Secrets (Ruin My Life) – Lookism [BL]

“Gun,” Daniel softly called the other.

“Hm,” Both of them had just finished a steamy night together and now Daniel lazily hugged the older’s waist. Gun’s fingers were also trailing up and down along his spine as he sat and smoked on the bed. Daniel opened his mouth a couple of times, but couldn’t find the right words to say his thoughts.

“Hey,” Gun tilted up the younger’s chin and smirked below, “Cat got your tongue?” Hearing the words, Daniel felt his face blushed and muttered, “N- no. It’s just…” He exhaled and changed his position to sit so that their eyes level matched. “I’ve been thinking…” He gulped and continued, “If one day we have to face each other in a fight… What would you do?”

Gun didn’t answer right away and breathed out smoke from his nose. Then, he caressed the other’s cheek and said, “I always follow people who pay me more,” Daniel frowned a little at those words as he continued, “You should stop standing on my way, you know. Your friends… will only bring a path of destruction for you. And I won’t show them any mercy.”

“Including me?”

“Yes.”

…

Gun groaned as he woke up the next morning. He felt so dizzy and dreaming only made it worse. The last thing he remembered was that he went drinking with an old acquittance. He frowned at the fuzzy memories and wondered how did he went back to his apartment. Suddenly, he heard chopping sounds from the kitchen. The only one who would make effort to cook for him was only that person. “Daniel?” He murmured. He quickly stood up, without bothering to wear even a piece of fabric on his body.

It was already two weeks since the last time he saw the other. He was ordered so suddenly by the chairman to take over Goo’s jobs for a moment. That bastard was suddenly admitted to the hospital because of food poisoning and whined about how he almost died. Thus, Gun reluctantly had to manage and collect money from over than 400 places by himself. He was so pissed off because he had to go back to his old job. Guarding a princess was much better than handling a bunch of useless kids. And so, he didn’t have the time to contact Daniel. Hell, he didn’t even eat for most of the time. That bastard Goo… he had to bill him for his service.

Back to the present, Gun already dragged his tired body outside of the bedroom. He didn’t know why, but he was really eager to meet Daniel. However, as soon as he reached the kitchen, an unfamiliar back welcomed him. Sensing a piercing gaze from behind, that man turned his body and grinned, “Oh, man. Gun, do you want a round two or something? Wear clothes, for God’s sake,”

“Johan, what the fuck are you doing here?”

The temperature dropped down drastically and left chilling pains on Johan. “What?” Johan also lowered his voice and stared right at Gun’s black eyes. The grin had left his face as quick as a lightning, “Do you forget how I satisfied your body last night? That’s... unfortunate, but you still have to pay, you know.”

Gun didn’t have the time to entertain the kid in front of him and so he dragged the kid’s collar and throwed him far away from the kitchen. This belonged to Daniel’s only. They had spent countless days of their morning, trying to make edible foods together, and there’s no way Gun would allow another person used all of these utensils. His expression right now was murderous as he looked down to Johan.

“You’re really hopeless. After your crew abandoned you, now look at you. A prostitute,” He sneered and questioned him coldly, “What did you put on my drink last night?” Johan clenched his fist and replied, “Drugs. Enough to make you lost your minds and fucked me breathless,”

Gun snapped as he mercilessly kicked the other’s stomach. Johan made a painful groan as his hair was grabbed harshly, “You bitch. I’ve already fucked you once and now what? You dare to drugged me? Who do you think you are?!” He sent another punch to Johan’s face since he was really furious. When he arrived at the God Dog area, he met Johan and found out that he had sold his body for men. At first, he wasn’t that interested, but then he found himself frustrated by the other’s provocation.

“I’ve paid you a million won, you asshole. Do you have to be this low and force the same man to sleep with you again?!”

Johan gritted his teeth and replied, blood trickled from his nose, “Yeah, I don’t mind. We both love money, right? The only difference about us is our method. I drugged you a little, so what? You felt so good, you won’t leave my ass unattended!”

!

Gun delivered a hard slap to his face; anger had consumed him. Shit, last night was his last day to fill for Goo since that bastard had finally healthy again. He had made a plan to call Daniel so that he could meet up or something. However, this whore in front of him now, had dragged him last night, saying that he needed some help to beat a person who didn’t pay for his service. He had become too soft in this dark world, he forgot that so many people deserved a beating. Looked at him now, fallen into a trap that was set by a kid. His pride was totally trampled at this moment.

Johan chuckled and said, “It’s fine if you want to beat me too as long as you promised to pay,” His face was totally ugly as blood and tears mixed in one, “Crying?” Gun snorted, “You think I’ll let you go if you act like a little bitch?” Gun slammed his head to the cold floor and stepped on it. He looked down and sent a shiver to the boy’s body, “If I see you again around this area, I’ll kill you.” Johan didn’t answer and grit his teeth as he saw punches were coming for him. Then not long after that, he passed out from the beatings.

It was fine, he thought. He knew how much money Gun and Goo made each year, a million won was probably a joke for them. He sold his body to Goo too, but then when he met Gun again, he went for a bet, thinking that maybe Gun also liked men and shamelessly seduced the other. It was fine, he thought. Gun was rougher than any other men he had slept before, but it was fine. He didn’t mind kneeling and opening his legs, as long as he could see his mother’s smile once again. It was fine. Mother… everything would be alright.

…

Gun exhaled as he vented his anger. Johan had long passed out and he was in a sorry state. Bloods were splashed across his body and he suddenly felt dirty. He went to take a shower before he finally turned on his phone. He inhaled a lot of smoke into his lungs as he tried to calm his mind. Life was shit to him, but thank God, at least, he had money to spend. He had some unread messages from Goo, Crystal, and… Daniel.

