She was no different from a beast

Chapter 35

—–CROW—– 

“…”

“Yuna?”

“Huh? Ah, yes, Mom?”

“Is something bothering you?”

Mom put down her spoon and looked at me with concern.

Dad also glanced at Mom and then spoke to me.

“Yeah, you usually eat like a wild boar, but what’s wrong today?”

Dad, even so…

Isn’t it a bit much to casually say your daughter eats like a pig?

Regardless, both of them seemed puzzled by my unusual behavior… Hmm. Should I tell them?

‘No, I *have* to tell them.  Why am I even hesitating?’

It’s about me.

Hiding something about myself from my parents?

Ugh, I don’t want to be an ungrateful and unfilial daughter.

“Actually…yesterday, I took Jeongwoo and Yuri for a work experience, and I was asked if I’d considered moving to the mainland after graduating elementary school.”

“…Huh?”

“…”

Yesterday, the flower shop unnie gave us a ride home, and…when it was just the two of us, she made me an offer.

* “Yuna, have you thought about moving to Seoul…or rather, the mainland, and living with me after graduating elementary school?”

* “Huh? The mainland?”

* “Yes.  It’s much bigger than Ulleungdo, with more people, and it’s a wonderful place.  I’m planning to open a flower shop on the mainland, though it’s still a long way off.”

“I’d live with her, go to middle school there, and come home during vacations! I heard the ferry fare is really cheap for Ulleungdo residents! So I’m…thinking about it.”

“…”

“…”

Dad was silent, stroking his chin thoughtfully.

Mom lowered her head.

An awkward silence filled the air.

Ugh, this is why I kept it to myself and worried about it.

I’ve always hated this kind of awkward atmosphere.

Especially with family.

These are the people who gave birth to me and raised me, not just some casual acquaintances.

Being awkward with them… Ugh, I don’t even want to imagine it.

But the reason I didn’t immediately refuse the offer and kept thinking about it is…because I’ve always considered moving to the mainland eventually.

Honestly, if I planned to stay in Tonggumi…no, Ulleungdo forever, there would be no reason to save the money I’ve earned. I could just learn to work on a fishing boat or do other odd jobs when I grow up.

Or I could learn Taekwondo seriously in middle school and become an instructor or join a demonstration team.

But then I’d live a boring and ordinary life, just like in my past life.

Well, it might be more fun than before, but…that’s not the future I want.

“Well, if that’s what you want, Yuna, we won’t stop you. There are experiences you can only have on the mainland.  Your mom and I respect your decision…”

“No.”

Dad nodded and was about to continue, a hint of sadness in his voice, but…Mom interrupted him firmly, unlike her usual self.

A short, but resolute “no.”

“…Huh?”

“Wait, honey.  Even so, saying ‘no’ so firmly is a bit…”

“What do you mean, firmly?! Honey, Yuna is only 8 years old! Even after graduating elementary school, she’ll only be 14!”

W-well, that’s true, but…

Dad and I stammered, taken aback by Mom’s sudden outburst. Mom frowned, tears welling up in her eyes, as if she was about to cry, and glared at Dad and me.

“Our child should still be receiving love and growing up by our side!!  How can any parent be happy about their child leaving home?! I-I won’t allow it…”

“M-Mom…”

I wondered if it was something to be this upset about, but then I remembered Dad’s words about Mom being lonely and fearing that I would leave one day. I couldn’t speak.

As if he’d foreseen this moment, as if he knew it wasn’t some distant future event.

I reached out to Mom, but I couldn’t bring myself to ask if she was okay or pat her shoulder.

I felt like a criminal.

Like I’d driven a nail into the heart of Mom, who loved me so much and disciplined me when needed, and always smiled brightly when she saw me.

With every tear that rolled down my cheek, a pang of guilt stabbed at my heart.

Was I being too selfish?

Was I thinking only of myself and acting selfishly…?

Making a hasty decision based solely on my desires, without considering Mom and Dad’s feelings?

“Honey, Suyeon. Why are you crying during dinner? Let’s go to our room and talk.  Yuna, your dad will comfort your mom, so just finish your dinner.”

