Saving the Human Order with Chat(FGO/Pokémon)

"Had enough fun breaking the TOS, or are you going to keep doing it?" an exhausted Ritsuka asked a roughed-up Caster Cu Chulainn, who was standing just a few meters away from where he was summoned earlier.

The guy had decided to expose himself after finding out he was summoned as a Caster. It was a very sudden action that caught everyone off guard. It happened so quickly that even the girls behind him, who tried to look away or cover their eyes, were too slow at doing so and got a full view of Cu's mini Gáe Bolg.

Of course, he had seen everything too, but honestly? He was more worried about his viewers. Sure, due to his mysterious powers, his stream was now not safe for kids, and he somehow hadn't been banned yet, but he still didn't want to break the Terms of Service on purpose.

Ritsuka had frantically tried to block the view, but it was too late. The camera saw everything. Thankfully, the uncensored Diglett was only visible for a moment.

Chiyome, seeing her Lord in distress, immediately chose violence.

And now here Cu was, sporting a swollen cheek, a black eye, and the very obvious red streak of blood staining his cloak due to a deep cut to his chest that was given to him courtesy of Chiyome. Which he had to heal using one of his command seals to heal. Unfortunately, the way he phrased his order didn't erase the bloody mess Chiyome left behind.

Cu's eyes moved to Chiyome, who Ritsuka had told to stand down and head back into formation with the others to put Cu at ease. 

She was sending a death glare at the Hound with her tanto, which was covered with coagulated blood, still drawn and ready to attack if he tried anything funny again. If not for the mercy of his master, would have nearly cut off his lower head when he had taken off his clothes.

"I think I'm good," Cu said with a deadpan in his voice.

[IliekQTthings: Serves the fucker right.]

[Electrical★Streamer_Iono (MOD): Completely justified crashout. (＾་།＾)]

[Heart0f6old: My eyes… they still burn.]

[Don'tTouchMyBuns!: It wasn't THAT bad. I was surprised to see just how… smoking hot his body was. My only complaint is that it would have been nicer if he teased us a bit before he took it off… but instead, he just straight up took everything off without warning. No show, no seduction, just BOOM, nekkid. I rate his performance a 5/10.]

[CasCu: Oh, screw you. Just seeing my body alone should have been a 10!!]

[GARcher: 10 out of a million, maybe.]

[CasCu: You stay out of this!!]

"I don't know, Master. He still looks like he's itching to expose himself again. If you want, I can finish what Chiyome started and shank him one more time for good measure," Archer snarked from the sidelines while simultaneously projecting a black sword between his fingers.

"Hey! Fuck you, asshole! I said I wasn't going to, so put away that stupid black key of yours!" Cu snarked back, looking at the black key, which Archer was twirling in his hand, warily. How could he not? The reason he got so roughed up in the first place was because Archer had thrown one of them at his shadows and pinned him where he was, which allowed Chiyome to wail on him.

[Those shadow tag blades are pretty cool, but alas, it's not enough to undo the damage done to my psyche.]

[Spooky that he had such blades but never used them in Fuyuki.]

[Yeah, it would have been game over for us if that Archer did decide to use them.]

"And speaking of which," Cu pointed an accusing finger at Archer, "did you really have to aim at my dick after the Ninja Lass started attacking me?!"

"I just wanted to make sure the viewers wouldn't get traumatized further. So I tried to censor that thing before it could continue to corrupt the innocent minds of the Pokémon world." Archer gave a shrug and a shake of the head. "It's a shame I missed, but I suppose that is what happens when you try to shoot something so small while not looking at it."

"I'm a grower, not a shower," Cu muttered in an annoyed growl under his breath.

[That's what they all say.]

[IceCold-Melony361: It wasn't that small, but I have to confess, his abs looked rather amazing! ]

[Lusamine_Aether: I agree. Although I am not one to stare at men's bodies, his was visually appealing. ]

[CasCu: Is that so? Well, if you ladies want, I can show you much more when I'm nice and warmed up. What do you say? ]

[IceCold-Melony361: No thank you, I am happily married.]

[Lusamine_Aether: I was only making a comment, not interested.]

[GARcher: Lol.]

