Seven Steps to Becoming a Superhero

Zack entered his apartment. He was covered in sweat, grime and beer, not to mention exhaustion.

Isn’t college life great?

His first order of business was taking a quick shower, if only to cast off the beer Rachel had poured all over him. He really needed to talk to her, but the things she said finally started to gel. Apparently, his fight with Professor Saber had really rattled the guy. Maybe his investigation was finally starting to go somewhere. Maybe it was time to turn up the heat on Saber.

Or in this case, cold.

Zack briefly wondered where exactly Icer had gotten off to. He clearly wasn’t here, given his apartment’s comfortable temperature. Zack didn’t know if he should be comforted or freaked out by that. The thought of Icer prowling around campus unsupervised unsettled Zack to say the least.

Still, all of that could wait until morning. Zack emerged from the shower and slid into some gym shorts before falling onto bed, and pulled the blankets over his body. He didn’t plan on moving until morning, if at all. Saber’s class wasn’t until mid-afternoon, and if Zack was lucky, he might not have to get up until then. Sleep came quickly.

Zack felt the next morning's sun push through his bedroom curtains. Class could wait. Sure, he had had classes, but none of them were taught by his father’s likely killer, so he saw no reason to attend said classes. Still, he knew morning had come, but that didn’t mean he had to get up. He then felt something slender and metallic press against his lower lip, and into his nose. He heard a low voice just above him.

“Subject’s nasal cavities are consistent with a baseline human,” the voice said. “Though containing more dried nasal mucus than anticipated.”

Zack clenched his fist within the blankets. He had to take the intruder by surprise and take down quick, without any hesitation. Zack launched off the bed, thrusting his comforter into the intruder’s face. He then used his movement to shift all of his weight onto the intruder, who went down with minimal effort.

By the time both he and the intruder had fallen to the floor, Zack looked to see a familiar face looking at him through a mess of brown hair. Perry held his cell phone, clearly in record mode, to his mouth.

“Subject’s reflexes are clearly in line with a peak human, if not improved in nature,” Perry said.

“Perry, what the hell?” Zack said as he jerked up.

“I was conducting some experiments,” Perry said. Zack reached for a T-shirt and then slid into some jeans.

“You wanna tell me what the hell you were doing poking and prodding me like that?” Zack asked. “You know, most people buy me a drink first.”

“I just had to confirm it was really you,” Perry said.

“As opposed to what?” Zack said.

“Some artificial or mystical lifeform sent to infiltrate Innshadow for nefarious purposes,” Perry said.

“And what’s the prognosis,” Zack asked as he finished getting dressed, reaching for a flannel to complete the look.

Perry cleared his throat. “I’ve ruled out clone, robot and zombie. Though I haven’t ruled out alien, thought-form or bio-synthetic android.”

“Well, hell man, what do you need? My Social Security card?” Zack asked as he ran his fingers through his hair.

Perry seemed to consider this. “Do you have it handy?”

“It. Was. A. Joke.” Zack said. He had to remind himself, while little escaped Perry's microscopic vision, humor often went over his head.

Strangely enough, this was only the second strangest conversation Zack had had with Perry. Still, all things considered, he had missed these weird little exchanges with Perry, even despite his social awkwardness. They had been a refreshing part of his routine all those years ago.

“Babe, is your friend decent?” Zack heard a familiar feminine voice just outside the room.

“He is, though I’m still working to confirm his humanity,” Perry said.

“Thanks for that, buddy,” Zack said.

“I just hope I missed the part with the rubber gloves-”

A familiar-looking blonde girl walked in. She had traded her Innshadow U hoodie for a white jacket with a blue shirt and pale denim jeans. Her eyes sparked when she locked eyes with Zack.

“YOU!” they both said in unison.

Zack realized it was the tour guide who showed him around campus.

The one he had abandoned to be frozen during Icer’s attack on the Promenade.

The only thing he hadn’t quite figured out is what the hell she was doing here.

“You’re the asshole that left me to die in a supervillain attack!” she said. She then gave a loud sneeze. “I still have this freaking cold because of you!”

“Honey, as I’ve explained, being cold, even via a freeze ray, doesn’t in fact give you a cold,” Perry chimed in.

“Not. Helping. Babe.” The girl shot him a glare.

“Babe. Honey?” Zack raised his voice. “You’re his girlfriend?””

The girl glared at him next, her eyes flashing with anger. In that instance, Zack remembered the bolt of lightning she launched at Icer. He probably shouldn’t make her any angrier than he already had.

Perry jumped in between the two. “It seems you two already know each other.”

“Oh we’ve met,” the girl said, arms crossing her chest.

“That’s good. I’m glad we can skip over awkward introductions,” Perry said. Zack couldn’t tell if Perry was making a joke, or just that oblivious with the situation.

It was hard to tell with Perry sometimes.

“I didn’t get your name,” Zack said.

“Zack, this is my girlfriend-” he started.

“It’s Blake,” she said, her arms still crossed.

“I’m Zack,” he outstretched his arm. She ignored it. “Is Blake your first name or your last-”

“It’s her first,” Perry said.

“It’s just Blake,” she snapped.

It was clear Zack couldn’t do much to salvage this conversation. He was really striking out with women lately.

“Look, I’m sorry about the promenade,” he said. “I just panicked.”

Perry gave him a strange look.

“You? Panic? That’s so unlike anything I’ve seen during your Sideclique days,” Perry said.

Once again, little escaped Perry's observation. And he was right - Zack was always the first to leap into danger back in his Sideclique days. He had learned to be more measured in his approach after two years spent trying to track down his father's killer.

“What can I say? I’m out of practice," Zack replied with a shrug. "I haven’t been sidekicking for a couple years and the adrenaline got the best of me,”

Which was all technically true. He hadn’t been a sidekick for a while, and the excitement did override his senses that day. He probably should have done more for Blake, if only to maintain his cover.

Blake finally relinquished a bit too, if only with a shrug.

“I’m sorry if I…overreacted. I’m still getting used to my powers. They’re a recent development for me,” she said. “That’s why I didn’t shake your hand. I tend to electrocute people when I’m aggravated.”

Zack blinked. “Are you still aggravated?”

Blake regarded him with a cool expression and then offered him her hand.

“Maybe another time,” she said.

Blake turned to Perry. She took his hand with no fear of shocking him, apparently, and if she did, Perry showed no reaction.

“Well, babe, we have to get ready for class,” she said. “We should go.”

She gave Zack a cordial if slightly cool smile. “It was nice meeting you…Zack…don’t be a stranger.”

“Technically, I have yet to confirm that he is, in fact, not a stranger,” Perry interjected.

The pair left soon after. Zack watched them leave. What a weird couple, to say nothing of her refusing to shake his hand.

The two didn’t make sense. Perry never dated any in high school. He was way too nervous to talk to women. And here he was, with a cute blonde on his arm?

Something didn’t add up.

Blake must have had some sort of angle. What she wanted with Perry and his molecular vision, he couldn’t be sure, but it must not be good.

But that was a mystery for another day.

Right now Zack had work to do.

He felt a chill run down his spine.

Perfect timing.

Zack saw his breath visibly breath out in smoky tendrils as he shivered. He moved towards the source of the cold.

He found Icer in the living room, slouching on the couch, watching “The Price Is Right” with a bored expression.

“How long have you been sitting there?” he asked.

“Long enough,” the supervillain said. “So is your superpower that you naturally attract awkward conversations or do you actually go looking for them?”

“Cute,” Zack replied. “I have a job for you.”

Icer flipped off the TV and tossed aside the remote.

“Now you’re talking,” he said with a fittingly chilling smile.