Chapter 20 : The various uses of goons
James approached the two persons that he had saved by killing the Titaroach and the Matoador. On the left was a tall lanky man wearing a beige sleeveless vest and pants with a pale red shirt, the jacket looking quite similar to what a hobbyist fisherman may put on for an afternoon on the lake. He had long black greasy unkempt hair, reaching slightly below his shoulders, as well as a small goatee on his chin. Around his neck was a small red headscarf with white patterns.
On the right was a shorter and broader man, wearing an old aviator's jacket with brown leather pants and a dark red shirt. A pair of large goggles rested upon his bald head, making his black and greasy muttonchops all the more prominent.
And the two of them were currently hugging each other while looking at James, for some reason.
He took a deep breath. This situation could quickly get out of hand, what was the best way to handle it? Obviously being upfront about his status as a reincarnated person desperate for a chance at a normal life was an idiotic choice. Even without considering the Supers around, there would probably have been many scientists on good old Earth who would have gladly jumped on the opportunity to study the soul and its link to death without his consent, so here? With actual mad scientists trying to take over the world? Nope. No way. Hell, there probably was some kind of insane experiment about creating an eldritch monster feeding on souls and spreading death going on somewhere right now.
That last thought seemed weirdly specific. Let's just ignore that for now, for my own sanity.
But yes, now was not a moment of truth but lies. Deceit was the keyword here, the question was what to say and do exactly. Pretend to be some kind of governmental agent, here to clean up the local vermin population? Not bad, though he had no permit to show or any idea how the politics of this country or even this city worked. New Hero in training? Same issue, he had no idea of the logistics of this kind of thing, especially since Heroes were apparently an actual police force instead of the usual vigilantes that he knew of.
Wait, that was it! He could pretend to be a Vigilante! No rules to follow, he was just a local law-breaker aiming to help the community by cleaning up a monster infestation. That was the perfect cover-up. All he had to do was take on a deeper and more mature voice than normal and he'd be set-
"PLEASE DON'T KILL US MISTER VAMPIRE SIR!"
"SHUT UP LARRY!"
...Uh. I hadn't thought of the vampire route. It could work, they'd be too afraid to give any info on me to anyone that matters and even feel thankful and indebted to me if I "spared" them. Yes, let's roll with scary sewer vampire for now. Let's start off by setting the mood.
"Silence, the both of you."
James twisted the surrounding shadows, darkening the surrounding sewer walls and spreading to the floor. His little trick seemed to have worked, judging by the duo's gulps and their pale faces.
"Now then, what to do with you... Larry and Barry, if I recall correctly?"
""Y-yes sir!""
"Very well. You see, Larry and Barry, your presence here was... Unexpected. And while I can appreciate a pleasant surprise as anyone could, you are not one of those. You are a surprise, of that there is no doubt, but it is far from pleasant. Far from it, truly."
Sweat began to form in abundant amounts on the two ruffians' faces, giving their skin a small luster and cleaning off some of the grime that they had gathered following their stay in the tunnels.
"My existence, as well as my activities, are supposed to be kept secret, no one should be aware of me or what I do as of now, which means that you witnessing this little scuffle is problematic and goes against what I've worked for so far."
I mean, it isn't that far off from the truth. It's pretty spot on actually.
"We're very sorry if we're making problems sir. Very, very sorry."
"Oh, do not be mistaken, this little issue will be solved, this I know. The only thing that is still uncertain is whether or not the solution I reach will be beneficial to you, or in the worst case, detrimental."
"H-how detrimental, exactly?"
"There is no need to ponder about the ramifications of something none of us want, is there?"
I hope I'm nailing the pompous talk, I have absolutely no idea how people like this should talk apart from books, movies, and series.
"Y-you're right, sir!"
"I know. Now then, I am quite curious why the two of you, who seem like perfectly regular humans, thought that wandering these tunnels would be a good idea. You are so fragile compared to the locals, and I'm not even talking about this pair. They proved to be a hassle, hence their untimely demise, you see?"
Barry gulped as he took in James' words.
"I-I think we understand, sir."
"I'm not sure I do Barry-"
"I'll explain later, Larry. Don't worry."
"Okie Dokie."
James may not have been able to read minds but even he could clearly see how astonished Barry was that his companion calmed down so quickly. It reminded him a little bit of that Jimmy he had seen among the Blood Angels in a way, and he didn't know how if he should be thankful that apparently, the people living around him were less intelligent than average or worried that this entire world lacked some kind of common sense.