Cu clicked his tongue at the message and glared at Archer, who only continued to smirk at him.

"I take it back. The internet is pretty fun," Archer confessed, ignoring the judging gazes of the Servants around them.

"You looking for a fight, Red Boner Guy?" Caster Cu asked Archer, who just glared back but ultimately chose to shrug.

"Nah. It's tempting, but without your spear, it's not going to be a fair fight."

That served to be Cu's breaking point as he bared his teeth at Archer. "Why you!"

Seeing the interaction escalating, Ritsuka chose to intervene by stepping between the two riled-up Servants.

"That's enough, you two."

Both Cu and Archer stopped their intense staring contest and focused on Ritsuka, who had directed an intense stare of his own at both of them.

"I understand you guys don't like each other, but please do not start a fight here, of all places. Chaldea just started rebuilding, so please do not add to our work by breaking the place we use to summon more help."

Cu's anger was not gone, but he chose not to escalate further and let out a scoff, which was mirrored by Archer, who also dismissed his projected weapon back into particles of magic which vanished into nothing.

Seeing the situation de-escalate brought Ritsuka a sense of relief. He then turned to Cu with an apologetic look.

"Sorry I didn't summon you as a Lancer. I tried, but you just wouldn't respond."

Cu waved off his concern. "Don't sweat it, kid. It's not your fault. If anything, my money is on that bitch, the Morrigan, interfering with fate so that I can never be resummoned as a Lancer."

The Hound shrugged. "In any case, I'll make do with what I have, unless we somehow end up running into another copy of my Gáe Bolg. If that happens, don't even try to stop me when I reclaim it from the person borrowing it."

With that said, Cu walked around Ritsuka and wisely avoided being near his would-be murderer and instead chose to stand near Kriemhild.

The Berserker woman saw the exhibitionist approach and immediately held her blade snugly to her chest, like a shield protecting her chastity.

A dark, suffocating aura began to emit from the blade, which caused Cu to raise his arms in a placating manner.

"Easy, lass. I'm not here to flirt. I just don't feel comfortable near that Assassin chick over there," he said, pointing a thumb at Chiyome.

"The feeling is mutual," Chiyome responded from across the row of Servants.

"I'm glad we're on the same page, then!" Caster responded, a bit too cheery, which just seemed to annoy Chiyome more.

Ritsuka sighed, clearly exhausted by the headache he had just been forced to settle. And he had a feeling this was only the beginning.

[Oh boy. Gudao has his hands full with these guys.]

[Gudao might not get to have a Pokémon team, but this is as close as he will get. And he's going to have to work hard to get everyone to work together and eventually become friends!!]

[GARcher: Work together? Sure. Become friends? With that Hound? I'd rather dye my hair red and run around like an idiot screaming at the top of my lungs that I want to become a Hero of Justice who saves everyone in need.]

[Is that redhead someone you knew?]

[GARcher: Unfortunately.]

[Kream: Hero of Justice… how revolting. @GARcher You hate self-righteous heroes too?]

[GARcher: Yeah. I do. Especially the young, naive ones who live in a fantasy world where they believe that they can save everyone, not knowing it's an impossible dream.]

[Kream: Ugh. I know the type. My husband was similar. Always being the hero for everyone else, but to those who really mattered? His loved ones? He abandoned them.]

[GARcher: Typical Hero behaviour :head nod emoji: ]

[CasCu: Wow. Like two peas in a pod, those two.]

[JennyPD-16528: Hey!! Don't trash-talk heroes!! They are the backbone of society and inspire hope in the youth!!]

[GARcher: Based on your username, I'm going to assume you are a police officer. I'm not trash-talking emergency responders. They are actual heroes, unlike the ones I disdain… so long as they aren't corrupt. Are you?]

[JennyPD-16528: How dare you question my integrity!! I am a proud member of the Jenny Clan, and I am proud to serve my community! I took an oath to uphold law and order, and bribery is against the law!]

[GARcher: I question it because you are a stranger on a chat group on a video streaming platform. For all I know, you could just be some lazy bum who sits in their mom's basement pretending to be a police officer.]

[He's got you there, ma'am.]

