Slime Sweets and Dungeon Treats - A Cozy LitRPG

Chapter 9 - The Dungeon's Offer



Unlike the fast slide between floors 1 and 4, the door to the safe zone had opened to a stone stairway that seemed to go on forever. It felt like we'd been walking down for over an hour, but it was hard to tell since I hadn't seen any way to actually keep time in this dungeon. There were no clocks, no movement of the sun, nothing.

My legs were starting to feel the burn though, especially after all that running earlier. I just wanted to sit down, relax, and find somewhere safe to sleep. Maybe that's how I'd keep track of time. When I got tired, that would mean a day had passed.

"Think it's much further?" I called out to Fiona. The big boss slime was between us, filling every inch of the stone corridor, so I couldn't actually see her.

The soft plop plop of the boss slime hopping down the stairs was the only sound I could hear.

"Fiona?"

I waited, but no answer came. That was not a good sign. I clutched Jellybean to my chest. Fiona wouldn't have just left me, not without saying something. So why wasn't she answering?

The boss slime stopped abruptly and I face-planted into his jelly-like body. I bounced off, stumbling back a few steps.

"Sorry about that, you okay?" I asked, checking on the slime in my arms. He chirped and wiggled, perfectly fine. "Good, now what's up, Boss Slime?"

The squishing sound of it squeezing through another doorway made me let out a breath. We finally made it to the exit! How had three floors flown by in moments while one floor took ages? This dungeon should come with an instruction manual.

As the boss slime lurched through the doorway, I made my escape onto the next dungeon floor: the safe zone I'd been dreaming about ever since I heard the term. I wouldn't have to worry about monster chickens or three-headed snakes or anything else. I could finally relax after far too long of a day.

Except, instead of the picturesque medieval town I'd been imagining, it looked more like we'd stepped into an overgrown jungle. Large vines hung from the ceiling, swaying around me like snakes. The ground was uneven, made of weathered stones covered in moss. Humidity thickened the air, leaving small pools of water everywhere.

"Is this...the safe zone?" I asked, turning to where Fiona should be. Except instead of Fiona, Dave was standing there.

Of course that extra-long walk had something to do with him. I wouldn't be surprised if he was the reason I was here in the first place, like some sort of Game Master.

I turned to go right back up the stairs, but the door swung shut and disappeared. It reminded me far too much of when I first entered the dungeon and had turned back to ask Dave something, but there'd been nothing but a solid stone wall behind me.

"Whatever you're here for, I don't want it."

"You don't even know what I want yet," Dave said. "And you did take my lunch. I think you owe me."

"Calling that a lunch is pushing it," I said, staring at him. "Is something different about you?"

Were his horns smaller? Or maybe his hooves were trimmed? No, his light-brown fur was fluffier. While I'd been getting treed by crispy cluckers, he'd been getting his hair done.

Dave frowned at me. "I'm always the same, but that's not the point. You stole a floor boss."

I glanced sideways at the boss slime who was investigating what looked like a giant venus fly trap, nudging it curiously. One of its spiny heads opened, snapping at the slimes. The boss slime was far too large to eat, but Jellybean seemed very offended. He bounced at the venus fly trap, as if he was yelling at it.

Wait, was that a monster too? Were there plant monsters on this floor?

[Venus Flytrap: Level 9]

Level 9? A shiver went down my spine as I stepped away from it, making sure to steer clear of the hanging vines too. All I wanted was a place to sleep, so why was I here with Dave and those creepy monster plants?

Dave cleared his throat. "Are you even listening?"

"Yes, of course," I nodded as the monster gobbled up Jellybean. "No!"

I raced over, trying to pry its mouth open. This was the chicken and the slime all over again! Except this monster's spiny lips were sealed. The boss slime backed me up, leaping high and crashing down on most of the flytrap's heads. Even after that it wouldn't let the little one go, the damned overgrown houseplant.

"Don't you dare hurt Jellybean," I muttered. "He's my slime, not yours."

Another one of the flytrap's heads snapped at me, but I jumped out of the way. It thought it could hurt my friend, huh? Well I'd show it how wrong it was. I opened my item box, searching for something I could feed it that would be tastier than the slime, but I was woefully short on food and I wasn't sure how long it took for a plant to digest a slime...

"Uh, Hazel?" Dave asked, annoyance clear in his voice. "Back to the whole you stole a floor boss thing."

"Seriously?" I snapped at him, my arms tired from wrestling a plant who had zero manners. "Help me deal with this and then we can talk."

Dave sighed. "Fine, but then we're going to have a serious discussion."

He opened an invisible menu, pressed some buttons, and poof, the flytrap was gone. All that was left was the little blue slime I'd grown quite fond of, falling to the ground. It bounced and rolled onto his head, staring up at me with a silly upside-down smile.

I sank onto the ground, pulling him into my arms for a hug. Jellybean quivered against me, nuzzling close like I was his savior. That was actually Dave though.

"Thank you," I said. "I really appreciate your help."

"You are so strange." He shook his head at me. "I think I already know how this will end, but I have to bring it up anyway. The slimes are why you got stuck in the stairway for so long. They're monsters, so they can't enter a safe zone."

