Rent a girlfriend: Reincarnated as a responsible menace.

How in the hell did I get into this mess? I mean-

"Kazuya-kun~ would you bring you poor grandma some tea~"

"Yes my idiot grandson, give your elders some tea you are so good at making"

Sigh "Yes Grandma Nagomi, Grandma Sayori, Grandma Chihiro, Gran-"

"Just get it you fool, don't iterate our names, there are too many of us"

"So you do realize that there're more people here than I can manage, is it like a secret organization... wait are you illuminati?"

"How did yo-, I mean stop talking like your father Kazuya, and all of my friends here are from my hospital days."

"...well, I believe you grandma"

Grandma sighs in relief.

I get to the kitchen to prepare the tea.

"Man, I hope Ruka and Mini are not too much in trouble for my absence in the fan meet up. I would need to make up to them"

-At the Fan meet up-

"HELLLOOOO DEGENERATES!!" Mini said calmly into the mic wearing gojo sunglasses.

Audience cheered in the hall.

"ex" Kuri corrected.

This time Ruka said, "Before we begin, I would like to come straight up that Kazuya won't be coming today-"

"NOOOOOO!!"

"-since he has been taken hostage by old grannies, and god knows how he's handling himself there"

-With Kazuya-

"Kazuya!"

"Yes!"

"Who looks better, Gojo or Sukuna"

So grandma's friends are like grandma too. Huh, this day's not gonna be bad after all.

"Hmm The biggest mogger of today vs biggest mogger in history, well while both have there ups and ups, in my opinion the clear winner is..."

-With the Men of Culture-

Kibe dismisses Ruka's worries in a nonchalant attitude.

"Kibe's right, besides who cares if he's not here, cause today the men of culture is going to answer all you guys questions"

Audience were cheering like banshees on drugs.

With that Mini started announcing, "Today we answer your questions, and without the mother hen with us. Which means you'll get 80% more chaos"

Ruka nodded solemmly and said, "And 100% brutally honest"

That was the que, for the questions to flood in.

"Hi I'm Kelly, and my question is how do I tell someone I like them without ruining our friendship?"

Mini answers, "Simple. You don't. You suffer in silence until the crush dies or, you die or, your crush die, or you both get married to other people."

Ruka with an off put face denies like a polite kitten.

"NO YOU DUM-DUM! You tell them honestly what you feel about her, but casually so if she rejects you, then you can play it off as cool"

Kibe interjects, "But that's not gonna work. I mean if the girl is a good friend, then she would realize that you are serious about her."

Mini continues with smug, "Yeah! Baldilokes's right aestroid"

"How do you even know about that?"

"I've my ways"

While they were arguing, with Kibe interjecting and trying to correct them from time to time, Kuri got to Kelly and whispered.

"Overthinking is the worst, first make up your mind and question if you can stay friends with her without making it awkward if she rejects you, if yes then go for it, if no then make up your mind in time, and then make up your mind"

"Thanks Kuri" Kelly gratefully bows a bit.

Meanwhile with Ruka and Mini.

"Ok neither you nor me, he tells her about her feelings, but if she rejects then take his broken heart to himself, do we agree on that Ruka"

"Yeah, it seems better honestly"

Kibe right now, 'I would rather drink gasoline then do it.'

Kuri comes in and says, "You waited so long, the guy figured what he needs to do himself, good job girls and Kibe"

"Hey!"

"Well they should think for themselves or else they would get dependent on us"

"Ruka's right sh-"

"Before you two start your rant, next question please"

"Hey guys, I'm Muta, my question is would my date find it weird if I ask for a second date the same day?"

Before the girls could say Kibe interjected.

"Why not we let Kuri start off first?"

Mini and Ruka looked at him, then one shrugged while other nodded in approval.

Kuri nodded, then turned to Muta and says, "If it's working, then why wait? Shoot your shot if you are up for it"

Kibe nodding says, "Kuri's right, but don't make it sound desperate or anything brother. Go like, 'I know this good coffee place and I'm up for some, what about you' or something casual like this"

Ruka continues, "Act like you're just with a female friend, plus the date part in mix. It would make things feel casual like you're not forcing this, but also it would feel special to her since you're giving her your attention."