[JennyPD-16528: I'm not a lazy bum! I am a real Officer Jenny!! I used my real badge number as my username so I have proof, and impersonating police officers is also against the law.]

[GARcher: And that means nothing to me since I can't verify your claim without access to your world's internet from here, but I'll take your word for it. This conversation is starting to bore me.]

[JennyPD-16528: >:( ]

With the summoning done, all that was left was to claim the supposed rewards that GudakoBot had promised.

So Ritsuka stared at the shield and realized he had no idea how to go about that. Did he just use a normal aria, or did he have to type a command in Twitch chat?

While it could be interesting to see who he would get next if he summoned another Servant, Da Vinci had warned him that while he could summon more Servants, the FATE system and other supporting systems were still under repair. She would need to work on them a bit longer to make sure they could handle the strain of supporting Servants in active combat.

Personally, he already felt overwhelmed with the few he had on hand, so he chose not to risk it and brought up his chat.

He'd rather make a mistake typing a command in chat than accidentally summon someone they'd have to turn away.

He couldn't see his Twitch page, but last time he checked, he didn't have a "give rewards" option, since GudakoBot seemed to hand them out when itno, shepleased. He knew the Pokémon world had achieved sentient AI technology, something still in its infancy here, but somehow he felt GudakoBot was more aware than she appeared.

So he decided to take a chance.

[Gudao: Any rewards for me, GudakoBot?]

[GudakoBot: Completing Singularity F. Additional rewards:

Reward 1: Babysit Mode.

Gudao needs privacy and alone time not just for himself, but for his Servants. So Babysit Mode will allow Gudao to temporarily relinquish control of the camera to a Servant of his choosing, therefore making that Servant the streamer for as long as Gudao or that Servant wants.

Note: If Gudao is unavailable to hand back the stream to, then the servant will have the option to give the stream to another servant of their choosing. If no servants want to take over the stream and Gudao is unavailable, then the stream will either move to Gudao's servant dream or the stream will end if the servant dream Gudao is experiencing is on the blacklist. And the stream will resume once Gudao wakes up.

]

[Woah!!]

[Nice. Gudao has more privacy!]

[Dragon's-Iris: Did GudakoBot really have to call it "Babysit Mode?" We aren't babies!!]

[CasCu: Nah, based on the comments I've seen, I say it's pretty accurate.]

[GARcher: I hate to agree with the Hound of all people, but in this instance, he's right.]

[Dragon's-Iris: Hey!]

Ritsuka couldn't help it; he smiled. He couldn't have hoped for a better reward. He loved his chat, truly, but even he had his limits. Being on camera 24/7 would be exhausting for even the most outgoing streamer. Which was why he rarely did subathons.

[GudakoBot: Your physical rewards for completing Singularity F will now be dispensed. ]

Without Ritsuka's input, Mash's shield lit up, which drew everyone's attention.

Unlike with a normal summon, only a single ring floated upward, spinning and spinning until it exploded in light.

When it died down, instead of a Servant, there was a large assortment of items laid on top of the shield:

A baseball cap with a Pokéball logo at its center, a backpack with a matching logo, an overcoat, a black shirt and pants, and a pair of sneakers which also had Pokéballs etched into their design.

Ritsuka approached the items warily before bending down and grabbing the hat, inspecting it.

Putting it on his head, he noticed it fit him perfectly and felt no tightness or discomfort of any kind.

He took off the hat, then moved on to inspect the rest of the items. All of them looked like regular Pokémon merch, with the exception of the Pokémon-themed brand logos he had never heard of. However, that all changed when he opened the backpack and did a double take when he saw that the space inside looked much, much larger than it did on the outside.

While the space was huge, it was mostly empty, save for a small grey matte metal case with a sticky note attached to it.

He hesitated for a moment before shoving his hand inside. By the time his hand had reached the case at the bottom, he had run out of arm, and part of his shoulder was inside the bag.

He grabbed the cool metal box and pulled it out. Once he did, he took a moment to read the message on the note, which suspiciously had the same handwriting as the note left on his computer. Except this time, the name was not smudged.

[For completing Singularity F. Here is your Flame Contained Badge. – Mystery Gifter]

One of his brows furrowed as he read the name on the note. A cheeky aliasa reference to the feature in Pokémon games where players could redeem event items and Pokémon received from outside the game.

