REND

She looked like me, but she wasn't me.

I am me!

I didn’t have floating creepyass ghost hair. Her skin tone was also different, a shiny marble texture, almost artificial, reflecting the cacophony of lights all around us. And glowing red eyes, I didn’t have those—would be cool if I did.

I thought she was a guy because her breasts weren’t noticeable under her suit. I glanced down on my own not-so-ample bosom and giggled. At least she got that department right. Immature, I know, especially the abnormal situation I was in.

She—I will just call her SpookyErind—grinned at me. Her bunny teeth, which I also had, and are cute by the way, showed in her smile. Did she read the nonsense in my mind?

Although none of this made any fucking sense, it couldn't be denied I was wicked awesome in her outfit, floating through space while sitting on an ancient magical chair.

I said, “Okay, this is weird. I'm going to start with the most important question that needs an answer, asap: am I dead?”

No. Why would you think that? said SpookyErind.

“It's just that my last memory before getting in this dimension, or whatever this place is, was that I was dying.” I folded my arms across my chest, hiding my breast, then I crossed my legs. Was it cold or just my imagination? “Oh, I know! You’re an Adumbrae and you’re going to ask me for my body.”

What are you talking about? I'm you and you're me. You mean our body?

“Sounds really suspicious. I know one of the ways Adumbrae tempt us to give up our bodies is when we're dying, like Myra’s sister. I just want to mention fuck her for getting me into this mess and ruining my day. I digress. Anyway, Kelsey probably decided to make a deal with an Adumbrae to give her a healthy body. And that’s happening to me now, isn’t it? I’m not dying from sickness like her, but pretty much dying...at a very fast rate.”

I'm not asking for your body, because it is our body. I, or rather we, already have this body.

“Wow, that’s such an Adumbrae thing to say. I mean...I haven’t talked to one before. But it makes sense, right? I'm super dead. Like no getting out of that one. The Adumbrae with spikes—wait, can you see what’s happening in the, um, outside world?”

She looked at me smugly. I can see what you see because –

“You are me,” I said. I already knew where this was going.

I know everything you know. Let’s say I'm an Adumbrae. So what? Why do you care? What difference does it make if your next actions are truly your own, or me controlling you? As we always say… She gestured to me to finish the sentence.

“It’s the actions that count." I shook my head. "But, but…that doesn’t apply here.”

Just like there is no difference between Deen being friendly and you being, quote, unquote, friendly from the viewpoint of your classmates. Excuse me, our classmates.

“Those people wouldn’t know the difference between me and Deen because they only see our actions. That’s the point. They will never ever get into our heads, so there’s no difference in their perspective. A truth that can't be seen isn't reality. What they see is what they get. This is different.”

Oh yeah? How so?

“Because we’re inside my head? I, um…” I threw my hands up, at a loss for words, and shrugged my shoulders. SpookyErind smirked at me. She waved her mask around as if egging me on to understand it. I did understand it; I just didn’t want her to win. “You bitch,” I spat out.

Come on, none of that. Don’t go cussing ourselves, she said with a pout.

“Fine, you win. Yeah, you're already in my mind. I won’t know what’s really happening. For all I know, you're already mind-controlling me. It isn't my reality anymore.”

Correct. It's futile to even try to differentiate whether you are mind-controlled or not. We are already talking to each other which means that...

“…that if you could mind control me, you would've already taken over my body. So, there’s no reason for me to fret over this." I scrunched my nose in annoyance. "Is it really this easy to make people give up their bodies? I figured you offer like a healthy body to the sick, eternal youth to the old, superpowers to the… I don’t know… the bored?”

Hey, I told you I'm not taking over your body. It’s just that we're the same person so I know that you know that if I was actually a being taking over your mind, your stance on that matter, and mine as well, is there’s no point thinking about it.

I rolled my eyes. She was correct. Either this proved we were one and the same, or this proved that it was pointless to argue with her. I kept getting trapped today. So annoying. “Again, that’s such an Adumbrae thing to say. Let’s put that aside for now. What’s our agenda here?”

You’re the one who came here. What do you need?

Since there was no point worrying about my mind, I should focus on saving my body. “I'm dying. I don't want to die...hmmm...” I noticed she was still holding up her mask as she smiled at me. A hint? If she was me, then… “I need a new face for this. Not the usual face I use to keep my Rules in front of other people.”