Mini also points out, "These are all good advices, but you should also not force yourself to look good in her eyes. Do things at your own place, cause trust me, we girls know when someone is just natural about it or is forcing just to be with you"

Muta smilingly replies, "Thank you. I would surely implement them"

Then came the first girl for a question.

She starts, "Hello I'm Sato Akiko. I-I..."

Mini interjects calmly, "Just take a deep breath, and don't worry. No one's going to judge you here."

Kibe nods, "We're all losers here. Losers who're trying to change themselves for the better"

At the encouraging words Akiko finally gathered her thoughts and talk her heart out, but she was still trembling while speaking.

"I had the most perfect first date. Long convo, stargazing, she said she had a 'soul bond' with me… then nothing. Vanished. Ghosted"

Mini looked at her and said, "Repeat after me Akiko, 'Ghosts belong in horror films, not my DMs'"

Ruka nodding said, "And if they disappear pretending to be your soulmate? Count yourself lucky that you dodged the dirtiest red flag out there. Don't feel bad about this Akiko. It's not your fault"

 Kibe agreeingly said, "Listen to her words. Your date was the weird one. If someone can say 'soul bond' before saying 'good morning' the next day, they're either a con artist or a Final Fantasy character."

Kuri nodding says, "Don't lose hope yet. There're other fish in the sea, while you've only set your sights on a pond. There's much for you to discover"

Akiko now was encouraged and smiling.

Kuri handed her a T-shirt with 'Achievement unlocked: 3 Red Flags and Trauma hidden'

Akiko laughingly took it.

Kuri smilingly thought, 'Another Kai's case is resolved. Well fortunately the damage was not too much like Kai, since they got onto one date and she looked for help immediately.'

'But thinking of Kai... she mentioned of dating a girl... this really seems like Mami's work to be honest. While Kazuya did have me on call when she visited him, just in case. So I know what she said back then... I need to warn both Kazuya and Kibe after this.'

'Well, I need to focus on the more immediate part for now. Hope you're doing good yourself with those old ladies Kazuya. Sigh. God Bless his soul.'

-With Kazuya-

Oh you guys came back to visit us. How's it there? Well I hope you didn't get too bored with the narrator-kun. Me? Oh I'm jus-

"Kazuya come over, it's the good part"

"Ok grannies"

""DEJA VU! I"VE JUST BEEN IN THIS PLACE BEFORE""

Yeah... we're doing our stuff. We're gonna do Karaoke for a long while, and I don't wanna bore you with the lyrics, so... Transition-kun if you will pls >w<

-The Men of Culture-

Mini in a terrible priest voice said, "Forgive us, chat, for we have sinned… by humoring red flags ourselves at one point"

Ruka in a seriously serious face said seriously, "I... once dated a guy who called his mom... mama bear till the entirety of high school"

Mini going with the flow, "Mine brought a ukulele to every date. He didn't even know any chords. The worst part... I humored him"

Kibe with his most uncle like face and hair, or as a fact lack of, says, "I once said 'miss u' to someone I broke up with... twice... in the same night."

Someone in the crowd, "Man... you need some serious dedication for that. And desperation too"

Kuri crossing his arms reveals, "Mine had an astrology app that told her to ghost me every retrograde"

"The hell's a retrograde?"

"It's like messing things sometimes"

Kibe nodding says, "Yeah, like putting coffee instead of cocoa in cake"

"It was not that bad of a mistake asshat"

"It's okay to admit your mistakes trash panda"

"NO! It was you who put the coffee. How did you not notice the smell? I thought you were making tiramisu"

"Sigh. I had smoked 17 ciggs that day."

Silence.

Then... a call on Kibe's phone. He took it out from hid phone. The call ID... 

"It's Kazuya!"

""What?"" Mini and Ruka exclaim.

"Pick it up"

"Kuri?"

"He might need our help you know, he's usually serious about work"

"You are right, the poor guy must be traumatized"

Kibe connects the phone to speakers so that audience could hear and picks up the video call to see... Kazuya in a bar?

"Hey guys! How's the fan meet up going?"

"Fantastically Incredibly awesome Kazuchi, but why do you have beer in your hand"

"Oh this we all were in for some nice drinks actually" He turns his phone for the four to see... 15 old ladies, each with there own drinks.

Grandma Nagomi sipping her sake exclaims, "Oh! Today was to the fanfest"

"Fan fest is too grand Grandma, it's like a crowd comedy"

"Then where are the comedians"

Mini speaks up, "We granny."