Then his PC appearing from nowhere suddenly made more sense, but he doubted anyone was playing his life like a game and inputting gift codes so he could get stuff… at least, he hoped that wasn't the case.

He shivered. Was this what it felt like to find out your reality could possibly be nothing but ones and zeroes?

He shook his head, forcibly derailing the existential train of thought, and focused back on his prize.

[Ah, so the mystery sticky note makes its appearance once more.]

[Seriously, who even is this Mystery Gifter guy? He snuck Gudao's computer from an incinerated Earth unscathed and now gave him a fancy badge case? For what reason? It's super sus.]

[Who knows, but we shouldn't look a gift Rapidash in the mouth and just accept them, even if they are covered in slimy saliva.]

[Beaumains: Don't you guys mean "look a gift horse in the mouth?"]

[@ Beaumains Rapidash are fire horses that are common on our side, so it's used in our saying over here. But some places use "horse" too, especially where there are multiple horse-shaped Pokémon around.]

[Beaumains: Ah, I see.]

Without wasting any more time, he opened the box and saw a shiny metal object placed snugly in a foam mold.

He carefully took it out of the box, and he could immediately feel a warm radiance emanating from it. Holding it up to eye level to get a closer look, he noted that the badge's design showed an intricate eight-pointed star that served as the core of a black sun, which was surrounded by a chaotic corona of flames.

He couldn't identify what type of metal it was made of, but it was beautiful, especially with the darker metal complementing it.

His eyes went to the seven other slots available in the badge case, each with its own intricate design.

"What do you have there, Senpai?" Mash asked Ritsuka after he spent too much time examining the items.

Ritsuka turned to Mash and saw she looked curiousand so did everyone else.

"It seems my powers are really committed to the Pokémon themes, because it just awarded me a badge for completing Singularity F, like it was just a gym challenge."

[Woah. What a gorgeous badge!!]

[Flame Contained Badge? The badge is pretty for sure, but I still don't think it's worth the effort after going through that hellhole.]

[Yeah, even if the guy who gifted him his badge gave him hundreds of badges, it wouldn't be worth it.]

[DragonMasterLance: Regardless, a badge is a badge. And it looks official enough. I'll get the eggheads to draft up some legislation to include it as an officially recognized badge in Indigo.]

[StevenLieksMinerals: Already putting pen to paper as I speak.]

[Gible_Archeologist: I have some ties with the league in Sinnoh. Hopefully we can do the same.]

[Dragon's-Iris: Uhhh, I think I'll do it tomorrow. I don't wanna deal with politics rn.]

[El_Kukui: Alola's league already recognizes his achievements. If he ever sets foot here, he will be allowed to go where he wants… so long as he has his Servants with him.]

[ARose-ByAnyOtherName: Galar will see it done.]

[La-Primera: I'll allow it.]

"Oh. What does going to the gym have to do with you getting a badge?" Mash asked with a cute tilt of her head.

Ritsuka turned to stare at Mash. "Did Romani not teach you about Pokémon?"

Mash looked bashful. "I did play it as a kid, but I never finished the copy I was given. I saw a few episodes of the anime, but that was it. But stuff came up and I grew up."

Ritsuka felt a sharp pain in his chest when he heard her say that.

[Dragon's-Iris: Ouch. Your girlfriend just called you a kid. What are you gonna do?]

[Poor Mash, someone give her a Pokémon game, stat!! She is missing out on the wonders of our world!!]

Ritsuka steeled himself before he gave his answer.

"I can share the specifics later. All you need to know is that this badge and the ones that will come after it are physical proof of us resolving the Singularities"

Mash seemed to get it, as she gave a nod. "Ah, I see. Thank you for answering my question, Senpai."

Seeing Mash was satisfied with his answer, Ritsuka turned back to look at the badge again, only for a floral scent to caress his nose. It was Da Vinci, who had somehow gotten past his defenses and come very close to where he stood to observe the shiny new item in his hand.

"Hmm, I'm sensing some magical energy from that trinket you have there. May I see it?" She put her hand out, and seeing as he had just gotten his fill of staring at it, he decided to share the experience and placed the badge and the case in her waiting, delicate hands.