"But as for why we're here... We actually got lost and-"
He's lying, but why? Oh, maybe...
"Ah, I know: you were searching for treasures, weren't you? I remember there was that small silver spider that passed by not so long ago, carrying an impressive amount of various items. Were you looking for it, perchance?"
"A silver spider?"
"A Snatcher!"
Larry's little outburst surprised both his partner and James, the later of the two being very glad that his performance so far had been preserved by his lack of a face and his body's tendency to stay still without direct input. The list of perks of not having muscles and a nervous system was steadily growing.
While James had an internal monologue on the boons of having a non-human body, Barry had begun to hug Larry tighter and rub him tenderly, clearly trying to comfort the taller - and currently heavily crying - man.
"Calm down Larry, he said 'small', it's probably a Scavenger. It's ok."
"A-are you sure?"
"Yes, I'm sure."
The two stopped their hug, Larry cleaning off his tears with a swipe of his sleeve while Barry bowed slightly to James who felt pretty uncomfortable in this situation.
"Sorry sir, Larry just had a bad time with those things when we were kids."
"You are forgiven, trauma is nothing to scoff at or ignore. Though, I must admit that I'm intrigued, what are those 'Scavengers' and-"
Seeing Barry quickly shaking his head while making a shooing motion, James quickly got the idea.
"-those other things?"
"I'm surprised someone like you wouldn't know, sir."
Ah. The trauma talk threw me off. Quick, an excuse as to why I don't know much- I know! The truth!
"I'm not from these parts, you see. Oh, I do know those spiders are supposedly creations of an individual who calls herself the Empress, but not much else."
"Oooh, a foreigner! What is it like outside?"
"Not now, Larry, we'll ask later. Well, sir, those are names people came up with. We know her goons call them Harvesters but honestly, there are so many different types it gets hard to remember which is which."
"Hence the new names?"
"Yup. Scavengers are small and mostly dig in trash piles, kill small stuff and steal money. The, uhm, other ones I mentioned are known to... How do I put it..."
While Barry was struggling to find a way to say what he wanted to without disturbing his partner, Larry simply filled in the blank.
"They take people."
The neutral tone of his voice was much lower and serious than until now. It was unsettling to James to see the man that had so far been either cowardly shaking in his boots or stereotypically stupid and careless be so... Real.
"Yeah... That..."
"And police do nothing? What about Heroes?"
"Bah! No blue idiot or spandex fan cares about the slums. They're leaving us here to die. The only ones who try to help are Vigilantes, and they're either worse than Villains or too weak to do anything."
"I see..."
Technically it means I shouldn't be worried about the authorities going after me but... It's just sad. How can they just ignore an entire part of the city and let it rot away?
"Well, thank you for this information. Now, you didn't answer my last question..."
"Ah, uh, yes, we were looking for good stuff to take. Sorry if we walked into your territory."
...Uh. I guess it is my territory, in a way. Never thought I'd rule over a small part of the sewers on another world, then again, who does?
"It is no trouble. Onto one last thing, what is it you two do?"
"Uh, I told you, we were looking for-"
"No, I mean as in your occupation. What it is you spend your days doing to gain enough to live."
"Ah. Uh, well, thing is..."
Barry looked at James and pondered about what was the best answer to give. The thing had been fairly polite all things considered, and apart from the constant worry that he could be killed any second for giving an answer that would anger it, everything had gone pretty well. What would it like to hear? That they were part of a gang or working for a Villain? No, it hadn't seemed that impressed with the Empress, maybe it didn't like criminals. That they were scouts for a Vigilante? No, he had already made it pretty clear he disliked them, going back on his words would be suspicious and it would catch the lie immediately.
Would it even accept a lie? Barry didn't know anything about their savior's powers, maybe they could feel it whether people lied or not. But the truth was... Well, it wasn't much. It wasn't good. It was...
"We're scammers, sir."
Barry's eyes opened wide and he turned around just in time to catch the last syllable leaving Larry's mouth. He was about to blow up and tell his companion to shut up when James began to speak.
"Scammer?"
"Yes sir. We look for stuff that looks neat and then sell it for a bunch to people who don't know any better. The rest of the time we haggle or steal small stuff that nobody cares about enough to go after us."
"And it works? Considering what you said, you don't appear to visit the slums often, haven't the people here caught onto the trick? And haven't they grown tired of your shenanigans and gone after you?"
"Oh, many did. It's why we're down here, we hoped we could find enough to pay the people that keep us in to let us go to the rest of the city, so we could start over there. It'd be better than staying here."
