Side Note

We successfully escaped the castle and are now walking through the thick forest surrounding it. Fortunately, boss and her harem were busy with yet another one of their marathons, and the sole servant was busy ogling the ranger. The whole castle was distracted, so it was relatively easy to escape. By the way, I was the servant ogling the ranger. Like I am doing right now. What a nice ass. Damn, she's now covering it with her hand. That's making it lewder, tho- ARGH! "What was that for?!" She had turned around and poked me in the forehead.

"You're fucking looking at me weird, and you won't shut up!"

"Well stop having a nice ass!"

"I can't stop that! Maybe running away with you was a mistake."

"Wait, don't leave me! I can't survive out here, nor can I do Operation: Fuck a Daughter out here!"

"What kind of operation is that? Are you asking to be beaten up?!"

"Maybe."

"Masochistic maid, of fucking course."

"No, I don't like pain. I just think it'd be funny to be beaten up by you."

"Shut up."

"No comeback? Shame." She stopped and glared at me before continuing the walk through the forest in silence. I decided to stay silent as well, with nothing else to talk about.

It had been a few minutes before we came across a road, where we could see no carriages in either direction. We would continue walking down the road, but first, we would take a break. We rested for a few minutes when suddenly two different things happened. 

First, the ranger completely changed her appearance. A small whirlwind of dust flew around her, and her adventurer's outfit was swapped with the garbs of a wandering merchant. Everything about her changed. Her clothes, her body (no longer had a nice ass), her height, hair, and voice. She was even slightly nicer to me, although I feel that's because she had that eternal smile most merchants seem to have. The only thing I saw that didn't change was her green eyes. Maybe I do like eyes.

Second, on the horizon, were a pair of shining silver lights that were fast approaching us. I could tell it wasn't a carriage since there were no horses, but it was like something I had never seen before. On the other hand, Ranger wasn't as confused as I, looking at whatever was coming. "A car? There's only three in existence, and Mel has only met one of the three owners, so it's him."

"Car? Mel? Him? What are you saying?"

"Hmm…" She looked at what was coming near, which now that it was closer, I could see it was a huge metal box. Then again, carriages are also huge boxes, just wood. "I think I have time to explain. A car is a vehicle that doesn't need horses like a carriage. The one coming towards us is a prototype created by the Golemancer. She's trying to mass produce them. Mel is my name when I'm like this. A wandering merchant part of the Dragon's Keep trading guild. As for him, it's the guy driving the car. The founder of the Dragon's Keep. I… forgot his name. Too many people, not enough memory. Well, Side Character will probably kick in when I talk to him, letting me know stuff I should know."

"That was a lot of information, and I don't remember half of it."

"Car go fast, Mel is my merchant name, and scary Dragon's Keep founder in the car."

"Got it. Why is he scary?"

"Two reasons. Half dragon and tha-"

"And that he always seems to know. Know what? What you'll say, what you'll need, all sorts of things." Before I had realised, the car was already behind the range… actually, I should call her Mel. Anyways, the car was behind Mel, and peeking out of it was a draconic looking man wearing completely black glasses. Damn, can't see his eyes. I wonder what the eyes of a half-dragon look like? "How's it going, apprentice?"

"I am doing well… at least I was."

"Haha, your scathing words still persist. She ain't too hard on you maid, is she?"

"Oh, no, no. In fact, I quite like it."

"Ooh, match made in Heaven, Mel."

"Yeah, yeah, Teach. Now then, you never stop for idle chatter."

"Haha, that's right. I'm here to make a deal with you two."

"Deal? We've got nothing of value, though."

"Eh, don't worry. A friend of mine paid for you two already. Although, there is one last thing, and only she can fulfil it." He pointed at me with his claws. Ooh… what big, sharp claws. Could cut underwear with it. "Is that… a thing she does?"

"Constantly."

"That's rough. Anyways," He reached to his side and bought out a box, which he handed over to Mel. "Six items in there, three each. For you Mel, a holy arrow that only harms pure evil, a cat ears headband that lets you breathe in space, and a card that teleports you and whatever you're holding to your lover. For the maid, an ID for Cyst City, a teabag said to be Death's favourite flavour, and a mirror. My friend told me that you should look in the mirror tonight when you two camp."

"That's more than you usually give out. Why?"

"My friend was vague about it."

"Who's your friend?"

"You'll meet her soon. Now for the last part of payment," He took off his glasses, then faced me. "Look into my eyes, maid." 

"Huh. First time I've been given consent." I looked into his eyes, which were a slim slit of black surrounded by burning yellows and reds, like fire coming out of the abyss.

"Well then, that's all, ladies. Safe travels." He gave a salute, then drove off into the distance. What a cool guy.

"He's not cool."

Character profile: Rich Ardrago.

Sacred power: Item Box.

Favourite pastime: Conveniently being near a marriage proposal.

Description: The founder of the trading guild Dragon's Keep, he is a world-acclaimed merchant, known for always buying anything offered to him and selling whatever you need. The secret is that his near-endless hoard is kept within his Item Box. His long life and hoarding tendencies mean he has at least two copies of nearly anything in existence. He even has some unique items, like the bones of the original Entropy holder, a special piano from another world, and the amulet of the Demon King of Annihilation. He's also known for being the teacher of many influential people of this world, like the Head of the Trading Guilds Alliance.

Chapter namesake: Silver Lights by Coconuts.