Romantic Gangster

#68

Laughing again at Lee Hyun-joon’s playful words, Seo Ji-woo responded to the playfulness and moved forward. After taking one step, two steps, three steps, Lee Hyun-joon patted his waist as if he had done well.

“The baby walks well on his own without crying.”

Seo Ji-woo laughed, pushing away Lee Hyun-joon’s arm as he treated him like a real baby, and picked up the bouquet. Lee Hyun-joon carefully picked up the bouquet Seo Ji-woo had given him and held it in his arms.

“Let’s go home now. If your legs hurt or you have a hard time walking, let me know. I can carry you.”

“Okay. Let’s go.”

The two, who left the music room and stopped by the bathroom to wash their hands, immediately went down the quiet stairs. While they were spending time in a place where no one cared, the graduation ceremony had already ended. Seo Ji-woo took a step, looking at the empty playground where there was not a single person to be seen among the many people.

“There was a time when I didn’t have a single friend. The kids didn’t play with me, saying I smelled poor.”

“Ah, those fucking bastards are talking so rudely.”

Seo Ji-woo burst out laughing like a breath when he saw Lee Hyun-joon reacting intensely, unlike him, even though he had just casually brought it up because it reminded him when he saw the empty playground. White breath spread round above the cold air.

“Why are you laughing? It’s not something to laugh about. Do you remember the names of those bastards?”

“I don’t remember. I forgot everything because it’s not an important memory for me anymore.”

“… That means there was a time when you couldn’t forget.”

“Of course there was. I even searched what the smell of poverty was, and washed my school uniform three times every time I washed it.”

“Try to remember at least one of them again. It’s not something to just let go of.”

Seo Ji-woo, who felt affection for Lee Hyun-joon, who was seriously fuming, stroked Lee Hyun-joon’s warm cheek even though they were in the cold air. Only then did Lee Hyun-joon calm down a bit and listen to Seo Ji-woo’s words again.

“When the kids did that to me, I really thought I had that smell, so there were times when I hid after school and went home alone after all the kids went home. When I looked at the playground then, it was empty like this.”

“……”

“After that, whenever I saw the empty playground, I kept thinking of that time, so I didn’t feel very good. I’m not as sad as I was then, but it’s still not a good memory. But not anymore.”

Looking up at Lee Hyun-joon’s face, which looked angry and upset, Seo Ji-woo smiled.

“Do you know what I thought when I saw that there was not a single person on the playground just now?”

“What did you think?”

“Ah, what should I eat for lunch with Hyun-joon? Since it’s cold, should I suggest eating instant tteokbokki on the way? Ah, no. It would be better to go home, wash up, and eat comfortably…. That’s what I thought. I said that because I was surprised that I didn’t immediately think of what happened before. I didn’t say it because I was upset. I’m really okay now. I was alone then, but I’m not alone now.”

Seo Ji-woo smiled brightly. It wasn’t a face trying to hide sad feelings with a smile. It was a bright smile that truly looked happy. Lee Hyun-joon, who filled his two eyes with the beautifully smiling Seo Ji-woo, held onto his tightening heart.

“The smell of poverty? You wouldn’t have smelled like that in the first place. There’s no way. They were probably just trying to get attention in a fucking immature way. But you should only like someone as good-looking as me, and since there’s no one in the world as good-looking as me, you wouldn’t have even paid attention to those fucking split-faced bastards. That’s where their mentality got fucked up.”

Lee Hyun-joon, who covered both of Seo Ji-woo’s cheeks, which had turned pale from the cold winter wind, with his palms, let out a low breath mixed with laughter. Every time he moved his body, the wrapping paper of the bouquet held in his arms rustled.

“I’ll erase all the sad memories you have. From now on, only remember me like you do now.”

Lee Hyun-joon was serious. He even looked solemn. Seo Ji-woo nodded his head as he looked at his face. He liked that Lee Hyun-joon always showed his sincerity without packaging it. Whenever he suddenly embraced him with this unprocessed love, showing how much he liked him and how much he thought of him, Seo Ji-woo became so happy that he couldn’t fully express it in words.

“Yeah, I’ll only remember you.”

“… Ji-woo.”

“Yeah?”

“I… I love you!”

A huge, newly discovered love with a rough cross-section entered his heart. Seo Ji-woo burst into laughter as he looked at Lee Hyun-joon, whose face had turned red unlike usual and couldn’t even make eye contact well. The love Lee Hyun-joon expressed was so cute and lovely.

“… Why, why are you laughing? Is the timing bad? Is it cringey? Ah, this isn’t how I was going to say it for the first time, but I suddenly wanted to say it so badly….”

“It’s not cringey at all. I like it. I like it so, so much.”

“… But why are you laughing?”

“I’m laughing because I like it. Suddenly wanting to say it so badly… I like it so much. It means you like me a lot.”

“This is the first time I’ve said something like this. To be honest, I thought it would be embarrassing to say something like this… but I can do it. No, it’s not just that I can do it, I felt like I would really die if I didn’t say it. Wow, what is this?”

Lee Hyun-joon was expressing exactly what was in his heart right now. The feeling that he had to say it or he wouldn’t be able to stand it, the emotions boiling up to the point where it wouldn’t be strange at all if his heart exploded. Such feelings were filling his heart. And Seo Ji-woo found the answer to that in Lee Hyun-joon.

