Re:Zero: No Job, No Magic, Just a Stupid Romance System

Chapter 21: Chapter 21: Picnic Accident with Sylphirudi, System Muttering



Batir silk flower is a common economic crop in the Kingdom of Asura. It resembles lavender in shape, and its flowers are a soft purple color. The flowers are edible and require minimal care to grow, making them an easy-to-manage crop. Due to their pleasant fragrance, they are often processed into spices and sent to the capital, where workshops produce various perfumes from them for distribution throughout the kingdom.

Buena Village is a small settlement whose livelihood depends mainly on wheat and batir silk flowers.

At the edge of the forest, three figures moved through the dense patches of purple batir silk flowers—one tall and two small.

"How long until we get there, Sylphi?" Rudy asked.

Sylphi gently brushed aside the purple flowers beside her and glanced at Rudy.

"The tower is far from the village. It will take about another hour to walk there."

Rudy looked surprised.

"That far? Why did your father ask you to deliver food? Wouldn't it have been better to make some in the morning and bring it with you?"

Sylphi replied quietly, "The tower has rotating shifts. Because manpower is tight, Father usually stays there for five days at a time. So there's no way to prepare food for that long in advance."

"Oh, that makes sense. So that basket of bread is for a whole day's meal?"

Sylphi nodded.

Behind the two, Allen was pulling flower spikes from the swaying purple blossoms, crushing them in his palms until only the seeds remained. Without looking up, he asked:

"But the bread in the basket isn't edible, right? Can we really go there empty-handed?"

Rudy was stunned by the question and glanced helplessly at Sylphi. Sylphi leaned back, eyes flickering in the breeze as she looked at Allen.

"Father can hunt. The food was dirty before, and there was no time to cook again, so that's why it's like this. But if luck isn't on our side and there are no rabbits nearby... we might still go hungry."

"Is that so?" Allen twisted the seeds in his hand and looked toward the nearby woods.

"An hour's walk is enough. Is the tower tall? Is it easy to spot?"

Rudy blinked, unsure why Allen was asking, but answered honestly.

"I heard from Father it's three meters tall with a net around it to keep monsters out. It should be easy to recognize."

Allen smiled, stopping to look at the two confused kids.

"Then you go ahead. There's still time. I'll go find some food."

An hour later, at the forest's edge.

"Who are you, handsome?" Rudy asked, staring wide-eyed at the beautiful elf with pointed ears and blonde hair atop the tower. Then he quickly apologized, using the words he had prepared.

"Hello, I'm here to apologize. We accidentally dirtied your lunchbox. Please don't blame Sylphi."

On the tower, Sylphi's father, Roz, looked at Rudy, then at Sylphi, who lowered her head silently. He didn't even mind Rudy calling her by the wrong name.

"Luffy, were you bullied again today?"

Sylphi stiffened and stammered, "No, Father, someone helped me today, but... I accidentally dirtied my lunchbox again. Sorry, Father."

Roz sighed, a helpless look crossing his serious face.

"Is this happening again? It's tough for you, Luffy. Maybe it's better if your mother sends your meals in the future?"

"No, I can do it."

"Then next time you're bullied, tell me, and I'll get justice for you. Don't make up lies about dirtying yourself, okay?"

"Okay."

Rudy watched their exchange, blinking.

Luffy... I wonder if Sylphy can move freely. Uh, off-topic. 'Luffy' is her nickname. Sounds friendly.

Roz turned his head toward Rudy, who bowed deeply at a perfect 90 degrees.

"Actually, it wasn't Luffy who dirtied the lunchbox, but Ai. It happened when I was helping him. Sorry."

Allen hasn't returned yet... Damn, he must have planned for this and said he'd get some food... Cunning. Since I'm his friend, I'll take responsibility! Also, so this family has another child besides Paul.

"You kids are very sensible. Don't keep taking the blame. I know it was some village kids who threw the mud. You're kind to help, and the lunchbox isn't important. What's your name?"

"Nice to meet you, I'm Ru."

Before Rudy could say more, Roz's expression darkened. Suddenly he straightened, drew his bow, and shot an arrow like a shooting star toward the forest!

But the arrow abruptly stopped midair, swallowed silently by the shadows like a lurking beast.

Roz's face turned grim.

"You two, go back to the village and notify the knights."

Mid-sentence, his eyes widened, staring where the arrow vanished.

Rudy and Sylphy followed his gaze.

A huge shadow shaped like a wild boar slowly approached the tower.

Sylphy instinctively covered her mouth, turned to run as her father instructed, but Rudy grabbed her.

She turned back in panic, only to see Rudy admiringly motion her to watch.

Sylphy blinked and looked toward the approaching figure.

It wasn't a monster—not exactly—but it was a monster.

A figure emerged ahead of the beast, breaking through the gloomy forest, light and shadows swirling around him.

He dragged the massive wild boar's tusk in one hand, an arrow in the other, and walked beneath the tower as Sylphy watched, mouth covered, eyes wide.

"Since there's no bread, let's eat pork for lunch."

Allen tossed the boar's body like garbage in front of the three, handing the arrow back to Roz, who had jumped down from the tower, stunned.

Then Allen clapped his hands.

"Try my cooking."

Later, Allen sincerely asked Rudy to use magic to start a fire and make water.

An hour passed, and the smell of barbecue filled the air.

Rudy used a magical water cannon to wash away the blood from the slaughtered beast, creating shallow clear waves on the ground.

The four sat around a platform made with earth magic, with simple tables, chairs, and benches—also crafted from earth magic.

A barbecue grill sat in the center.

Strictly speaking, Rudy was doing the cooking; Allen was just cutting, skewering, and flipping the meat.