"You're not a comedian, your a gamer who needs to see what sunlight looks like"

Mini removes her sunglasses. 

Ruka exclaims, "She's not saying that literally dum-dum! It's her version of touch some grass"

"Can we get to the important part? Why're you in a bar with the grannies?" Kuri asked questioning reality

"Oh that! We actually saw quite a few couples going to the coco bar, and the bartender asked for some help for the sake of the single ladies and the guys in the date."

"Why would he ask for help tho?" Ruka asked

Kibe shaking his head says, "You haven't been to 'The Coco Bar', that's why you are asking this"

This time Mini questions, "Why? Is there like a no couple policy?"

This time Kuri replies, "There should be, but there isn't"

Kazuya nods from the phone, "Yeah. The number of times, there's been catfights here are insane"

"One-sided cat fights" Grandma corrects.

"Why? What's wrong in coco bar?" Ruka questions, while Mini nods in agreement

"Nothing's wrong per say, it's just..." Kibe trails off, clearly not knowing how to explain.

"How about you let them see for themselves Kaz" Kuri suggests.

Kazuya nods and turns the phone to the entirety of bar, only for them to see... cute girls in maid outfit.

""Oh."" Mini and Ruka both had a realization.

"Yeah" Kibe nods.

While Mini and Ruka had a realization that there was indeed a bar with cute girls as waitress... (Aunt Coco is one of the smartest lady in the market just for this tactic.) Kuri was talking to Kazuya.

"I'm glad you're not too troubled. Also good job on helping Aunt Coco, we can leverage this to help us from time to time"

"Thanks man"

"Wait" Kibe interjected, "Isn't this free promotion for Aunt Coco? Everyone in the audience clearly heard us"

"Yeah!!!" The boys are really cheered huh.

Kazuya just smirks and shows a briefcase and gives a wink. While grandma scoffs at the implication that they would be marketing for free.

 Kazuya then says, "We just made a deal with 'The Coco Bar' and every paid member of 'Gentleman & Ladies' would get 40% discount on all there services and 24/7 unrestricted service."

"HELL YEAH!!!"

"ALL HAIL LOVE GURU!!!"

"ALL HAIL GRANDMA"

Audience as you can imagine, were happy out of there wits.

Mini whispers, "We took charge of the whole show for the day... and he came at the ending thirty minutes and stole the show"

It is official... Mini.exe has crashed.

That day the sparks of revenge had been placed.

-Show ends-

Now the hall was empty, and the boys were on the leave. Kibe with his car dropped Ruka and Mini to there house and apartment, while picking up Kazuya, who took it upon himself drop every grandma. 

It took him 2 hours.

-POV to Kazuya-

The three of us were sitting in 'The Coco Bar' acting casual, but the talk was anything but.

"So you're saying Mami might be the one Akiko was dating?" Kibe asked

Kuri nodded, "It's a hunch, but it really gives the same vibes as your Kaz"

"It does seem like her style, but still we can't play blame games just yet. That night when she talked, it really felt like she wanted things to change, but her acting skills were never in question."

Kibe interjected, "What if she meant all that she said, I mean acting is one thing but being able to sound convincing without any expressions to help is a gruelling task in itself, and why would she lie to you when she can just disappear from your life?"

Kuri slowly said, "Internet, her face, name, her past regarding you and Kai, mostly Kai, is already known to most due to the stream she ambushed, months ago. Maybe she wants to appear in good light, by making amends with you and come on stream to change people perception of her."

Hmm, this could be the case. It really sounds plausible and logical, but it's still not confirmed tho.

"Valid points you two, thanks for the heads up man, but there could still be a chance that she was not the same girl. Until we confirm things, we should avoid confronting Mami about this. Also hold the clips of Akiko for now, we can't let her get the hang of this if she's involved."

"We also shouldn't tell Mini and Ruka about this too, the lesser the people the better." Kuri suggested.

"Should we tell Grandma Nagomi?" Kibe asked

I nodded, "She may act silly, but she knows what information to store or make public. Her opinion could be crucial"

They nodded. With that our plan was in the go, if Mami really was acting and not serious about changing, then we need to make sure she stays away from our work entirely. 

We all have invested too much into this, and even one controversy could sell the end of all. 

Since no matter how much love you have for your people, unless you know them personally then you can't trust them.