Secrets (Ruin My Life) – Lookism [BL]

Daniel dejectedly stared at his phone. “Ha…” He already lost count on how many times he had sighed for the past two weeks. He angrily grabbed his phone and almost throw it across the room, but then he tried so hard to hold himself. In the end, he didn’t have the heart to destroy his phone because it was a gift from Gun. Speaking of Gun… That fucker didn’t even call him at all! Daniel had been waiting like a fool since the first days, but then he started to lose hope last week.

Gun also didn’t guard Crystal to the school, but obviously, Daniel couldn’t ask her about his whereabouts. He thought sadly that Gun probably only teased him and didn’t mean his words at all. That he was a fool who took the asshole’s words seriously. Well, it’s not like this was the first time that Gun didn’t fulfil his own words. That bastard loved to speak bullshits and later twisted it to his own benefits.

On the other hand, Daniel’s head was giving him some kinds of logical thoughts. Maybe… maybe Gun had already bored of him? Maybe he started to dislike him since Daniel became clingy? If it’s like that, it meant that Daniel could be freed from this madness! No more fear and no more… heartache?! Maybe Gun had just one-sidedly ended their relationship and took no efforts to inform the other. Well, all of it made sense because Gun was a selfish bastard.

Daniel also knew that Gun always hated clingy person. He had heard him rudely cut off women who begged him to be their boyfriend. And he still remembered clearly the other’s words, “These bitches… I slept with them a couple of times and then they acted like we’re married.”

From then on, Daniel made sure to conceal his feelings so that Gun would not despise him. Even though it hurt him to always smell different types of perfume, to see new marks that he didn’t make, to be disappointed over and over again, still, he decided to endure it all. Back then, he was confidence that he could do it and just patiently waiting by Gun’s side. However, when Daniel finally realized that his heart had broken into pieces, it was already too late.

“Gun… you fucker… I’ll hate you if you don’t call me tonight…” He mumbled while placing his phone down. After that, he decided to distract himself by watching a movie. It was pretty sad that he had to spend his weekend alone. Since midterm was coming, Zack decided to spend his time studying with Mira. He even kindly informed that whoever dared to join would be smashed by his hands.

…

The movie that Daniel watched was a romance, recommended by many online articles. Also, he had overheard the girls in his class, it seemed that they really loved it. It was about a billionaire who fell in love with an ordinary girl. The man was gentle, caring, and sexy.  He fell in love at the first sight and chased after the woman until she fell in love too. Then, he fought his family and insisted on marrying her. In the end, he let go all of his wealth and lived happily ever after with the woman he loved. Daniel snorted and said, “If it’s a real life, there’s no way a person would abandon his possessions over love.” At the age of 18, he had seen too much of people’s greed.

Now that his movie finally ended, Daniel moved his gaze to his phone. There’s still no new notification at all. He sighed and laid down on his bed, drifting his mind to the dark cloud. He really missed Gun… He hated the fact that whenever he had free time, he would unconsciously think about the older. He had grown accustomed to the other and so when he couldn’t meet him, he felt empty. He didn’t like this before. When both of them started to be sex partner, Daniel never cared if Gun only met him once every one or two months. He just enjoyed the sex and that’s it.

He didn’t know what went wrong. Before he found the answer, their sex had become regular, each thrust sent him to heaven, and then he fell in love.

Their first meeting was when Daniel still worked as a part-timer at the convenience store. Life was really hard for him at that time. His mother just passed away from a sickness, leaving him alone in this world with some debts. With her mother’s savings, he ran away to Seoul and made a plan to register himself in a low-quality school.

Sadly, his money could only pay for his education, but not his rent and daily needs. Although he was handsome and tall, no one wanted to hire an underage boy who didn’t have a guardian. He almost gave up his education, but then a moustache man offered him to be a part-timer and acted as his guardian. He even pulled his connection here and there. Daniel didn’t care even if he only took advantage of his look, what matter was that he could survive. Ever since then, he worked on a night shift at a convenient store.

