Songbird: What it Means to be the Hero

{-Rennyn-}

There he was, standing over his defeated opponent. He should’ve been happy—he’d done it, after all. Or at least, he hoped he had.

He couldn’t do this again.

He focused the last remaining pieces of his strength to maintain a stable appearance; as if he wasn’t exhausted, the only thing making him better from his opponent being that, hopefully, he’d still be alive. Even that was something he wasn’t sure of.

“It’s over,” he declared, only a bit of weariness showing. His sword was pointed towards his opponent. The end would be coming soon. “You’ve lost for good. I’m not your toy in whatever game you’re playing anymore.”

Maybe he’d be able to have a normal life for once.

“Oh, really?” his opponent laughed. “I’d thought you a bit wiser than that. Watch me die, if that’ll assure you. But know that this isn’t the end.” His opponent gave a smile that would haunt him for nights on end. “It isn’t over until I’ve dragged you down with me, Songbird.”

~~~

He would’ve gotten up quicker, if the sun hadn’t felt comforting against that dark nightmare, and he hadn’t found the peace and quiet particularly calming. It did, at least, do its part to make it look like he was never taunted by the memory by the time someone found him.

That moment came a bit quicker than he was hoping.

“Rennyn, come on, quit sleeping on the job!” He felt something—a sack of wool, perhaps, that their parents intended on selling—hit him, but he felt no more compelled to get up. “I don’t get what Mom and Dad had to do to raise such a lazy kid like you.”

“Five more minutes?” he asked with a smirk—one that wasn’t real, honestly—as he opened just one of his eyes. He missed the opportunity for stuff like this. He’d never had an older sibling in any of the other lives.

Allyna walked over to where he was to whack him with the sack again. “You know you’re not getting away with that. Dad needs you, I’m not strong enough to lift the heavier stuff.” She paused, glancing around their surroundings. “I’ve got to give you credit for something, though. You always end up finding the weirdest places to slack off.”

He sat up with a nod and got off the wagon. “I don’t think they’re weird, just the places no one else thinks to look for me.”

“We are outside of town and I spent fifteen minutes trying to find you,” Allyna pointed out, though the grin suggested she found some part of it amusing. “What do you plan on doing when you’ve got to put in some real work?”

“I don’t know,” he replied honestly. Whatever he’d do as the son of merchants would be nothing to the fourteen other fates he had. He’d be happy with anything he got—the idea that it was over was good enough for him.

Someone’s—or a whole nation’s—fate wasn’t on his shoulders anymore. He could finally just be normal, the guy known for doing absolutely nothing except his family’s business.

The image of a grin came to his mind then, but he shook it off. This had to be his happy ending. He needed it to be.

He couldn’t do that again.

“Hey, do you see something?” He was startled when Allyna put a hand on his shoulder. “You got tense all of a sudden. You know Dad’s not gonna be that mad at you, if that’s what you’re worried about. He’s probably not even going to mention it.”

Rennyn nodded—first only once then, with a pause to gain his bearings, a few more that had a nervousness to them. “I know. I guess I’m just nervous anyway?”

He knew it was over. It had to be.

It had to be.

Thankfully, she didn’t seem to realize there was anything more to it than that. Or maybe she did and she just didn’t mention it. Either way, she didn’t say anything more to him. They returned to where their parents were and she only gave a wave before helping their mother inside.

“Rennyn, perfect timing!” their father called, smiling. Once Rennyn got a little closer, he gestured to a few boxes closer to the house. “Could you pack those up for me? There’s a few more right on the other side of the door.”

“Where do you plan on going this time?” Rennyn asked as he picked up one of the larger boxes and near-effortlessly brought it to the wagon.

Their father shrugged, taking a seat on a different box. “Not far, just the next big town and back. You know I don’t have the energy for those longer rides—I don’t think I could manage another long haul to Silvium. Soon enough one of you might be doing it for me!”

Rennyn gave a weak smile. “I’m sure Allyna would do it, she’s always been desperate for a chance to leave town and see what else is out there.” He didn’t envy her. He was actually grateful that the people in this life rarely ever left their little communities; it meant he could stay in a comfortable bubble forever.

They were both quiet for a moment—when bits of a plea could be heard from inside that proved his point—and their father chuckled. “I don’t think I could trust her on her own. She’d get sidetracked at the faintest sign of something interesting. You’d need to be there to balance her out. Your mother would sleep better, too—you’d be able to handle bandits and the like better.”

Rennyn could only let out a bit of nervous laughter. He’d seen enough people die, friend and foe, that he’d rather avoid that role if he could.

He worked for a little longer, upholding a casual conversation while he did, to bring the rest of the boxes to the wagon. It was on the last box that he had to carry that he thought he saw someone he recognized in the crowd and dropped the box.

It was barely a moment after he realized what he did that their father was right beside him.

“Are you alright, Rennyn?” he asked with a concerned frown.

“Y-yeah—my grip must’ve… slipped…” Rennyn scanned the crowd again, trying to find that person, anyone that he might recognize.

He’d never seen her before this moment, yet he knew who she was. None of the three ever possessed the same appearance or name, though they seemed to have no trouble finding each other. A “sense” assured that.

A sense he had not been expecting to feel ever again. He knew that if she was there, then so was he. And if he was there, it was only a matter of time before—

No. This was his happy ending.

Never again.

Still, a panic rose inside him, and just as their father was about to say something, Rennyn asked, “Will you need me?”

Their father shook his head. “I’ll clean this up. You’ve done a lot and I’m sure you’re tired—go get something to eat and take a break. I can get Allyna if I need anything.”

Rennyn mumbled his thanks before quickly retreating inside. He avoided Allyna and their mother—who both stopped what they were doing after seeing him, and if they tried to talk to him he didn’t pay attention. He went to his room and shut the door. There might’ve been knocking and a worried voice on the other side, but it was faint. It got further away every second he was left alone with his thoughts, after every quickening heartbeat and panicked breath.

It isn’t over until I’ve dragged you down with me.

It—it couldn’t be true, could it? He had used any kind of lie he could to further his own goals—whatever those goals had been, ultimately. Sure, they didn’t make sense. But none of it did.

Rennyn had nearly learned the hard way that it was better just to leave it unknown.

He must’ve mistaken what he felt. It couldn’t have been her. He’d spent two years with nothing but the memories of those past lives; other than those reminders and haunting trials, he hadn’t experienced anything. He didn’t hear news of an important noble dying or of a war breaking out. No one told him to be their hero or, really, acknowledge he was there at all.

That had to be it. He had to be wrong. But how could he make up that kind of feeling..?

No, it had to be just his imagination. He was thinking about it too much. It had been two years. If he’d somehow avoided it this long, then he wasn’t a part of it.

Either that, or it was already too late.

But that brought its own spiral of thoughts. He forced himself to push that doubt down for now.

He’d managed, somehow, to pull himself back out of the dark just as he heard his mother call, “Rennyn, there’s a young woman here for you.”

This was happening. But he couldn’t run away if it was.

Rennyn slowly came out of his room and glanced at the door. The same person he’d sensed earlier was there, giving a considerate look around the house before her eyes settled on him.

She smiled. “It’s nice to see you again, Songbird.”