Side Note

"And that's how I fought on a living table."

"Living table? What were you going on about? I wasn't listening."

We are currently still walking. I thought it'd be dark soon, but it feels like the sun is conveniently not setting, allowing me to talk more random bullshit with Mel. She's still an elf, which is great. I've always wanted to know what elves taste like.

"What the actual fuck?"

"Elves are good looking, and good looking things surely are tasty, right?"

"Vampires are good looking. Would you eat them?"

"Yes."

"You disgust me."

"I know I do." I've gotten used to our back and forth dynamic. Sure, her words are a bit mean sometimes, but I like that. I really like that. 

"I'm going to ignore that to ask something."

"What is it, my love?"

"I'm going to ignore that too. What's your name?"

"Hmm… Periwinkle Olertia Jubilee Laith Kackian."

"That doesn't sound like a real name."

"It does to me."

"So, what really is your name?"

"I have no idea."

"What do you mean you have no idea?"

"Sometimes in life, you get hit in the head with a massive club by a massive orc, and instead of dying, you lose all memories."

"Holy shit. That's… that's terrible."

"It's also a lie."

"Give back my sympathy."

"In reality, I'm just another unnamed orphan."

"You can have my sympathy back."

Suddenly, we heard a huge explosion from nearby in the forest. We ran towards the sound, wondering what it was, before coming across a wooden cabin, with a man next to it completely covered in ash. 

"Hello there."

"What happened?"

"Nothing!" The ash that was covering him from head to toe disappeared as if it never existed. "It was merely a test of my great power!"

Mel gave the man a side glance, clearly thinking he was insane. "Okay then. So what's this cabin, then?"

"This be the greatest place to purchase tables from!"

"A table shop…."

"Yes, a table shop. Go right in. The master is currently free."

"We don't need a table."

"Can we get a table anyways?"

"Not now, maid."

"Hah! A maid named maid, is it?"

"No, she isn't."

"I'm alright with being named maid. Any name you could give me would be superb, my lady!"

"She does not have a name? How heartless of a master could you be?!"

"Argh, can you two shut up! Maid, we're going to get that stupid table you want, then we're going as far away as possible from this idiot."

"Aye aye, mastah~."

"Haa…" She sighed, then dragged me by the hand into the shop. The man outside gave me a wink and mouthed good luck, and so in response, I waved. That's what you do, right? Mel opened the door, and we heard a little bell jingle. Ooh, I love those bell jingles. Makes me miss the shops down at Hamblin.

"Greetings customers, welcome to Jack's Table Galore, the best place to get a table for any occasion. From noble banquets to simple day-to-day home dinners, I can provide. What tables do you two fine ladies need today?" Looking around, there weren't that many tables in this table shop. In fact, there were no tables. Where are all the tables? "Sensible question there, maid. Let me demonstrate why there is no need for me to showcase tables."

I turned to look towards the shop owner. He was… your typical ultra buff lumberjack with a friendly smile. Boring. He did have his eyes closed for some odd reason. He vaulted over the counter, then snapped his fingers. A small round coffee table suddenly appeared in front of Mel and me.

"Look Mel, a table! It came out of nowhere!"

"I can see, I can see! Stop tugging on my arm!"

"Someone sure is excited. Do you understand now why I don't showcase tables?"

"No, not really."

The two just stared at me silently. "What? I still don't get it."

"Don't mind her, shop owner. I assume these tables you make appear out of nowhere are customizable, right?"

"Very customizable, but it does come with an extra price."

"What would that be?"

"I want you to knock out my roommate, who is outside."

"Eh?"

"If you can do that, you'll get the table of your dreams."

"Do it Mel, do it for me!"

"Why am I doing this?" She promptly walked outside and proceeded to have a fight with the man outside, leaving me behind with the shop owner. Hmm… what to do?

"I know what you can do." I looked in front of me to find the shop owner right in my face. This would be an opportune time to look at his eyes, but they're still closed. "We can play a game."

"What… kind of game?"

"A special game." He took a step back before suddenly opening his eyes, revealing a dark orange. "A staring contest!"

"I'm in!" I stared directly into his eyes.

Not now, Sacred Power, I'm in the middle of something.

---

Character profile: Jack.

Sacred power: Table.

Favourite table shape: Trapezoid.

Description: The table craftsman in the middle of nowhere, he has worldwide acclaim, being able to create the exact table for your needs. He has created tables for royalty across the world, and many of his tables are considered treasures. Due to his reputation, location, and the fact he is clearly a Sacred Power holder, he is on the shortlist of beings who cannot be touched by any country. To ensure their safety, the list itself names the people by a codename instead of their real name. Jack's codename is Roundtable. 

Chapter namesake: From Nowhere by Dan Croll.