There were so many scary, yet weird people at night. One would buy so many bottles of soju every day, one would buy snacks only at midnight, and one would spend her times stealing glances at him. Also, there was this one person who always wore sunglasses and only bought condoms. It was Gun.

His first impression about Gun was- OHH!! SCARY!! MOM, PLEASE PROTECT ME FROM HEAVEN!!

Daniel was trembling as he stuttered his words, “Th- thank you for- shopping here.” The other didn’t answer him at all and coldly made his way to the exit.

“Woah…” He curiously stole glances, “Look at that body and tattoos. Might be a gangster…”

However, since that cold man never paid any attention nor made troubles, Daniel slowly relaxed and treated him just as another customer. He would casually comment about the weather tomorrow and told him to prepare an umbrella or maybe giving some empty encouragement words.

“Thank you for coming, sir.” He smiled to the other. Another condom? It must be nice to have a girlfriend, Daniel innocently thought. The other ignored him like usual and went into his own car, “Nice car,” Daniel muttered. When the store was empty, Daniel unlocked his phone and looked at the calendar. It almost a new term. He couldn’t wait to go into a new school and meet new friends. Thus, he excitedly curved his mouth as his heart beat with excitement.

…

One day, the night rained heavily with a strong wind, making it unsafe to drive or even walk outside. “Huh? The weather forecast is wrong today.” Daniel sighed. It was 1 AM and with this heavy rain, no one would go inside the store, but then he was wrong.

Suddenly the door’s bell rang, “Welcome!” Daniel turned his head. Oh! It was that gangster man! His hair was drenched a little and fell down to his face, unlike his usual neat appearance. For the first time ever, he didn’t walk into the men’s health category. Instead, he stopped in front of the ramyeon’s section, pay for it, and then clumsily operated the stove.

Since he was a good employee, Daniel naturally approached a customer who faced troubles. “Excuse me, sir. May I help you?” He purposely made a big smile to the other. A dead silence followed his offer, Am I too noisy? Yet, for the first time ever, Daniel finally heard his voice.

“Sure.”

“Then please sit down. I will serve it for you when it’s ready.” With that, Gun let him handled the noodle and lazily stared outside of the glass window. Daniel observed him for a little and assumed that this man didn’t really know how to cook. Hm, perhaps he usually bought his food outside?

When the ramyeon was done, Daniel served it and return to the cashier. He cupped his chin while observing at the handsome, yet expressionless man, who appeared really starving tonight. The ramyeon’s aroma spread across the store and it made him hungry too. And so, Daniel rummaged through the expired cart below and found a triangle kimbap. He almost devoured the whole kimbap when suddenly a new customer entered.

“Wel- AHHH!” Daniel didn’t finish his words and shrieked, “Mister! Please dry yourself first before walking in!!”

A man in his 40s had just dirtied the entire floor with mud and rain drops. Even though Daniel’s voice was loud enough, he pretended not to hear him and walked directly to the alcohol section. “Oh no!” Daniel muttered, “I can’t let him dirty the entire store!” With that, Daniel quickly blocked the man from entering farther. “Mister, please dry yourself first!”

However, now that he stood in front of him, Daniel could clearly smell alcohol and frowned his eyebrows. Oh, man, this mister is already drunk and he still want to buy more?

“Go… away…” The old man vaguely muttered. “Sir? If you’re going to behave like this, I’m going to call for the police.” Daniel sent out an empty threat to scare him away. Suddenly, that man howled crazily, “POLICE?!! FUCK YOU!!” He swung his arm randomly without a clear focus while he cursed the police. “Those fuckers! Don’t even help me retrieve my money! MY MONEY!”

Daniel easily dodged the punches, but he didn’t dare to fight back. He’s afraid in case he created a trouble for the store owner. That old man disgustingly spat to the floor and destroyed the snacks display. “NO!! MY BABIES!!” Daniel was devastated at the mess and finally wanted to fight back out of rage, “Asshole like you don’t deserve to be respected!”

He almost tossed his punch, but then the old man was yanked to the floor in a second. Daniel watched dumbfoundedly as the old man whimpered pathetically on the floor. He raised his head to meet with a wolf’s cold aura.

