Souls Unlimited Online: A Free Unique Skill For Everyone!!

My vision suddenly goes black.

And then I open my eyes, and it is filled with colors once again.

That is how 'seeing' works. Hahahaha!

I move my head around and find myself in Ciraphim's soft lap. Yes, she's materialized. That's hardly an ability unique to Gothra. Maybe it is in the game, but not in real life. And even then, considering how similar our Unique Skills already are, I doubt no one else has such an ability.

I move my head around and see Ciraphim's face smiling at me. One of the ways a System Avatars materialize in the real world is through robotic bodies they can inhabit. That's why I woke up resting on her warm thighs. Her very warm robot thighs.

Ahhh, I wanna just stay like this for a while. I had fun, really, a lot of fun, but man am I exhausted. Fuck those ghosts man. But like figuratively. I don't think it's possible anyway, nor would I try.

Well...

Ok no, let's not go into that.

But uhhh... I'm so fucking tired and exhausted, my body's also feeling hotter than usual, I think.

Is it my imagination...?

It probably is.

So I just laid there, peacefully.

Ah, bliss.

Until I admitted that it wasn't my imagination at all!

I suddenly sprung up, hitting Ciraphim's chin with my forehead!

"Ah! Sorry!" I said, panicking.

"It is fine, Bobby," she said with a warm smile, "I do not feel pain."

Ah right, my name's back to Bob in this world. Maybe I should change it, but... Nah. My parents died as they pleased, they had the chance for immortality, but they turned it down. Of course, it's their decision and I respect it, and I don't really hold any grudges against them. That's why I wanna keep this name, as funny as it might sound to Gothra.

Oh, right, her real name is Martyra. With her past being what it is... I didn't mention it but that's... right?

"Well... yeah..." I got over my thoughts and turned my attention back to Ciraphim, "Neither of us feel pain, but still... Though I guess Gothra couldn't care less with how she treats Bereo, hahahaha!"

"I wouldn't mind such treatment, Bobby. This body is replaceable anyway, and I will not get hurt nor perish no matter what. I will always be by your side. Til entropy comes to claim us all. So do not worry. Let's set all that aside. I can see that you want to do something else right now, no?" She asked, opening her arms wide.

"Ahahahaha," I laughed nervously, jumping into her embrace, and immediately indulging myself in her soft and warm lips.

Turns out I wasn't at all tired after all! Hahahahahahaha!

...

Ring! Ring! Ring!

Uhhh... What?

I looked at Ciraphim's eyes as she stared back at mine. Like an abyss, but a welcoming one.

"Someone is calling, Bobby."

"Calling...? Who?"

"Martyra Anchovy."

"Martyra... did I know anyone by that... Ah, Gothra!"

"Yes. It is indeed Gothra Tankernov from the game."

"I see... Fine, put it through."

"As you wish, Bobby."

A hologram projection suddenly appeared in front of me, showing a very realistic image of Gothra and Bereo, as she sat right on his lap.

She looked very similar to her in-game appearance. With long black hair tied up into twintails, eyes as black as the night, and fangs like that of a vampire poking out. She looked quite stunning, I'll admit, though well pretty much everyone's got great features so it's nothing special.

And there was also something new.

At her back, she had large angel-like wings, except they were pitch black.

And her outfit too was vastly different, being a gothic lolita, or just outright goth outfit filled with laces thorns, and even a few chains.

A far cry from her in-game wardrobe, but well that's to be expected. Who'd wear medieval clothes or plain black robes for no reason? Though I feel like she'd find a reason for the latter anyway. Or just do it, who needs a reason! Man, what a riot Gothra is. Or Martyra here in the real world, is it?

"Yo Martyra."

"Hello, Bob." She replied with a cheeky and ridiculing smile.

Geh. What now...?

"I can see that you're very busy. I'll call you back once you're done with your business."

She laughed, her words lace with venom!

"Ah, hey! I wasn't-" I tried to deny it, knowing full well that she was right. But how would she know!?

Plip.

But, before I could say any more, Gothra had already ended the call.

Damn, did she just call to make fun of me? Was that all planned then? Am I that predictable!?

I then turned to look at Ciraphim, laughing to myself, until my jaw dropped when I saw her.

She was half-naked already.

No, I know that. That part is fine. Seen it a thousand times.

But I just took Gothra's call without hesitation!

