Side Note

We're currently in the slums, looking for the shady antique store. It's dirty, crammed with people, and a group of rats are standing on their hind legs. They're wearing cute hats. Aww… I could crush them. Oh, they're running away now. 

"Madeleine, please stop looking at random groups of things. We're looking for a building, not some old lady's lost ring."

"An old lady lost her ring?"

"No."

"Oh. Why'd you lie? Lying is bad."

"It wasn't a lie. It was a… fuck, I don't want to explain."

"While you two bicker, can I just super speed around this whole place to find it for us?"

"Oh yeah, that's an option. Go for it, Speedy. We'll just stand here."

"On it." And off Speedy went. Since we're just standing around, I guess I'll do the obvious thing and look around. Rundown house, another rundown house, and more rundown houses. All the people who live in the rundown houses seem to be peeking out of the holes in their walls.

"There sure are a lot of folks peeking at us, Mel. Do you know why?"

"Really obvious. As far as they're concerned, I'm probably some random high ranked noble's child who became an adventurer with her maid, which is a red flag. Another red flag is that Speedy is with us. She's wearing bandit clothing. They probably think it's some sort of slave trader stint."

"Have I ever mentioned I'm a slave?"

"Not to me. That would've been a nice thing for you to mention, but not here. Oh god, look at the ones who heard you say that. They're terrified and don't seem to be willing to run after seeing Speedy run off."

"Wanna pretend to actually be slave traders?"

"No thanks. Past experiences have taught me that I'm terrible at being antagonistic."

"It's a prank, it's not anta-"

"Pranks are the pinnacle of antagonism." Mel got right into my face. "Got it?"

"Okay, okay! Look, Speedy's back!" Mel turned around, which I used to pinch the back of her neck. "Hah! Sucke-" Suddenly, I was launched into the air and could hear gasps from the nearby houses.

"Whoops, my hand slipped."

"Good comeback." I got up. "Punch me again."

"I found the anti- why are you two in fighting stances?"

"I wish to be punched by Mel."

"I wish to punch her."

"I will never understand your relationship. Now, stretch out those wrists." Mel and I reached out our wrists towards Speedy, who grabbed them and took us to the antique store. Man, that is really shady. Merida wasn't lying. The windows are boarded up, the sign is extremely faded, the door is fully metal, and there's a weird black symbol next to the door. It's… a top hat and a monocle as if it's a noble's self-portrait but without the face. That screams criminal.

"Huh. The Villa."

"You know about them, Speedy?"

"Of course I do. Had to know all the big players back when I was a bandit. The Villa is just a bunch of posh bandit wannabes who get a bit too aroused by crime. This must be one of their informants, or maybe even a supplier."

"This is obviously crime related. How do they get away with it?"

"They're nobles. They just bribe everyone."

"Mmm… bribery. I used to take bribes back in the day."

"Who the hell bribed you, Madeleine?"

"No one, I just want to be bribed one day. Anyways, when are we going in?"

"Right now." Speedy kicked open the door. "Surprise Bandit King examination!"

The old man behind the counter, who was reading a book, suddenly jumped up in surprise then fell over. Poor guy. Mel pulled both Speedy and me to the side. "What the hell are you saying, Speedy?"

"Just go along with me. I want to go back home as quickly as possible, and the quickest way to get this guy to listen to us is if I use my Bandit King status."

"Makes sense."

"All I need you to do is keep Madeleine in check."

"That I can do. Which reminds me, where's Madeleine? I pulled her into this, so how did she escape?"

"Wait… the old man is gone too!"

---

Hi, kidnapped maid here. This reminds me of my first mee- "Shut the fuck up, Maid. If you keep speaking, they'll find this room." 

It turned out the old man didn't fall in surprise. In reality, he intentionally fell into a trapdoor and dragged me down here from under. He's planning to hold me hostage, so he's looking through crates to find some rope and a weapon right now.

"Why the fuck is there a Bandit King? This is fucking Liscus. The only bandits are those rich motherfuckers who can't stand the sight of blood. Ah fuck, and it had to be the Speed Demon too."

"Speed Demon?"

"The strongest Bandit King. If she felt like it, she could kill all the Bandit Kings around the world in two seconds. I hear the only reason she didn't do that is because she doesn't like killing."

"Huh. Surprisingly moral."

"She can still kick my ass, though." He grabbed out a broken wine bottle. "Ah fuck, this will do."

"I don't think that'll do anything."

"You're right… should I just surrender? Fucking hell."

"Aren't you a Sacred Power holder? Couldn't you use it to save yourself?"

"It's terrible for combat. Its only real use is for collecting information."

"Oh, so you are a Sacred Power holder. Do you mind looking into my eyes?"

"Fuck no. No idiot would look into the eye of someone who clearly knows a thing or two about Sacred Power holders."

"Aww…"

"Look into her eyes." From behind me came a voice. I turned around to see Speedy. 

"You came to save me!"

"No shit. You think I'd just leave you here?"

"Maybe."

"I was thinking about it."

"I've knocked him out." Mel came out of the shadows, dragging the old man.

"That wasn't part of the plan, Mel!"

"Your plan was stupid." She dropped the old man's arm. "Now, stop pretending you're tied up and get up, Madeleine."

"Fine, fine." I got up and dusted my maid dress. This secret room is really dusty.

"He's right here, do your thing."

"Aye aye, captain!" I pulled back the old man's eyelids and saw eyes. It's the eyes of an old man. I'm not going to bother describing it.

20 Questions You can ask a person 20 questions that they are compelled to answer. Side Note: Nothing like the game, but I don't care.

"What's the Sacred Power?"

"20 Questions."

"Wait, is that why she looks into people's eyes? To see their Sacred Powers?"

"Yeah… did you actually believe she had an eye fetish?"

"I did. Madeleine is weird, seemed like something she'd claim to have."

"Speaking of Madeleine… why didn't you just deal with him yourself?"

"He was too smooth."

"What do you mea-"

"His bald head. It mesmerised me."

"Let's just find the last guy."

---

Character profile: Leroy

Sacred power: 20 Questions

Position in Villa: Garden. Considered for Porch position. (It's a Villa thing.)

Description: The owner of an antique store in the slums of Liscus, he's also a member of the criminal group The Villa. The Villa is the major criminal group of the Garwet Kingdom, but as a rarity among the major names, they do not have the Bandit King of their country within their ranks. This fact and the fact that a majority of the members of the Villa are nobles has led to them being considered a joke within bandit circles. Leroy is a commoner, but his status as a Sacred Power holder and an interrogator with consistent results has led to him being allowed this exclusive criminal group. Besides interrogation, he also sells the nobles illegal goods. 

Chapter namesake: Smooth Criminal by Michael Jackson