Slime Girl

 

- Shari -

 

Seems like Dion has business with us.

 

"Can I enter?" (Dion)

"Uhh, yes." (Shari)

 

I quickly rearrange one of the curtains to hide the hole in the wall behind it.

 

"You're going to cover that hole on your side too, as soon as you can. Not now!" (Shari)

 

The next moment Dion enters.

 

"What is it? As you wished we were perfectly calm tonight." (Shari)

 

I am so glad that I can't show any exposing signs.
My face can't redden and this body won't tremble or show any sign of discomfort while lying.
I've even heard once that the eyes can be revealing.
Well, I have just borderless, blank surfaces of liquid.

 

"Right. I've heard there was an incident with the maid yesterday." (Dion)

 

Ah yes, yesterday the maid ran away screaming.

 

"I guess she was a little startled because of us. In any case, I'll admit, it was only Liqu's fault." (Shari)

"I've just said hello." (Liqu)

 

I already know where this is going.

 

"How did you say hello?" (Shari)

"I've waited behind the entrance and directly smiled at her while extending my hand to shake hers." (Liqu)

 

So you surprised the maid, gave her that creepy slime smile, and threatened to touch her, which any sane human, would take as an implication that you are going to dissolve the appendage in contact.

Great!

 

"Because of that incident, it became quite difficult to find servants willing to attend to your "needs"." (Dion)

"I never said you have to." (Shari)

"The count decided that you won't be able to effectively perform your duties if you are occupied in other ways. Also, a second-rank officer is an important position. The count isn't so petty to neglect someone he personally took in like this." (Dion)

 

I guess this is also done so that he has some supervision over us.
If people start screaming, he knows that he should run.

 

"If it's like this, I would like to request that the maid from today will be exclusively assigned to us. It worked rather well with that one. I think her name was Elara." (Shari)

 

No idea if she actually agreed, but that's her problem now, not mine.

 

"Elara? I will inform the head maid about this." (Dion)

 

I need to say that he's a professional.
One can clearly see that he isn't the slightest bit at ease in our presence, but he perfectly covers it.
And even maintains a polite smile.
That's impressive body control.

 

"If you would accompany me now to the lord." (Dion)

"Yes sure. I will..." (Shari)

 

Oh, goddamnit!

 

"Is something the matter?" (Dion)

"I, I, I..." (Shari)

"Yes?" (Dion)

 

Without uttering another word I turn around, walk to the tub, and take my clothes.
I was naked the whole time!

My sense of shame got totally screwed.
I mean, yes there is nothing to look at with this body.
Just that amorphous mass I consist of.
Nonetheless, I should at least always be dressed in front of others if I’m able to.
The shirt is totally soaked, as well as the pants.
Yet they're available and I don't want to rummage through my stash.

The cloak is as well in dire need of extensive cleaning.
Yet I feel more comfortable in it, as this does at least block some of the stares.
Also, dressing up makes me appear more professional and this is recommended for negotiating our employment contract.

 

"Ah... right." (Dion)

 

Seems like he got it.

 

"Shall we wait for Liqu to dress up as well?" (Shari)

"No, no. That won't be necessary. I wouldn't want to keep the Lord waiting." (Dion)

 

Seems like there will be at least one slime drawing attention.
Also, it's not hard to perceive that he's very loyal and mindful of his boss.
I just hope no one expects this level of consideration from Liqu.
He guides us through the door and up the stairway, which leads out of this basement floor.
There are some guards behind the door, who yesterday weren't there, but I believe no one expects that they do more than announce that we are heading out.
It's not like they could do anything else.

When we pass by they both take a huge step away from the entrance to get as much distance from us as they can appropriately have without appearing incompetent.
The hall is still spacious and the morning sun gets reflected in all too well-cleaned stone surfaces.
From the floor to the stair-railing, everything's sparkling.

Some of the servants gasp and scurry away as soon they become aware of us.
Dion is visibly invested in that, probably contemplating how this shall work out.
He leads us up another stairway to the second floor.
I expect that the lord has here his office.

While on the ground floor are more the official places and facilities, like the kitchen and a ballroom, this one seems to contain the more private areas.
So having his workplace here is logical, as it's also much calmer.
After some steps, we meet Elin in front of a door winged by two guards.
It makes sense that she should be present to sign a contract that concerns her.

 

"There you are! I was waiting here like forever." (Elin)

 

I guess, different from us, they have no problem with keeping her waiting.

 

"So, shall we enter?" (Shari)

"Yes, please follow me." (Dion)

 

We move inside and I find myself in a room filled with documents and so many books on the shelves that one might think it's a library.
If not for the desk with the writing tools on the other end.
The count sits there, illuminated by a large glass window behind him, leaning over some documents.
He isn't looking up, even if he certainly has noticed our approach.

Since it wouldn't be appropriate, I don't say anything.
This man is still a noble and if I show that I know basic etiquette this might support my point that we can be suitable contract partners.
Elin is also not the type of person to draw attention to herself.
However...

