Chapter 590: First Letter
Her voice came out more like a strangled cry or a choked sob and this was undoubtedly the most emotional Milia had ever been.
Throughout her life, Milia had suffered through three great upheavals and those events shaped the woman she was now.
The first one came from the death of her parents because of the war between Lustburg and Wratharis all those years ago. Living as a street urchin had not been easy, Milia had learned how to lay low and how to not attract the attention of dangerous people or perverts who might hurt her for their sick pleasures. After all, even as a kid she had quite the early development.
Her best efforts had not been enough though as she was captured as an experiment by those under the order of Neptune Luxuria and what she went through there was pure hell.
A hell that she only survived by slowly killing all the feelings inside her heart while also relying on the few who had survived alongside her. Those people became family or at least as close to one as it was possible. They were people she cared for and was ready to die for.
Sadly, reality once again slapped her in the face as even those feelings had not been enough to stop the greed and jealousy of a few, which prompted their betrayal and as such — Their execution.
This was the final nail in the coffin, the event that birthed the creation of her Zone, Melancholia.
Each of those events had broken pieces of her heart, and her tears had completely dried up as she realized that no one would wipe away her tears for her.
She was alone. An abomination that had no reason to exist, a heartless monster who killed those she swore to protect.
Those days had been dark for her, days she wished she could end her own life but she had been too much of a coward to even do such things.Things changed when she found Sol. He was like a ray of sunshine in a world where only darkness and shadow reigned and he slowly became her only reason to live.
Milia was not stupid. She had enough knowledge about psychology to understand that her love and obsession for Sol was a twisted feeling born from her depression and her feeling of loneliness.
Those feelings did not shine as brightly as those lovely young girls such as Isis, Setsuna, or Lilin had for Sol. Hers were dark, disgusting feelings that crawled like maggots and bugs that were attracted to the light shining on them.
Did she want to form a contract with Sol? What a senseless question. Of course, she wanted to! She even dreamed of it. There was little she wanted more than this. Her very purpose in life was to be of use to him and signing a contract would put a part of her soul in his while bringing a part of his soul in her. She would become his strength and a support for him to bring to greater heights.
How could she not want it?
If Nuwa had never appeared, she would have happily accepted to sign a contract with him and give even her soul to him. But Nuwa did appear and she was nothing but a straight upgrade to everything Milia had to offer to Sol.
Milia wished to become Sol”s strength and It was exactly because she wanted it so much she knew that she could not form a contract with him.
Because if she did, rather than becoming his strength, she would be nothing but a weakness. A dead weight that would bring him nothing but trouble. Even if Sol assured her that everything would be alright, deep down she would always wonder if Sol could not have gained more by signing with someone else.
She could not allow her rationality to get clouded by her emotions and selfish desires. She could not let Sol make a mistake that he might regret in the future either. She had to make sure that Sol became as strong as possible. This was her duty and her duty trumped her feelings.
“Sorry, I cannot accept this contract. It’s simply not right.”
She sniffed a little but her gaze was clear and her decision was made. Even if it tore her inside, she would not budge on this unless she was sure that this decision would not bring down Sol.
Her feelings would never be as important as his success. This was the absolute truth by which she lived.
“Milia…” Sol uttered her name quietly as he watched the tears fall uncontrollably from her face. Sol could guess the thoughts filling her mind at the moment and he could feel the strong reticence coming from her.
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He knew that at this moment, he could not convince Milia if he stopped at emotions. The only way to convince her was to make her understand that this action was undoubtedly the best one possible.
This was not something wanted. He did not wish for his relationship with Milia to be based on something like pure logic and interest.
Calm down and think.
Sol had many choices at his disposal. Force Milia by using his own way, going ahead imposing his feelings without thinking of hers, and getting what he wanted by making her listen to him.
Milia was loyal to a fault to him and she would undoubtedly obey him if he ordered her to sign a contract with him. But this was not what he wanted. He did not wish to cause grief to those he loved, much less ignore their feelings.
