Side Note

Chapter 23: Wonderwall



"We are gathered here to mourn the death of Davi- just jesting. In actuality, we are here to celebrate the acquisition of our new home! Cheers!" 

Hey there, person who saw the destruction of the world's strongest wall, Madeleine here. We're having a party, if a table with a tiny cake for… let me count… seven people and a dragon is a party. Merida said cheers, but we don't even have cups or drinks. There are bowls of soup, though.

We're all sitting around the table Mel bought for me, it can conveniently change size and shape. A worthwhile investment, I should say hi to the table crafter to say thanks sometime and have that staring contest. Merry and Merida are talking about restarting the dungeon creation plan. Speedy is running out and about, bringing any salvageable remnants of our old home. Mel is in the seat next to mine. Obviously, I dragged her to it. The elf who was with the previous owner is awkwardly drinking some soup, not having anyone to talk to. The catgirl is nonchalantly drinking her soup under the table, crouched and entirely covered by her cloak.

By the way, the dragon is outside, peeking through the nearby window. It's adorable. I hope we get to keep it. I know Speedy is supposed to be our transporter, but I prefer the dragon. Aww… it's adorable.

"Madeleine, please stop focusing on the dragon. I have dire news to share, so your undivided attention is needed." 

"Fine, fine." I wave to the dragon, who does some weird eye movements. I have no idea what that means. Guess I'll look at the cute but not as adorable as the dragon people. Besides Speedy. Bandits don't look cute. "Hey!"

"So, terrible news, everyone. I am afraid we are currently in poverty." We all looked shocked at her, except for the dragon. It is still adorable. Also the catgirl. She's still drinking her soup under the table.

"Madeleine, focus." Focusing! "Do not fret. I have devised a plan to get us out of this situation. There are three parts to this plan that will happen simultaneously. The first part is halfway done, as you can see." She pointed towards the pile of random valuables that Speedy had been salvaging from our burned down home. 

"I will have Rita collect all the valuables in this mansion, then take those and the valuables in that pile and load them onto the dragon. You are to sell as much as you can. You may take fifty percent of the gold earned for when you intend to return to your village."

"Understood, and thank you." Rita stood up and bowed to Merida. Rita joined up with the Insane Hero to get gold for her village, but she never got the chance to return due to his continuous adventuring. I'd say it's a shame, but there are already two elves… is it two? Mel isn't always an elf. Well, she's an elf right now, so two.

"The second part is that I will have Madeleine and Mel capture some bandits with bounties on their heads." Ooh… bandit bounties. I hope this doesn't hurt Speedy's feelings. "These bandits have their main base in the middle of the desert and pillage anyone travelling through the desert. Due to them being in the middle of the desert, reaching their base to subjugate them is incredibly inconvenient. Fortunately for us, we have Speedy. Speedy will drop you two off nearby their camp at night. You'll incapacitate them, then we hand them in for the bounty. As a bonus, they have a Sacred Power holder within their ranks. Do your thing with them, Madeleine."

"Aye aye, lieutenant!"

"The last part is that we'll be selling Mimi." At that moment, we heard a thump from under the table, then a yell of pain.

"Nyah!"

"Did… did she just say nyah?"

"Is there anything weird about that, Mel?"

"You know what, no. Nothing weird about it at all."

"Oh, okay."

From under the table scurried Mimi. "Sell me?!"

"Just a jest, just a jest." Mimi let out a sigh of relief. "David had many connections who are sure to come here to mourn his death. Your job is to maximise our gain. Do whatever it takes to get the most mourning gifts possible."

"You want me to scam everyone who comes here?"

"Yes."

"Gladly."

"I think we might get along, Mimi."

"I think we might."

"That bonding thing is cool and all, but what about you and Merry?" Mel got in between the elf and the catgirl. Is she sensing something dangerous?

"Merry and I will be continuing our demon dungeon plans."

"Isn't that why your mansion burnt down?! Why are you continuing?!"

"We have learned from our mi-"

"Shut up Merry!"

"Oh…" Merry sheepishly went back to drinking her tea. Of course, I made it. Only she wanted tea, though.

"We are continuing because I want to, and so does Merry."

"Haa… when are we getting a second straight man that isn't constantly busy like Speedy?"

"Eh? But no one is a man here, Mel." Wait… is the dragon a man? I should ask it.

"That's not what I meant, Madeleine. You know what, whatever. I'll just try not to go insane. Let's go kick some bandit butt."

"It is still the day, Melanie. Your part will not start until tonight. No need for early enthusiasm."

"I… I don't want to drink any more soup."

"Drink the soup."

"Nooo!" And out the door ran Mel. In came Speedy, and out went Speedy. Merida and Merry went down into the basement, and Rita started loading stuff onto the dragon. Guess I'll play with the catgirl.