 

"This is boooring." (Liqu)

"Liqu! We had a rule regarding negotiations." (Shari)

 

 

And that was that you don't talk.
Ever.

 

"But he’s not saying anything! Why are we even here then?" (Liqu)

 

Because it's a test!
And you failed!

Not that I can explain such a thing further in this situation.
Still, the count got triggered to react.

 

"You came." (Radon)

 

Seriously?
That's how he starts?

 

I mean, he was the one calling us.
But fine, I'll play this game.

 

"It seems so." (Shari)

"I've heard your comrade took the dungeon. You are aware that I might need this place in the future? At that time, it will pose a problem if it's occupied." (Radon)

 

I guess he addresses me and not Liqu because he already knows which of the two of us has enough common sense to react appropriately.
Also, I have some control over her.
Honestly, it sounds ridiculous if they later have to tell the prisoners that they can't torture them because the slime monster refuses to leave the room.

 

"If there's no other way, she'll have no other choice but to leave. On the other side, this could actually help. If you want to interrogate someone then being locked in that room with Liqu might just do the trick." (Shari)

"Hah." (Radon)

 

I see a smirk showing on his face.
My socializing skills work to a degree.

 

"If nothing else hinders this anymore, I would like to tackle the formalities of our employment." (Shari)

"The contract is here. You just need to sign." (Radon)

 

He procures a rather big sheet of parchment.
In the document, I find all the conditions we spoke about.

 

In short, it reads as follows:

Liqu and I are now soldiers of Count Kahan.
He even noted the part about us being officers, which I absolutely can't understand.
As such, we are officially aligned with him and within the limits of his jurisdiction practically untouchable.
Also, we will be provided with enough resources so we can make a living.
This is quite a lot since the local lords are practically the sole authority in terms of laws and such in his realm.
At least we can be sure that no adventurers will raid this place.

Also, we are provided with any necessities we wish for.
But naturally, we have to do what he says in exchange.
He didn't write down that we should abstain from conducting unnecessary man-slaughter, but who would?

Mostly it looks like a completely normal employment contract to me.
Not that I've ever seen one, much less signed such a thing with a lord.
A problem might be that it doesn't explicitly point out that Liqu and I are slimes.
In fact, it bothers me a great deal that I have no idea how we should enforce this contract.
There might be a place this document will be sent to, but mostly I think we are dependant on his goodwill.

In the end, even with the present people here acting as witnesses, he not only holds greater political power than we do, but there's the worry that he can simply say that a contract with monsters is absurd and like this null and void.
Yet obviously I can't voice these concerns here.
That would decrease the little favorability I have gained.
The signature of Count Kahan is already on it.
As one might estimate, it looks very fancy with all those curves and lines as if he was about to paint a picture there.

I just proceed by taking the ink-feather and writing my name on the parchment.
This gets heavily complicated by the fact that I have to make sure not to touch the document directly.
I haven't put my gloves on as with them I lack the feel to write my name properly.
My adventurer subscription didn't look too good, but this right now is important.
Yet I think I do fine.

Still, I get a stare from Dion.
But it might be just about the fact that I can write in the first place.
Liqu is next in line and I realize that I should at least this time have taught her how to write her name.
Or at least how to use writing tools.
She stares at the document.

 

"Liqu, like in the guild. Here is the place you have to sign." (Shari)

 

I point at it, without touching the surface, and she gets out of her daze.
Directly she puts her finger in the ink container, pulls it out, together with a residue, and aligns it together with some slime to the same drop-symbol she already used at the guild.
Maybe a bit prettier now.

Everyone is a little dumbfounded, but at least no one can say it's not Liqu's sign.
It's literally her own body that got spread on that parchment.
The last one is Elin, who got a job as well.
She’s part of our group now, somehow, and included because of that.
To my surprise, she can write her name without a problem.
It seems uncommon for that little criminal.
On the other side, this could be a remnant from her life before it turned shitty.

 

"So, we work now for you, my lord?" (Shari)

 

I have no idea what the proper manners in this situation are, but I felt ought to say something, as the silence became uncomfortable.

 

"Right. The formalities will be resolved. Dion will take care of that. Now that this is concluded, I want you to meet up with Peras in two hours to start your appointment." (Radon)

 

I have no idea what kind of formalities there are left to handle, but this is something I can discuss with Dion.
However, I am far more concerned about Peras.

 

"Will it work out? In my opinion Peras wasn't really fond of us." (Shari)

"He has his orders and won't do anything unnecessary. I can be certain of his loyalty. Something your side has yet to prove." (Radon)

"Then we will. I beg your leave, my lord." (Shari)

 

Without anything else to say, I wait until he nods in agreement and then leave the room.
Stepping through the door I would really love to breathe in to give credit to my decreasing tension, which gets impeded by my inability to do so.

We've got the job!
We are employed!

I never worked for a noble, but I guess our accommodations are good enough and he doesn't seem to show too much bias.
There's but one thing I should have confirmed before signing this contract:

Do we even get paid?