged modestly. "I'll give you some time alone." I stood up and left the room, headed to my bedroom, and sat on my bed. 

I brought my knees to my chest and dipped my head against them. 

It hurt. 

It hurt so much, watching the woman I loved suffer so desperately because of another man. 

There wasn't any jealousy. I didn't begrudge her her memories. The past was the past. 

Rather, I felt keenly that if I was somehow better, somehow more than I was, I would be able to take some of her pain from her. 

That, even for a moment, I could help her heal.

I don't know how long I sat there, in the dark, heart torn, but it must have been a while. 

I didn't hear the door open. 

I didn't hear her sit beside me. 

She put her head on my shoulder. 

"This must be painful." She whispered. 

I didn't look up.

"I'm sorry," I whispered, just loud enough for her to hear. "I'm sorry that you suffer so. I'm sorry that I'm not enough to take that pain from you."

There was no reply. She was silent. 

"If I could, I'd whisk you away from all this. I'd take you to the to the elven forests. I'd introduce you to my clan. I'd force them to accept you, and teach you ancient elven magicks."

I breathed deeply and raised my head. I turned to face her. 

"I'd scale the highest peak and scream at the golden halls. I'd assail the gates of the hidden cities. I'd give up my power, I'd trade it all, just to give you a moment of peace. If I thought it would help you heal, I'd tear the stars from the sky and bottle them."

"But I don't want that." She said, her voice firm. "I don't want the stars. I don't want ancient elven magicks. I don't want your power. I want you."

She grabbed my hand. "You don't understand how wonderful you are Lukas. You rescued me from a lifetime of loneliness. You showed me wonders that I'd never thought existed. You raised my daughter and watched over her while she slept. You protected my family. And you asked for nothing in return."

She pressed her lips on my palm. "You don't understand how much I love you." She put my hand on her head. 

"But you can. All you have to do is concentrate, and you'll see my soul. All you have to do is focus, and you'll know my every secret, my every thought. And then maybe…just maybe you'll understand. Maybe you'll see what you mean to The Kingdom. What you mean to Anna. What you mean to me."

I lowered my hand and held it against her cheek. And then I took her hand and put it on mine. 

"So can you," I whispered. And I showed her my soul. 

And she showed me hers. 

And I understood. 

*

The bright moonlight cast the garden into shades of blue and silver. We walked through them, the queen, Tila, and myself. 

"Isn't this nice?" Anna said, spinning in the moonlight. At times like this, she wasn't the queen. She was my student and a 29-year-old woman. 

"You're avoiding the question, Anna," Tila said reprovingly. "You need to appoint a new High Marshall of the third regiment. And no, it can't be Lukas."

"You're cruel, mother." 

I could understand the queen's hesitation. The Third Regiment was the Royal Regiment. They protected the royal family and personally represented them wherever they went. 

The High Marshall, therefore, was the queen's chief military advisor and held authority over The Kingdom's armies. Everyone, from the rawest recruit to the queen's champion answered to him. And he only answered to the queen. 

It was a big decision. 

"It's the burden of leadership, majesty." I stepped in. "You have to make the hard decisions."

"What would you do in my place?"

"I'd hold war games. Let the regiments clash, and see if you can identify a commander with the qualities you're looking for, and appoint him."

The queen stopped dead, and turned to me, chagrined. "It was that easy? You came up with the perfect solution in mere moments Lukas."

"No, majesty, I've been thinking about this for a few weeks now."

"And you didn't tell me?"

"You didn't ask. It's not proper for me to give unsolicited advice." 

"Oh come now, Lukas, when are you going to let go?" Tila interrupted. She pressed closer to me and grasped my hand. "It's time to relax. You're family."

I felt her hand linger on mine for a touch longer than was proper. 

"As you say, Lady Tila." I squeaked, my voice far higher than I meant for it to be. 

Anna watched us, a smug look on her face. "Well, thanks to you, I can finally get a good night's rest. I'm off to bed."

"Allow me to escort you, majesty." 

"I'm not a little girl anymore, Lukas." Anna blew a tuft of hair from her face. One of her habits that I'd never been able to break, no matter how hard I tried. 

"I know that, ma'am, but it's still…"

"Hush. Accompany mother in the gardens. I can take care of myself."

I shut up. She's plotting something. Anna was a great queen, but she struggled with subtlety. On any other night, she would have jumped at the chance to have me escort her, she always did, no matter how old she got.

 "As you say, ma'am." I bowed. "Good night, majesty."

"Night, Lukas. Night, Mother."

"Good night, Anna."

And we were alone. No one in sight. Not even a servant. 

And Tila took my hand. 

"We should tell her." She said, stepping into my arms. 

"She has so much on her mind already," I said, wrapping my arms around her. 

"She suspects something." 

"I know. I taught her after all. She can't hide secrets from me."

"And she approves."

"It seems so, but she might not after tonight."

"What do you mean?"

I pulled back and looked into her eyes. My heart beat fast. Too fast. She looked at me, curious, apprehensive, cautious. I couldn't tell. 

"I've been meaning to give you something," I said, pulling out a small black box. 

Her eyes widened, and she brought her hand to her mouth. 

"Are you…Now?" 

"Tila…my Tila. Will you marry me?" I knelt on the ground, feeling every feeling at the same time. Fear, love, sorrow, anger, shame. Everything all at once. 

Fear for her answer. 

