Songbird: What it Means to be the Hero

{-Rennyn-}

Kaylin led the way, as the one with the map. It must’ve only been of Ilatenes—unsurprisingly, given how little the average person traveled from their home—but it was enough to get them through the area and to the region’s capital.

“So we’re going to be traveling across the continent,” Allyna began, “and the two of you look like you’re just going about your day.”

“I’ve done this before,” Rennyn mumbled. As little as he wanted to talk about it, he had to partially acknowledge it had to happen eventually; between the questions that needed answers and her general curiosity, it was only a matter of time. “Both of us have. This isn’t anything out of the ordinary for me anymore.”

A part of him wished it was—that he’d find even a fragment of Allyna’s enthusiasm in his mission again. Maybe it would make him more willing to do it out of anything more than obligation. Now, he only wanted to do what he needed to, ensure the job was done once and for all, and hopefully not die in the process. He wasn’t expecting to enjoy any part of this.

“Can you tell me about it?” Allyna asked, adopting a bit of caution. She must’ve noticed something, then, in the change of his actions since meeting Kaylin. “You keep mentioning it. I don’t really understand how you could’ve done this enough to act so casually when I know for a fact you’ve barely left town…”

He sighed—perhaps that moment of having to tell her came a little sooner than he was hoping. At least this might get her to stop asking so many questions. “Well, you’re not wrong, but there’s a lot more to it than that. I’ve lived fourteen other lives before this one. Each time, when I turned thirteen, I remembered what happened in the previous ones and something happens that sets me off on another heroic adventure…”

~~~

A bunch of kids around his age were gathered here. This was the first time, so he was completely unaware of whatever theme they might follow; the longer he thought about it, the more he realized he actually didn’t remember anything before this. He was nervous—there was no one that he knew there. Though one of the clearly richer kids among them, whose name and face were different yet his mind still called Kaylin when recalling the memory, caught his attention from across the room. They kept staring at each other as one of the oldest in the group walked into the center.

“You’re all here for one reason!” the oldest declared, silencing all the other whispers. “Some guy thinks that he can control our lord’s lands—the same place where your homes are. It’s our job to remind him who’s territory this is! We’re fighting for our homes. If you don’t want to do that, then go ahead and leave now—you’ve got no place here if you’re not willing to defend it. If not, we’re meeting them first thing tomorrow morning. We’ve got to show them we’re not going to back down.”

~

He’d been all kinds of things. A couple of times he was simply living on the streets, only vague recollections of who must’ve once been his parents. Most commonly, like in his current life, he was just a random kid from some random town or village no one cared about—one who turned out to be even more significant from the others, or find himself in the presence of soldiers. He’d been the son of a grand adventurer and a mercenary. He’d even been a prince, once, though luxury was still something he never knew.

Kaylin’s lives were just as varied. Sometimes they grew up together, usually when they were the only one the other could rely on. Half the time, they only ever met each other when they were both called to be heroes. Others, he never even encountered her.

And, a few times, she’d died.

~~~

Rennyn told Allyna far from everything. It took him a lot more concentration than it seemed just to make sure he told the basics without getting too far into his own head.

“So let me get this straight,” she said once he finished. “You’ve been a hero not once, but fourteen times? And you did all of that amazing hero stuff? Why didn’t you ever tell us?” She wasn’t upset or disappointed in the slightest; no, she wasn’t asking because she was hurt that he’d hid something from her. She was asking because she couldn’t believe her little brother had the thing she always wanted.

“I didn’t think it would be important,” Rennyn mumbled honestly. “I was hoping I’d never have to think about them again. Besides, it… didn’t go well the last time I tried…”

People had gotten hurt then. A part of him claimed he’d done everything he could’ve. The rest stated, in the voices of so many others, that he could’ve—should’ve—done better. He was their hero.

A hero didn’t let people get killed.

“What happened at the end of your last life, then?” Allyna asked, unaware of what it would bring up. “What made you that confident that you’d never have to do it again?” He could tell the question she didn’t ask: Why did you want it to be over?

But, even though he meant to give an honest answer, the only thing he could think of was, It isn’t over until I’ve dragged you down with me.

That haunting grin came back to taunt every corner of his mind; he felt a rise of panic to have to see it again. The last few moments of that life kept replaying. He didn’t want to do this. He couldn’t do this, not again.

It must’ve only been a minute after Allyna asked the question that she decided, “Actually, it doesn’t matter. You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.”

“There’s something better to discuss anyway,” Kaylin remarked. “We still have to figure out what we’re going to do to get everything the goddesses want. Hopefully we’ll be able to get the Sword from Lord Aymer…”

“We shouldn’t place our bets on it,” Rennyn mumbled. “There’s nine others it could be with. But maybe, if we’re really lucky, he’ll tell us who has it—assuming he knows, and we’re even able to get his attention.”

“Well, I doubt we’re going to get anywhere just by trying to knock on the door,” Allyna pointed out casually. “We’re going to have to make him acknowledge that we’re here and worth listening to.”

He was almost afraid to ask, “And what do you think we should do to get there?”

“I don’t know. Force some of the guards to let us in? Find some way to sneak into wherever he stays?”

“Personally, I think that’s how people get thrown in jail,” Kaylin said. “And I don’t think any of us are going to be able to stop Dhymos if we’re thought to have tried to assassinate Lord Aymer.”

“We’re not assassinating anyone. Just finding our way in to talk with him.” Allyna shrugged.

Kaylin looked like she had so much more she was going to say, but she simply summed it up with, “Let’s just… not do that. At all. No forcing, no break-ins.”

“Sounds like you’re not too interested in really getting in at all.”

Rennyn sighed. “We’ll think of a way when we get there. I have to side with Kaylin on this one, though. Allyna, think about it—how would you react if someone randomly burst through the door and asked for a cup of flour?”

Her expression and tone was one of complete indifference. “I’d ask him where he was three minutes ago when Mom and Dad just went to sell the rest of it.”

“I think you acknowledge that isn’t the point.”

“But I’m being honest! It’s something we’ve got to think about anyway, isn’t it? For all we know, whatever works with Lord Aymer isn’t going to work with King Merith. I heard that guy only associates with people who can give him what he wants and I don’t know if he’d acknowledge ‘saving the world’ as one of those things.”

“Maybe, but an important point still stands no matter what,” Kaylin remarked. “If we can talk to Lord Aymer, then we have our metaphorical foot in the door already. Persuading one of the leaders of what we’re doing should make it easier to convince all of the others—especially if he’s able to give them his word that we mean what we say.”

“We should focus on getting there first,” Rennyn mumbled. “We need to look out for whatever Dhymos might end up doing, too. He’s not going to stay silent if he knows his opposition is coming.”

“I didn’t think the goddesses mentioned any kind of direct contact,” Allyna said. “It sounded like they wanted you to avoid it.”

“I’m not dumb enough to think I can face him like this and he’s smarter than to challenge me before he has all of his cards ready. But I also know better than to think he’s not going to do anything at all. Sooner or later, even if it’s not directly, he’s going to try to find some way to stop us. We’ve got to keep an eye out for it—no matter what it is, we do not want to be caught unprepared when it happens.”