“I love you too, Hyun-joon.”

“……”

“… Is it cringey?”

“……”

Unable to answer at all, Lee Hyun-joon barely shook his head. How could the love you expressed be cringey? That it was a word that could never be attached to you, that although he may have been loved by someone before… this was the first time he faced love with his two eyes, two ears, and his whole heart…. He wanted to say it all, but his heart was so overwhelmed that he couldn’t speak.

“… I like it. I like it so much that I don’t know what to do.”

Seo Ji-woo, who laughed as he looked at Lee Hyun-joon, who looked like he was about to cry, reached out his hand. Soon, Lee Hyun-joon’s hand, which was warm even in winter, held his hand.

“Hurry home and give me a kiss.”

“… A kiss isn’t enough to express it.”

“Then a french kiss?”

Seo Ji-woo laughed as Lee Hyun-joon nodded his head at the french kiss, even though he said a kiss wasn’t enough, which was so cute, and he also nodded his head following Lee Hyun-joon.

“You’re cute, Lee Hyun-joon.”

“Not Lee Hyun-joon….”

“I got it. You’re cute, Hyun-joon.”

Only then did Seo Ji-woo laugh out loud as he looked at the grinning Lee Hyun-joon, and he moved his steps again toward the school gate, which was only a few steps away, swinging their tightly held hands back and forth.

“Should we get instant tteokbokki to-go on the way? We can just go home, wash up quickly, and boil it.”

“Should we? Let’s also buy honey butter french fries.”

“Yes, what about the noodles? Ramen? Cold noodles?”

“Hmm, ramen.”

“Ah, I’m suddenly hungry. I should also fry some rice.”

“Yes, I’d like that. I think I can eat a lot.”

Seo Ji-woo, who answered with a smile, looked back at the school one last time as he left the school gate. He couldn’t remember well when he first stepped through this school gate, but now, the moment he was leaving for the last time, was something he would probably never forget for the rest of his life.

It was the first time he wasn’t afraid of standing at the edge of something. He had always been so anxious and lived wrapped up in the tension brought on by that anxiety before the end approached, because the fear of the new things that invariably came before he could even feel the regret for the “end” was always so great.

But not now. He wasn’t scared or anxious at all. The fact that the future was vague remained unchanged, but he felt like he could do anything because he knew that he had something in his heart and hands that would never end no matter how much time passed. Because he was no longer alone.

The graduation congratulatory banner attached above the school gate fluttered in the winter wind. Graduation. Seo Ji-woo quietly repeated that word one more time.

It was a graduation from being nineteen and from all the time he had been alone.

* * *

The restaurant was crowded with people even before mealtime. Lee Hyun-joon took out the order form and pen from the apron around his waist and approached the table near the entrance.

“Are you ready to order?”

“Yes. I’ll have the garlic and spicy B set here. Please give me two glasses of blanc for the draft beer.”

After checking the quantity on the order form, Lee Hyun-joon confirmed once again that the order was correct. The customers sitting at the table just roughly said it was correct and blatantly stared at Lee Hyun-joon’s face.

“Shall I prepare the beer first?”

“Yes, please. Oh, and this.”

A woman handed a business card to Lee Hyun-joon, who was about to leave the table. It wasn’t embarrassing at all because it was something he experienced almost every day, to exaggerate a bit, but it was a little annoying to have to waste even a single minute on something like this when he had a lot of work to do. However, since he was working, he couldn’t fully express that annoyance.

“I’m sorry. I have a lover.”

Lee Hyun-joon, who suppressed his annoyance and spoke as politely as possible, bowed his head courteously and then left the table.

“Hyun-joon, what is it? Again?”

“Yes.”

“What the hell, really? Wow… amazing. Not a day goes by without it.”

Lee Hyun-joon ignored the boss’s chatter with one ear and entered the order he had just received into the POS system. Even as he printed out the receipt, put it on the wall on the kitchen side, and went to take another order, the boss kept talking about how he rejected getting numbers every day.

The fact that this boss liked to make useless and pointless remarks was something he knew from the time of the interview. From the story that another franchise store was doing so well that they were opening one more, which he wasn’t very curious about, to the story of how he had suffered and overcome it at one point, he talked so much that Lee Hyun-joon even thought he had come to the wrong place.

However, it had the big advantage of being very close to the convenience store where Seo Ji-woo worked, and it also had the undeniable advantage that the boss liked his face and physique, so he could work the hours he wanted. Moreover, how could he refuse when the boss said he would give generous bonuses according to sales? Lee Hyun-joon started working at the large chicken cafe the very next day, receiving all sorts of special treatment.

It had only been ten days since he started, so it was too early to say anything about working, but still, it was nice to be able to go to work together with Seo Ji-woo and also go home together after work, so he had no major complaints yet.

Not being able to see each other’s faces much while working was a problem if it was a problem, but these days, he was trying to get used to a life of working regularly every day, knowing that he had to endure all of this to live more happily with Seo Ji-woo.

Ah… I miss Ji-woo. Is it right that we can’t see each other this often even though we’re only a minute apart?

Lee Hyun-joon, who let out a sigh, put two glasses of draft beer on a tray and moved to the hall full of customers.

Hoping that the sun would set quickly and time would pass so that he could meet Seo Ji-woo.