NOVEL WEB Chapter 18: chapter 18
Gu Xianer steps into the kitchen, her steps hesitant but resolute. Normally, Fang Yuan would be by her side, his presence a shield against the sharp tongues of the servants. But today, she is alone. His absence is palpable, and the servants, sensing an opportunity, begin to whisper among themselves, their voices dripping with malice.
"Look at her," one servant sneers, her voice just loud enough to carry. "Gu Xianer is making things difficult for her brother again. She must have eaten all his food yesterday. No wonder he's so tired he hasn't woken up yet. Poor Fang Yuan, always having to take care of her like she's a child. Even though they're twins, he acts more like her mother. She'll never understand how much he sacrifices for her."
Another servant chimes in, her tone mocking. "And now she's here, probably thinking she can devour his breakfast too. How selfish can one person be? Really, she's monstrous. A girl like her is nothing but a curse. I feel sorry for her future husband. He'll go broke just trying to feed her. Ha ha ha!"
Their laughter is cruel, their words cutting deeper than they have any right to. Gu Xianer feels the sting of tears in her eyes, but she blinks them back, refusing to let the servants see her weakness. She clenches her fists, her nails digging into her palms as she tries to steady herself. But the memories come flooding back, unbidden and relentless.
In her mind, she is a child again, standing in front of her aunt, who looks down at her with disdain. "Are you a girl or a pig?" her aunt's voice is sharp, laced with contempt. "Who will marry a pig? How can you eat that much food? Were you a hungry beast in your previous life?"
The memory shifts. Her uncle's voice now, cold and dismissive. "Gu Xianer, you're eating the food of two adults in every meal. Are you not going to get married? Who will marry a girl like you?"
Another scene flashes before her eyes. She and Fang Yuan are younger, much younger. The servants have prepared dinner early, and the aroma has been too much for her to resist. She sneaks a bite, only to be caught by Fang Zheng, who erupts in anger. "Can't you control yourself for a few moments? Don't you have any common sense? Always eat, eat, eat! Are you the reincarnation of a food-devouring hungry beast?"
Tears stream down her cheeks now, hot and uncontrollable. She has always tried to be better, to control herself, but the hunger—whether it is for food or for something deeper—always seems to win. The mockery from her family, the servants, even the lowliest members of the household, has followed her like a shadow. She carries their words with her, a heavy burden she can never quite shake.
But amidst the pain, there is one constant, one voice that has always stood by her. Fang Yuan. His gentle words, his unwavering defense, his quiet strength. He has always been there, shielding her from the worst of it, reminding her that she is more than their cruel words. "Fight back," he tells her, his voice firm but kind. "Don't let them define you."
The memory of Fang Yuan's voice steadies her, a lifeline in the storm of her emotions. She wipes her tears with the back of her hand, her jaw tightening as she fights to regain control. She won't let them see her break. She won't let their venomous words carve deeper into her soul. Fang Yuan has always believed in her, even when she couldn't believe in herself. His faith in her is a quiet, unyielding force, and today, she will honor that faith. She will prove to herself—and to them—that she is more than their cruel taunts.
With a deep, shuddering breath, she straightens her shoulders, her spine stiff with resolve. The whispers of the servants buzz around her like gnats, their sneers and laughter grating against her ears, but she refuses to let them penetrate her armor. She focuses on the task at hand, her movements deliberate and calm, as if each step is a silent rebellion against their judgment. She approaches the table where the breakfast has been laid out, her hands steady despite the tempest raging within her. She picks up the tray, the weight of it grounding her, and turns to leave.
As she does, one of the servants mutters under her breath, her voice dripping with disdain, "Look at her, acting all high and mighty. As if she's not the same glutton she's always been. I am sure she is thinking about eating it alone. Really feeling sorry for the person who will marry her. Her husband would starve to death."
Gu Xianer freezes, her grip tightening on the tray until her knuckles turn white. For a moment, the urge to lash out, to scream and defend herself, surges through her like a wildfire. But then Fang Yuan's voice echoes in her mind, calm and firm. "Fight back, Don't let them define you" he has said.
She turns to face the servant, her eyes blazing with a fire that has long been smothered. "No one needs to marry me," she declares, her voice trembling but clear. "My brother will marry me, and I know he will never abandon me."
The room falls silent, the servants stunned into stupefaction. Gu Xianer doesn't wait for their response. She turns on her heel and strides out of the kitchen, the tray clutched tightly in her hands. Her heart pounds in her chest, her breath coming in short, uneven gasps. She has never spoken back to them before, never dared to challenge their cruelty. But now, as she hurries toward Fang Yuan's room, a strange mix of exhilaration and fear courses through her. She has stood up for herself, but at what cost? Will they retaliate? Will Fang Yuan be disappointed in her?
Her thoughts spiral as she approaches his door. "I am not a good girl," she whispers to herself, her voice barely audible. "I always cause trouble for my brother. Do I really deserve him? He told me he would marry me, but am I worthy of him? Maybe I should just disappear somehow, so I don't create any more problems for him."