She nodded, then took a moment to examine it. "Bellissimo. This shiny output of metallurgy is a true work of art." She then turned to the other missing symbols and looked at the note still stuck to the case with furrowed brows.

"You again… just you wait, Mister Mystery Gifter. I'll find out who you are, sooner or later."

Da Vinci put the badge away in the case and closed it. Then, in an unexpected move, she grabbed the top of her undershirt and pulled it down, showing off her plump cleavage in full view of Ritsuka's eyes.

She then did something that he had seen happen in anime often, but never in real life. She slid the rectangular box between her boobs, and miraculously, the case disappeared.

[Da Vinci is shameless as always.]

[MashuMellows: ( •̀ ᴖ •́ )]

[PerfectlySaneHex: Hussy. ( •̀ ᴖ •́ )]

[CasCu: Nice. Master is a lucky man to have seen that show from up close.]

Normally, Da Vinci would have eaten up Ritsuka's expression like a tasty snack, but she didn't pay his astonished face any mind as she was more focused on the new, fancy items in front of her.

She inspected the cap for a moment, then the clothes under it. Picking the shirt up, she rubbed the fabric between her fingers and gave an interested hum.

"Not bad. It's nowhere near as stylish as the clothes I make, but this is a great enough base to engrave some good quality spells into."

[Well, those are high-quality trainer clothes, Da Vinci. They are built to last while also being comfortable.]

She then placed the shirt down in Ritsuka's hands and proceeded to open the backpack.

"Eh, how interesting. A backpack that utilizes distorted space so that it's bigger on the inside while remaining small and portable on the outside." She squinted her eyes. "And one that seems to be relying mostly on scientific principles rather than magecraft. Of course, I can make a better one with enough materials, but not bad, Pokémon world. Not bad for what looks like a mass-produced item."

[StevenLieksMinerals donated 100 bits]

["Thank you, ma'am. Our scientists worked hard for decades developing that technology, then how to produce it so it would be cheap enough for most people to afford."]

Da Vinci heard the voice, smiled and gave a short hum of acknowledgement at the response before she dove back into her investigations.

[MashuMellows: Amazing. To think humans in your world had such technology.]

[OrochiMochiHime: Useful. If it truly holds more than what it looks like on the inside without the use of magecraft, it could be used to hold hidden weapons without alerting mages with its magical signature.]

Da Vinci then took his shoes and inspected them, scanning every inch of them, both inside and out. She paused when she looked inside the shoe and found a button. She let out a cute yelp as a loud hissing noise came from the soles. The shoe went flying out of Da Vinci's hands and landed a few meters away.

"Remarkable. Running shoes that use air pressure to give the wearer a boost while running? I am definitely going to study these puppies in depth."

She went to fetch the shoe, and when she came back, she placed all the items in the bag, then put the backpack on her back.

"I'll return these when I do a proper analysis on them, Gudao-kun. If you don't mind parting with them for a moment."

Seeing the excited look on her face, he couldn't help but say yes.

"Thank you, and don't worry. I'll stop by room to drop them off later~" She gave him a wink, which caused him to blush, before she walked back to stand next to an annoyed-looking Mash, who had gotten closer to where Ritsuka was.

[GudakoBot: All rewards have been claimed. Relief Care Package will now be dispensed.]

The shield lit up once more, and like last time, a single ring was the only indicator to show that what was being summoned wasn't a Servant, but an item.

The light died down, and a large, six-foot by four-foot container appeared before them, which immediately slid down the shield due to its rounded surface.

No labels.

No logos.

Just a plain metal container.

Ritsuka got close to the crate and noted the metal handlebars, which he assumed would allow him to open the door, but he dared not touch it due to its precarious position on the shield.

He looked back at his Servants, who were still surprised by the sudden huge gift.

"A little help, please? I may be in shape, but this is too much for me."

The Servants snapped out of their awe, and taking the initiative, Gareth stepped up and, using her superhuman strength, lifted the heavy metal crate off the shield. Not even giving a grunt as she easily carried the box like it was made of balsa wood.

She then placed it on flat ground with a loud metallic thud.

