Chapter 173: Decisions and advices
•Caesar
"Something is bothering you, isn't it?" Nora asked while we both sat on the roof, "Is it about the Hound tribe?"
I had told her about the email and the details I knew.
"I've been thinking about it for a while, but I can't seem to come to an answer." I looked at the sky.
"If you can't come to answer, doesn't that mean you have considered leaving?" I looked at Nora, "The option is there in your mind, otherwise you wouldn't be stuck."
It was an ordinary day with an ordinary weather. Everything was moving along like it usually does except for me.
I was troubled about what I had learned.
I looked down on my hands, "I've," I took a deep breath, "I've never mentioned it but I never forgot that place either." I fiddled with my fingers, "I mean well, I don't remember much but I do remember somethings and my sword remained a constant reminder of the tribes. A reminder of what my origin is, where I'm from and what I am." I spoke in lower tone than usual but it was enough for Nora to understand what I was saying.
She placed her hand on top of mine as I continued, "I guess I always wished things were different." I licked my lips as my mind wandered to the place I left when I was child.
"Even though you found a family here?" She asked in a concerned voice.
I gave her a wry smile and nodded, "Even though I had found a family here…" I sighed again, "I'm not saying I don't like it here."
"I know."
"This place has been my home and a place I love always coming back to and while I had put my past behind me, sometimes, very rarely, I always wondered what if the tribes lived with better rules." Nora slipped her arms around my arm and snuggled next to me, as if providing emotional support. I smiled.
"You can take your time and sort it all out. I'll be right here."
There was a few minutes of silence.
"It would be weird to leave after all these years." I said softly.
"It will be." She answered.
"And going back there would be even weirder after 2 decades."
"No." She denied, "It might feel weird but it's your place."
There was another pause for a few seconds.
"I still don't understand why I can't decide."
"Perhaps, it's because you do want to go back."
"To the place with horrible memories?"
"Maybe to the place where you can visit your sister and mother again."
My sister and my mother… The thought always crossed my mind and the desire to visit their graves made my heart ache.
I always wondered in what shape they were, after all, no one was there to take care of them.
Every time I remembered them, I had to push my feelings away because they were far away, in another country.
A place that did things wrong.
"If I go?" I started, "Will it make any difference?"
"I believe in you."
"How so?"
Nora looked into my eyes, "Because you know what's wrong, you can make it right." I felt my heart skip a beat at her words.
I wonder.
"Do you think taking the tribe would be hard? More than the person you're replacing, it's the people under whose approval matter."
"I can't tell you for sure, but it might not be that difficult as you think, because you are not a complete outsider."
"Hmmm."
Nora broke away from me and sat in front, then placed both her hands on my cheeks, "You want to go right?" She smiled, "I can tell."
I looked down, "But,"
"But you're worried about leaving here?" I nodded, "Worried that you'd be alone there while here you have everything?"
"It's a weird feeling." I placed my hands on her, "I've been here for twenty years and Arius and I are too attached to each other. It just feels so hollow." I looked into her eyes, "The thought of leaving."
She joined her head with mine, "I can understand." She whispered, "But know this, I'll always be by your side. I won't leave you ever again." She kissed my lips softly, "That's a promise." She backed away, "Arius and Azalea will make their own family here and we will make ours there."
I looked at her in silence for a few moments, "Are you sure? That place will be completely foregin for you."
She shook her head and smiled, "This mansion and environment was completely foregin too when you kidnapped me."
I chuckled, "Leaving the country can be very different."
She snorted, "Do you want to go without me?"
"... No…"
She giggled, "Then I'll go. IF, you decide to go. The final decision is in your hands." She squeezed my hands in hers, "I'll go wherever you go."
I smiled at her, "Thank you." I said softly.
"My pleasure my love." She flashed me a toothy smile.
"Nora?"
"Yes?"
"I love you."
She clearly wasn't expecting my sudden confession and got confused.
"Oh-ah,um." Her cheeks got slightly red and made me chuckle, "Hey!" She slapped my shoulder, "Why are you laughing?!"
"Because you look adorable." She slapped my arms again but I held her hands and brought them down, "I mean it."
She pouted, "It seems like you've changed in the past one and half year."
"Maybe… I did say I would try to express myself more."
She bit her lips, "Yea…"
"I'll try to come up with an answer as soon as I can."
She hugged me, "No need to rush, take your time." She looked back at me and then got closer, "Choose what YOU want to do." Then she joined her lips with mine.
After breaking the kiss she looked into my eyes, "I love you too."
Just words.
But, they mean so much.
Hearing them makes my heart fill up so much that I couldn't help but kiss her again.