And what face is that?

“Can I borrow your face?” I pointed at her happy face mask. “That’s a face, isn’t it? I don’t know what that does, but that could probably help me out.”

Yep, this is a face. Very good. She put on the black and gold mask, covering her smile with the smile of the mask. But I’m using this one.

“Hey, I thought we are one. Why can’t I have that?”

There’s only one of these. And I’m using this in here. This is my face for this place. This face can’t leave this place.

“Hmph, okay whatever. I'll ask for a different one. Give me a face, unrecognizable from mine, unlike any I had before. All my faces are for following the Rules. An altogether different face is needed for those who violate my peaceful Rule-abiding life.”

That face has to follow all your Rules too.

“Of course, that’s granted. A new face for war.” If SpookyErind was me, or she could read my mind, then she should know what’s the next plan. “Someone's fucking killing me, and it is time I'll retaliate in kind.”

And so, it shall be. You shall wear your spilled blood on your new face, and you will draw blood for the enforcement of our Rules. SpookyErind stretched out her right hand, the one wearing a massive golden clawed gauntlet. She opened her palm, revealing a glowing white gem sitting at the palm of the gauntlet radiating a kaleidoscope of colors. Come, take the new face you'll wear as you cross the forest that is the world of violence, and death, and where Adumbrae lurk.

I swam through space to reach out for her hand. Golden liquid seeped out of the white gem, flowing upwards. As my fingers touched the swirling liquid of gold, it began to turn red. “As wolves lurk in the forest –”

—wearing many faces, of gentleness, of guile, of disguise, of danger, of death…

“— in turn, I wear the face of a girl covered by a cloak drenched by blood…”

— a face of innocence, of beauty, of weakness, the face of prey…

“— waiting for the wolves to bare their fangs at me, to strike, to pounce…”

— their ignorance will be their downfall, for as the wolves attack…

“— they will know…”

— that the true wolf…

“Is me.”

 

---

 

I gulped for air as I came to as if I had stopped breathing for some time—which I probably did. 

How long was I out?

The skewer was still embedded in me and still fucking hurt. But the pain was different...almost tolerable.

It even felt a little satisfying like I had an intense abs workout and savored the burn. I grasped it, about to pull it out, but noticed my hands weren’t my own. I was wearing black gloves that ended in claws. And I was now squatting; I was sure I stood straight up when the skewer pinned me to the locker walls.

There was no space to pull out the skewer as it was lodged into the locker door as well. I had no choice but to break it. Preparing myself, I clenched my jaws and felt a new sensation. Such insane power and exhilaration from flexing the muscles of my jaws.

I twisted the skewer sidewise, breaking it with one hand. Immediately, I pushed open the locker door and extracted myself from the other half of the skewer still stuck to the back wall.

The inside of the locker was splattered red, my blood-soaked shirt lay crumpled on the floor. I examined the part of the skewer I broke off. It had the texture of tree bark but was made of very hard material.

There was a dressing mirror at the back of the room. Upon seeing my reflection, I jerked in surprise and nearly dropped the skewer.

Staring back at me was practically a supermodel. About half a foot taller than my original height, my petite frame inflated into a curvaceous body. I wore a deep red hoodie—with exaggerated animal ears on the sides of the hood—over a bare midriff black crop top with golden patterns and high-waisted mini cargo shorts.

It was like some insane teen fantasy story where the unassuming plain protagonist turns into the hottest girl in school. Unfortunately, I couldn’t see if the fairy godmother made me beautiful too because a mask covered the lower half of my face. It was a snout of some kind of animal with bared fangs, colored red matching my hoodie with black streaks. The mask’s design reminded me of an oni mask in a Japanese play I saw once, or of Indonesian masks my mom bought when we went to Bali for a vacation a couple of years ago.

I asked SpookyErind for a new face, and she did give me one. Well, a whole new body. Or transformed my original body more like; there was still the hole through my abdomen because of that stupid skewer. I touched the rapidly healing wound.

Weird.

I reached to remove the snout to check what was underneath. “Let's see how I look.” Or I would've said that, but the fanged mouth of my mask opened and instead emitted a deep growl.

It wasn’t a mask.

It was my own mouth!

It's an actual face!