After three hours of nothing but listening to Mimi explain who lives around us, what time they're not in their house, and what valuables they keep, it finally became nighttime. Mel returned as soon as the sunset came, so we packed the essentials for bandit subjugation. A magic bow for Mel, thirty two throwing knives for me, and special shoes for Speedy so she doesn't slip on the sand. The sand here makes people slip, something about a curse. Also, I learned Mel hates sand. Something about shoes.

"Are you two ready?"

"I'm more ready than these two maids who were caught sleeping in the bathtub back when I worked for this no-"

"Madeleine, this is no time for your stories. Speedy, we're ready."

"Then let's go." One moment we're in the house, the next in the desert. It's so lovely and cool at night. The sky is so clear, I can see the two moons.

"Hey Mel."

"What?"

"Did we always have two moons?"

"Dunno, I never look up."

"Huh." I turned to say something to Speedy, but she was already gone.

"Now then, where's the bandit camp?" Mel looked around with a pair of binoculars. "Ah, found it. Let's go."

"Aye aye, captain!"


So it turns out the bandits are incredibly weak. Seriously weak. We went into their camp when I accidentally set off the alarm. How am I supposed to know that chicken was the alarm? Around twenty bandits rushed out from the tents and surrounded us, but as soon as I threw a single throwing knife at one of their shoes, the rest panicked and ran away. They didn't get far. All of them fell into the sand. At the same time. Seriously, they all fell at the same time. We took longer collecting all of them and tying them up than we did "fighting" them.

Looking around the camp and their weapons, they're absolutely rubbish. The tents have holes in them, and Mel easily broke the weapons. As far as I can tell, the only reason they've survived out here and managed to be a menace is that they have access to an oasis, and travellers don't. They lucked out. The desert was on their side. The oasis has nice water, by the way. I took an impromptu bath in it. Unfortunately, Mel didn't take the bait. She stayed behind to watch over the bandits. Damnit.

We're still in the camp because we haven't found the Sacred Power holder. We've been searching through the tents but haven't found them. I did find a bunch of things I've pocketed away. I found a really old coin, it makes a nice sound when I flip it, a piece of paper with an address on it, might visit them, and lastly a small box with ten tea leaves in it. Mmm… tea. The only tent we haven't checked is the big tent for the bandit group's leader. 

Mel and I walked in to find a woman drinking tea. "Oh… I'm guessing you two beat all the boys."

"Yes." Mel grabbed out her bow and aimed towards her. "Who are you two?"

"Just the bandit chief's wife. No need to worry. I'm weaker than the boys you dealt with. So, what are you two gals looking for? You already have the bounty."

"A Sacred Power holder."

The woman raised her eyebrows. "A Sacred Power holder, huh. Why?"

"I wish to look in their eyes!"

"For what?"

"Eye fetish."

The woman suddenly started laughing before taking one last sip of her tea.

"I bet she's the Sacred Power holder, Madeleine."

"What makes you say that?"

"Uh… guts?"

"That's some good guts ya got there, then. That bet would be damn right. Now, you wanted to look into my eyes? Come here and get it." 

"Oh, okay." I walked over to the woman whilst also taking a look at the tea. Darn, finished. Guess the blend will stay a mystery. I looked at the woman, who calmly sat there. She sure is collected for someone about to be handed in for a bounty. Whatever, eye time!

Oasis

You can create an oasis.

Side Note: It doesn't even need to be in a desert.

Oh, that explains the nice oasis and how the bandits survived. 

"Ya done?"

"Sure am!"

"Alright then." She stood up. "I'm going to sit with the boys. I'm guessing you two have some way to move us to the city." And out she walked.

"Huh. I really expected her to stab you, Madeleine."

"What? Why?"

"Bandit, cliffhanger, and she seems like the kind of bad guy to be reoccu…." She stopped talking and faced the tent's exit. 

"Let's see if she went to actually sit with the other bandits." We both ran out of the tent, but the oasis was gone, and she was nowhere to be seen. Fortunately, the bandits were still tied up. "Well… shit."


Character profile: Maggie "Magpie" Rain

Sacred power: Oasis

Bounty: 0 Gold (The Bounty's Association don't know she was part of the bandit group)

Description: The wife of a desert nomad turned bandit chief. She was born in the nearby city, Golias, famed home of David the Insane, but ran away from home after learning what happened to commoners born with Sacred Powers in her country. She fled to the desert, knowing what her Sacred Power was. There she met a group of nomads, who quickly became her family. Due to a lack of food and discrimination against their nomadic culture, they turned to banditry. As one of the few educated within their ranks, Maggie became one of their leaders, alongside her husband. It was in this position she learnt some more… unsavoury traits.

Chapter namesake: Wonderwall by Oasis


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