He straightened his back as he read the first message.

‘Gun, you asshole! You said you’re going to call me! Where are you now?!! Am I some kind of joke to you?! I hate you! I will not let you sleep with me again!’

The older frowned his eyebrows and thought that maybe this time he did deserve some harsh words from Daniel. He should’ve contacted him first before focusing on his works. Then he scrolled down his screen to the last message.

‘Okay, I take my previous message back. What I mean is that… I really miss you. Man, I can’t believe I’m sending you this. Call me, please. If you’re not, then I’ll just assume that you’re already bored with me.’

Gun made a smirk and muttered, “Bored? That’ll never happen,” He quickly pressed the call button, hoping that he could hear the other’s voice. He wanted the younger’s body so bad, fucked him until he was senseless, marked him on every part of his body. More than anything, he wanted to hug that slender body, pressed it next to him, and spent their time doing nothing, just the two of them. That rage from a moment ago was totally engulfed by the cute, silly text messages. However, Gun was disappointed as the provider answered his phone.

“The number you are calling is not active. Please, try again in a few minutes or press 1 to leave a message.”

“Sure,” Gun said to himself, “Today is school days after all,” Then, he turned his head to the motionless body on the floor. Gun walked slowly to his side and tugged him with his toes. “Hey, fucker. Wake up, already. I don’t want anyone else on my place,” Johan made a little groan as he woke up. His entire body was filled by pains as he struggled to sit down. Gun crouched down and handed him a thick envelope. “Here, your payment,” When Johan fingers almost touched it, Gun pulled it back and threatened him, “I mean it. If I see you again, I won’t show you any mercy. Get lost and just played around with Goo. I don’t have any interest for you,” Johan stayed silent the entire time and hugged the envelope dearly. Gun sneered and thought that indeed, he had become too soft. It was probably Daniel’s fault.

“Ah. Clean your blood first before leaving,” With that, Gun entered his own room and rested his body. He finally opened Crystal message.

‘Gun, will you pick me up today? I heard Goo is already go back,’

Picking up the princess meant that he could glance at Daniel at school and so he replied with a yes.

Outside, Johan wiped out his own blood silently. It’s fine, I got the money, he thought. He didn’t bother to say goodbye as he left the apartment. He felt jealous at these kinds of scumbag. They were all thugs, but why some thugs lived better than him? Gun and Goo, he hated them so much, but he had no money nor power to beat them. One day, he swore to pay them back twice of his pains. He gritted his teeth while he counted the money. It’s fine, it’s for mother.

…

It had been a week since Daniel was absent. His classmates were started to wonder about his whereabouts. Daniel was always known as a model student; he would never skip school unless he’s sick. However, he had a tough body, he rarely sicked even when the weather was bad.

“Zack, have you heard anything about Daniel?” Mira asked his childhood friend who lazily slept on the desk. “Mira?” Like a puppy, he suddenly became excited and raised his head, “I don’t know. I haven’t heard anything. Maybe he’s sick?”

“Sick? How about you text him again?”

“Sure!” Zack did as he was told and assured her, “Don’t worry too much. Daniel knows how to take care of himself,”

“Hm,” Mira sighed, “That’s exactly why I worry about him, Zack. He takes care of himself too well, he doesn’t know how to depend on others,”

Looking at her sad expression, Zack’s heart was hurting. Even though sometimes he felt jealous, he knew that Mira considered Daniel as her friend. She couldn’t help, but worry about him. Zoe was even worse. She kept crying, thinking that something bad might happen to Daniel, “What if he was sick and couldn’t move around?” or “What if a stalker caught him again just like last year?!”

A new fact also stunned them. All of them had known each other for over than a year, but no one knew Daniel’s house. He always walked the girls home, helped the boys when they drunk, but no one did that for him. Zack muttered a curse and said, “Geez, I’m going to ask Vasco,” Mira lifted her head and stared at him, “Thank you. I’m going to stay here with Zoe. She needs me,” Zack rubbed her head and smiled, “Nah, it’s for our friend after all,”

Zack walked leisurely to the architecture department. “Yo, Vasco!” He called for the big man on the room. Vasco turned his head and reached him, followed by Jace. “What’s wrong, Zack?”

“Well, do you know Daniel’s house?”

Vasco shook his head and questioned him back, “Is there anything happen to Daniel?” Zack contemplated whether to tell him the situation or not. However, looking at the crowds behind him. He felt that he could use this man’s power. “You see, Daniel hasn’t come to school for a week. We don’t know his house and couldn’t even reach his phone,”

“No wonder I didn’t see his handsome face lately,” Jace murmured behind the leader’s back. Vasco showed his concerned as he spoke with Jace, “Jace, the other big crews haven’t entered central Seoul, right?”

“Not yet, but I’ll ask around the boys in case they see Daniel somewhere,” Zack nodded his head and thank him. This was the reason he couldn’t talk freely with the girls. They didn’t know about the big four crews and it was also too dangerous for them to know. He knew that the big crews had their eyes on Daniel, wanting to scout him into the group. He had rejected the offers multiple times, but what if this time they offered him something that beyond a normal person could think of?

“No, Daniel is not that kind of person,” As if he could read his thought, Vasco said it out loud, “If anything else, he’ll destroy the crews for doing many bad things,” Hearing the convinced tone, Zack smiled and nodded his head, “Of course, even if he did join the crews, we’ll knock some senses into him.”

 

 

To be continued…