Chapter 9 - America Stranded in a Fantasy Worl- I mean, Alan Stranded in a Desert
I slowly rose to my feet before looking at the person who caused all of this, and began to speak. “You… You mother-fucking-”
. . .
“-Bitch ass shitfaced motherfucker!” Aris screamed at him. He also yelled the same thing, which was odd. “Why do you even run with that fucking idiot! He just left us to die in the Uncharted Sands! Do you realize how much of a screw up you are!? It’s your fault you befriended a person who’s that much of a fucking idiot!”
. . .
“MY fault!? MY fault!? YOU’RE THE PERSON WHO FUCKING ATTACKED ME, YOU CRAZY BITCH! YOU’RE THE PERSON WHO CAUSED THIS! IT’S NOT RYAN’S FAULT HE’S GOT EVERY SINGLE MENTAL DISABILITY IN THE WORLD!” I rebuked, equally loud, if not louder. Then, I took a deep breath. “Alright, let’s all just calm down-”
. . .
I am most definitely NOT gonna calm down, Aris thought, then lunged at this stupid motherfucker Alan. “Give me the catalyst! It’s better off in my hands anyway!” She shrieked, grabbing at his collar. “You barely even know how to use it, I’m doing you a favor!” She patted herself down for an extra dagger, then when she couldn’t find any, she narrowed her eyes and prepared to tear out Alan’s throat.
. . .
I saw her stance change, then decided to try to de-escalate. Pulling out the strange object that I had used to activate the wizard’s staff, I showed it to the cat lady- I MEAN BITCH, who immediately tensed up and halted her attempt to charge me.
. . .
“Alright listen, you want this thing right here, correct?” Alan waved the elven catalyst around, worth countless units of every type of currency from the Gitopollagónes to the Northern Sea, as if it was a stick. She stiffly nodded. She needed it.
“Well then, If you don’t do what I say, then I’m going to blow it to pieces with this here K18.” The man, who she now recognized as a soldier, or at least someone with a soldier’s training judging by how he fought, pulled out the same boomstick that the idiot Ryan had used against the horse. She froze.
“Don’t! Do you know how much that’s worth?” She blurted out. This fucker Alan, was going to destroy probably the most powerful catalyst the Uncharted Sands had seen.
“Perfectly honest-”
. . .
“-No, I don’t,” I said plainly without emotion. “But, I don’t care if it’s worth more than a night with Kim Kardashian, I’m gonna to the equivalent of blowing its brains out if you don’t chill the fuck out.” I gambled that she wasn’t gonna give up the catalyst just for a chance to kill me. It was a pretty good gamble too. After all, she was willing to kill me for it just a few moments ago. I let her think about it.
. . .
I thought about it for a moment. I could charge him and kill him before he could aim the boomstick at me, but that would most definitely be the loss of the catalyst. She wasn’t even sure if the boomstick could destroy the catalyst. Elven catalyst’s were very durable. But those boom- No, the K18 weapon, was powerful as well. It seemed to be a miniature version of the longer boomsticks. She just couldn’t gamble on the catalyst. So, she decided to play along with the human.
For now.
. . .
“Fine. What are your terms?” Cat bitch glared at me, relaxing her stance and leaning on one leg.
“For one, stop trying to kill me. That very clearly didn’t get you anywhere, and DEFINITELY wouldn’t have gotten you anywhere in the first place. For, uh, two, help me, or really help us, get to Shadow Canyon.” I explained. Cat bitch raised her eyebrow at the word Shadow Canyon.
. . .
“Shadow Canyon? Never heard of it. There’s a reason the Uncharted Sands are uncharted, y’know. Dumbass.” Aris sneered.
“Stop calling me a dumbass too. That’s also a term.”
“Since when?” She said in a mocking tone.
“Since three seconds ago. I made it up. Anyway, Shadow Canyon is our ticket out of these, ‘Uncharted Sands’, or whatever you call 'em’. I have an agreement with the Helmet Bitch to give me and Ryan transportation out of this godforsaken desert. And now that Ryan’s gone ahead, it’s most likely that our entries into the canyon will be separate, and that means that I’m not gonna have backup when I need it.”
I narrowed my eyes. “I want you to help me blow up the Shadow Canyon Research Facility.”
She sighed. “Will I get the catalyst after?”
“Yes.”
“Then it’s a deal.”