He paused there, giving me his best duh look. I had a feeling he wanted me to say ohhhhh of course, that makes total sense, but I didn't have a thing against monsters like he seemed to. So I just sat there, petting the slime until he stopped shaking.

Dave scratched the base of his horns. "Don't you get it? Your friend Fiona got into the safe zone just fine, but after her, the door shut again. The Dungeon will not allow any monsters into a safe zone. So if you stick with them, you're screwed."

I'd never be able to enter a safe zone...ever? I had a few ingredients to bake with, but this floor was way too high-leveled for me to search for more. If I stayed here, I'd probably be monster food in no time.

But even so...I couldn't just abandon these two slimes. Not after they'd decided to join me. I told them I'd protect them, so that's what I'd do.

"I'm not abandoning them," I said firmly. "So I guess I'm just screwed. Any advice?"

Dave sighed. "If you'd chosen an actual weapon instead of my lunch, maybe, but you keep making the most foolhardy choices. You can't survive here. Please, go to the safe zone. The slimes will be fine on their own."

Would they really? Neither of them were from this floor either, so they'd be at a disadvantage. Plus, adventurers would come to slay them for the XP soon enough. I hugged Jellybean tight and stood up.

"Thanks for the information," I said, brushing dirt off my uniform. "But I'm staying with the slimes."

Dave shook his head, sighing loudly and muttering something about the Dungeon always being right.

"Fine. I can offer you one thing that might help." The satyr held out an ornate black key. "This is the key for an old abandoned cafe at the edge of this floor. It's sort of like a safe zone with no fighting allowed, so if you can make it there, you'll stand a better chance of surviving."

My eyes widened. "There's a cafe here? Really?"

An hour ago I couldn't remember what a cafe was for sure, but now images flooded my mind of cute little cafes full of baked goods and smiling people. How could I have forgotten about that? Opening a cafe had been my dream for so many years and now Dave was just...giving me the key to one?

That seemed a little too good to be true.

"What's the catch?" I asked warily.

"You just have to run it, that's all. Now take the key before I change my mind."

I snatched the key up, which was warm like it had been resting near a fire. The feeling was oddly comforting, so I gripped it tight. It didn't matter if the cafe was rundown or beautiful, whatever this key led to was mine. My very own cafe.

The boss slime jumped up and plopped onto another venus flytrap monster, rocking back and forth without a care in the world. At least it was high enough level to survive here, but the little slime and me would have problems. We should really get going. Dave had said we'd be safe if we made it to the cafe. Which meant we probably had some ground to cover between now and then.

"So where is this fabled cafe you're giving me?" I asked.

"Straight ahead."

Okay, then that's where we'd go. "Ready for this, slimes?"

The boss slime lumbered closer as Jellybean chirped in my arms. But before we set off, Dave shouted.

"Wait!" He ran a hand across his face, wincing. "I almost forgot the most important part. That key is connected to the cafe's front door, so if you use it on another floor, that's where you'll go every time. It won't disappear like other dungeon keys after using it either, but you can only use it once a day."

Well that was useful. He'd basically given me a surefire way to go home no matter what danger I was in. My very own safety net. I hadn't realized he cared so much.

"Thanks, that's awesome," I said, once again feeling like there had to be some kind of catch here, but Dave just nodded.

"Oh and you can always go backwards," he added. "So if you do need to go to the safe zone, you can just turn around and go upstairs. Without the slimes, of course."

I groaned. "You waited until now to tell me that? Shouldn't that have been in your original tutorial?"

Dave shrugged. "Sometimes you need to learn things as you go. If I told you everything all at once, it would ruin the experience. Now hurry up and find the cafe."

[New Quest: Find the Cafe]

Find the cafe was like a magical phrase that erased all thoughts of sleep from my mind. My body moved with newfound energy as the slimes and I got ready to search the jungle floor for the mystical cafe that was going to be our new home.

I turned around, ready to set off on our great cafe adventure, but instead came face to face with a giant walking mushroom.

"Oh no," I said, shaking my head as I stepped back to stop Dave from walking through that oh so handy door of his, "not a chance. I don't do mushrooms. Their texture is just all wrong."

"It's not like you're going to eat it," Dave said, exasperation coloring his voice. "Make your slimes fight it."

The slimes tilted their bodies, as if asking if I wanted them to. But they were so cute and adorable, I couldn't make them fight for me.

"Or maybe you just take me to the cafe yourself?" I asked Dave, smiling sweetly.

Dave stared blankly at me as the mushroom inched closer on legs that should have been too small to carry its large body. Was it at least something my food could defeat?

[Walking Mushroom: Level 8]

Not so much. At least it was weaker than the flytrap from earlier. I pulled out my trusty weapon, [Dave's Lunch], and tossed pieces of the grilled cheese to the mushroom. The idea of food eating food was so trippy, but the mushroom just ignored it.

"Seriously?" Dave asked. "You're just going to toss my lunch on the ground right in front of me? How rude. So you're a thief and you litter."

