Slipspace

The couch felt suddenly uncomfortable as I shifted in place. I really didn’t like the pressure, despite knowing I had quite purposefully brought it on myself. Echo was patient as she waited for me. I tried to remember back to how I had told Jay, but the words didn’t want to come out.

“It’s okay. Take your time. I’m in no rush here.” Her voice was so calm that it seemed to be a balm to my nerves. 

I took a deep breath and steadied myself as best I could. 

“I knew of the Celeste Institute because I am saving up money for a visit myself. I’m trans-femme too, she/her pronouns and all that. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you before, but I’ve literally only told my mentor and my AI before. I’ve known for several years now, I just haven’t been able to afford the treatment I wanted and there’s a lot of people around here that wouldn’t take kindly to it, my boss especially. I was afraid I would lose my contract. I couldn’t leave, though, because my ship’s FTL drive wasn't ready. I didn’t want to just leave it behind.” 

My voice was broken throughout my explanation and there was a decent amount of stuttering, but Echo took it with grace and by the end of it, had a soft smile on her face. 

“Well, with all that in mind I would like to know better who I‘m dealing with before I continue talking to the wrong person.” Contrary to my halting speech, hers was smooth and well calculated. 

A tear forced its way from one eye. “Adresta. That’s the name I picked.”

Echo’s hand extended gently. “Then it is nice to finally meet you properly, Miss Adresta. You are a fine pilot and a good person from what I see. I’m Callisto Annette Erickson. You can call me Echo.”

A second tear pushed out. I gingerly took the proffered hand and gave it a small shake.  

“I will admit,” she said gently, “I kinda suspected you were trans as well.”

I gulped.

“Don’t get me wrong, I’m sure you hide it well enough from others, but I recognized a few things I used to do a lot too.” She gave a soft laugh. 

“The clothes were a big thing for me back then. I never wore anything form fitting if I could get away with it. I grew my hair out longer too, though it was a very different colour at the time.” She ran a hand through her pride-screaming locks.

“Probably the biggest clue was when someone started referencing you as male though. It was subtle, but I saw the cringe and how you started shutting down. And then the spark of euphoria when I specifically avoided using masc coded language with my father really sold it to me. Your eyes lit up in a way that I couldn’t see as anything else.”

Part of me wanted to cry at being so obvious. Another part wanted to cry from the euphoria and acceptance. In one corner of my mind though, I had to laugh. Echo had so easily figured me out and I was reminded of something I had seen in some of the hypernet forums. 

“I guess my transponder is working correctly after all.” The questioning look I received for that comment made me actually laugh. “Well, you know how gay people have Gaydar? Trans people have transponders. We get around other trans people and *beep!*”

She laughed at that too before getting a sly look in her eyes. “That’s pretty good, but I think my gaydar is working too. I don’t think a rogue planetoid could have been more obvious.”

The heat of a white star erupted in my face and I spluttered. “W-where’s a black hole when you need one…”

Echo nearly fell off the couch laughing. “Ah! Useless transbian mode has been activated! It’s alright, cutie, I won’t hold it against you. I’m hot as a hull plate during re-entry and I know it. If you are going to get a new shell, why not go all out?” She proceeded to smirk and set her shoulders back in just such a way that she was displaying her figure. I had to figure that my face was about the colour of a tomato at that moment. 

My spluttering response did absolutely nothing to improve my condition. “I… uh… girls…”

Echo in turn just laughed harder before relaxing back into the couch. “Yeah, I remember those days too. Don’t worry Adresta, you won’t get any judgement from me. I know those feelings all too well. I never had this level of confidence before my transition. My visit to the institute changed a lot more than just my appearance. The feeling of just being in the right form did more for my self image than really anything… Well, other than my parents accepting me so wholeheartedly when I told them that I was trans.” 

Jealousy pinged in my heart as she talked, but it was accompanied by hopes of what that particular miracle could do for me. Echo proved to be just as intuitive as ever though and spoke up again, her voice soft, and putting a gentle hand on my shoulder.

“Don’t worry, girl. Your time is coming, I’m sure of it. Someday soon, you will get your chance, and when you do, the stars themselves won’t be able to compare to the light coming off of you.”

A shiver made its way down my spine, bringing a wave of warmth and comfort that went all the way to my toes. It was hard to stop the tears as I responded with a quiet thank you. I gave in to my urges and leaned over to hug the girl. “That means a lot.”

Echo accepted the hug easily and held me for a few blissful seconds before letting go. I swallowed thickly and returned to my previous spot. I took a deep breath to steady myself. 

