Somewhere Someplace

Slightly tall and flashy, located within its own little square pocket of space, the doors to which had a small set of stairs leading to them. In many ways, it fit the 'theme' of this ancient city; however, it was nevertheless so very familiar and, indeed, unmistakable.

The main hall of an Adventurers' Guild branch; it looked exactly as it would and should, anywhere anyplace.

The plaza around was empty; there was no security stationed anywhere, despite being under occupation. However, there was a cheap and worn-looking wagon that had been parked in an obscure corner—pluperfect being the key tense since wherever originally it had been parked was irrelevant. For a most familiar and essence-horrifying creature—a majestic silky equine adorned with a horn—was so obsessively, indeed obsessively, chewing on a painted wooden poll of sorts. Its glittery saliva was slobbered all over as it comprehensively licked, slowly dissolving the painted wood as if mushy paper.

"…"
« … »

Both Novea and Nilia so blankly stared at this sight… The noises it was making…

"…of course, Red brought him straight here…" Novea sighed with a slight groan… "I don't even…" She did not even know, nor did she frankly want to know.

Nilia, likewise, did not bother pondering; that monstrosity was an abyss not worth analyzing.

Of course, the reality was fairly mundane: reprocessed New World pixie dust was a common additive in contemporary Far Western paints for longevity, color saturation, and 'mystical effect'. But such was neither here nor there.

"Alrightly," Novea, aheming, turned to Nilia, "remember: I'll do the talking. Follow my flow and keep things consistent. At most, just repeat what Halfway told you."

"I know." Indeed, Nilia remembered their final huddle-talk before Hathway's separation.

"Goodly heard…" Novea took in a breath followed by another breath, relaxing and readying herself. "So, obviously, those two are already inside—probably been there for the last…couple hours…or half…? Has it really been that long? Wow…" She ahemed, refocusing; "Anyway, so, let's get this over with."

"Following you…" Nilia simply acknowledged.

With a nod, Novea approached and stepped up the leading stairs, Nilia following along. Yet she then took a momentary pause, looking up and around… Her raven, that ambiguous shadow, she saw; it had followed above and was now perched atop a roof close by…alongside a murder of crows who seemed bound to it.

Somebody had made friends, it seemed.

Nevertheless, masked breath in and out, Novea finally opened that door and stepped into that space; one structurally so very similar to that in Coastfield yet uniquely Grandberrien in grandeur.

"Ahh! Ahah!! A Raven!!! Finally!!!!"

And before that door behind could even come swinging closed, such an ecstatic voice immediately pummeled their way, the source of which was situated, naturally, behind that main receptionist counter—one made of marble, not wood.

"You know when we send a group or 'collective' subpoena—not an individual—all persons listed in the notice are supposed to show up as one with the formal document and you obviously did not do that but I get it since you're such a busy girl who probably came here because of some overlapping job or whatever secret things but regardless I'd appreciate it if you followed our standard procedures properly to save time." This woman was talking…fast.

Whilst Nilia was stuck parsing that onslaught of words, Novea had already dissected it. Red and Blue, she noticed… They were miserably slumped over at one of the social-hub tables; shriveled and suffocated, looking dead and soulless despite still breathing.

With her masked eyes turning, "You did not do anything to them, rightly?" she swiftly interrogated.

"Why would I? I just had them wait for you."

Indeed. The woman simply had them wait.

"I did bestow a courtesy by beginning rudimentary procedures without the presence of all persons but I'm policy-bound not to begin questioning until the formal subpoena is received and identities are confirmed but I already did the latter with those two at least."

Novea placed her ammunition bag and large carry bag down against the corner next to the now closed door. "Well. Here I am." she simply replied, before taking out from beneath her cloak that necessary subpoena document, slightly wrinkled. "And here this is."

"Finally…" Red's shriveled and wrinkled breaths muttered out, not even upset as much as plainly relieved. "Come on, Blue…" Standing up, he shook his companion.