“O-okay…”

Dad helped Mom, who was trembling and sobbing, and led her to their bedroom.

I sat alone at the quiet table, looking at the cooling kimchi fried rice, my favorite, filled with ham and corn that Mom had made…and quietly put down my spoon.

***

I knew this day would come eventually.

‘Honestly, our daughter isn’t the type to be satisfied with this small island life.’

But I thought it would be when she graduated high school and went to university, or when she wanted to move to the mainland for a job…

I thought it would be at least when she wanted to attend high school on the mainland, but who knew she’d want to leave right after graduating elementary school?

I’m proud of her and want to support her, but…I’m also sad that she’s already thinking about leaving.

We haven’t even gone camping together or made enough memories yet.

But I was prepared for this.

Even though she’s young, Yuna is my daughter, a determined child who always keeps her word and follows through on her actions.

But it seems my wife wasn’t prepared yet.

“Suyeon, stop crying now.”

“B-but honey…Yuna…Yuna… *Sob!*”

Judging by her reaction, it seems like she hadn’t even considered this possibility.

Well, my wife has always been like this.

A possessive love, an unwillingness to let go of the people she cherishes…or maybe it’s just a deep affection.

It shows how much she loves Yuna, but…who knew she’d react so sensitively during dinner?

“It’s not certain yet. She’s just thinking about it.  Yuna must be so flustered right now.”

“…You know as well as I do that if Yuna is seriously considering it, she’ll go even if we try to stop her.”

Oh, so you knew.

I patted my wife’s back as she sat on the bed next to me, her face buried in my chest, sobbing.  I let out a silent, wry chuckle.

Yes, she’ll go even if we try to stop her.

Knowing that…is that why I felt so sad?

“Yes, I know.  Then shouldn’t we…at least send her off with a smile?”

“But…I want to live with you, Yuna, and…our new baby forever…”

Wow. To so casually declare that she won’t let our children leave the nest.

Well, I feel the same way, but does life ever go as planned?

“I understand how you feel. But…let’s wait and see. Let’s observe Yuna for a while, and if you’re still worried, we’ll talk about it again.  Okay?”

“…”

My wife nodded, although her expression showed she had a lot more to say.  I stroked her hair and smiled faintly.

It’s not like she’s leaving right away.  There are still six years left. It’s too early to be arguing about this.

Instead of arguing and crying, it’s better to make more happy memories and, if she does leave, send her off without regrets.

Besides, she’s not saying she’ll never see us again. She said she’ll come home during vacations, and we can always call.

We’ll be physically apart.

It’s not like we’re severing family ties.

My wife and I can always visit Yuna.

‘If I go to the mainland, I’ll have to visit not only Yuna but also my father and father-in-law…’

That’s a bit daunting.

I’m not sure how to face my father-in-law, who was practically forced into baldness by my wife.

My wife seemed to have calmed down a bit, so I wiped her face with a tissue and opened the bedroom door together.

Our daughter must be sitting there, unable to eat properly in that atmosphere.  I need to go and tell her it’s okay.

She’s very sensitive to the mood, so she’s probably just sitting there, not eating a single bite, and peeking towards our bedroom.

She needs to eat well to grow tall and healthy, so it’s not good if she can’t eat because of us.

As soon as the door opened…

“I’m sorry!! Mom!!!”

“???”

“???”

“…”

‘Is this a dream?’

My daughter was kneeling in front of the bedroom door, head bowed, wearing only her panties, her clothes neatly folded beside her.  Hmm.

Wow, our daughter. Where did she learn to do a naked dogeza?

“Y-Yuna?! W-why are you naked?!”

“Clothes are a luxury when expressing my pure sincerity!!!”

Haha, that’s right. That’s my daughter, with her unique way of thinking. I’m so proud.

I couldn’t help but laugh at the sight of my wife, flustered and blushing at the naked dogeza, and our daughter, completely exposed, bowing her head in front of the door.

“Please put some clothes on! Yuna!!”

“I-I’ll stay naked until you forgive me!!”

“I forgive you! I forgive you, so please!”

Wow, she got forgiven just like that.

I should try that sometime.

—–CROW—– 

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