I held up the broken skewer, warm and pulsating. It was sort of alive. It grew out from inside my body, maybe from a fragment of the spike that hit me. I wanted to eat it. I placed the skewer between my jaws and bit down with all my might.

My skull shook from the strength of the bite; I crushed the skewer into splinters. It tasted weird, like burnt food left too long in the open air. Bones would surely be an easy task for me to bite through. I wondered what else I could bite. I opened my jaws.

What big teeth I have!

The door of the room blew off its hinges with a crash, reminding me I had an adversary. I was the weak and injured prey. This time, we'll see who’s the prey.

The Adumbrae walked in. There was a jingle, a thwomp, and a screech like the sound of metal rubbed against another. I guessed he checked a couple of locker doors if they were open and just decided to stab each one instead.

The steady cycle of stabbing and pulling came closer and closer to me.

I waited by the locker I hid in earlier. Judging by his footsteps, he was going to appear from the right side of the row I was in. Instead of hiding inside the locker, I left the door open then hid on the other side of the door, waiting for him to come inspect it.

When he reached my row, he rushed to the open locker, grasping the locker door not knowing I was there just on the other side trying not to laugh or growl. He turned his back, scanning the rest of the room, wondering where I could be. I opened my jaws wide and pounced on him from the back, aiming for the side of his neck as I have seen the lions do in nature documentaries.

My teeth pierced his chewy flesh. It was tougher than I expected given my bite force. Perhaps it was because he wasn’t truly human anymore.

Blood spurted out his neck and into my mouth as my teeth found his collar bones. With rage and glee, I bit down even harder and felt his bones crack. I ignored the smell, and worse, the metallic taste of blood. The thought made me want to puke, but I found myself enjoying it. The fun of chomping down my victim made me hold onto my bite.

“Arghh!” a female voice screamed.

Wait? I mistook a girl for a dude again? I had no qualms killing men or women, but the surprise made me loosen my bite slightly.

“Fuck you! Get off me!” she said. Sensing my weakening hold, she released spikes from her back, piercing me in several places.

I kicked her away, extracting myself from the porcupine bitch. I had multiple stab wounds on my chest and stomach. But the pain...

What pain? My wounds barely bled, and I could feel the heat of her blood coursing down my throat, strengthening me.

A single idea came to my mind.

I should eat her.

“Who are you?” she exclaimed. She put pressure on her profusely bleeding neck. With her other hand, she retrieved a syringe from her pocket. I readied myself to evade if she would throw it. She stabbed herself with it. “Are you the ones experimenting with Adumbrae? What did you do to my sister?”

What the shit was she was going on about? Huge applause though for still standing up after that bite; an Adumbrae body was really tough. My head was filled with thoughts of eating her, to make her pay for the pain she caused me. You can stab me all you want, but you won’t stop me from eating you.

A burst of mist came down from the ceiling, accompanied by continuous ringing.

The fire alarms? Hot pain on my legs.

I learned my first lesson of fighting: always concentrate on the enemy. The bitch threw spikes at my knees and legs as water poured on us. I knelt down from the fleeting pain. That was all the opening she needed. Instead of coming to attack me, she wisely ran to the side, fleeing out of the room.

I roared in frustration, plucking the spikes off my legs. I ate them, the hardness was nothing to me, their warm albeit minuscule life force fed the needs of my body. The pain ebbed away.

Where was that bitch? I followed her, but stopped just as I was about to exit, wary of any traps.

People were shouting in the corridor outside.

“Barb! Where are you?” a man called out. “We should get out of here before the police—What the hell? What happened to you?”

“Burn this place,” the woman I attacked earlier screamed. “An Adumbrae! Use your powers!”

Burn me? More enemies then. More food for me.

I jumped out of the room with the anticipation of filling my belly with blood. Searing heat enveloped me, I held out my arms to protect my face and howled in agony. Who dared hurt me? I'm going to eat you too!

"Who is she?" said the man.

“Hold me up,” the woman said. “We got to run. Run, please. She bit me bad.”

The heat became more intense. The entire corridor burst into flames. I couldn’t see what was happening. I couldn't see my prey.

The unbearable blaze burned off my skin, my flesh, and I couldn’t focus. I couldn't continue the hunt. Run out of the fire was the last thing on my mind.

And I did.

My first battle and my first failure felt heavy in my chest.