"Ehuh?" Blue stumbled awake as if coming back to life… "What? Is it over?" she so mumblingly inquired, but then turned her head… "Oh…" She saw that Raven standing in place, finally here, in addition to… "Who?"

Yet Red just nudged her to get moving. The two proceeded to swiftly rendezvous with Novea, standing as a group. Nilia, however, tactically distanced herself slightly as to create a sense of separation, although both Red and Blue's questioning eyes were glancing, having obviously noticed her.

That woman herself, meanwhile, had stepped away from that main counter and was now making her way towards them.

Aesthetically, she was inseparable from a Guild receptionist, having that same distinct and unmistakable fashion of professionalized attire. Yet her vest was neither that lower light blue nor that higher dark indigo-blue; it was a distinct darkish pink—a color designation unobserved in any receptionists seen so far. The amulet affixed to her collar, likewise, was partially divergent in design, being more gold-tinted than 'bronze' or 'silver' in coloring shine, with a sharp and distinct bleeding red—not blue—center gem.

Although Nilia still somewhat lacked the same 'know' of the others, it was nonetheless plainly evident even to her that this was no ordinary Guild receptionist.

And with eyes adorned by glimmery spectacles, being visibly baggy as if drained of soul—full of maddened exhaustion… Hands held behind her back, her stature was one of authority; her walk, one of punishment; her smile, conniving… Indeed, there was something almost sinister about this woman.

Red leaned into Novea's hood-obscured ears. "Just so you know, this one's a mouther." he whispered, warning.

Yet Novea needed not be told the obvious.

"Alrightly!" The woman, so arriving, promptly snatched the subpoena document from Novea's hand, hmming as she read. "Blah, blah… Yep, yep… Blue Iceweaver and Red—just Red—both already accounted for and we already chatted—or I did with him at least—, but, uhm…" Her eyes then glanced down at Novea. "I take it you are the Raven who identified herself as 'Nine' with the Grassberry branch?"

Being almost the same height as Red, this woman was quite tall even with respect to local standards and especially with respect to the other three women who themselves were—to differing degrees—below average in height… Never mind that she was also quite…well, prominent, so to speak, in her figure.

Prominent enough that Novea was kind of just…caught in a stare; one that perhaps was lasting too many seconds.

"Raven?" Indeed, the woman prompted. "Verbal confirmation, please."

"Huh?" Novea swiftly snapped out of it with a discreet shake to her head. "Oh, rightly, apologies…" Without further remark, "Yes. I am the Raven who identified as 'Nine'." she confirmed.

"Splendid!" The woman thus clapped her hands together. "Of course, I'll have to take you by your words even though you could literally be lying and be a whole different Raven and I wouldn't be any the wiser, but this is all just procedural anyway!" She proceeded to step back as if to get a broad look at the subpoenaed persons. "Alrightly! All three are present, identities confirmed, and I have the formal document, so we may now formally begin!"

"Thank the Demon-King's gaping asshole…" Red had to mutter; there was nothing more soul-draining than the slow grinds of bureaucratic proceduralism.

Yet the woman's yapping continued. "I suppose introductions are in order—even though because of how long this little subpoena was in circulation never mind how long it took you get here and never mind your most recent delay I had more than enough time to request, receive, and read your confidential profiles and Citadel records while waiting!! So, I kind of already know about you all!!" Her eyes yet then flattened in expression as they flipped to Novea. "Except for you, Raven. Obviously, I don't know shit about you—and I even asked for the appropriate limited records and instead of simply saying 'no' they literally took the time to send me dozens of pages of completely blackened text." Her voice was bland.

"Good." Novea was equally bland. "Anyway, can we skip the playing around?"

"Hm…" Yet the woman needed to so 'think' for a moment… "I am not too sure, I've been so very bored… Hm…" She glanced to Red. "Hey, Reddy. I've heard you're renowned for monologuing to random receptionists 'bout stuff… Anything you want to monologue about? Maybe, hm… I don't know, something about the 'lack of a future for the Guild' or the 'death of adventuring' or 'the world no longer needing us' or…?"