Watching him get overwhelmed by every little thing was kind of amusing, but I was mainly just trying to distract the mushroom long enough for Dave to bring me to the cafe. Once I got there, I could spend a few days baking and leveling up my skills so I could handle myself on this floor. If I had to show him how weak and pathetic I was for now, with my poor little sandwich weapon, then that's what I'd do. Maybe he'd be open to a bargain...

"Well, I could make you a real lunch to make up for it," I said, circling the mushroom so it stayed just far enough away that it wouldn't do any damage, "but I'd need a real stove for that. Ingredients. Cooking utensils. The kinds of things you'd find at, oh I don't know, a cafe?"

Dave rolled his eyes. "Did you really think that would work?"

"I was hoping so," I said with a shrug. "Look, you're the one with all the safe zone rules that didn't let me rest and level up like everyone else gets to. So I feel like you can at least show me the way to the makeshift safe zone yourself. Be my knight in shining armor here."

The boss slime booped the mushroom, sending it flying a few feet. Its legs wiggled as it tried to stand back up, reminding me of a turtle stuck on its back. I would have smiled, if it wasn't a mushroom. But then it stood back up and ambled toward us again. Even though it was my least favorite food, I still didn't want to kill it.

"What do you say?" I asked Dave. "Let me make you the best meal you've ever had or watch me get killed by a silly walking mushroom?"

He paused for far too long, as if he really was debating it. "Will there be leftovers?"

"If that's what it'll take to let me through that door," I said, nodding at the exit, "then I'll make so many leftovers you'll fill your item box."

"I don't need that many, just one extra meal." He closed the door, sorted through his keys, and summoned another door. "Now let's get going before I have to watch you rolling around with this mushroom any longer. I am a busy person, you know."

I grinned as Dave not only opened the door, but held it open for both slimes to bounce through. He really was kind of nice, once you got past the annoyed glances and sighs.

"You know, if you've got a wife, girlfriend, or boyfriend," I said, stepping through the door, "you can just bring them to the cafe with you. You don't need to take food home for them."

"It's not like that," he said, but he slammed the door shut a little too hard. "I just have a colleague who's been interested in your food."

"Really?" I asked, doubting anyone had actually heard about my baking skills yet. "It's fine if you just want more food for yourself. That's kind of sweet actually, you assuming my food will be that good."

"Just get moving," he said, nudging me to follow the slimes.

I laughed and did as he wanted, moving through the stone corridor with ease since it didn't have any stairs this time.

"Wait, how are the slimes going to open the door to get us out?"

"The doors can open themselves," he said, as if that should have been obvious. "Maybe I do need to add more to the initial tutorial..."

It kind of felt like he just called me dumb, but I was going to let that slide. He was doing me a pretty big favor here in keeping my hands mushroom free. Just like he said, the door opened itself and the boss slime squeezed out.

Anticipation thrummed through me. What would the cafe be like? Would it be big and airy, maybe part of the landscape like built into a tree? Or would it be more like an abandoned ruin, all stone and moss? This was a dungeon after all, so I expected something fantastical.

But when we stepped outside the life-saving dungeon corridor, all I saw was a tiny wooden shed with a sign that said, "cafe name here".

"Uhhh....Dave?" I asked, trying not to let my disappointment show on my face. "Are you sure this is the right place?"

"Of course it is," he muttered. "Do you really think I'd get lost?"

But his eyes had widened when he saw the cafe shed. He glanced around slowly, forcing an awkward smile on his face. "Welcome to the cafe. I'll be back for my reward later."

"Wait!"

But he was already gone, slipping into another door like some kind of magician. He had definitely expected something different, it wasn't my imagination. The way he'd built it up made it feel like some mystical fairy cafe, not a broom closet.

I took the coal black key out of my pocket and lifted it to the lock in the door. It fit perfectly, turning without a single bit of resistance. There was no mistaking it then: this was the cafe.

I said I'd be fine with it no matter the state, but seriously? I doubted we could all fit inside, let alone fit a kitchen and room for guests. But if Dave had been right about monsters not being able to fight here, then it was still worth staying the night at. Especially with how long the day had been.

"Well slimes, let's head in and get some sleep," I said, swinging the creaky door open as I covered up a yawn. "We can figure out the rest tomorrow."

The slimes hopped inside, smooshing into all the dark corners of the room. There weren't any windows and we didn't have a lantern, so it was going to be a bit of a dark night. The slimes shifted a bit, making a hole in between them. I smiled, ignoring my unease and just going with the flow. This was a safe zone after all and these slimes obviously wanted me to join them.

I snuggled up between them, surprisingly comfortable against their dough-like bodies. We had a roof over our heads and we were safe. That's all I could ask for right now.

[Quest Completed: Find the Cafe]

I flinched as the bright message box seared my vision. I was far too tired to deal with any more system messages right now. I waved my hand, feeling like I might have just swiped a box on accident, but my eyelids were too heavy to double check.

So much had happened since I woke up in that meadow. I'd befriended adorable slimes, got chased by terrifying monsters, met a great new friend, and got my own cafe. All that in one day was pretty overwhelming honestly, but I was sleepily excited to see what tomorrow would bring.

This dungeon might be terrifying, but it was also full of some wonderful things.


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