Epilogue of the Maid: Fire Coming Out of the Monkey’s Head (End)
Good morning, it's me, the person who enjoys kicking down doors the second most in this relationship, Madeleine here. Mel really likes kicking doors down, which is something she's picked up with the amount of door-kicking we've been doing. We've interrupted weddings, funerals, court cases, sex scenes, talent shows, and museum showcases about trains. However, what makes today's door-kicking special is whose house we're breaking into. The house of the nine hundred and ninety-ninth Sacred Power holder.
Yes, you heard that right. Nine hundred and ninety-nine. That's the number after nine hundred and ninety-eight. I'm excited, you know. There's a been a lot of crazy Sacred Powers that have led to just absolutely insane situations that I couldn't help but revel in. My favourite event was when Mel, me, and many other Mendass natives were sent to Earth because mom needed to do some maintenance on Mendass (It may or may not be my fault), so Mel and I had a honeymoon around the world.
Speaking of honeymoons, you guys missed out on my wedding! I had to write an invite in my mind and somehow send it to you guys, and not even an RSVP (Whatever that means, I don't know, Mel made it up)? Whatever, I'll just tell you guys what happened. Mel and I got married, and then there was a feast, and that was it. There was an incident involving an undead giant rock lobster, a Shadow Clone pregnancy, and apparently a Divine orgy, but other than those things (Plus some more), it was a normal wedding. You should've seen Mel's suit… I can still remember it like it was yesterday.
"Madeleine, stop having flashbacks. I want to kick down this door." Mel is just itching to kick the door down, but she's currently being held back by Merry. I'm surprised Merry is still with us, considering I did kill off her entire demon army, but that was five years ago, so I think I'm forgiven. She's honestly the only one who has stuck around with Mel and me for some reason. The others either settled down or rudely disappeared. I'm glaring at Merida and Speedy for that one.
"Just wait, Mel. I'm catching up with old friends!" Where was I? Oh yeah, my favourite Shadow Clones. I've gotten many new ones… except I'd have to go into their backstories, which would take some time… maybe I can explain what they do. One of my new Shadow Clones can… make sandwiches. That's it. Mel really likes that one.
"Really fucking good sandwiches. Throw me one, Madeleine. I'm a bit hungry now." I took out a dagger with a sandwich on it and passed it to Mel. I don't actually have to put it on a dagger, but old habits die hard. Seriously though, old habits die hard. There was this one time when my old habit of saying my thoughts out loud manifested as an elf and then proceeded to brawl with Mel. Mel came out on top and was about to spare it when it got snatched by a dragon which got shot down by Maxine, who used a lightning bolt that was infused with draconic flame, holy water, and dirt from God Mountain. We have no idea how it manifested in the first place.
"Knock knock. Anybody home?" Anyways, I have just knocked on the door of the last Sacred Power holder. Yeah, I know I said Mel and I were going to kick it down, but we need their permission first, you know. Consent is important, kids. I don't want a repeat of that time Mel and I kicked down the door to Melina's house, only to see her kissing a future version of Myka. That was the day I learnt what they were doing in Paris… I meant Las Vegas. I have no idea how I got those two mixed up.
"Looks like no one's home, Madeleine. I'm kicking it down." Mel flipped Merry over her shoulders, and before I could attempt to stop her, she immediately kicked down the door, only to quickly step out of the doorway, and a massive burst of fire shot out of the door. Ahh… that's hot.
A moment later and the fire finally subsided, and so Mel and I (Merry was knocked out on the ground) peeked in, seeing a charred house with walls so black that you could mistake it for the abyss, with a singular monkey standing in the middle of all this destruction. Mmm… monkey.
"Madeleine… we are not fighting a monkey again."
"But monkeys are evil! Not as evil as cats, but still evil! We can't trust it!"
"The last three monkeys only attacked us because we attacked them!"
"One of them was a serial killer, one was a cultist, and the last one sang country music!"
"Well, I don't want to fight a fourth monkey."
"I do." I stepped through the door, making my way towards the monkey, when I saw its mouth open up and a bright orange ball flare up inside it. Oh shit. I quickly rolled outside the door, getting pulled to the side by Mel, narrowly avoiding the burst of flame. "I have decided I do not want to fight a fourth monkey."
"Good, good… how are we going to get its Side Note, though?"
"Hmm… shoot a boxing glove arrow at it, obviously."
"Aye aye, captain!"
"Hey, that's my thing!"
Mel took out her bow and waited for the fire to finish. As soon as it did, she created a boxing glove arrow out of light, rolled from one side of the door to the other, shooting the arrow in the middle of this, and landed with grace on the other side. While she posed and patted herself on the shoulder, I peeked inside and saw a knocked-out monkey. I skipped over to its unconscious body and opened its eyes, staring into it. Such a primal shade of blue.
Fire Breathing You can breathe fire. Side Note: It's a hot power. |
…
Seriously? Is that really the last Sacred Power I needed?
…
I'm kind of disappointed… but at least I'll see the surprise I'm supposed to get once I collect all nine hundred and ninety-nine of these Side Notes… where is it? Huh? When did this letter get into my hand? I'm reading it!
Dear Side Note, it's me, the Creator! Hey look, it's my mom! Hi mom! If you're reading this letter, it means you've gotten all 999 Side Notes. Congratulations! Thanks, mom! Now, there's a secret about Side Note that I will share with you… Oh my god… what could it be? Is it a secret ability? Can it make me see things others can't see (Besides the Side Notes)? I can't wait to see the secret. The secret is that… only a child of mine can have Side Note! I'm actually your mother!
…
Seriously?
Chapter namesake: Fire Coming out of the Monkey's Head by Gorillaz