"Yeah, yeah… You just wanna catch me breaching that stupid loyalty pledge. Hah, hah." Red so waved his hand. "You've yapped enough already. We get it: you read all about us and know shit."

This story has been stolen from Royal Road. If you read it on Amazon, please report it

"Hm. Well, I mean, I didn't even need to read your profile to know who you are." The woman's voice turned stale. "Everyone knows about you, Dragon Slayer, and oh how hating you so is standard policy."

"Heh. Oh, yeah… You also made that very mirror fucking clear." Red, deciding to flip his temper, almost smirked. "But you wanna know something, lady? There are things about me neither you nor miss Bureau Bug know and won't ever know. Unlike you, I know how to keep my mouth shut."

Blue suppressed a bursting chuckle. He was actually saying that?

"Hmm…" Yet the woman simply pressed her finger upon her chin, as if contemplating… She had noticed Blue's humored snicker. "Yes… Everyone does have things they don't know…" She eyed him with a smile. "Kind of like how you don't know your adorable little girlfriend Blue Iceweaver has a single incident report within her Citadel records filed by the Wheatfield Guild branch regarding her being caught having sex with two other adventurers in a staff-only closet space." She spoke that quite fast.

"Deh." Blue froze, legs immediately clenching as a bright red blush burned her face.

"…" Red's expression blanked completely, needing a moment to process this sudden information. His neck then so surely creaked to Blue, eyes glaring… "…seriously?"

"Eh-heh…" Blue was sweating, embarrassed yet clearly guilty… "Yeah—ahem… Remember, uhm, when you left me at the hall saying that you would return in ten-minutes only for that ten-minutes to become…three full hours?"

"…" Red stared at her… "The first week you joined the Guild, are you serious?"

"Heh…heh…" Blue was unable to retain any eye contact with him. "On the bright wing of the phoenix, I was…only given a stern lecture and a warning because I was…a freshly new Copper."

Red slowly nodded his head… "So, that's why you were waiting outside at the…" He sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Gods' sacred toilet…"

"…in my defense, those two initiated it. They…made the advances and flattery, and I was terribly bored…" Blue tried to defend, awkwardly.

"Yeah… I guess…that's what I get for leaving you alone for too long in the same space as those doorknobs… Always making moves on new Copper ladies." Red acknowledged, even though he believed Blue was probably the chief instigator.

The woman meanwhile observed their banter with amusement, albeit she was perhaps slightly disappointed by the lack of heartbroken drama from infidelity. "Oh, I get it…" Yet she was able to infer… "I see… That's how you two are… 'Unbounded', huh? Interessting."

"Satisfied?" Novea so interrupted, herself unamused and clearly impatient. "Can we move on now?"

The woman sighed. "Fine, fine… Fun's over." Thus, with a single clap, "Alrightly!" she changed her tune… Only for her eyes to so dance away from those three as they fell towards…that other soul, silent yet nevertheless present. "Wait… Why's there four of you? The subpoena only listed three. Who are you?"

Eyes turned to Nilia as if a spotlight had been cast her way… Although, she herself found it hard to believe that this lady had seemingly not noticed her this whole time. Indeed, there was something that felt calculated about her tone and turning shift.

Nevertheless, with a sigh, she stepped forward into the figurative light. "I am Nilia de Relevancia." she introduced herself, trying to 'bow' despite having forgotten how; "I am a volunteer specialist with the United Central Trade Company. I was given the summoning notice to come here."

The woman immediately popped up as if with remembering realization. "Ohh!! Yes, yes! You! Rightly right… Wow, I can't believe I forgot about that!"

" 'Nilia de Relevancia', huh?" Red, eyeing, noted. "So, you can speak…" he muttered quietly… Indeed, he was not obtuse as to who this actually was.

"Who de whom?" Blue, on the other hand, remained seemingly naive. "Is she with us or? Wait…" Indeed, she turned to Red; "What happened to the other…"

"My 'team'," Novea meanwhile began to formally explain, "these two and I, as part of the cooperation efforts between the Bureau of Scribes and Documentation and the United Central Company have been assigned to assist in the Company's campaign of which you may or may not be aware. Volunteer de Relevancia was attached to us as the Company's…liaison, apparently being affiliated with the Thirteenth Grand Regiment. I cannot go into more details for obvious reasons."