“I’ve known since not long after I joined up with the Forge. But I was scared to tell anyone after seeing how some others in my position were treated. I was terrified of losing everything I had worked for. I hadn’t told a soul until this last year.” She nodded silently. 

“Now I’m just saving up money doing my work here. I don’t want to leave the Oxide behind though, so I’m torn between buying the parts I need or paying for my ticket to Celeste.” Almost without bidding, the words began tumbling out of my mouth. “I won’t lie though, the truth is that I can barely stand working with Kruger. That man is a terrible person and thinks of nothing but himself. He consistently does everything he can to pinch credits, even if that means he screws over the contractors that make him all his money. Sure, he has some that he gives preferential treatment, but I’m definitely not one of them.

“I don’t think I can take it much more here. This life is what I wanted, I thought, but I don’t feel like I’m getting any closer to either of my goals anymore. It was great at first and I was making good money, but I just am not anymore. I’m only just paying my bills and can’t really put anything back for my savings. The prices of living just keep going up as this station keeps on falling apart.”

“Sounds pretty rough. Any plans on how you are going to get out?” Her question was innocent but it gave a perfect opportunity to share exactly what I was thinking of. 

“The meeting with your father? I’m going to ask if I can sign on with Erickson Enterprises. You guys definitely recognize the value of my ship and know that I’m a good pilot. I’m just hoping that it's enough to convince Captain Marcus to take me on.”

Echo’s eyebrows rose and she nodded appraisingly. “Even beyond my personal thoughts about you, I could definitely see how you and your ship would be an asset for the company. If Dad asks, I could easily see giving my support to the request.”

It made me happy that Echo saw value in the idea and gave me hope for my meeting with the Captain. “Thanks for the encouragement. I really hope it goes well. I had a pretty deep conversation with my mentor last night that finally drilled the idea into my head that it isn’t worth me staying here when it’s affecting my mental health so negatively. There are better things out there for me and I can’t hold myself back from a better life in the present for the ever-worsening chances for a better future.”

“There’s definitely some wisdom in that,” she said. Her mouth opened to speak further but she was interrupted by a chime from her commlink. She looked at me briefly and I gave an approving nod. 

“This is Callisto…. Uh huh? What?! That doesn't make any sense... Alright, I’ll be there soon. I’m just finishing up breakfast station-side, so give me a couple minutes. Thanks for the heads up.” 

Echo groaned as the call ended and looked over to me again. “Apparently something weird is going on onboard the Ratatosk. The crew were moving the ship back out of the Torgal docks when a fault came up in the reactor core and everything went down. The ship is drifting dead in controlled space. Station tugs are already pushing it into a dock, but dad is recalling all of the crew to the ship.”

My face screwed up upon hearing about the problem. As complicated as reactor cores were, they were very well engineered to be pretty flawless in operation. The engineer in me was intrigued but very confused. “You offered a possible tour of the ship, and I admit that I am pretty interested in taking a look into this problem myself. Mind if I tag along?”

Echo shrugged. “Feel free to come with me to the dock at least. I’ll ask the captain if he will allow you to come aboard with me. No offence, but I’m not going to bring you in without permission.”

“I completely respect that. I’m not part of the crew and you can’t have just anyone getting into sensitive areas of the ship.”

“Well, come on, then. Salvage arm dock B-twenty is where the tugs are nosing it in.” 

The two of us quickly got up, dumped our trays into the recycler and set out from my room. It was a decently long walk as that particular area didn’t have a functioning transit lift and so required us to take a lift to the arm and then walk the length of it until we got to the correct docking port. By that time, Echo had sent a text-only message to the captain and obtained permission for me to come aboard as a guest. With that accomplished, we walked down the skybridge and stepped through the airlock. 

It was only my second time on board the Ratatosk, but my previous visit had been limited to the primary cargo bay. The proper interior of the ship maintained the utilitarian look of the cargo bay on a personnel scale, exactly what one might expect of a long range cargo ship. Just inside the airlock, though, a few decorations adorned the bulkheads. A large plate bearing the name of the ship was displayed proudly opposite the airlock along with a second plate displaying the stylized emblem of Erickson Enterprises. Flanking the two plates were graffiti-like signatures of what I presumed must have been the entire crew.

The corridors were almost empty of that crew, however, except for a couple of younger looking engineers that had a plate removed and were inspecting components under the sub flooring.

“Welcome aboard the Independent Cargo Vessel (ICV) Ratatosk, for all that's worth right now,” Echo said. “These aren’t really the best circumstances. I can show you more in a bit, but for now I need to meet up with the captain and the chief engineer in main engineering. This way.”