Rising Shards

Marmalade didn’t want to overtly look like she was just sobbing in the garden in the girls’ dorm, but she was sobbing in the girls’ dorm, so it was kind of hard to avoid that appearance. She was torn between wanting to just cry it out alone and deal with it like that, and for someone, anyone to help her. Help her how? She had no clue. Maybe just listen to her. But that would require her opening up, and that was rather tough.

“Whoa, you good there?” It was Iris, one of the girls from class. Her friend Maia was behind her. Marmalade wasn’t prepared for someone to actually ask her if she was alright, and that made her sob harder.

“There, there.” Iris said as she patted Marmalade’s back. “MaiMai, give her an ol’ Kanibari pat on the back, but like the claw free kind, OK? I'm talkin' all paw pad here. I think she needs it.”

“I think you got the pats handled well there.” Maia said.

“Fine, fine, whatever,” Iris said. “So you need to talk about it, girlie? You just wanna cry it out?”

“If Iris is being too annoying, just tell me, and I’ll drag her off.” Maia said.

“N-no,” Marmalade said, sniffing deeply. “Thanks for uh. Yeah. This is super embarrassing.”

“Hey, I cry all the time, it’s all good.” Iris said. “I cried super hard at that movie about the toxic sludge serial killer." 

"Toxic Sludge Killer IV: The Kills are Sludge was totally campy, I still don't get how you cried about it." Maia said.

"It made me sad! The family really wanted to win that boat in that contest before toxic sludge guy melted them!" Iris said. "Anyways, I’m a good listener if you need it! We both are.”

“I can’t verify my listening skills.” Maia said. “But I’m like. In a good mood and junk. So you know. If you need us.”

“You’re fine,” Marmalade said. “I’m just having a rough week, I guess.”

“You’re one of the newbies, right?” Iris asked. “Is someone giving you grief for being a newbie? Do you need Maia and me to fight em?”

“I’m not fighting anyone, sorry.” Maia said. “And don’t count on Iris to fight anyone after last time.”

“Hey!” Iris said. “Fair, but still. Don’t be mean to me.”

“No no, it’s nothing like that,” Marmalade said. “I’m just. Feeling a lot right now. New school blues, I guess. And my roommates are both on dates and it just makes me feel really lonely. I maybe kinda lied to them and said I was seeing a movie with my family. And then told them I was going to have a nice Marmalade self-care night, but I’m not really doing that right now.”

It was a lot all at once, Marmalade had to admit to herself. So she gave herself a slight break for continuing to bawl in front of Iris and Maia, who didn’t offer much support other than back pats while she sobbed.

“Hold it right there!” A girl yelled, making Marmalade flinch, thinking she was breaking some rule for crying in the garden or something. It was the fox Kanibari Amara, who flashed a badge very quickly. It looked like a toy badge but again, it was flashed too fast for Marmalade to tell, especially with watery eyes. “Miss, are these two giving you grief?”

“No, they’re helping,” Marmalade sniffed. She wasn’t prepared for a third person to come up offering help, and started crying harder. “Trust me, they’re helping.”

“It doesn’t look like it,” Amara said, turning her nose up at Iris and Maia.

“I don’t know what to tell you, we’re helping her,” Maia said, patting Marmalade hard on her back.

“Hmmm,” Amara said. “Well, I understand there is great tension among the campus as of late, what with the competition between ourselves and Wildfire Hearts incoming. I would hope Iris and Maia aren’t pressuring you into perhaps performing more greatly at the battle?”

“What are you even talking about?” Iris asked. “You think we’re capable of pressuring anyone into doing better at school?”

“Well, as an unofficial hall monitor, I must keep an eye on everything,” Amara said. “And you did just get into a scuffle in front of the whole class.”

“Ouch, fair,” Iris said.

“The other girl started it.” Maia said.

“Aww, MaiMai,” Iris said. “You’re too nice to me.”

“But enough about them.” Amara said, her attention back on Marmalade. “Are you sure you’re alright?”

Marmalade sniffed again, tears still streaking down her face. “I…don’t know.” Her face contorted. She didn’t know she had this much cry in her. At this point, she wasn’t even entirely sure why she was crying.

