Royal Gold Magistrate

“………”

The three of them simultaneously fell into a daze.

What do you mean, you came to take a dump? Is that any way to talk?

Zhang Dongxiang’s face flushed red. He slammed the table and roared angrily, “Presumptuous! How dare you spout nonsense here?”

The waiter was startled by this and hurriedly said, “Sorry, sorry, three gentlemen. This lowly one misspoke!”

Li Yansong said mildly, “No need to be nervous. Let me ask you, is this place really Banshan District?”

The waiter quickly replied, “Yes, that’s right. This is indeed Banshan District!”

The three exchanged glances, a look of shock in their eyes.

Li Yansong then continued to ask, “Then why did you ask us that question just now?”

“That question?” The waiter blinked.

“Ahem… That is, you came to… ahem!” Li Yansong, at his age, felt it was really embarrassing to talk like this, so he kept coughing. The atmosphere instantly became a bit awkward.

The waiter laughed, “Ah! I understand!”

“Speaking of this, you three are unaware! The officials in our district launched an activity – poop lottery! As long as you use the public latrine, you can get a lottery ticket. The top prize can be as much as five taels of silver!”

“You see how many people there are today? It’s because the draw is being held at Banshan Square today!”

The three were so surprised their mouths gaped wide. There was actually something like this in the world!? How… novel.

Waving his hand to dismiss the waiter, the three discussed. Zheng Qiao said, “Why don’t… we go take another look. I think there seems to be something written on the wall ahead?”

“Let’s go, let’s go!”

The three left a few coins and immediately got up to start patrolling the street.

At first, they felt what they saw written was quite good. They kept nodding and exclaiming in admiration.

This was truly a great method. Putting advocacy slogans on the walls not only had an excellent publicity effect, the common people could even learn a few more characters.

It could be seen that the moral education was effective! Fang Zheng’s governance methods were indeed impressive!

Like 【For a better life, please cherish our district】【Take a few more steps to leave the grass green】and such, which were straightforward, easy to understand, and conveyed a very beautiful meaning.

But as they walked, the three started to notice something was off!

Once they reached a secluded spot, a high-incidence area for cases, the style of the slogans immediately changed.

【Hold it in! The prize pooping contest is in full swing. Please register and participate at the public toilets.】

【No pooping or peeing wherever you please! Offenders will be fined over one coin and have their “tools of crime” confiscated.】

【Can’t hold it? Poop in your pockets!】

【If you keep pooping, your ancestors will forsake you!】

……..

The expressions of Li Yansong and the others started to become unnatural. The characters big and small in the alleys were simply vulgar and crude, making one not dare to read them in full.

Zhang Dongxiang painfully covered his chest, feeling a bit short of breath.

“Fang Zheng… it must be Fang Zheng! Is this something a person should do?? Crown Prince ah!”

Zheng Qiao’s originally solemn expression suddenly burst into laughter.

Seeing this, Li Yansong also couldn’t help laughing along. The two old men laughed until they were rocking back and forth.

Zhang Dongxiang was dumbfounded and angrily said, “What are you laughing at! What’s so funny about such vulgarity?”

Zheng Qiao laughed a bit more before getting up and saying, “This Fang Zheng truly doesn’t follow the usual path. Although these words are an eyesore, the effect is indeed there! Look, isn’t every part of the street spotlessly clean?”

“It shows it’s truly effective! And extremely effective at that!”

With that, his expression turned solemn. “However… this might indeed lead the Crown Prince astray. This person has no integrity and does things without any bottom line!”

Li Yansong concurred, “Correct! But being able to achieve good results is also passable. Let’s hope the Crown Prince doesn’t get led too far off track.”

“Also, that public toilet lottery… do you want to go take a look? This old man is quite curious.”

Zhang Dongxiang turned his face away. “I won’t go! This old man will go back and submit a memorial to impeach him! This trend cannot be allowed to grow!”

“Oh come on, let’s go!” The two old men dragged him away without allowing any argument.

Zhang Dongxiang was forcibly dragged to the public toilet. At this time, because it was the moment of the draw, there was a long line outside the public toilet.

The three old men had no choice but to line up at the end.

Lining up, they quickly lost patience. But helpless, they were already squeezed in the middle.

Thinking it would be a pity to leave since they had already lined up this far, they stood in the queue sighing.

“At this age, running here to line up to use the toilet, really… sigh.”

“Fang Zheng is leading me astray…”

Zhang Dongxiang snorted coldly, “What does it have to do with him? Isn’t it because you insisted on coming!”

“This old man will be angered to death by him one day! Tsk!”

Li Yansong and the other regretfully shook their heads.

At this age, to be triggered by a young man, cursing before even seeing him.

How embarrassing!

After lining up for the time it takes an incense stick to burn, it was finally the three people’s turn. The few old men curiously took the slips of paper, pressed their fingerprints, then lined up and entered the latrine.

None of the three wanted to go. They stood in the latrine staring at each other in embarrassment.

“Tsk! With such a crude design, there must be many people falsely claiming prizes. I want to see how he’ll explain it away.”

“Indeed. Who will provide the prize money? It can’t be Fang Zheng, right? Is that fellow so generous?”

“Could it be the Crow-”

“Shh! Don’t mention it. There are people here.”

Because there was a time requirement for the lottery toilet activity, the time spent inside could neither be too long nor too short.

The three old men could only stand by the door and chat.

Someone came in, saw the three crowded by the door, and shouted, “Going or not? Going or not? Don’t block the latrine and not shit!”

Zhang Dongxiang immediately glared back. “What are you rushing for! Hasn’t the time not been reached yet?”

The passerby chuckled, “You three old farts also want to win the lottery? Eat shit!”

The three glared furiously, feeling even more regretful in their hearts. Embarrassing! Truly embarrassing!

This matter… absolutely cannot let a fourth person know!

The three exchanged glances and nodded heavily.

Li Yansong and the others walked out of the public toilet with heavy thoughts, sighing in their hearts as they looked at the lottery tickets in their hands.

Why bother… the more they thought about it, the angrier they got!

“Let’s go! Let’s go watch the draw! Anyway, we’ve already completely lost face. Since we participated, let’s see it through!” Zheng Qiao had made peace with it.

He just wanted to see what trick Fang Zheng was playing.

The few followed the footsteps of the crowd and arrived at Banshan Square.

Seeing the billboards around Banshan Square, they immediately fell speechless.

Several billboards were now covered with painting paper. The artwork was extremely exquisite. Each painting depicted a person, in various poses, both men and women, all holding a cup of tea in their hands.

The most eye-catching was a kind-looking middle-aged to elderly man who appeared very amiable yet somewhat authoritative, holding a tea box with an honest face.

There was even an advertising slogan beside it.

【Drink tea, drink good tea, drink Celestial Immortal Tea! Refresh the mind and body, replenish that overdrafted kidney.】

The three collectively fell into deep thought. After a long while, Li Yansong spoke:

“Hiss… why does this person look a bit like Eunuch Guo?”