NOVEL WEB Chapter 5: Chapter 5 – The Ghosts We Carry
(Flashback – Astria & Aurelle's Past)
The first time Aurelle kissed me, it was raining.
Not a storm—just a light drizzle, the kind that made the streets shine under streetlights and turned the world into something softer, quieter.
We had snuck away from a campus event, slipping into the back alley behind the art building. The music and laughter from the main hall still echoed in the distance, but here, it was just us.
Just her and me.
"You're gonna get your dress wet," I had murmured, half a laugh, half a warning.
Aurelle had just smirked, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear. "I don't care."
I should've pulled away. I should've reminded her that people were expecting us, that we couldn't just disappear like this.
But then, she leaned in, close enough that I could see every drop of rain clinging to her lashes.
And she whispered, "Tell me to stop, and I will."
I didn't.
So she kissed me.
And for a moment—just a moment—I let myself forget everything else.
---
A Few Months Later – Reality Bites
"Are you gonna say anything, or just keep looking at me like that?"
I blinked, snapped out of my thoughts. Across from me, Aurelle was watching, a smirk playing at her lips, but her eyes…
Her eyes weren't smug at all.
We were in my room—my carefully organized, picture-perfect room that looked more like a showroom than a place someone actually lived in.
And we weren't fighting.
Not yet.
But we were close.
"You've been distant lately," I finally said, voice careful. "Did I do something?"
Aurelle exhaled, running a hand through her hair. "Not everything is about you, Astria."
I flinched. Not because of what she said, but because of how she said it.
"That's not what I meant," I murmured.
She shook her head, laughing—but it wasn't happy.
"You know what our problem is?" she said, tilting her head. "We live in different worlds. And we're both too scared to admit it."
I swallowed hard. "That's not true."
"Astria." She met my gaze, sharp and knowing. "You're never gonna let people see this." She gestured between us. "Us. And I can't keep being your secret."
My heart pounded. "I—I just need time."
She smiled, but it was the kind that hurt more than any glare ever could.
"We don't have time."
Silence stretched between us.
Then, finally, she sighed.
And when she spoke again, her voice was gentler—but that just made it worse.
"I love you, Astria," she whispered. "But I love myself more."
And that was the night she walked away.
And I let her.
---
Back to the Present – Astria's POV
Aurelle's voice still rang in my head as I sat at my desk, staring at my reflection in the mirror.
I love you, but I love myself more.
Back then, I thought she was cruel. That she was selfish for not waiting, for not understanding.
Now, I wondered if maybe…
She was just right.