But Rudy enjoyed it—it felt like a picnic and BBQ by a river, reminding him of his previous life. Back then, he had no friends to picnic with, but now—even if his friends were only two children—it felt good.

"I didn't expect the seeds of the batir silk flower to be such a great seasoning. Delicious~" Rudy moaned like a happy otaku.

Roz, standing nearby, wasn't interested in food but looked at Allen with admiration.

"I didn't expect you to be Rudy's swordsmanship teacher Paul mentioned. So young, and friends with Luffy. Please take good care of her. Also, her hair color is a bit unusual. Please don't give her strange looks."

"Don't worry, uncle. Sylphy is our friend, of course."

Sylphy's cute pointed ears twitched as she looked silently at Allen. In front of her, pieces of perfectly roasted meat piled up like a small mountain on a leaf.

Allen turned to Rudy, who was stuffing his mouth with meat, ignoring his future fiancée.

Allen sighed inwardly. Seeing Sylphy panic, he added another piece to her meat mountain.

Looking at Rudy like this, even if Sylphy hadn't cut her hair short, he wouldn't guess she's a girl. No need to rush pairing them up—let things happen naturally between two innocent kids.

Sylphy is the main plot character. Introducing Ariel soon to open the Azura throne battle arc. White Mother is cute and likable but mostly a plot device. Her main role seems to be...

Uh, curing Rudy's impotence so he can have complete "hardware" for a harem? Quietly maintaining harem harmony? The child has nothing to do with the savior, and a world where childhood sweethearts lose is born?

Thinking this, Allen wore a pitiful expression as he added another piece of meat in front of the defeated "White Mother" of the young ecology.

Her eyes widened.

"Ai Allen, I really can't eat."

"You can."

Allen raised an eyebrow and looked at Sylphy, who trembled but stuffed the meat into her mouth, looking at him with blinking eyes like a small animal.

"I ate it."

"Great~"

Roz just watched quietly, smiling.

Although strictly speaking, only one of the four was a child.

After the meal, Allen took a piece of wild boar skin from the remains and gave the rest to Roz.

The three went back to the hillside, where many children played.

As they approached, a little boy screamed in terror and the crowd dispersed, as if avoiding a plague.

Allen casually moved to a tree and carved a few words with his sword:

— Rudy, Sylphy, Allen's territory.

Territory access permit conditions:

Kowtow three times to Sylphy.

Allen grinned, satisfied.

Then he looked at Rudy, who suddenly looked pale and held his stomach.

He glanced at Sylphy, sweating heavily but forcing a smile.

Suddenly, she collapsed.

"Sylphy!"

Rudy reached out to support her, but as he stepped forward, his legs gave out and he fell too.

On the ground, Rudy realized something and looked at Allen—who was frantically supporting Sylphy—with disbelief.

The conversation during the barbecue flashed through his mind:

"The seeds of the batir silk flower are mildly toxic. They stimulate the tongue to produce pain. It's a natural spicy ingredient. Detox? Not necessary. I eat it often; it metabolizes harmlessly."

"It's not a big deal."

Rudy rolled his eyes and fainted.

In conclusion: under Allen's careful feeding, the two children ate too much batir silk flower seed powder, leading to acute poisoning.

Comparing his own body to two five-year-olds, Allen realized the problem.

He looked embarrassedly at Senis, who rushed to the clinic after hearing the news.

"I'm sorry, Senis, sorry, Roz. The kids didn't mean it. Luo Qixi noticed excessive intake of this seed powder causes fainting—don't think I used it wrongly? Luckily, I won't see her for a few years."

Senis, in a white clinic coat, looked at Allen with a displeased expression. She didn't scold him but lightly knocked his head with her knuckles.

"Don't eat things you don't understand. If the batir flower seeds were really edible, they'd be popular as a kitchen spice. You act mature but are still a child at heart. Clumsy."

Who's clumsy? Paul?

The 34-year-old child twitched his mouth, glancing at Senis's new skirt and pants. Even her boots were different from the over-the-knee ones she wore earlier—now short boots easy to slip on and off. He was speechless.

Senis placed her hand on the children's foreheads.

"The Breath of God is the source of all nourishment. To those in pain, grant the power to awaken and recover. Detoxify!"

As her voice faded, Rudy and Sylphy's complexions improved. Their lashes fluttered, and they fell into deep, peaceful sleep.

Allen reached out and grabbed Senis's hand.

In her surprised expression, Allen pleaded sincerely.

"Please don't tell Master Paul."

Senis blinked and looked behind Allen.

"But he's right behind you."

"Of course I know this isn't a magic pattern."

Suddenly, a heavy blow struck Allen's head from behind. His eyes went black as he fell.

He tried to look at Paul, who appeared instantly.

"No, Brother Paul, don't be so harsh when teaching a child a lesson!"

As if answering his inner voice, Senis panicked.

"Dear! What are you doing?!"

In his fading vision, Paul pinched Senis's waist hard.

"Don't worry, Allen's in good shape. I know what I'm doing. This punishment will knock some sense into him. By the way, wife, I haven't..."

"You! Don't move. Mrs. Thorin is still at the clinic today."

"I told her to go home."

Paul, you're not human. You don't even look at your brothers when playing clinic uniforms. How is this possible?

Darkness closed in as Paul and Senis struggled. Allen twisted his head and fainted completely.

Unlike his earlier fake fainting when meeting Loki, this time he passed out fully under Brother Paul's care.

The system panel slowly appeared and dissipated like smoke in the air.

[Detected host physical contact with Senis. Detox magic released by Senis in the previous minute is now retracting.]

[Search successful: Embedded magic pattern — Intermediate Detoxification Technique.]

[So far, very good~]

[Good night, Allen.]


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