Self Made [Harry Potter fanfic]

I couldn’t help but smile wryly at the scene unfolding in front of me. For one there is Draco running around like a headless chicken taking each wand he can in hand before letting go to take another as if they are going to flee from him. Then there is me standing by my father as we watch the chaos unfold. It’s been a week since our tenth birthday and let me tell you the celebration was an absolute pain in the arse.

 

Picture this, a noble ball full of wizard bigots accompanied by their child bigots and wife bigots. Not only that but I had to actively interact with the bunch while having a small polite smile on my face. Worst of all was the decorum at the moment of eating. It was cheer torture to stop myself from single handedly devouring the delicacies served on the open buffet. 

 

Anyway, my wry smile at the moment isn’t due to the mess Draco was making but instead from the feeling the many wands in the room were giving me. One very neat advantage of having your magic mixing with your vitality is the sheer sensitivity it provides. It’s like having a whole new set of senses allowing me to feel everything magic. 

 

Unfortunately for me, at the moment those same senses were telling me to avoid the room as a whole. The feeling was that of being watched by a bunch of hostile people or giving me disgusted looks. I could make an educated guess as to why but that didn’t mean I enjoyed it.    

 

Taking a deep breath I decided to bite the bullet… or wand? spell? Whatever, I will have my introspection on the linguistic complexities of sayings applied to the magical world later. As I took my fist step inside the room the feeling of hostility and disgust I received from the wands increased the closer I got to them. 

 

Wands, as a whole, are ever so slightly sentient. This is the reason they have personalities as well as preferences. They also have things or attributes they like in the wizards they choose as well as dislikes. It just so happens that every single wand here dislikes me intensely. 

 

With I sigh I took another step as I cursed the stupid wands under my breath. My best bet as to why they hate me so much is my unique constitution. What I mean by this is that they find my magic repulsive due to its mixture with my life force. Really what a pain in the arse, if that is the case chances are I will hate going to Ollivanders for my actual wand as much as the stupid wands will hate my presence there.   

 

I hadn't realized it back then but it looks like that bit of disgust I felt from my parents in the past wasn’t coming from them but from their wands. I always wondered what was up with that. Sometimes I would feel hated in their presence and at others there would be nothing. It just so happens that that hated feeling only came up when they pulled out their wands. 

 

As I kept walking around while keeping a safe distance from the wands my concentration was on feeling the different levels of hatred and disgust I felt from them. I was trying to find the one with the least amount of those emotions. Afterall trying to use a wand that hated you wasn’t easy nor safe. After a while I finally found one that didn’t have a smidge of hatred or disgust for me. As a matter of fact it felt indifferent and sad. 

 

Taking the box the wand was placed in I looked at the tag with its info. Acacia with a cherub’s hair core, twelve inches. Original owner Melinda Malfoy, my great grand aunt. After reading the tag I finally understood why the wand didn’t hate me. To put it simply, the damned thing was too depressed to hate anyone. 

 

I did my homework when it came to wands. I read every single book on veritology, that is the name for wand making by the way, in our library to prepare myself for my wand. After all, there are some wands that wouldn’t work with you unless you did certain things. So I instantly knew what’s up with this wand. 

 

A wand with a cherub’s hair core tends to be a romantic wand. What I mean about this is that the wand falls in love with their wilder, the deeper the wand is in love with their wilder the more powerful it becomes. These types of wands tend to choose good looking people the most. Acacia as the wound makes wands very loyal and stubborn earn an acacia’s wand loyalty and you won’t ever lose it. Combine that for a helpless romantic wand, one that after losing its love became depressed like nothing you have ever seen before. 

 

I am surprice the poor thing is still functional. Wands can ‘die’ for lack of a better word. Some, like those with unicorn hair ‘die’ when mistreated for a long time. Cherub’s hair wands tend to ‘die’ when their beloved wilder dies. My best guess as to why this wand is still ‘alive’, if barely, is because of its stubborn nature from the acacia wood. 

 

‘At least it won’t fight me every step of the way’ I thought while thinking about all the other wands around. Chances are, this wand will let me use it only because it's too depressing to do otherwise. Unfortunately for me this means that a hundred percent of the effort needed to cast magic will be coming from me as I won’t be getting any aid from this wand. 

 

‘Seeing how things went here I should start trying to get materials that will be compatible with me to have a custom made wand. Either that or I should make my own wand.’ With that added to my mental list I took the wand from the box. As soon as my fingers held it I felt its insurmountable melancholy and sadness. 

 

“Hey there, I know I won’t ever be able to replace your beloved but I hope we at least become friends. Getting out of that box and this stuffy room should be a bit better at least.” I whispered to the wand trying to make it feel better. I don’t want to feel all of this sadness and melancholy every time I use it. Not to mention that doing this should help even if a little in using it.      

 

My efforts seemed to have paid off as the wand’s ever present depressing feeling lessened a little, a tinsy winsy little bit. Like let's say fill an olympic pool with water then take out a drop, that much. Yeah, this was going to be a new pain in the arse. Sure, ask the least empathic person in the entire Malfoy household to give therapy to a chronically depressed wand. 