[Blue-TheCHAMP: I know I shouldn't be surprised seeing a tiny girl like Gareth carry something this heavy, but I can't help it. Damn that girl is strong! ]

[KicksYouIntheFace193: she also uses her legs to lift the box. Superhuman or no, great lifting form is crucial for good back health. ]

Grabbing onto the handles and pulling, Ritsuka strained his muscles for a moment due to the weight, but he was able to open it with a loud creak.

Peering inside, Ritsuka was taken aback by the pitch-black metal cave in front of him.

Just like the bag, the space inside was much larger than the outside. He could tell because of a faint blue light seeming to come from deep within the dark interior.

He heard a whistle from next to him, and it was then he realized Cu was the one who let it out. "It's amazing what fun things humans can come up with without using magecraft." 

Ritsuka was curious about going in, but he wasn't sure if it was safe. So he turned to chat for answers.

[Gudao: Guys, is it safe to go in?]

[Electrical★Streamer_Iono(MOD): Yeah. It is. Go on, you big baby. It's just a normal supply crate. There should be a light switch near the entrance, so just flip the switch and it should make it easy to see.]

[Gudao: Geez, no need to be so mean, Iono. I was just asking.]

Before he had a chance to do as chat told him, he heard a light switch go off. Astolfo had gone ahead and flipped the switch for him.

"Ah. Sorry, Master, I saw this neato switch and it looked like it would be fun to flip it. And it was!" The bunny boy stood up straight, then pointed a finger at the inside. "Now let us go explore this wonderful new thing!!"

He abruptly grabbed his hand and pulled him in, completely ignoring Ritsuka's flustered expression.

"Ah. Hold on, Astolfo! Don't pull so hard on Senpai, he's fragile!" Mash said from behind him, but honestly, he didn't mind it.

The interior of the crate was much more spacious than he anticipated. It was a decently sized space lined with dozens of shelves containing various sacks of what he assumed were grains. Ahead of them was a lineup of fridges built into the wall.

The cacophony of footsteps behind them told him his servants had all followed him and Astolfo inside.

Astolfo let go of his hand and nearly skipped over to the fridges.

"Woah! Look at all the food! It's so weird!!" He then opened the fridge and pulled out something that, as a Pokémon fan, he instantly recognized.

A sealed pack of Slowpoke tails.

Ritsuka took a moment to look at the package in disbelief. He remembered these things were one of the most expensive foods in Pokémon back in the day, enough that it caused Team Rocket to poach them from Azalea Town's Slowpokes.

When he made contact, his chat told him that it's only illegal to poach "unripe" Slowpoke tails. One just has to be patient and wait for a slowpoke to naturally drop their old tails. His chat told him the process is painless and Slowpokes can easily and quickly regrow them.

And now they were in his hands.

He didn't know how to feel about this. On the one hand, his inner child was overjoyed at seeing real proof that Pokémon exist. On the other hand, the proof was plastic-wrapped in a macabre display straight out of one of PETA's ad campaigns.

[Oh wow. Chaldea is going to be in for a treat if they got Slowpoke tails.]

[GARcher: Are they really that great of an ingredient?]

[Chef-SieboldE4: Of course. Grade A, high-quality, ripened Slowpoke tails are one of the most high-end meats you can buy. They're used in many high-end restaurants (like mine) here in Lumiose City. However, the tails the general populace buys are lower grade (which is what Gudao is holding in his hand) but are still used to make many dishes like quiche, sandwiches, and its most popular use, as a main ingredient for Smoked-Tail Curry.]

[VampHaterCIEL: DID SOMEONE SAY CURRY?!!]

[GARcher: Interesting… I'll have to experiment with them later to see what I can cook up.]

[Chef-SieboldE4: I apologize if I sound forward, Monsieur Archer, but are you a fellow chef?]

[GARcher: It's something I enjoy. Although I'm just a humble home cook who's nowhere near as good as a Michelin star chef.]

[Chef-SieboldE4: I won't have time to hang around, I'm a busy man, but I can promise to at least send some recipes if you'd like via a Twitch DM?]

[GARcher: Much appreciated.]

[VampHaterCIEL: What does Slowpoke tail taste like?]