Thankfully, Sol’s choices had not been fueled simply by hot-headedness, “Milia, I want you to…No, I hope that you believe me when I say this. Signing a contract with you is undoubtedly risky. But…The risks are outweighed by the possible rewards.”
He grabbed her arms before sliding slowly until he held her hands. They were so small and frail. He could even feel small tremors as her shoulders shook because of her sobs.
“Look at me.” She did as he asked and held his gaze with hers, “I would never lie to you and you know me more than anyone else in this world so you should be able to know that I am telling the truth. If my plan works, you will be the last stone to everything I have been trying to build until now, and for everything to work, I do not just need someone powerful, I need someone who completes me and whose feelings for me are so strong that no doubt about them can exist.”
The strength of a contact depends on the type and the relationship between the two parties. Even if Sol wished to make a contract with Nuwa, the simple fact was that he was not close enough to her and this was not something that could be changed in less than seven days.
Even if it was simply a Gluttony-type contract, the link between them would be too weak.
“Listen to me well. Getting a power-up from the contract would be nice and Nuwa Devour is definitely superior to yours when it comes to self-growth. But I can get it later from her when we become closer. What I need now though isn’t the power of Devouring. What I need is threefold. I need shadows, I need earth and more importantly, I need a powerful and unbreakable link. Because once my plan starts…Only the strength of the bond I have made will be able to help me succeed.”
His eyes started shining, “Milia… What I am trying to do is something that has never been done in this world and the only way to do the impossible is to break through convention and logic.”
As sappy as this may seem, what he truly needed was undoubtedly the power of emotions. He needed all his contracts a template and Milia fitted everything to a T. More so than Nuwa could.
“Is it…” Milia felt a small hope burn through her heart and almost asked if what Sol said was truly the truth but, looking at his eyes, she swallowed the rest of her words.
There was no need to ask, there was no need to even ponder or hesitate. Sol was undoubtedly telling the truth at this moment.
She did not know what made her happier. The fact that she could be useful to him or the fact that she could indeed make a contract with him and reach a level of intimacy and closeness that was even beyond marriage.
“I am sorry for making you cry.”
Milia closed her eyes as she felt Sol wipe away her tears with his thumb. His movements were slow and gentle as if he was trying to soothe a small child.
She opened her eyes wide when she felt his lips on hers but soon closed them once again and let herself go as the two of them exchanged a deep and passionate kiss. Somehow, this kiss was different from all those they had until now. This was not a kiss filled with passion and desire.
No. This was a soft and gentle kiss, one that was filled with love, reassurance, and longing as well as a promise for a better tomorrow.
When their lips finally separated, she found herself blushing, as heat spread across her cheeks and this heat did not diminish as Sol teased her about it for a short while before finally taking a serious expression, “Are you ready? What kind of contract do you wish to make with me?”
“Do you even need to ask?” She smiled tenderly before taking two steps and gave an elegant curtsey.
Even if Milia had been a virgin and so able to form a Lust contract with Sol, she would have not taken this road. Her love for Sol was undeniable but it was like a candle to the great fire that was the devotion and loyalty she had for him.
Sol was her lover but he was also her master, her lord, and even in a certain way — Her god.
Sol understood this and did not need to argue. “Then, let’s start.” He took a deep breath and searched for the power and feeling that came when he formed a contract.
His eyes shone with luster as he called upon the law of the world,
“I call the attention of the world…and that of the goddesses”
The world listened and thus answered. A large grin formed on Sol’s face even as the magical circle appeared below him and Milia.
So I was right.
He fought the urge to laugh even as the very structure of the world and the fabric of reality seemed to have no secret in front of his eyes.
The large tree of light and the unending river of time had never seemed so close yet so distant. He had the feeling that he could almost touch them as if the very law of the world were at his fingertips.
At the same time, the name that had been so blurry before seemed clearer in his mind now, and he could even see the first letter of his name forming in his very soul as if branding him.
That letter was — “D”