 

With that in mind I placed the wand back in its box before walking back. Ten minutes later of standing next to father without doing much while watching Draco run around and we were out of the room. Draco had tested almost every single wand before settling on one. The one he chose was quite similar to the one he would get from Ollivanders in the near future. Only difference was an inch in length as it was shorter. 

 

“Here are the rules. You will use your wands responsibly, no taking the wounds out of the mansion’s grounds. If I find you misusing them you will lose them. Am I clear?” With a nod both me and Draco affirmed our understanding of the rules. Though I suspect Draco will lose his by the end of the month. They way he was almost vibrating in place told me so.

 

Wand in hand the I got to my room to try and gain some more favor from the depressed thing. I had prepared to take care of whatever wand I chose or was chosen by. I had asked Gurry to buy me a wand maintenance kit which I was going to use now, I also asked him to get me a wand holster. 

 

Gently taking the wand out of its box I got to work. First things first I dampened a piece of cloth. The poor thing was dusty, no surprise there seeing as I doubt anyone but its original wilder ever used it. After giving it a good cleaning I took a very fine sheet of sandpaper. The wand’s original coat of varnish had long flaked and fallen off with only a tiny bit of the stuff remaining. After removing the little varnish remaining on the wand I took another cloth and gently began to apply a new coat of varnish. 

 

“I hope this makes you feel better, if only a little bit” With that said I sat back and rested while waiting for the varnish to harden. It would take an hour or so but I decided to give it twice that time just to be safe. Meanwhile I got a book and began to read to kill time. 

 

“You know, for what is worth, I want to thank you for not being hostile to me like the others” I said while taking the wand to finish the job I had started two hours ago. Now that the varnish had finished drying I took a new piece of cloth as well as some wax. With care I began to polish the wand making sure to apply an even coat while reaching every nook and cranny of the thing.    

 

“There, all done, you look as good as new.” I said while admiring my work. The wand itself appreciated my work as I felt its gratitude buried deep in its sadness, at least it was there. Inspecting my work for one last time I decided to give casting magic a try. Having read almost every book in the family's library I had enough knowledge to at least cast some basic charms or I hoped so. 

 

“Lumos.”After saying the words and waving the correct pattern a small light appeared on the tip of my wand. Though when I say small I mean it. It looked like a firefly had just landed on the tip of my wand. Not only that but the charm didn’t even last ten seconds before going out. 

 

“Baby steps I guess. Though you did great for being unused for almost two centuries now.” I said while trying to get my depressed wand a bit less depressed. Overall I was happy, I had finally managed to cast magic. Not only that but this could even be considered a boon. See, since my wand wasn’t helping me it meant all magic I would be casting for the next year would be entirely due to me, this would be a great tool for training. When I get a proper wand all my effort would pay dividends as my power would effectively multiply. 

 

The next day went as I expected with mother teaching us magic. I paid close attention to everything taught which for today consisted of the theoreticals of the lumos charm. Tomorrow we will get to try the thing. Draco for his part became impatient and paid little to no attention. 

 

Time continued to flow by and a week later my lumos had managed to grow a bit in power. Now working more like a weak christmas tree light instead of a firefly. Draco was still unable to even cast the spell despite having a cooperative wand. Talking about wands, mine's depression had diminished a bit more. She and I will be calling her a she from now on because that is the impression she gave me yesterday while cleaning her. Anyway, she seems a bit happier now, like a recently widowed woman that had started to hang out with friends after a long bout of depression.   

 

By the end of the month as I expected Draco lost his patience and tried to cast a more powerful spell he found in a book in the library. Would you guess it the deepshit tried to cast the bombarda spell and succeeded partially by blowing a small hole in the wall and burning his eyebrows. He lost his wand rights after that and wouldn’t get them back until we receive our Hogwarts letter next year. 

 

Draco has taken to pestering me about lending him my wand since he didn’t want to get behind. I knew better than to let him anywhere near my wand since I am sure he wanted it to cause trouble. Not to mention that my wand had started to finally get out of its depression. She had started to aid me a little here and there though I asked her not to since I still wanted to practice like that. She got a bit depressed after that thinking I didn’t like her but I made sure to fix that misunderstanding. The little bugger had grown on me and I wouldn’t let all my effort go down the drain, I would probably keep it even after getting a properly fitted wand for myself if only to keep her as a friend. 

 

Now that I think of it I don’t have friends, Draco is my brother while Crabbe and Goyle are his friends not mine. My only friend after ten years of new life is a wand… Who needs friends anyway, I am fine all by myself. Going back to the talk of wands I have Gotten my hands on some bloodwood. Despite its name the thing doesn’t grow by drinking blood or some such. It’s just the non-scientific name the muggles gave it due to its and its sap’s coloration. 

 

Why did I get blood wood despite it having nothing to do with actual blood? Well, magic is weird and belief has some effect on it. So maybe bloodwood will be more compatible with my vitality induced magic. Not like I am leaving everything to something as fickle as believes. I am actually soaking the twenty by five by five piece of wood in a blood bath made of my own blood on a daily basis. It has take its toll on my vitality reserves but fuck it, if it works then it was worth it.