Shadows before dawn.

You cover so many pages of my old journals.

With faded memories.

With microfractures.

With little kernels.

And

Of all the things that used to thrive 

Before that great inferno.

Those pages filled with sleepless nights

The haunted halls internal. 

And

We saw each other maybe once or twice or thrice a week 

And

We were much younger, I was anxious just to get a peek 

And

I couldn't wait till after school, especially the weekends 

And puppy love was just the start of what our hearts were seekin'

I remember summer days and sneaking to your window.

I thought I heard you call my name when I would feel the wind blow.

I remember kissing in the rain...that was then though...

I thought that you would spare me from the pain, that crescendo.

The shards of memories of you playing hard to get...

We locked eyes across from the graveyard, I lied a little bit...

And I had fresh scars that I was trying to cut, trying to forget...

And I was just a rebound, you were trying harder to forfeit...

But you were the first one.

That I gave a ring to...

The one that I cried for.

The one that I'd sing to...

The first one to steal my heart

The last one to fully take it...

I know that you gave your heart

And I was the one to break it...

Then I was the giver of hearts

And she was the one to flake it...

I know that I deserve karma 

But she was the one who faked it...

The next was a Rollercoaster 

I knew that I couldn't take it. 

Her anger would boil over

My soul she was trying to shake it.

I told her that it was over

She took off that mask in a snap.

A dark side I did discover

From that there's no turning back...

The one with the blazing hair

Spirit like a gun.

Green eyes pierced the very air

I loved her like the sun.

Another Latin lover

Met her at a bus stop.

I thought that she would have my child

I never thought it would flop.

Then came the perfect summer

Thought she was my endgame.

"It all sounded good at the time."

She left me...all the damn same.

And

The next one drew me in...

She drank deep from my weakness.

She took what was left of my heart 

And tore it all to pieces.

I tried to heal 

But I would just reach for another love.

And

I never learned to leave

I'm not just one to give it up.

And

And now I live alone

Not knowing who the next is.

I now that I have learned some lessons

Messing with my exes. 

The next is

The one I think I'll try to give it all too.

All you.

If only I could just sit down and call you...

Waiting for something to blossom

Praying it won't fall through.

Another day has gone,

One day sky's will be all blue.