Royal Gold Magistrate

In major cities during the Ming and Qing dynasties, using Beijing as an example, there were very few toilets on the streets. Dealing with toilets, like managing floods, was all about proper drainage. Blocking was impossible. So, due to the scarcity of toilets, filth could be seen everywhere on the streets.

The Qing dynasty book “Miscellaneous Records of Beijing” documented: People would urinate right on the road, and women would empty their chamber pots on the street. Adding to that the urine and feces of oxen and horses, which only increased and never decreased, layer upon layer of heavy filth accumulated, the stench permeating everywhere.

“Trivial Records of Old Beijing” also noted: Pedestrians mostly relieved themselves on the roadside. Although there were officials to punish this, the decadent trend was unstoppable. Even officials would relieve themselves on the road.

If this was the case even in the Qing dynasty, the peak of feudal society, Great Jing was naturally no exception.

When Fang Zheng first transmigrated, he was filled with endless panic. Then he kept comforting himself that he was a chosen one of heaven. These complex emotions kept intertwining.

Finally, the balance was broken the first time he went to the toilet. Fang Zheng completely sank into despair. All his beautiful fantasies about transmigrated life were shattered in that moment.

To hell with transmigration, can’t a man take a peaceful dump?

Eventually, after a few years of bumbling about, once he had some capital in hand, Fang Zheng began to ruthlessly promote a toilet revolution in Taoyuan County.

Now, seeing Li Yuanzhao step in a pile of dung, it made him recall those painful past experiences.

He could only sigh and shake his head.

Toilets… gotta keep building them! Even if it means bankrupting the family!

Li Yuanzhao shouted at Fang Zheng in aggrievement, “Dammit! This place is unlivable!”

Fang Zheng was just about to go over and comfort him when he suddenly saw four unsavory characters approaching Li Yuanzhao with ill intent. His heart immediately tensed up.

Those few were clearly just street ruffians and thugs.

Cracking their knuckles with menacing ka-ka sounds, they spat vicious words, “Little punk! Getting dirt everywhere, let’s teach him a lesson, bros!!”

Li Yuanzhao also became alert, feeling a bit panicked in his heart, but he still readied his stance.

Fang Zheng immediately shouted loudly, “You bunch of little punks got the guts? Come at me!!”

The few thugs instantly glared furiously at Fang Zheng and turned to walk towards him.

“The hell did you just say?”

“I said, happy new year and wishing you prosperity!” Fang Zheng retorted.

Now it was Fang Zheng’s turn to panic.

Crap, I didn’t bring Zhang Biao out today… I can still put up a fight one-on-one, but now there’s four of them…

Fang Zheng’s eyes started roving around on the ground. Then he suddenly felt the ground was paved quite well, without even a decent-sized rock…

Li Yuanzhao was so anxious he was hopping from foot to foot. Seeing the four surround Fang Zheng, his gaze also began scouring around, finally slowly shifting to that pile under his foot…

He roared, “You little bastards! Have a taste of this!” Then he took a deep breath and gritted his teeth.

With a big kick, that indescribable substance scattered and shot towards the four thugs.

The thugs heard Li Yuanzhao’s shout and immediately turned their heads.

Then they saw some indescribable semi-solids splatter all over them like a blanketing rain, splattering their entire bodies and faces.

Fortunately, Fang Zheng was standing behind the four, narrowly escaping the disaster.

The thugs were dumbfounded… One of them wiped his face, sniffed, and said in a daze, “Boss, it’s shit.”

“Ah! Dammit!!” The leader reacted, screaming as he ran off, stripping off his clothes as he ran.

Seeing the boss flee, the remaining underlings also hurriedly ran away in panic…

Fang Zheng looked at Li Yuanzhao in admiration.

This was perhaps the first crown prince in history to play with shit. Truly an emperor for the ages!

Li Yuanzhao hopped over expressionlessly on one leg. The pant leg and shoe of his raised leg were splattered with specks of traditional Chinese medicine ingredients.

Fang Zheng wanted to cover his nose at first, but thinking that Li Yuanzhao had just saved him, he sheepishly lowered his hand.

He asked with concern, “Your Highness truly has impressive leg technique. This subject is in awe… Are you alright?”

Li Yuanzhao shook his head and said calmly, “This prince doesn’t want to be here anymore… I want to return to the palace! This leg… just saw it off…”

With that, two lines of tears flowed down his cheeks.

Dammit! Off to a bad start!

Fang Zheng hurriedly comforted him. Then he forcibly dragged Li Yuanzhao to find a clothing store. Amid the store owner’s disdainful gaze, he got Li Yuanzhao a change of clothes.

After changing, Li Yuanzhao sat dejectedly on the threshold of the clothing store, staring blankly into the distance.

He seemed to still be immersed in the shocking experience.

The owner wanted to chase them off, but after Fang Zheng gave him a tael of silver, he gleefully stopped minding them.

Fang Zheng sat beside the Crown Prince, also feeling very awkward.

This was the Crown Prince who had enjoyed a life of luxury in the palace since childhood, spoiled and coddled.

For something like this to happen, it must have been a huge blow to his tender psyche. If it were him, he’d also need a moment.

After sitting for a while and seeing Li Yuanzhao still not speaking, Fang Zheng spoke up to comfort him, “Your Highness, don’t dwell on it.”

“As they say, a blessing in disguise. Stepping in it is stepping in it, it may not necessarily be a bad thing.”

“Who knows, maybe some people like that feeling of stepping in shit when wearing shoes. In the future, let’s sell shoes together. You can be the chief experience officer!”

Hearing this, Li Yuanzhao glared at him furiously.

Then, the two sank into awkwardness again…

Fang Zheng really couldn’t sit still anymore. He got up and went out. After a while, he returned with two sticks of candied hawthorn.

He handed a stick to Li Yuanzhao, “Here, candied hawthorn! I’ll take you to eat in a bit. First whet your appetite…”

Li Yuanzhao took the candied hawthorn expressionlessly and bit down hard, saying dejectedly, “This prince has always aspired to be an enlightened ruler. Now there’s a stain on my life. It’s all your fault!”

“Ah, no need to take this matter to heart. Heaven knows, earth knows, you know, I know. It’s fine! Don’t worry, Your Highness!”

Li Yuanzhao slowly turned his head, “Alright, I’ll strangle you to death and pretend nothing happened!”

“…… If it makes you happy, then strangle away.” Fang Zheng was at a loss. Unruly children were so hard to coax.

Li Yuanzhao sighed again, “Anyway, this prince doesn’t want to come to Banshan District anymore… My life is ruined here…”

“Old Fang, go ask Imperial Father to get back the twenty thousand taels of silver for me. I don’t want this place.”

Fang Zheng was anxious enough to scratch his head. What kind of situation was this!? The venture was dead before it even started?

“Your Highness! You can’t take it after just this little setback!? What’s there to fear about getting some shit on you! People can even eat it when starving! Cheer up quickly. In my eyes, Your Highness is a top-class pure man. Can such a small matter crush you?”

“…”

“Giving up halfway like this, what kind of man are you!”

“….”

“I’ll give you a hundred taels, give me a smile!”

Li Yuanzhao took the banknote and tugged up the corners of his mouth at Fang Zheng.

Seeing this, Fang Zheng was delighted. There was still hope!

“I’ll give you another hundred taels!”

“I’ll give you another hundred taels!”

“I’ll give you another hundred taels!”

“…”