Songbird: What it Means to be the Hero

{-Rennyn-}

“I… think we’re going in the right direction,” Noa mumbled, seemingly in deep concentration. He wasn’t very far but, to Rennyn, he sounded like he was.

Kaylin’s voice was the same way when she spoke. “Are you sure?”

“N-no, not really… if I’m being honest, I’m just going off of a feeling here…”

“Well, a feeling’s better than nothing.”

Rennyn hoped they never found anyone. There was something he dreaded more than being the hero—being in charge of other people’s lives…

~~~

None of the lives would be what he considered pleasant. After all, a hero always had to have some kind of trial, obstacles in their way of defeating the villain. He’d never considered himself close to anyone in the first—most were only interested in themselves and, as much as he’d tried, only Kaylin stood by him. In the second, he was sure that he’d lost her, but it ended before he could know for sure. It was a pain that never got easier, always thinking this is the last time you’ll get hurt to be proven wrong. But that was only part of it.

In the third life, they’d met someone surprisingly close to their age. She was an indispensable ally—no, a friend—by providing them with the information they needed to make their voices heard.

Only in hindsight did he realize that he really should’ve seen that one coming.

The last time they’d spoken, she’d just given them crucial information that could prove Dhymos’s involvement to the court. She’d given them a wide smile, walked them to the door of her humble offices. “Songbird, be sure to come back when it’s over, alright?” She’d nudged him. “Don’t forget the one that got you in there! Drop my name in the court, won’t you? They’ll definitely be impressed!”

Yet they came back—they needed more information, more leads. Rennyn noticed the door was open, but maybe she just hadn’t closed it. He walked in like usual; called her name, in case she was working somewhere else.

But she didn’t answer.

He found her dead body at the desk—had to sort through the documents covered in her blood in order to learn what she’d been doing. She’d been one step ahead of them, finding the facts they ultimately used to put a stop to Dhymos.

Kaylin considered it a victory, because at least they had what they needed, even if her “sacrifice” was unfortunate. Rennyn could never believe that. She’d died trying to help them. It didn’t matter whether or not it had been after her discoveries were made. The way he saw it, she’d died doing something for him.

What kind of hero got someone killed for doing something he should’ve done himself?

~~~

More distant conversation.

“What… do you think caused it? The fact we’re not all together..?”

“I’m not sure. Maybe it’s the same way Dhymos had altered Elidia and Dalleira—the same way they’re no longer recognized as goddesses.”

“How can someone like that have that kind of power, anyway?”

A pause. “I think it’s better not to consider it. All that worrying can be saved for later.”

~~~

“I’m not kidding!” he tried, desperate. “Come on, I’m being serious! This is dangerous!”

Their leader shrugged. “Songbird, I don’t think you can say all that stuff and think we’re going to believe you.”

“You think I’m lying?”

“Can you blame us? Who in their right mind would come up with having lived seven other lives, not to mention the stuff you did in them?”

“But I’m not making this up!”

The rest of them all looked at each other, seeming to come to the same conclusion that their leader had. Of course Kaylin wasn’t here—she could’ve been able to prove it to them. But Rennyn was alone, with no way of convincing them out of this.

“This could give us the upper hand,” their leader explained. “Unless you’ve got some solid evidence, we can’t pass this up. Don’t you want to end this as soon as possible?”

“Of course I do! B-but—“

“No buts, unless it’s some cold, hard evidence.” Their leader patted him on the head and gave him a supposed-to-be-reassuring smile. “If you’re really that worried about it, you can wait until we give you the all-clear. No matter what, though, the rest of us are going in. I doubt any of your fears will come true.”

So, Rennyn stayed there. He waited, hoping he was wrong—hoping that he’d jumped to conclusions or made some false guess.

But he was the one that returned to the rest of the camp and had to tell them the news. They’d lost their leader and some of the best men the rebellion had to offer.

~~~

He had a feeling there was more conversation—there must’ve been something, given the days it took to travel—but he only paid attention to snippets of it. It must not have all been bad, though, because Noa sounded pretty excited when their destination was in sight.

“That’s Zaitha, right?”

Kaylin nodded. “Otherwise known as the Crow’s Nest. Here, we’ll find our answers.”

“Possibly,” Rennyn grumbled. Had this been the first thing he said during the trip? He didn’t know. If it wasn’t, he wasn’t sure what it was that he’d said.

“Hopefully,” Kaylin corrected, in what really had been the more optimistic of the two.

~~~

He’d let those kids die.

Or, at least, that’s what everyone told him.

Those few months spent desperately searching meant nothing. It didn’t matter how much he gave—the things he sacrificed, the needs he purposely ignored to save time. It didn’t matter how confident they had been in his abilities before.

As soon as they “failed” him, they assumed he’d been the problem all along. Nothing mattered except for the fact that he’d walked in to find them all dead; that he’d been the only one to walk back to the village.

It almost seemed strange that this was the moment he felt the world on his shoulders.

Mothers looked at each other, comforted by husbands. Siblings and friends huddled together, either too young to understand the implications or too old to live in ignorance of them. Even strangers were left in silence.

Finally, someone broke the silence. “You could’ve saved them.”

Another nodded. “It was because of your running around that they’re dead.”

“This never would’ve happened if you’d focused on the mission at hand.”

“Does that mean nothing to you? Why are you just standing there?”

In truth, he stood there because he didn’t know what else to do. He stayed silent because he had nothing to say. Only he knew the purpose of that “running around,” just how focused he was to save them. But he knew that, if he’d been a second quicker, he could’ve done something. So they had to be right—he’d made a mistake somewhere.

“I-I’ll fix this,” he tried quietly. “I’ll make sure to stop the one responsible.”

“Well, I hope so. No one can bring back the dead. The least you can do is stop anyone else from getting hurt.”

He was supposed to be their hero; he was supposed to save them. But he could never save everyone. So, maybe…

~~~

“Kaylin,” Rennyn mumbled, almost surprised that she heard him.

Both she and Noa stopped to face him, and she gave him a worried frown. “Is something wrong? We can stop here, if you’d like. We’ve been traveling for a while and you look like you could use the break… We were talking about asking someone for directions to an inn…”

Rennyn shook his head. “That’s not the issue.”

“Then what is it..?”

“What if this is all more trouble than it’s worth?”

“What?”

“Looking for allies. We’re just going to have to keep them from getting hurt and we can’t guarantee that—in fact, it’ll probably happen no matter what we do. It’ll save us the time if we can do this with just the two of us.”

“Where’s this coming from all of a sudden..?”

“You weren’t there all the time but I know what’ll happen once we let someone join us. Dhymos won’t pass up that opportunity—“

“You’ve heard about Noa’s story, and what Elidia and Dalleira told us. With as much lining up as it is, we’ll undoubtedly need all five of us in order to defeat Dhymos.”

“All they’re going to do is get—“

She shook her head, glancing at Noa before walking up to Rennyn and whispering, “I know you don’t want to do this. But think about how this is making you look. I don’t care if you’re afraid of failing—quite frankly, so are the rest of us. What kind of message do you think it gives them—gives Noa—if you’re obviously pushing everyone away?”

He stayed quiet.

“You don’t have to get close to anyone,” she said as she backed away. “You’ve just got to act the part. Come on, where’s that Songbird I used to know..?”

“Dead,” he mumbled, though he didn’t expect her to hear him, “like the rest of them.”