[It's a balanced mix of salty and sweet. It's fatty and tastes like Tauros (cow) beef. Slowpoke is a water type, but like most water type mons, if you want that hint of ocean brininess in your meat, you will have to pay more to get imported slowpoke tails if you don't live near a beach.]

[VampHaterCIEL: That sounds delicious… especially on a curry… ugh, but I don't have any Slowpokes native to where I'm from… hm, I think I'll use some of my PTO and go get some.]

Archer narrowed his eyes at the username, that sounded suspiciously like a certain curry-loving executor he knew. But that couldn't be right, she was not a member of Chaldea, so whatever parallel version of her existed here should have been incinerated with the rest of humanity.

He decided to just put a mental tab on that name for future reference.

Behind Ritsuka, Mash and Da Vinci were taking stock of the various snacks, sacks of food, and other items on the shelves.

Mash was holding a box of instant Poffin mix, reading the text on the back that had the CEO of the company's life story that led up to him founding his company.

Meanwhile, Cu was looking at a sack of potatoes with a critical eye.

"Huh, a lot of these provisions are just normal dry grains and foods we find on Earth. Kinda boring if you ask me."

Cu stopped when he noticed a sack labeled "Pokébeans," which was slightly ripped open, showing the colorful beans inside.

The Hound blinked when he saw a rainbow-colored bean sticking out of the hole. Thinking his eyes were playing tricks on him, he grabbed the bean to get a better look.

"I take it back, this is pretty cool. Though I'll admit, rainbow-colored beans don't look too appetizing to me."

[Chef-SieboldE4 donated 50 bits]

["That is because you're not supposed to eat them raw. Pokébeans are supposed to be roasted, then ground into a powder to make coffee."]

Cu looked intrigued. "So they're fancy alien coffee beans? I'm sure that Romani guy is gonna love these, considering how much he was consuming during the singularity."

Archer made a note to look at those beans later and instead focused on the food in the fridge. Much like Cu said, a lot of the foods in here were no different from basic ingredients you could find on Earth: eggs, dairy, meat, fruits, and vegetables.

However, much like the rainbow-colored coffee bean, the devil was in the details. And the details on these items were rather noticeable based on the packaging.

Archer looked at a glass bottle of milk with a weird-looking cow printed on it.

"MooMoo Milk?" Archer asked, curiosity and suspicion in his voice.

Next to him, Mash was inspecting a carton of eggs he had spotted earlier.

"Chansey eggs… Wait, aren't Chansey those cute pink Pokémon that help out Nurse Joy?" Mash asked, a bit of fear present in her voice.

Ritsuka looked away from the severed Slowpoke tails he was staring at and saw what Mash was holding in her hands.

"Yes, yes they are," he responded, much to Mash's horror. She might not know much about Pokémon, but she knew Chansey. And she didn't seem pleased with the idea of eating eggs from such a cute creature.

Ritsuka, having had enough of staring at the slabs of expensive meat in his hands, put them back where he found them and decided to go to the fridges that looked like they were storing vegetables.

The first thing that caught his eye when he opened the door was the massive plastic-wrapped green leek in front of him. Curious about it, he stuck his hand in the fridge and pulled out the veggie sword.

[A Sirfetch'd leek? Hmm, it's a bit of an acquired taste due to how hard it is, but giving it a good steaming should loosen up the fibers enough to use in a Farfetch'd stew.]

Ritsuka had never wielded a blade before, but he was always curious about it. He twirled it in his hands.

"Ah." Only for him to accidentally drop it on the ground. He quickly picked it up and tried his best to wipe the leek's plastic clean of the dirt from the ground.

Unfortunately, due to the small space, everyone had noticed his little display the moment he drew the sword from the fridge.

The people around him seemed to find the sight quite humorous. Everyone except Kriemhild, who seemed to be inspecting Pokémon berries like a housewife at a supermarket, and Archer, who had frozen in place when his eyes caught sight of the leek sword.

Unbeknownst to the group, Archer's inner forge now had a leek sword impaled on its rusty ground.

Ritsuka noticed and seemed worried for him. "You okay, Archer?"

Archer took a moment to respond, but eventually he did. "Yes, I am alright… I was just doing some Structural Analysis on the food here. And all the food seems safe to consume."

