Separation Anxiety

26.

#Family Gathering

The housekeeper entered carrying a large box.

“What’s that?” Dawoon asked.

“The young master sent it. He said to wear this when you come.”

Opening the box revealed a suit.

“Oh, this too,” the housekeeper added, placing down another small box. This time it was shoes.

“It feels strange,” Dawoon muttered, examining the suit. Although he had attended his grandfather’s birthday gatherings every year, it had never been with such a formal three-piece suit. Hayun had always said that a casual suit was enough since Dawoon was still a student.

Yet this time, Hayun had sent a three-piece suit complete with a tie. It was a suit that seemed to remind him that he was now an adult.

“Young Master Haram is already prepared and waiting downstairs. The car is ready, so you can leave as soon as you change.”

There didn’t seem to be any other choice. Dawoon nodded in understanding and changed his clothes. As he fumbled with the unfamiliar three-piece suit, the housekeeper approached to help straighten the lines and tie his necktie.

“Brother!” Haram greeted Dawoon as he came down to the lobby. Ms. Lim, Haram’s tutor who was standing beside him, gave a slight nod to Dawoon. Ever since hearing about her from Hayun, Dawoon couldn’t take her courteous behavior at face value.

“Is Ms. Lim coming too?” Dawoon asked, noticing she was also dressed formally.

“The young master asked me to come along,” she replied with a shy smile, as if expecting something. It was strange that Hayun had asked her to come. Wasn’t he uncomfortable with her?

“The young master designated Ms. Lim to look after Young Master Haram,” the housekeeper added. This still didn’t make sense to Dawoon. Every year at this gathering, it had been Dawoon’s role to look after Haram. No one had assigned this task, but Haram always sought out Dawoon, and Dawoon felt at ease caring for Haram. So why bring someone else to look after Haram this year?

The gathering was never comfortable to begin with, but today, Dawoon had a bad feeling even before departing.

***

After about a 30-minute drive, the car carrying Dawoon, Haram, and Ms. Lim arrived at Chairman Jeong Tae-seong’s mansion on the outskirts of Seoul. Passing through tall gates and driving further in, Ms. Lim silently gasped as she looked out the window. While the mansion where the three Jeong brothers lived was not small, it was nothing compared to the Chairman’s estate.

“I wondered why the Chairman of Haedo Group wouldn’t book a separate venue for his birthday gathering, but now I understand,” Ms. Lim muttered, unable to take her eyes off the mansion building that was coming into view. “It’s like something out of a movie or drama. I didn’t know places like this existed in Korea.”

Dawoon showed no reaction to her words. There was no need to tell her that as grand and magnificent as it was, it felt suffocating.

“I wonder what it feels like to live in a place like that,” she mused, inadvertently revealing her true thoughts. Dawoon chuckled inwardly. He could guess what kind of dreams she was harboring, but they were far-fetched. Even if Hayun reciprocated her feelings, there was no way grandfather would allow it. Having witnessed firsthand how his grandfather treated his mother, Dawoon knew this better than anyone.

“We’ve arrived,” the driver announced, stopping the car. As if they had been waiting, men standing in front of the mansion approached to open the car doors. Ms. Lim stepped out with a flushed face, as if feeling like a princess, but Dawoon’s expression remained calm. He got out first and extended his hand to Haram inside. The child who until last year would have reached out with both arms asking to be carried, now took Dawoon’s hand and stepped out of the car on his own.

“Welcome. Please proceed inside,” the men at the front guided them. However, Dawoon didn’t move. Haram looked up at him. Ms. Lim also looked at him, wondering why he wasn’t going in.

Dawoon’s gaze turned to the entrance. The large white doors were wide open, revealing the inside. Many people seemed to have arrived already, visible moving about in the lobby. Most of the faces were familiar.

Though he recognized them from seeing them every year, there were many he had never spoken to. No one approached Dawoon to start a conversation, and Dawoon, focusing only on Haram, didn’t greet them either.

Once again, a solitary silence amidst the splendor and commotion would repeat itself. He would have to endure like this for a good three or four hours.

It’s okay. Haram is here.

He slightly tightened his grip on Haram’s small hand.

