Jade inside, Jade outside
The door closed, but time was running out. I never wanted to meet my brothers in such a place, let alone now, I had to escape...now.
Yet before I could escape this cursed place,I had to behave properly, I had to visit one more place, one more person. Or who knew, maybe it was going to be different now, although people who repeat the same activity over and over again had one term - madman.
So without waiting a moment longer, I plunged into the depths of this labyrinth I used to call home, keeping the right path, of course. Right, right, left, right, right, left and finally straight sounded the combination of the way to go, not the only, but the best way at that moment for me.
For the inexperienced, white marble roads, interspersed with countless stone paths for everyone to walk on. Decorated white columns, beautiful paintings every second step and gilded walls. If that didn't speak of splendor and vanity then I don't know what would, in a single word - decadence. It was said not to be like this before, so extravagant, so rejecting, so hideous. First you are delighted, then you become indifferent to it and finally do not want to look at it anymore. After so many years, I was already nauseated by the extravagance, the splendor.... yet the paintings were great, after all they came out of the hands of the greatest artists that the galaxy had to offer, which meant something.
Apparently, however, this was not the case in the past. It was modestly ... more modest, but new is the ruler of the building is the new rules overall, no one could change it even if they wanted to. A principle carved in stone.
As I traversed this dangerous building for the unworthy, my thoughts were completely different from my steps. Finally, today was the day where everything was going to change, I just didn't know whether for better or worse. We were going to be separated, sent to new training places and also be subjected to many trials, which.... no one told us about.
"Changing places to train, a very nice phrase for exile."
A time of change, changes in the rules of the game, a change in the environment. New surroundings, new people. I might be able to make new friends and acquaintances who will not turn out to be the same as others, on an unknown planet surrounded by strangers.... pity only almost everyone knew when he was going to be sent, the best universities were not created so o overnight.... which is a pity, a great pity.
However, nothing was to be taken for granted, my brothers could not hold influence that far, could they?
“It couldn't have been that bad after all...” I tried to convince myself, all the while not slowing my step for a moment. Yet in vain. I was still too slow.
I heard footsteps.
This time the guards, as always, stood in plain sight, like statues without flinching. At perfect distances from each other with drawn weapons at the ready and full gear, they stood unconcerned. Not every one of them was an angel like me, but every one was deadly loyal to the empire, deadly loyal to the bone. Generally speaking, due to their number, they were not very strong, but still strong enough to destroy me in a moment, so I never accosted any of them. For me they were more like expensive furniture, quiet, immovable and durable. Like living armor in the castle of a dark ruler in some novels. They were silent and motionless and that meant that this sound was not made by them.
One of my brother was walking in that direction.... fast.
I did not know which one of them decided to set as a starting point the same goal as me, take a detour, but judging by the volume of footsteps the assessment could only be one.... Sixth one was approaching.
Realization quickly reached my head, but my body reacted faster. I hid behind the nearest column and held my breath. Words said something and actions said something else, after all, nothing helped the competition more than to exclude the competitors at the very beginning, a brutal, brutal exclusion.
The guards, as guards do, did not react, as usual they stood still not even concerned about my unexpected behavior. They watched, saw but never acted, no matter what happened in front of them, oh they didn't act. They would not help if something happened to me, yet they also did not help my brothers.... I didn't think it would matter anymore after today, but I was wrong again. Mere human dummies.
I squeezed deeper behind the column and hid almost directly behind the guard and waited. Occasionally low height was useful.
The footsteps were getting louder by the minute, step by step the sound was getting closer. Then someone's breathing reached my ears, deep, powerful and rapid. Verdict was already certain.
I drew deeply into my lungs and stood still like a sculpture. I even closed my eyes so that the instinct of the other person would not tell that he was being watched. I did my best, all I could... and waited.
I waited.
Waited.
Waited.
And I waited.
I was cut off from reality, from everything except hearing, but there was something I could never get rid of - thoughts.
Something in the back of my mind began whispering to me, tempting me, teasing me. Just was it me or maybe someone else?
"Why did the strong ones have to be the superior ones?"
“Why not do something that would make it so that others could no longer threaten me, after all I was capable of doing something?”
“Why did someone have to be born better and another worse, why couldn't we be all the same?”
“Why was it me who had to hide in fear, why not him, WHY NOT HIM?”
The voice though, quieted down as quickly as the sound of footsteps began to recede, I was safe.... for now.