"With the Company, huh?" Red again so quietly noted.

"Hm…" The woman so stroked her chin. "I see… What a coincidence, then."

"Indeed." Novea so 'agreed'. "I was surprised too… The Company informed me as soon as I arrived, and that she had also been abruptly summoned." She took out Nilia's summoning notice, handing it to her. "That's why I was late. They wanted me to wait for her arrival and guide her here; they want this handled fast, and they told me to tell you to 'be more specific with your invoices' the next time."

"Mmm… That so?" The woman so pondered as she took the summoning notice… "I only received forenotice from my guardsmen at the gates about those two's arrival"—she pointed to Red and Blue—"but no mention of a Raven… You separated from them? Did you enter through the slaver's gate, mayhap? That is closer to their headquarters… Or, mayhap, a…secretive way?"

"As if I would tell you." Novea was blunt.

"True, but they also did not give me forenotice that my summoned masquerade-wearing volunteer had arrived either…" the woman so remarked; "You two enter the same way? Together, mayhap?"

Truth be told, because these circumstances were ultimately a result of her own sudden…impulsive plan-switching, Novea was not actually as prepared for this as she would have preferred. Indeed, bullshitting with some Company sergeant was very different from bullshitting with a seasoned person of the Citadel Administration… And she could tell this woman was prodding; she did not like the implications.

"That would be…correct." She decided to feign honesty; "Your notice fell down their chain, reaching her managing regiment which then reached the commander of our escort—we were escorted by the Company after the Humbleberry predicament. I was asked to wait outside the city for her arrival and then guide her in."

"Huh." The woman twisted her lips. "Guess the Company can work that fast, then." Her eyes looked at Nilia… "So, is she one of those docile Far Western women or something?" Her voice remained directed at Novea, however. "Because, like, it's a little weird how you're speaking on her behalf like you're her husband. She's an attached liaison—she can speak for herself, surely? And, also, like I'm a little astonished that the Company's command weirdos would approve a woman for a war campaign… Was she approved?"

"I was asked to help her with this and communicate for her; that's what I'm doing." Novea replied. "I don't know too much about her, if that's what you're wondering. And with respect, you are starting to ask too many questions. Your concern should only be with the subpoena and her separate individual summoning."

"Hm…" Yet the woman so poked her chin, eyes returning to her. "I wouldn't be too sure about that, Raven… And your intimidations might work with branch receptionists, but you know I'm the bigger goblin here." Her eyes once again flipped to Nilia… "Hm. Whatever, at least she's here."

"And why am I here?" Nilia decided to speak for herself.

"Ah, of course," the woman began to reply, "rightly, 'Volunteer Service Corps member, Nilia de Relevancia'. You were the volunteer mentioned to have discovered those bodies in Coastfield."

"Bodies?" Blue mumbled, slightly disconcerted.

"Oh. That…" Indeed, that. Nilia immediately knew. "Yes, that… Thus, you know of that?"

"As a matter of fact, I am well aware of that!" the woman gleefully confirmed; "We were sent a so-called report from the Company's Coastfield authorities regarding that discovery because of potential relevancy to our own on-going investigations. They mentioned some of your observations which I found interesting, and I wanted to confirm some details with you myself, since United Trade really really sucks with their so-called reports. 'Oh, the woman was hysterical, making the most brazen of claims, but yes, we did determine from our own investigations that fowl play was possible'." She mocked their accents.

"I see…" Nilia just acknowledged.

Novea meanwhile perhaps felt slightly eased within… So, this was about Coastfield, then? This suggested that the Office's interest was likely exclusive to that shared report; that they were probably not digging deeper… Yet… What was with that line of questioning earlier, then? That prodding… Hm.