Ritsuka's eyes widened in surprise. "You can do that?"

He nodded. "Yes, my magecraft allows me to analyze what an object is made of at the molecular level, so I was able to check and see if it had any harmful bacteria, parasites, or viruses. And they came out clean, almost too clean if you ask me… like whatever sent this here sterilized every harmful biohazard that could have hopped over here."

Ritsuka let out an impressed hum.

[Junior_Researcher: Having an ability to mimic an atomic absorption spectrophotometer sounds extremely useful.]

[GARcher: In science? Yes, but in magecraft it's generally considered worthless.]

[Junior_Researcher: Then the Magi are blind.]

[GARcher: *shrugs* On many levels I would agree, but in this case they aren't wrong. There's some wild stuff out there even I can't hope to analyze due to its nature.]

[Junior_Researcher: Bah. That just means you either need more practice or you haven't tried finding a better method to analyze the stuff that stumps you.]

[GARcher: ծ_Ô ]

"Thank you for your analysis, Archer, but I still need to do some tests on these foods before we go feeding them to our staff," Da Vinci added. She then gave a side eye at the part of the container that housed the medical chemicals that were designed for humans.

Archer nodded in agreement. "True. All of the food here is edible to humans of this world, but they are still alien foods. The human bodies from this world would most definitely not recognize some of the things in here," Archer said, giving a side-eye to the berries Kriemhild was still inspecting.

"Woah!! Look, Master! These cherries have smiling faces, aren't they weird?" Astolfo said as he shoved a clear plastic clamshell filled with cherries with smiling faces in front of Ritsuka's face. The label on the plastic clamshell was titled "SunShine Cherubies."

The look of horror on Ritsuka's face as he saw the dismembered tiny Pokémon heads told Archer that getting their Master to willingly eat his childhood was going to be a bigger issue than simply ensuring the food was safe to eat.

✦✧✦

International Police Building, Unova Region

A door opened, and a young investigator in a brown trench coat over a business suit walked into the room.

He could feel the dozens of gazes from the room's many occupants focus on him.

"Charles? I thought I told you that you didn't have to come in today."

 Charles looked toward the head of the boardroom and saw his aged boss, President Dale Henderson, watching him with concern.

"I wanted to," Charles said, his tone clipped and on edge.

The President stared at Charles for a long moment before saying, "Do what you want. Just take it easy on yourself. It's not your fault-"

"I am not here to discuss emotions, sir. I am here for business," Charles said with finality before taking a nearby empty seat.

The President gave his stubborn subordinate a hard, lingering look, then sighed and turned to address the room.

"In that case, now that we are all here, gentlemen, it's time to get down to business."

 He gestured to a Mr. Mime, who nodded in acknowledgment and dimmed the room's lights. Then, the President pulled a remote from one of his suit pockets and pressed a button.

The ceiling-mounted projector came to life and displayed the first slide.

Chaldea's logo appeared onscreen.

"Let's talk about our plans moving forward."

_____________________________________________________________________________________________

New Usernames from last chapter and this chapter(summoned servant usernames not included):

ARose-ByAnyOtherName = Chairman Rose from Sword and Shield. Unlike his game counterpart, he was actually wise enough to be more patient and wait to enact his plan. This approach came as a result of the stricter league rules and the constant audits that happen in his pokemon world.

BattleMANIAC = He's an OC Ace Trainer from Kanto. As the name implies, they are a battle maniac, which means he lives, breathes, and eats pokemon battles. 

LemmeSeeUrManager = This is Karen, the Dark Type elite four of the Indigo league. I thought the name was a big giveaway, but no one brought it up, so I guess it wasn't as obvious. 

JennyPD-16528 = An Officer Jenny who has a strong sense of Justice, unfortunately, she is a hot head which leads to her getting scolded often by her superiors.

Chef-SieboldE4 = The Water type Elite Four from Kalos. He is the owner of a successful, high end restaurant in Lumiose City.

VampHaterCIEL = A certain Mysterious Executor has joined chat. SHe was lurking, but she couldn't help herself when curry was brought up.

La-Primera = The champion of Paldea, Geeta.