And worse... I was half-naked too!

What the fuck am I, an exhibitionist!?

Goddamit!

And she won't ever let it go either!

Aaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh!!!!

Fuck you Gothra! I blame you! Hahahahahaha!

Sigh...

Sighing to myself, I got dressed and told Ciraphim to do so as well. She looked mildly disappointed, but we can surely pick this up later.

Instead, for now, I gotta resolve this non-misunderstanding with Gothra! Or Martyra, whatevera!

I summoned a floating white chair and got on it as I went towards one of my twelve walls, the Figurine Wall. In this wall is a large shelf that covers its entire width, buried deep within the wall-- or rather, the shelf was the very wall itself.

The Figurine Wall shone with varying lights as tiny people walked around it. These tiny people are Live Figurines, very similar to regular figurines in appearance, but they're able to move around.

The Live Figurines usually walk around, do a pose, then another pose, walk some more, before doing more poses, and that's basically their entire life. Or well, they're not even alive or sentient. Very rudimentary AI comparable to the kind of things humans can make before The System even existed, though perhaps a bit more streamlined and enhanced.

This shelf actually extends far past the wall, allowing the figurines to gradually exchange positions so that those who are too far back to even appear are able to take center stage.

It's one of my favorite things, and having a friend to show it off to is nice. Besides, I might be able to distract her with this! It is Gothra after all, maybe I can lead her mind away from our earlier misunderstanding with bright colors!

I asked Ciraphim to call back Gothra once more, and she obliged.

Ring! Ring! Ring!

The call went through, but no one answered. With The System, there's no way she hasn't been notified.

...

Ring! Ring! Ring!

...

Ring! Ring! Ring!

Clack!

After waiting for a few more rings, the call finally went through, and Githra's figure appeared in front of me.

"I-" I was about to throw out my best excuse, but Gothra immediately interrupted me!

"My, how fast!" She laughed, "Who's the weak shot limp dick now!? Gahahahahahaha!"

"Geh! No! Wait, may I at least be allowed to defend myself?"

She doesn't even care at all about my kick-ass background as she's just taking this call from the comfort of her bed!

Why did even bother? I feel like I've already lost before the fight even began.

"Hmmm... Very well, the defendant and accused may proceed with his testimony."

"You're literally on your bed! How is this a court session?"

"Additional charge: Threatening a supreme court justice."

"No...! Okay, do-over, please."

"Fine, just because we're friends. I'll pull some strings."

"Thank you, your honor," I bowed, "You see-"

"Times up! Verdict: Guilty!"

"What!? T-this is tyranny!"

"It is the law! Gahahahahaha!"

"Noooo! Retrial! I demand a retrial!"

"Denied! Gahahahahahahaha! I hereby sentence you to a hundred years in Ciraphim!"

"...Oh nooooooooo... What a horrible fate... I have been fraaaaammmmeeeddd..."

"But Bobby, you've already spent a hundred years with me..." Ciraphim suddenly spoke from the sidelines.

"Ah! No! We were joking Ciraphim! See what you did, you stupid Gothra!?"

"Gahahahahahahaha! Sorry, sorry. As an apology, the court shall hereby give you a retrial. Use your best excuse!"

"Wow, Ciraphim, you got me another chance in this crooked Gothra system! Thank you!"

"I am very happy for you, Bobby." She gave me a beaming smile... Was this her plan all along? I am so moved!

"Bobby..." Gothra muttered my name... my nickname, as she laughed under her breath.

"Hey! Don't laugh! It's a cute nickname! Also, all my friends used to call me that... so I'll allow you to call me that too!"

"Wahahahahahahahhahaha! Bobby, oh god... Are you trying to sound like a tsundere? Because it's working! An ojou-sama tsundere! Good job! Gahahahahaha!"

"Geh! No! Argh!"

"Even the way you rage is exactly like one! Hahahahhahahaha! Do blonde twintails next!"

"Geh! I will not!"

"Hahahahaha! Alright, alright. Let the retrial commence!"

"Thank you, your... 'honor.'"

"Hoh? Do you want more prison time?"

"Giiihh! Alright, I'll be serious. Your honor, I present to you this evidence... being half-naked is just in our culture!"

"Then why are you not half-naked right now?"

"Well, that's... It'd be inappropriate for a trial such as this!"