The voice escaped, yet the inspiration remained "Why, exactly why?". For this I did not yet know the answer.... for now.
I was alone again, just was it better?
...
Nevertheless, I got to where I was supposed to get to, the residential part, the quarters of concubines, queens, empresses or whatever one wants to call it. But the most simplistic and insulting to its inhabitants was commonplace name - harem. The emperor's harem.
Beautiful brass and also jewel encrusted doors that were no different from the rest, no matter how much anyone tried to convince me otherwise. A door that guarded access to my destination.
I knocked on the door firmly, the guards did not try to stop me, they knew me enough and on top of that today was a special day through nothing would I possibly would be able to do. I was already persona non grata, I could do anything but nothing at the same time.
I didn't have to wait long before the inside had to honor my eyes. I didn't wait a moment longer to enter, the insider had a definite aversion to this type of behavior.
I crossed the threshold and the door like prison bars slammed right behind me, in a room with no access from the outside we were left just the two of us. I was cut off for good, and for bad.
Just me and my mother.
"Hi."
The words came out of my mouth but the answer did not follow. I moved a few steps closer in the hope that my interlocutor simply did not hear.... hope last.
"Hello, I wanted to say..." I started calmly again but was already interrupted halfway through. An unpleasant custom.
“How did you do?” Asked my mother lazily, all the while not taking her eyes off painting her nails, combing her hair and circularly polishing up her appearance. She totally poured me over.
But this time I didn't give up and went with the flow.
“Well, thanks for asking. Father looked at us one by one and also evaluated us.... nothing unusual happened. I finally got a name and those other things. I will miss you, do you know something maybe about the others...” I asked and answered myself at the same time, with no composition, no pattern, simply just to talk and get attention.
Or at least that's how it was supposed to go.... hope the mother of fools.
It ended with something else - "Well..."
“It went well, that's good. Remember what I told you, about how you should help your older brother. All it takes is for one of you to become emperor and we will all win, now we can suffer a little and then it will only get better. What does a little sacrifice mean for the good of the whole, after all, we are family.”
"Family... just why did it always have to be me?"
Further my parent just kept on dragging her own, constant unnecessary chatter, constant attempts at manipulation. So I did what I always do, turned off my mind and focused on something else.
“...... remember if you have any valuable information then don't forget to pass it on to your brother....”
My mom... mother... the woman who gave birth to me for as long as I can remember has never changed, the same beautiful face and the same rotten inside.
She had a pair of alluring and plump legs that, in contrast to the tight outfit, only seemed longer. Wide shapely hips that were definitely suited for bearing children, a thin waist and huge breasts. Her head was shrouded in a night black and cascading bouquet of hair, that reached her mid-back. Her nose was short and slender, her cheeks oval and shapely and her eyebrows short and trim. A pair of blue eyes that I must have been inherited from somewhere. Her skin, on the other hand, was pure, pearly white.... snowy white, disturbingly white, unhealthily white. And on top of that, her stance completely conveyed her inner attitude.... readiness. Yet even her natural charm and beauty wasn't enough for her, as next to a large drawer of clothes, there was an equally large stack of cosmetics. A huge pile for everything.
She was beautiful, even I had to admit that.... however, maybe that term wasn't enough. She was like a doll, always eager and ready for the arrival of her other half.... everywhere and every time.
Thus, I often heard the term that most guards used to describe her when no one was looking - a jade beauty. I understood the meaning more or less, but I have yet to find the exact term in any book. After all, what did white have to do with green?
“.... Therefore, when you find any opportunity to weaken another, or even better exclude them completely from the fight for the throne, then do not hesitate for a moment, regardless of the price. Do you understand... more or less?'
I affirmatively nodded my head disengaged from any thread. Nevertheless, it was enough for her.
" Good, good... good.”
“The most important thing for you to remember is to help your brother at all costs.... though, I'm sure you have some more important things on your mind, I won't hold you back any longer. Besides, I have to prepare for his arrival."
A more literal command to get the fuck out of here was probably no longer possible for her. It boggled her mind that the emperor would come to her every day, every time, even if he had many other choices. A crazy woman, yet perhaps it was innate?
In the end, what exactly was I hoping for, maybe I am the crazy one after all.
The day wasn't over yet but I was already ending up without my father, mother and siblings. I was an Orphan.
Still I felt something, I think it would work out for the better.