“Grandfather!” Haram’s shout made Dawoon’s body stiffen even more. Turning his head, he saw Chairman Jeong walking out from inside the mansion. Haram let go of Dawoon’s hand and ran towards him. Dawoon’s fingertips twitched as Haram’s hand slipped away.

Chairman Jeong bent down to greet Haram. As the child smiled brightly and hugged him, a benevolent smile appeared on the Chairman’s face. It was a smile Dawoon had never seen before. Even when dealing with Hayun, he had never smiled so warmly.

Although Dawoon knew the Chairman occasionally visited to see Haram, last year he had been studying late at school as a high school senior and hadn’t had the chance to encounter them. It seemed Haram had really grown comfortable with his grandfather in the meantime. While relieved that Haram’s experience was different from his own, Dawoon felt a cool breeze enter through a hole that seemed to have opened in his chest.

Haram pointed towards Dawoon with his finger. He seemed to be saying he had come with Dawoon. Only then did the Chairman’s gaze turn to Dawoon. Dawoon swallowed dryly and bowed deeply. The Chairman’s eyes, which had briefly rested on Dawoon, turned to Ms. Lim standing beside him. His eyebrows furrowed slightly upon seeing her. It was immediately clear from his expression that he disapproved.

“You’ve brought an unnecessary person,” he said, approaching Dawoon with Haram. Ms. Lim’s face reddened with embarrassment at being called unnecessary. Although Dawoon could guess how she felt, he had no energy to spare for her. It was overwhelming enough to deal with the Chairman’s dissatisfied expression as he looked between Dawoon and Ms. Lim.

“I instructed it,” came a voice from behind, and Dawoon felt his blocked airways clear. Turning around, he saw Hayun just getting out of the car. Ms. Lim’s expression also brightened, seemingly glad for his appearance.

“Someone was needed to look after Haram,” Hayun said, approaching and standing in front of Dawoon. Thanks to this, the grandfather’s figure was no longer visible, and only Hayun’s back filled Dawoon’s view.

“As if there wouldn’t be people here to look after Haram,” the Chairman responded.

“Dawoon has always done it until now,” Hayun replied without hesitation. The Chairman fell silent for a moment. Dawoon couldn’t dare imagine what expression he might be making now.

“Dawoon isn’t the person to look after Haram,” came the next words, making Dawoon’s heart sink. Until now, it had never been explicitly stated. Still, Dawoon knew his role. This was the extent to which grandfather acknowledged his existence at these gatherings. Knowing this, they had both avoided showing it or mentioning it. And now, Hayun was openly bringing it up.

Dawoon feared how his grandfather would react. In his memories, the grandfather always glared at him with a frowning face. If anything displeased him even slightly, a thunderous scolding that could shake the mansion would follow.

As he unconsciously tried to take a step back, Hayun grabbed Dawoon’s wrist. While his gaze was still directed at the Chairman, the grip on Dawoon’s wrist seemed to warn him not to retreat.

“Hmm,” the Chairman only let out a short groan before turning away. The dreaded scolding Dawoon had worried about didn’t come. After he went inside with Haram, a loud exhale was heard. It wasn’t Dawoon who had sighed. It was Ms. Lim.

“Can I really go in?” she asked Hayun anxiously, seeming to realize that this might not be a place for her after all. Hayun turned to look at her but didn’t give a clear answer. Haram, who should have been her shield, had already gone inside with the Chairman.

Instead of answering her question, Hayun turned to Dawoon.

“The clothes suit you well,” he said lightly. Looking up at his words, Dawoon saw Hayun smiling. He seemed pleased with the outfit he had chosen.

“Our Dawoon has really grown up,” he added. At the phrase “our Dawoon,” Ms. Lim’s face stiffened slightly. Dawoon, not noticing her expression, looked up at Hayun.

“I feel like I’m suffocating to death,” Dawoon said. While the three-piece suit was uncomfortable as it was his first time wearing one, the very air of this place was suffocating. Knowing this, Hayun pretended not to understand and slightly loosened Dawoon’s tie.

“Is this okay?” Dawoon asked, wondering if he shouldn’t be properly dressed. In response, Hayun chuckled and completely undid Dawoon’s tie. He even unbuttoned one of Dawoon’s shirt buttons, making him more comfortable. Seeing this, Dawoon took a small breath. Hayun was voluntarily making himself look disheveled for Dawoon’s sake.