(Resumed) Solstice

[Emmett]

When I got to my room I let go of my things and dropped to my knees.

I probably spent about half an hour like that, clutching to my chest, shivering feverishly, and breathing erratically.

What was wrong with me? Why was being asked to spend a simple dinner at a cafeteria so....

I couldn't think of the words. Breathe, Em, I thought to my self. I spent the next several minutes taking deep breaths, remembering Grace's packet and trying to inhale until my chest burst open. It didn't of course, but I had to try. Then I'd exhale until my stomach fluttered and I felt a pinch in my sternum.

I felt a little dizzy afterward, but I wasn't panicking anymore.

"Right, So. Dinner." I spoke a three-word incantation and conjured a little pep in my step, changed out of today's clothes, and put on a fresh set. I made a mental note to launder early this week, collected my keys and a few supplies, and left for the cafeteria we shared lunch at the first time.

When I arrived, I opened the front door and immediately saw a dark-skinned hand waving in my periphery.

"Hey Em!" Ansel called, wearing something decidedly different from classroom robes. I looked toward him, and he was wearing a suit, similar to what Abraham wore back at the Entrance Exam.

My cheeks flushed red, and my voice dropped to a murmur. "H-hi." I was hideously under-dressed.

Ansel took a few steps forward, and placed his hand on my shoulder. "You okay?"

I shook, and pulled weakly at my robes.

"I wasn't expecting you to have anything else," he said softly, "You did change into fresh clothes, though, and I appreciate your thoughtfulness."

I took a slow breath, and my frazzled self became a little less.... frazzled. "Th-thank you."

A firm yet gentle hand thumped against my back. "Come on. Let's get a table."

I had followed my friend while he... skipped right past everywhere that was serving a meal. "Ansel?"

"Little later Em, okay?" I could hear a smile, even though his back was toward me.

"Ah, okay." We meandered up a flight of stairs toward an out-of-the-way table and sat across from each other.

"What do you want to eat?" Ansel asked, with a soft harmony in his voice, gazing upon me with soft, gentle brown eyes.

That softness surprised me. Nearly every other time I'd interacted with him, we were either in PT, where his eyes were alight with optimism and competition, or in MMA with a glare that could paralyze me in my own fear.

I focused my eyes and locked them onto his. I was certainly being off-putting, but it's the polite thing to do. "Whichever's fine."

Ansel shook his head. "Nuh uh. Not doing that today."

I blinked. "What... do you mean?"

He gave me a sigh and a smile. "Emmett. I invited you to dinner with me because I want to get to know you better. We both know you can deal with just about anything, but this isn't about dealing." He placed one hand on his chest, and closed his eyes. "So no, I don't want to know what you'd be okay with. I want to know what you want."

What I... wanted? To eat? It was a monumental effort to keep my lower jaw from dropping to the table. What... I wanted?

"Take your time," Ansel said, "I'm already rather enjoying myself."

I felt myself blush. "Hey!" I retorted, without any plan to follow it up, at all.

His laughing made it worse. "Do you really not know?" Ansel asked suddenly, "Surely you have a favorite food, or something like that."

I thought for a few seconds and shook my head. "I guess when we get to have milk. Back at Charade Gin, our butcher, Barbara, she would sometimes offer us ice-cold milk, and it tasted really sweet and nice. I still don't know how she did it."

"Water Magick," Ansel said without a second thought.

"She isn't a Magus?"

Ansel scratched his head. "I can't really think of any other way she could have done it, not in New Bezoun; there may be some novel innovation up in Indis that could work, but you aren't from there."

"She mentioned being from there, so maybe," I stammered, trying desperately to sound like I had any idea what I was talking about.

Ansel's eyes returned their gaze back to mine. "Hmm." He reminded me of a cat for some reason.

I thought about what he said for a moment. If Barbara was a Magus, she did a really good job at hiding it. I'd never seen her cast anything.

Ansel's next question sliced away my thoughts. "Have you ever had cheese?"

Cheese? I tilted my head. "Very rarely?"

"Have you ever had it heated up to where it's almost a liquid?"

There went my jaw again. "You can do that?!"

Ansel belted a bellow of boisterous laughter. "Alright! Ya wanna try something new?"

I shrugged my shoulders. "I mean, sure?"

His mouth curled upward, just the one side. "Come on Em, ya gotta mean it."

My face blanked again. "Mean it?" I thought I said I would!

Dark hands thumped on the table. "Ya can't go through life just accepting everything that comes your way. If you want something, declare it."

My heart started to beat in double time. Why was he pressing this gotta-declare-things bit?!

"So," Ansel asked in the exact same voice as before, "Ya wanna try something new?"

I looked toward him. Be still my beating heart. I opened my mouth, and my breath wavered. Come on, mouth, I begged of myself, just this once, please!!

"Well?" There was no malice or condescension. Ansel was inviting me to respond.

I commanded my body to inhale, and forced a lungful in so fast my stomach started to hurt.

"Em-"

"Y-yes!" I coughed out, all the air leaving in one fell swoop.

"You okay?! Talk to me!"