“Move aside, ladies,” Amara said, pushing past Iris and Maia to sit next to Marmalade.

“Alright, I think I’m gonna say we should all stop making it a competition to stop seeing who’s the best at comforting Marmalade and to just like. Comfort her, maybe?” Iris suggested.

“You’re just saying that because I’m doing better at comforting,” Amara said. She gently rubbed Marmalade's shoulders. “There, there, Marmalade. Would you like to confide in your new bestie Amara Allegro about what ails you?”

“I, uh,” Marmalade said. “I told them kinda the gist of it, but this has just been a long week, with the new school and all, and. I’m just a bit overwhelmed, I guess.”

“Mhmm, hmhm.” Amara said. “Hmmm. Is that all?”

“That’s most of it,” Marmalade said.

“But there’s more,” Amara said.

“I mean…” Marmalade felt pressured by Amara’s wide-eyed, intense glare to reveal more about what exactly ailed her. “I’m kinda really nervous. About fitting in, I guess.”

“Whatever for?” Amara asked. “You don’t seem like you have any issue fitting in so far this week.”

“I guess, but,” Marmalade said. “Did you actually notice me in class? I’m just a tall and awkward weirdo.”

“I don’t think you’re as tall as Maia,” Iris said. “She’s super tall.” Maia rolled her eyes.

“Well, maybe not just height, but,” Marmalade said. “I’m getting hit with a sudden. Ugh. Normally it’s not even hard for me to say.”

“What is it?” Amara asked. “If it’s that you’re a drug crime lord, I will have to report you to the local authorities, I’m warning you now.”

“It’s not that,” Marmalade said. “I’m just. I’m transgender. So I’m scared I won’t…fit in.”

“Right, and transgender is…?” Iris asked, prompting a firm elbow from Maia. 

“How long did Zeta and I friggin’ spend explaining it to you?”

“Huh? Ohhhhh, that whole thing,” Iris said. “Why would that stop us from you from, from you fitting, from us, from you—”

“You’ll have an easier time fitting in here than Iris does finishing sentences at least.” Maia said.

“You cut me off before I could finish that one,” Iris said. “But in your defense, that sentence was going nowhere.”

Marmalade laughed. Iris and Maia were in their own little world it seemed. Talking to them tended to swing the conversation to them, but it wasn’t in a malicious way. As far as Marmalade could tell, the two just had a firm bubble together and when you were within that, you were generally subject to their bubble being about themselves. But even if the focus was taken off of Marmalade’s worries, she was still included in whatever tangent the conversation was going on.

“Regardless of these two’s likely dimwitted understanding of yourself and your gender identity and expression,” Amara said. “I’d like to add that in Novu—Rain’s country, you know Rain, don’t you?”

“She’s the girl you and KJ are always like. Into, right?” Marmalade asked.

“Uh huh,” Amara said. “So you can ask Rain to verify this, but I’m not lying, in Novu, transgender people are considered as near a status as royals.”

“Oh, I don’t know much about Novu,” Marmalade said. “That’s…that’s really cool.”

“Indeed.” Amara said. “So since I love Rain, by proxy I love Novu, and I love Novu, so I want to uphold their traditions, so know that I will always treat you with respect.”

“Th-thanks.” Marmalade said. Amara seemed to be making it more about herself and Rain and Rain’s country, but the kindness was still there, at least. Again, Marmalade would rather be included in someone else’s bubble than to be left out of any.

“But enough about us.” Amara said, as if reading Marmalade’s mind. “Would you like to tell us more about yourself? Perhaps that would let you feel like you’d fit in more.”

“I uh,” Marmalade felt tears in her eyes again. “Maybe soon, but I kind of need to cry this out a bit more.”

“I’m sorry, did I say something hurtful unintentionally?” Amara asked.

“Probably.” Maia said.

“No, just,” Marmalade said. “All of you caring about me like this is new to me, and it means a lot.”

“Well, get used to it.” Iris said. “That’s what we’re about at this school.”

“Dude, that was so corny, did you get paid by Penteldtam to say that?” Maia asked.

“Hey, shut up, that sounded super nice in my head!” Iris said.

Marmalade laughed, feeling a weight lifted off of her more and more. Maybe this school wouldn’t be so scary.