Love for her soul. 

Sorrow for her pain. 

Anger at her losses. 

And shame…that somehow, I was betraying my king. 

And she read it all. I was an open book to her. She took the ring from the box. 

"It's beautiful." 

"It was my mother's. Father gave it to her the day he was banished from his clan."

The ring was made of smooth, white wood, with a clear green gem set prominently into it. 

Intricate carvings, filled with the smallest crystals, wreathed themselves around the ring. 

"I…are you sure? Are you sure you want me?"

I looked up shocked. She was weeping. 

I stood up, took her hand, and slid the ring onto her finger. 

"I have never been more sure of anything in my life, Tila. Beloved. I know that your soul belongs to someone else and that he waits for you in the golden halls, but for now, just for this life, may I give you mine?" 

She nodded and took me into her arms. "Yes. And you may have what's left of mine. It's bruised and broken, but it's yours."

I smiled. "Then let us be broken together, my love." 

 *

The sounds of fighting had died down, with only a few invaders left to expel. 

I rushed through the palace, stepping over bodies, and dodging pools of blood. I had sent Raethan ahead to protect my wife.

I hoped he got there in time. 

I turned a corner, rushing to our rooms, passing guards who saluted me as I ran.

"All safe, lord. No one on this side." 

"Good," I said, and dashed through the corridors, stopping just outside my door. 

I opened it.

And saw Raethan drive his sword deep into my wife's chest. She fell, the blade in her hand slipping from her grasp. 

"NO!" I screamed and cast a spell, blasting him away from her body. 

Or, at least, that's what I wanted to happen. There was no response to my call. The spirits didn't hear me.

Rather, I was frozen in place. 

"Master," Raethan said sadly. "You shouldn't have been here so soon."

I struggled against my binds. "Don't struggle, lord." Raethan let go of the blade and flicked his wrist. 

"I will release you in a moment."

A dark hole opened up in the wall, into which he stepped. The hole closed, and I was released from whatever held me bound. 

I rushed to my wife's side, begging the spirits around me to help me heal her. 

There was no response. 

"Tila, Tila. I'm here. Don't close your eyes. Help is coming. Help is on its way."

She grabbed my hand, her strength fading. 

" Lukas..." She whispered, her eyes filled with pain. 

"Shh, shh, save your strength. Help is coming." 

"GET IN HERE!" I screamed at the door. 

The guards rushed in. "GO. Get help. Now!"

"Lukas…it's late…it's too late. There's no way to heal what was done to me."

"You don't know that. You…"

"Call me by my name, Master Mage." She asked. "One last time."

"Tila…Don't go. Don't go. Don't leave me."

She raised her hand and traced the lines of my face. 

"Do you weep for me, beloved?" She asked. 

"Yes, Tila, I weep for you."

"Tell me you love me. Just once more. Before I go."

"I love you Tila. More than anything in this world."

"Again."

"I love you."

She smiled. And I watched the light leave her eyes. 

I watched her take her last breath. 

I watched her die. 

*

The spirit was quiet. 

- So this is grief.

I nodded. "Yes, spirit. This is grief. And sorrow. And pain."

- And if you save the king, you'll be able to avoid all this.

I swallowed. "Yes. If I save the king, then she and I will never be together. If I save the king, she and I will never be married. If I save the king, Raethan will never target her. If I save the king, she'll live."

- But if you don't she'll be yours.

"You're a cruel spirit, to show me this. To give me this choice."

I felt something brush my cheek. I looked up to see ivy, growing from the plant pots, crossing the floor, and encircling me. It gathered around me, and a branch wiped a tear from my eyes.

- And these are tears. 

"Yes, spirit. These are tears." 

- Then I know what gift I will grant you. 

The ivy grew around me, writhing and moving until it formed a cocoon. 

Yet I was not afraid. This spirit was not hostile. 

- I bless you that when the choice comes, you will not be alone to make it. 

The ivy pulsed around me, and inside the cocoon, light began to glow. 

- I bless you with the strength to make the choice. And I bless you with the power to live with your decision.

The light grew brighter until I could not open my eyes. 

- And I bless you to know that the choice you will make, will be the mind and will of the Spirit King.

*

It was late afternoon when I stumbled back into the Count's office, my clothes dishevelled, leaves and branches in my hair and my pockets. 

The count looked up at me in surprise. "You look like hell. What happened to you?"

"I met the spirit," I said a pained smile on my face. "It contacted the king."

"And? What did he have to say?"

"Continue with negotiations. He says he has complete faith in your ability to retain control of the mine, spirit stone and all." 

"And these negotiations will be happening when?"

I sat down heavily in one of the chairs. "The king will be holding a series of balls and galas in the coming months. They will happen during the celebrations. Just…you have the full support of the crown in this."

The count nodded and stood up. He put his hand on my shoulder. "Are you sure you're okay, my friend?"

I shook my head. "No, Quint," I said. "I'm not. But I will be. That spirit has a deep and abiding interest in mortals. You should be careful around it."

"Isn't it just a greenhouse spirit?"

I shook my head. "No, count. It's a land spirit. Your land spirit. And it's young. Things are going to be odd around here for the next hundred years or so."

I stood and extended my hand. "Would you mind showing me to an inn? I'm exhausted."

The count shook his head. "I've already arranged for you to stay here. We have a guest room just up the way. You and Rowan will have to share if you don't mind?"

"Not a problem."