I breathed in again, and clutched my chest. "Y-y-y-yeah," I stammered, "I-I'm fine, and um, yes, I do want to." I took in another breath. "Th-the new thing, I mean, and I know I'm doing this whole talking and declaring thing wrong, but-"

Ansel burst out in laughter, but it was gentle. I glared at him, but he extended a hand out and laid it atop mine, on the table. His voice rang soft even still. "You're your own man, Em. Whoever you took orders from back in Charade Gin, ain't in your life now."

Jacqueline. Jacqueline wasn't here. She was in Charade Gin, and I in CVAC. I breathed a relaxed sigh and returned to a smiling gaze toward my friend.

"You feeling better?" he asked.

I nodded. "Yeah. I am."

"Good. Wait here." Ansel stood up and bounded off somewhere.

My breathing steadied for a while.

Then I noticed my cheeks were burning.

I spent the next seeming-eternity letting my mind scramble and heart race. Why did Ansel always mess me up like this?! And... Why did it always leave me happy? I looked at my hand, and I could almost feel a soothing aura where he'd touched me. I focused my attention on-

"What are ya giggling about?"

I jumped out of my seat and flailed around a bit, nearly landing on top of a bowl that he had just set down for me.

Ansel held a hand out, and a wave of Æther gently knocked me back into my seat.

"Macaroni and cheese, they call it." Ansel returned to his own seat, with his own dish. "It's shaped unleavened dough, boiled to warmth, decorated with cheese heated up to a nice melt, with seasonings for flavor."

Hm. I picked up the fork that had come with my dish, and pressed it into the elbow-looking cookies before me. It pierced through easily, and my curiosity took hold. "It's soft?"

Ansel had already taken a bite and swallowed when he nodded. "Yeah, it's also kinda firm in the mouth. This one is a very simple recipe, there are other styles with more breading, but I wanted to introduce you to the basic concept."

I scooped out with my fork to capture a bite of my own, and placed it into my mouth. It felt warm, and tasted almost buttery. My tongue glided over the elbow noodle, and my teeth pressed down on the strange material. As Ansel announced, it was soft, yet firm.

I had taken in another bite. And then another. I had always remembered cheese being dry and hard, but this was milky, yet silky in its own right.

It had taken until I had completely emptied my plate to notice Ansel had in fact set his own fork down.

"That good, huh?" he asked.

I blinked. "Y- you were watching?"

He hummed a moment. "You have this sparkle about you when you discover something new."

My cheeks pulsed warm again.

"There's that too-"

"You're not helping!!"

Ansel chuckled. "And the you of ten minutes ago would not have dared say that."

I grit my teeth, but I saw only kindness from him.

Ansel took a few more bites. "Did you do anything for fun? I'm afraid the answer might be no, but I want you to be honest with me."

I looked down, and recalled the past of... barely one week ago, back home. "Sometimes I'd imagine what it would be like if I could cast. If I could call upon flames like Jacqueline and Patrick could, or if I could conjure water so that we'd ever suffer a drought."

Ansel shook his head. "Even your fun time was spent thinking of how you could be of service."

I blinked. "What's wrong with that?"

"It dampens the spirit, especially yours." He set his fork down with the prongs in the dish. "The way you shine when you're exploring your own wants and desires, that's what living should feel like. I also think you'll probably be an Air Magus, but that's beside the point."

Air? Like Samael? I shuddered. Internally; I didn't want to express anything negative toward Ansel.

"Point is, Emmett, I like you."

My heart fell to my groin.

Ansel nodded. "It's true though. You challenge me as a rival, and the way you faced down a metaphorical wall and never once backed down. How you were willing to open up to me about horrific traumas. And just look how far you've come. From a know-nothing who couldn't even cast a single spell, to unknowingly blocking Air Magick with Strengthening, to deliberately throwing a force wave at me!"

I blinked and looked down. "It didn't work, though."

"Not the point." Ansel glanced at me. "Point is, you're the kind of man I think I can see myself being with. But I don't know yet. I don't know because you don't know."

See himself being with?! Just what was he saying!!?

"So I want to bring you along to some group activities I take part in, see what interests ya, and see how you get along. I want you to know yourself a little more. Then I'll have a question for ya."

I blinked, heart pounding. Then a slyness curled my lip. "What might this question be?"

Ansel smirked. "Nice try. You learn more about yourself, then you get to know."

I sighed. "Alrighty." I really wished that that worked.

Ansel stood up, and only then did I notice his meal completely finished. "Come on, let's bring our plates up and get out of here."

I nodded and followed suit. We passed a few more tables, and approached a basin. Ansel dropped off his dishes in the basin and I followed suit.

Ansel turned toward me. "Thank you for eating with me tonight."

"Ah!" I stammered a bit. "Yo-you're welcome."

Ansel opened his arms.

I blinked.

"Only if you'd like."

I nodded, and opened mine in return.

Ansel approached and wrapped me in a hug. "You get some rest, okay?"

I hummed in acknowledgement, and the hug parted.

"Talk to you tomorrow, Em," Ansel said, and then he darted off.

"Yeah," I replied to empty air, a dumbstruck smile on my face. "I will."

I took my first few steps back home after the occasion, and I felt invigorated to an extent. I pushed away some annoying thought being called a man often; it wasn't very important next to everything else that just happened.