Side Note

Hey there, the maid that's not paralyzed but struck by Mel, Madeleine here. We're currently at the dinner table, eating dinner, at dinnertime. Dinner dinner. I cooked dinner since I don't have to wake up for it, unlike breakfast. Also, it is easier to kick Merida out of the kitchen when it's dinnertime. As for what I cooked, it's nothing special. Just a roasted platter of vegetables. 

Turns out no one in this house can budget, not even Mel. We wasted a lot of the gold on random things we wanted. Mel and I bought nothing. We're content with our great, wonderful, life-saving table. Speedy and Mimi bought a lot of weird-looking weapons, although I suspect only one of them was buying them for a collection. Eh, I'm not the responsible one in the group, so Mimi has my blind eye. Merry and Merida ended up buying… I'd rather not say. Even I'm disgusted by it.

Due to our lack of funds, I had to settle for a basket filled with random vegetables from a stall that looked like a baby could break it. The old lady behind it was lovely, though. She gave me an apple! I don't like apples, though.  I cooked the vegetables, and obviously, no one at the table was happy about it. They're all eating things that I didn't make! At least Mel is eating what I cooked.

"It's shit."

"So why are you eating it?!"

"I don't want to eat whatever everyone else is eating. Also, no amount of skill in cooking was going to save those cheap veggies you got. They were probably scams, Madeleine."

"Probably were. So why don't you want to eat anyone else's food?" They look fine to me. I'd eat their food too, but I was taught to always eat your own cooking.

"I don't want to eat food from the Demonrealm, looks like it'll kill me." I looked at Merry, and I'd have to agree. It's some sort of… demonic lamb. It seems like normal lamb, but for some reason, it has an evil aura. It's literally oozing black mist.

"I can't eat the dragon's food, it's too big for me, and it's raw." I looked out the window to see the dragon munching on the corpse of a monster it went out to hunt for. We thought Rita took it with her to her village, but it returned once she got there, which is great. I love the dragon! 

"Mimi is straight up eating cat food, disgusting." I looked under the table to see Mimi eating out of a can. No one knows where she got it from, how she found it, or why she's eating it instead of normal food. Eh, whatever. We're all weirdos here.

"I'm never going to eat anything Speedy is eating after the last time she offered food." Ooh, I remember that. Turns out Speedy is quite the gourmet and goes to restaurants around the world. She offered us some meat on a stick she got from a faraway country, only to reveal it was raw fish marinated in the blood of a Poison Wyvern. It was disgusting.

"And Merida… I'm fucking sick of soup. I'd rather have to go bowling with you than have more soup, and I fucking hate bowling." Merida is drinking soup. Frozen soup. Apparently, she keeps it in her drawer for emergencies. I… really need to expand her palate. Also, what's bowling? 

"An activity meant for entertainment from Mel's original world," Merida interjected, no longer licking her frozen soup. I seriously need to expand her palate.

"Oh yeah, you said something about another world." I forgot about that.

"That's not the kind of thing you're supposed to forget."

"Well, I don't care about other worlds."

"Not even when they're related to me?"

"I want to know the you of now. Once I learn that, I'll have all the time to learn the you of then."

"That was…" She got a little flustered but quickly composed herself. "Did you steal that from something?"

"I knew this one flirt back in Hamblin who talked with all the girls and boys that walked into his bar. I stole some of his lines."

"Oh… give back my emotions."

"No can do, buckaroo. Now then, who we hunting tomorrow, Meri?"

"Huh? Me?" Merry looked up from her book. Why is she reading while eating?

"No, not you, the elf."

"Oh. Very well, then. I shall go back to my reading. Do tell me when you plan to make tea, then." And back to reading, she went.

"No more bandit bounties. Those were just for this week."

"I didn't mean the bandit bounties. I meant the Sacred Power thing."

"Ah, that. Hmm… well, I cannot be bothered at the moment to search for one, so please look into Mimi's eyes."

"Wait… Mimi?"

"Yes, Mimi. Our very own cat beastman with kleptomania and the third member of our group with too many daggers under their clothes."

"She was a Sacred Power holder the whole time?"

"I thought it was evident. Wouldn't you agree, Mel?"

"I mean, I guess. So far, everyone we've meant has been one. Does that mean Rita was one too? Wait… don't tell me," Mel looked out the window at the dragon, "They're one too?"

"How astute."

"Wait, why did you let Rita go then?! My goal!" I fell off my chair onto my knees, "MY GOAL!!!"

"Do not fret, Madeleine. We have all the time to find her again. Now, since you're done there, do what you do with Mimi."

I looked at Mimi, who was licking her hands, eating the last of the cat food she had. Prime opportunity. "Come here, kitty kitty!"

"Wait, what?!" Down on the floor, I had her pinned. Ooh… what golden eyes.

Almost immediately, I found myself paralyzed, and Mimi quickly retreated. I'm going to have to apologise. 

Character profile: Millie "Mimi" Migans

Sacred power: Paralyzer

Occupations: Formerly a thief, a companion of The Insane Hero, and a restaurant mascot. Currently a freeloader.

Description: The catgirl with a big cloak and a suspicious interest in all things crime, she's a recent addition to the group. She falls behind the dragon, the mansion, and a really cool vase the Insane Hero set next to his front door on the acquisition rankings. The Insane Hero brought her into the party because, in his own words, "A catgirl is a staple." If it weren't that fact, she'd most likely be living on the streets, still resorting to her thieving ways. An unfortunate fate for many like her in the Garwet Kingdom.

Chapter namesake: Paralyzer by Finger Eleven.