"Hoh? Well, aren't you thoughtful. How about this, then? While there are cultures that do dress very immodestly, they don't bother making the clothes modest first and then stripping them down to reveal more skin. What would be the point of that? Just make them light and sparse to begin with."

"I... well... Wait a second! How do you know for certain that our clothes weren't the revealing kind to begin with? Were you staring that hard, oh miss judge!?"

"Huh!? Don't be stupid! There's no way that I, the paragon of the law would even do such a vulgar thing!"

"Then how do you know?"

"I've got a good memory."

"You've got excuses more like."

"Grrr..."

"Give up yet? All you have to do is to let me walk out of this hall free, and we can all forget any of this ever happened~~"

"Nope. One more. Tiebreaker round."

"Eh? What tie?"

"You lost one from the very beginning."

"Eeeehhh?? But that was cheating, not fair!"

"Do you want to be charged with contempt of the court too?"

"...Sigh. Fine, I'll beat your corrupt system and bring a people's revolution."

"You're welcome to try, parasite."

Boss fight!!!

"Alright," Gothra began, "Here is the 69 Million dollar question..."

I gulped, cold sweat running down my back up to my ass crack.

"Bobby... if you truly are from such a culture that celebrates half-nakedness... (Don't say why not go all the way. Don't say why not go all the way!) What country in specific was that culture from!?"

What... country?

There are... there are so many to choose from!

But half naked... half-naked... It has to be a hot place right? A hot place... a hot place, a volcano... No, that's stupid. A desert! A desert, yes! With a big fucking sun! Well, it's the same sun as everyone else's, but you know what I mean!

Sirens blared in my head as I struggled to think harder than I ever have before.

The country I choose... My answer is... A place that is very hot, with many a pyramid and shit...

"Egypt!" I gave my final answer!

...

And then Gothra froze, unable to quip back. She shook in terror, regret, and rage!

Looks like that was a direct hit...!

"Oho? What's this Gothra? Cat got you...r..."

But then I noticed that something was off. Something was wrong about Gothra! Well, many things, but this time in particular!

She wasn't cowering at all!

No... she was...

"He... hehehe..."

She was chuckling. Cackling like an evil witch!

"Foolish Bobby," Gothra... No, Martyra looked at me like a Demon Lord high up the skies, as if her mere gaze is enough to reduce my very soul to ashes. "I live in Egypt!"

"No... it can't be!"

"Oh, but it is. And that is not the correct answer. Far from it!"

"B-but how!?"

"You fool! It doesn't matter now with The System, but it's a culture built on the fucking desert! Was your thought process so shallow that you thought hot = no clothes!? Nay! People of the sand wear thick clothing to protect from the natural sandstorms, to protect from the blaring heat of the sun that could literally fry your skin open with blisters all over! Not to mention the cold as fuck nights that would freeze your non-existent balls if you ever tried to go around half-naked!"

"Aahggghh!!!" I took a critical hit to my heart, and slumped down in defeat! "Guggghhhhh...!"

"Pftt! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"S-shut up! You win, alright! I can't believe I actually chose the country you're in!!"

"Oh, I win alright. You brainless fucking idiot! I am not from Egypt, nor have I ever been, nor even researched the place! That was a fucking bluff and you fell for it hook, line, and sinker! Gwahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahaha!"

"W-WHAT!?"

"Yes! YES! Despair, despair! That is the gap between you and me, commoner! Gahahahahahahahahahahahaha!"

"Unnnnngggghhh!!!" I was already dead, but I didn't know that I could go even lower...!

Ah, it was nice knowing you, world.

Ciraphim... forgive me, but I must go now.

Gothra... Martyra Anchovy... I swear I'll come back to haunt you...! You shant ever have a day of rest! You will smell like the fucking anchovy you are! Like a smelly rotten fish! ROTTEN FIIIIIIIIIIIIIISH!!! RAAARGH!!!!!

My return shall make the ghosts we fought that day look like a fucking cakewalk in the park bench.

Just you wait! Just you wait, you hear me!?

Just you fucking wait!!!!

Dead.

(For those who are unfamiliar with the hit product 'Anime Girl Butthole'. Ojou-sama refers to a very rich girl, with an extremely snobby and elite personality. Something that is totally fictional because all rich people in real life got there purely because of their hard work and without ever exploiting anyone. They also think very fondly of those of lower social standing and would like everyone to rise to their level of prosperity someday.)