Seven Steps to Becoming a Superhero

Zack met Scott Stephens outside the Alpha House. The Alpha House stood before him, a sprawling Victorian mansion in the center of campus. Zack had read up on the history of the place. Apparently, the house belonged to the founder of the college, Jeremiah Innshadow. The mansion was originally one of the administrative buildings, but had since been converted into the Alpha Sigma fraternity HQ. Zack began to step inside, wondering what secrets the house held, but Scott stopped in.

“Where you going, man?” Scott asked.

“Ummm…to the party,” Zack said.

“This is the party,” Scott said. Zack looked around, seeing a paltry few students drinking bottles of pop outside the Alpha House.

“Scott, your party is on life support,” Zack replied.

“Zachary,” Scott said. Zack hated it when he called him that. “Do you remember when we busted those drug-runners in the South Side a few years ago? All thanks to my supreme undercover skills.”

“You must have been sampling the merchandise,” Zack said, remembering his sidekick days. “The only reason those cartel boys didn’t waste you on sight is because they thought you were the world’s worst cop.”

“Okay, okay, we might see that incident a little differently,” Scott said. “But my point is…looks can be deceiving.”

“Trust me, I know the saying. I had to explain that to my dad when he showed up to the crime scene and found you wearing a dew rag, leather jacket and dangerously tight pants. It was not a pretty sight,” Zack said.

“Yeah, that wasn’t my finest moment,” Scott agreed. Zack laughed. His heart felt suddenly fuller than it had been in quite some time. He needed to remember the mission.

Attend the party. Make connections. Further his investigation.

Just as night began to fall, two high beams shined through the darkness. A campus patrol squad car rolled past slowly.

“Just on cue, the five-oh!” Scott said. “Raise your glass. Nothing going on here, officers, just two studs living their best life.”

Apparently satisfied, the police rolled past.

“Okay, now we can go to the party,” Scott said, as he turned towards the building.

“I thought you said this was the party,” Zack said.

“I said looks can be deceiving!” Scott said as he moved up the stairs. “Try to keep up.”

Once again, Zack made his way to the door of the Alpha House. This time Scott slapped his hand away.

“I said, the party’s not there,” Scott said.

“Then where is it?” Zack said.

“Like I said, try to keep up!” Scott said as he scurried up a ladder. Zack reluctantly followed him.

“So for the last half hour we were just decoys?” Zack asked as he moved up the ladder towards the roof.

“I prefer stalking horse,” Scott replied. “It sounds way cooler.”

“How long have you been a member of this frat?” Zack asked as he reached the roof only to see Scott squirming a bit.

“Technically I’m still a pledge. Been that way for about a year, but my time is coming,” Scott said. “I can feel it!”

On the roof of the Alpha House, Zack saw the view of the campus from the rooftop. Darkened spires spread across the night like gothic pyramids. Gargoyles feeled the view like a twisted sculpture garden. Zack turned to his friend.

“Okay, genius,” he said. “What now?”

“The answer is easy…” Scott said. “Now we…parkour!”

And with that, Scott got a running start and leapt across the rooftop, landing perfectly the adjacent rooftop several yards over. Zack sighed as he watched this athletic feat.

Scott turned back and yelled to him.

“Hope you haven’t gone soft….or skipped leg day!” Scott called.

Zack slid off his jacket and tied it along his waist.. He made sure his cell phone was secure. He didn’t want it falling out while he was racing across the rooftop.

“I’m waiting!” Scott called. Zack put his phone in the pocket and immediately charged forward. He then began to sprint across the rooftop, and before it ended, leapt across the empty space. He managed to clear the space between the rooftop, but his foot caught the raised edge of the next roof just as he landed, causing him to nearly trip and sprain his ankle. He avoided that fate only by rolling as he landed.

“Nice,” Scott said. “Though you lose some points on the dismount.”

“Jerk,” Zack replied.

“Don’t worry, buttercup,” Scott said. “You can make it up on the next jump. Parkour!”

With his battle cry, Scott got another running start before jumping across another, larger gap. As he ran, his super-speed kicked in and his features began to blur as he leapt across the roof in a flurry of motion. Zack was right behind him, getting another running start before jumping across the roof.

Once again, he cleared the roof, but once again, he stumbled as he landed, though he avoided doing bodily injury to himself this time.

Scott was right. He was out of practice. When he was a sidekick in Chicago, all of this was easy. He could jump across the rooftops with zero effort. With his father’s suit, he could just fly everywhere, no jumping required.

“Not bad. We’re almost there,” Scott said. “Parkour!”

Zack watched his friend leap across another rooftop. Thankfully, this next gap wasn’t so large. Zack followed suit, having little trouble reaching the next rooftop.

“You know, you don’t have cry parkour every time you jump across the rooftop,” Zack said. “And besides, parkour is so 2016.”

Scott didn’t stop moving. He kept running, looking over his shoulder as he ran for the next rooftop.

“You have to yell parkour otherwise it doesn’t count. Everyone knows that!” he said. “And parkour is forever!”

Scott began to leap for another rooftop, but this time, his foot caught on the rooftop’s higher edge. Zack saw this, running forward to grab his friend before he fell headlong off the roof. Zack caught Scott’s leg, just before he topped towards a particularly sharp spire, almost impaling himself just like his tour guide the other day warned.

He hoisted Scott back onto the roof with some effort.

“Thanks,” Scott said. “Then again, parkour is best exclaimed in moderation.”

The pair took the next rooftop with some trepidation. It was the hardest jump of all of them, largely due to the uneven heights of the windows. Fortunately, they were able to make it to the rooftop, and fortunately, neither one was impaled on a gargoyle.

“So we there yet?” Zack asked. He scanned the area for wherever the party was being held. He wondered if there was a secret passage somewhere on the rooftop. With all of the superheroes involved in Innshadow U, the possibilities were endless - teleporters, phase-through walls and magic portals were all a distinct possibility.

“Not so fast,” Scott replied.

“So what do we do?” Zack asked.

Scott shrugged. “Now…we climb.”

Scott stepped forward and began to climb a gargoyle on a particularly slanted roof. Zack sighed. What was the saying? When in Rome.

Zack could see the method to his friend’s madness though. The roof in question was far too slanted to be scaled on foot. Any attempt would most likely result in someone sliding down the rooftop into a turret or something.

Zack could see the destination in sight, however. A small window resided at the tip of the roof’s triangular shape. It was a small window, and most likely belonged to an attic or some sort. Ahead of him, Scott climbed to a different gargoyle, as Zack lifted himself with some exertion to the one Scott had just vacated.

Above him, several flying students streak through the starry night, coming to perch on the windowsill. One of them looked down at them.

“Oh wow, that looks like it sucks,” he said. “Uhh, keep it up. You’ll get there!”

And then he and his friends entered the windowsill without a second thought.

“Seriously?” Zack cried as he struggled to gain purchase on a nearby gargoyle’s wing.

“Keep climbing!” Scott urged. After several more minutes of grunting, the pair reached the windowsill and climbed into a small room. Zack had been right. It looked like a storage attic of some sort, and not a big one.

One door separated them from the party.

“Do we need to know a password?” Zack asked.

Scott reached for the door. “Password? Wasn’t that whole ordeal enough? If you know the location and you can get here, you can attend. And besides, it’s not like anyone’s going to try to rob this.”

Scott opened the door. Zack’s eyes were nearly blinded by the dazzling display. Nearly four or five dozen students filled the room, with many holding plastic red cups filled to the brim with alcoholic substances. Above him fliers danced in the high sloped ceiling. The place looked like it had more in common with a church than a school building.

Zack had found the party. And it didn’t disappoint.