“You dirty son of a bitch.” And so, the drunkard was dragged outside by his collar.

Daniel didn’t have the time to watch the entire fights as he stared the wreckage in horror. The displays had collapsed, the white floor now was brown with mud, and there was that man’s saliva too.  Fuck, it would take him his remaining shift to clean the dirt. “You okay?” A strange, yet calm voice resounded behind him. Daniel turned his back dejectedly with tears on his eyes, “No, I’m not! Mister, look at this mess!”

The other lazily looked pass the employee and shook his shoulder. “Well, at least I taught him a lesson.” Daniel lowered his gaze and pointed the other’s knuckles. “I- is that blood?” The man just ignored him, pulled a handkerchief, and wiped his hands right away. “Anyway, I usually charge people for using my service. But then, you just cooked me a meal, so this time is on the house.”

Daniel astonishedly stared at him and blurted, “Mister, do you make a living by beating people?”

“Yes, and stop calling me mister. How old are you, huh?”

“Me? I’m 17.”

“Well, I’m 19. Next time don’t be so formal with me.”

“Wait- YOU’RE 19??!”

Once again, Daniel didn’t get his answer as the 19 years old young man casually left the messy store. He wanted to run after him, but he couldn’t leave the store unattended. He was left alone in this chaos.

Hearing a thunder, Daniel quickly returned to his cruel reality. He had to transform back the store before the owner came! He dragged his feet to the storage to grab the cleaning tools. He made sure not to leave a dirt on the floor and returned the place to normal.

Crouching for too long, Daniel stretched his back only to see that the morning light had come. “Man, did I spend 3 hours to clean?” Then, he sighed relievedly, “Thank God, I can finish earlier since no customer came by.”

His shift was almost over, but it didn’t mean he had time to relax. He grabbed the outdoor broom and went outside the store. He took a deep breath and muttered, “Woah, the morning air is fresh!”

He swept the fallen leaves and stacked it into a big pile. Again, he stretched his sore back and finally realized something nearby. That black car… with a tattooed hand that sticked out, holding a cigarette. So, he didn’t leave? What was he doing there on his car alone?

He didn’t know where the courage came from, but now Daniel had stood beside the door. “Morning,” He smiled sweetly. “I thought you’re already left last night.” The one inside the car only made a short answer, “I’m too lazy to drive. How’s the cleaning?”

“It’s super terrible,” Daniel pouted his cheek. “I hope that mister would never come back again.” Again, he didn’t reply and casually reached towards his wallet to pull out a small card. “If someone bothers you, just call me and I’ll take care of it.”

“Pfft! But I have no money to pay you,”

“It’s fine, as long as you can make ramyeon for me again,”

Daniel felt his heart skipped a beat by those simple words, but he quickly brushed it off, “Sure then!”

He actually wanted to talk much longer, but then he saw that his boss was coming. “Boss!” He exclaimed. He quickly left his ‘new friend’ and went to welcome the owner.

His boss was a moustache man with short body, making him looked soft and approachable. Boss almost pushed the front door when he froze his body, “Daniel, what is the meaning of this?”

“Wh- what?”

He awkwardly looked to the front door too and saw that the sign was displayed as closed! “EH?!” He quickly waved his hands and spoke, “Boss! I didn’t do it, I swear!”

“Then? Who do you think change the sign?! The wind??!!” He said angrily. His voice even went up higher as he thought that Daniel lied to him.

“Ah! It does make sense, Boss!” Daniel tried to convince him. He made sure to put all of his might to sound convincing. “I mean, the wind last night was superr strong! It even knocked down our chairs outside!”

“Hm…” He narrowed his eyes and grumbled, “It did make sense. Never mind, you can rest now. Good job for today, Daniel.”

With that, his boss entered the store and Daniel patted his chest to ease his nervousness. Since when did the sign turn to closed?? He thought that it was a coincidence that no customer disturbed his cleaning, but now he started to wonder… Did the wind really help him?

…

Not far from them, the culprit listened to the whole conversation and smirked, “Stupid.” He tossed his last cigarette and finally drove his car away.

 

 

To be continued…