"I see..."
For Barry, that was it. They were going to die. Now that this thing knew they were thieves and nobodies, even in the slums, it wouldn't see any use in letting them go, in fact, maybe it would try to turn their corpses in to get a reward of some sort - not that there was one, no one cared enough about the two to pay to be rid of them.
"Well then, thank you for your cooperation. Now-"
"PLEASE DON'T KILL US!"
James looked at the panting Barry that had just interrupted him, sweat falling from his forehead like a waterfall, the man already flinching, ready to be hit after daring to interrupt him.
"We-We can be useful. You said you wanted to lay low, right? That means you can't go up. We could be your guys up there, giving you info on what's happening!"
"A very tempting offer but I do have a phone and an Internet connection. As I was saying-"
"BUT! But your phone won't give any useful info here, no one talks about what's happening in the sewers except the people who live there! A-And we could buy stuff for you, too!"
"But we don't have any money-"
"SHUT UP LARRY! But yeah, you see? We are super useful, so don't kill us please, and let us become your goons!"
James looked silently at the two men, checking them from head to toe again, letting long and stressful seconds pass without saying anything. Larry didn't seem that concerned but Barry was somehow sweating even more than before and his face got paler and paler.
...I'm not fond of the anger issue and the lack of basic comprehension, but they do bring up a good point: I could use the help of someone who knows about the local politics and who could buy stuff for me on the surface.
James allowed the silence to last a little longer before finally giving them an answer.
"I would like to begin by saying I had no intention of killing you. Our little chat gave me ample time to realize you were not threats, and despite your less than savory way of life you both were good people, at least good enough that I could trust to stay silent about me with a little bribe."
"Oh thanks sir!"
Barry wasn't quite as optimistic as Larry, gulping as he noticed James' use of the past tense. Both of them missed how the shadows moved behind James, around the place he and the two beasts he had killed had burst through the wall, and how small little furballs were looking at those shifting shadows before one left.
"As for your proposition... Do you even know what I plan on doing?"
"Well... Uhm... If you're staying down here, I'd say Vigilante or Villain stuff?"
"You asked to work for me while being unsure of what I did, your only guesses being two vastly different occupations, with one trying to do 'good' and the other 'evil'?"
"I mean, good and evil are pretty subjective so-"
"Yes, but that is not the point. The point is I could either order you to go kill orphans or teach them how to read and you would be fine with both?"
"I... No."
"Good. Which one?"
"Sorry?"
"Which one would you do?"
"I... Honestly, neither. Maybe helping the kids, but I don't care all that much about them. I just want to survive."
"A disappointing but acceptable answer. And you, Larry?"
"Oh, I love spending time with kids! But I can't teach them how to read, I can't."
"An issue we will have to solve in time. In conclusion, you are not the perfect choices but ones I am willing to make."
"Uh?"
"You are hired."
Suddenly a small light grey rat jumped onto James' body and began to climb, its claws digging into his shadowy flesh until it reached his shoulder. Barry and Larry noticed it had been carrying something in its mouth, something it dropped into James' awaiting tentacle.
"Thank you, Lucille. You two, as you are now officially in my employ, there are a few problems we need to deal with. First off, here is a little bonus, to welcome you."
James extended his tentacle toward Barry, hanging in the air for a few seconds as the small man gathered the courage to touch it to take the item James was giving him, only for his eyes to widen as he finally got a proper look at the thing: a 500 Xerins ticket.
"Again, think of it as a welcoming gift. Use it to clean up your debts, buy some proper equipment, and the likes. If you are going to be working for me, I need respectable minions, are we clear?"
""Yes sir!""
"Good. Now, show me from where you came, we'll define this entrance as our current meet-up point. Come back tomorrow so that you may fill me in on everything I need to know about the current events of the slums, and then come report whenever something important happens. If you do a good enough job I may reward you with your own enhanced phone."
"Enhanced?"
"That'll be awesome, sir!"
"Yes, yes, now let us get going. You probably don't want to still be present once the tunnels go back to normal, unless you wish to meet with giant spiders for some reason."
"R-Right away sir!"
"By the way sir, what's your name?"
"Ah, there is no need for you to bother yourselves with my name yet, is there?"
And I have absolutely no idea of a good alias right now.
"R-Right, sir."
"This is going to be so awesome Barry!"
And so James earned his first two legitimate minions, without having any idea of how many would follow in the future or even what would happen to this weird duo that he met and saved by chance.