The woman's eyes momentarily glanced at Novea before returning to Nilia… "Although, honestly, I kinda was astonished when I saw your name—I was like: woah, 'Nilia de Relevancia'? Where had I heard that name before? Is this really the same girl? It adds such twisted irony to this!"

"…"
« … »

Both blanked albeit in different ways.

"Wait, what?" Novea's breaths sank; indeed, she had eased far too soon. "What…are you talking about?"

The woman flipped her eyes to her. "Oh, don't worry, she's a random nobody for the Bureau's concern, surely? Internal matter and all—but… Hm…" She was seemingly reconsidering; "Because she's your 'attached liaison' from the Company, maybe I should be transparent… Hm… Would you believe that shared report wasn't even the first time her name's reached my desk?" Her eyes so flipped back to Nilia, a smirk emerging on her face. "And the only reason a name like hers would ever arrive at a desk like mine is if they did something really really naughty."

Nilia…perhaps…did not like where this was going.

Stepping slightly back, the woman showfully ahemed. "Might I introduce you, then: Nilia de Relevancia, former Copper-ranked adventurer and serial quest-thief of the Coastfield Guild branch." Yep… "Banned and expelled, she was responsible for at least a hundred counts of undignified quest-thievery against her fellow branch members and members of the Oceanfield branch, contributing to an untold number of indirect extra-necessary injuries—never mind also threatening her entire hall with a fucking hand mortar!! Wild!!!"

"Serial quest-thief?" Red glared at Nilia with a grimace.

"Threatening with a hand mortar…?" Blue more curiously stared…

« … » Nilia herself stood there, static. "Ah… Thus, you…know of that…also?"

"How??" Novea was the one to loudly blurt. "I mean…" Fuck…

"Ah, so you did know…" The woman turned to the Raven as if everything had pulled her way… "How, you ask, to which I must say how not? It's not like every. single. fucking. incident report from every Guild branch eventually reaches the desks of the Security Office which we bottom secretaries have to review, sort out, and make endless copies of! So many…fucking copies that nobody—not the upper bitch above me or the actual egg-in-charge—will read because it's my fucking job to read and memorize their shit for them!!!" She was smiling as she rapidly spoke.

"Uhuh…" Novea tried to remain unobvious… She could have sworn the Coastfield branch had expunged everything regarding a Nilia de Relevancia—including her…actions.

"Though, honestly," the woman so continued, "what made that incident report really funny to us wasn't even what she did—which was still wild—but—and you have to be a receptionist to really get this—but the write date, complete date, sign date, filing date, and postmark date were administratively the same—separated only by a half-day! Usually they're never that close because most sane ladies would take several days to do all that work especially for a major incident report, but that Coastfield receptionist had it written, compiled, verified, and sent our way by practically her next morning! Crazy! She must've remained at that hall all night with zero sleep!! Trust me, I'd fucking know!!!"

Strange feelings suddenly emerging, Nilia's mask-obscured eyes fell down and aside…

Novea meanwhile sighed… Frankly, it was hard to know whether this woman's speech was a genuine flow or a contrived dance. Nevertheless… "Ah, that…explains it…" Indeed, so an incident report had already been sent by the time they had moved to expunge Nilia's records… How did they miss this?

"Anyway, now the fun's over." The woman clapped a single clap. "My turn to introduce myself, I am Undersecretary—actually who the fuck cares about my name!" She certainly did not. "I have been assigned temporary oversight over this branch hall on behest of my supervisors in the Security Office, amongst many other…tasks, because there is never one—always five if you're lucky, often times ten…" She ahemed. "Anyhow, you." She pointed at Nilia. "Order of least importance. We'll start with you; should be quick. So, come, come… To the 'Room of Interrogation', ahah…"

Thus, this so-called 'undersecretary' of the Security Office so departed off with Nilia, retreating into the depths of this occupied Guild hall, leaving those three by themselves.

"So… 'Nilia', huh?" Red promptly glared at Novea. "Mind finally telling me what the fuck that one's actually about?"

Novea nearly grughed… "Didn't you claim to know when to keep your mouth shut, Red?" She was absolutely in no mood for this.