Remnants of fractured code. (Murder Drones x Re:zero)

Subaru had absolutely no idea how to proceed. Or what the hell kind of situation he'd just stumbled into. But he was damn well trying to figure it out.

So, for now, he stayed completely still, eyes locked on the girl...? robot? Cyborg? Whatever she was, she didn't move.

Seconds dragged on, and eventually, Subaru let out a breath he hadn't realised he was holding.

Okay… still down. Still not moving.

Cautiously, he pushed himself back to his feet, brushing dust off his tracksuit as he kept his eyes on her the entire time. From what he could tell, she'd gone right back into some kind of weird sleep mode.

Like someone flipping a switch.

Or… turning off a computer.

That thought made him pause. His brow furrowed as the memory of the encounter played back in his head. The sudden start, the flickering yellow Xs, the way it morphed into pupils. And right before all that-

"Waaaaaaait."

His eyes widened slightly.

"Hold on…" Subaru muttered. "That… she made a Windows XP startup sound when she woke up… didn't she?"

It wasn't exact, but it was damn close. That electronic chime, like some old, half-dead computer booting back to life. He could never forget that sound, heard it every damn time he wanted to do anything.

Subaru ran a hand down his face, sighing. "Okay… okay, so I wasn't just hearing things. That actually happened."

He glanced down at her again. Still out cold. Or off. Whatever this counted as.

But then… something clicked.

Wait.

From what she said… didn't she ask who she was? Yeah. Right before she collapsed like a ragdoll. That meant…

Amnesia.

His eyes widened. A spark of excitement shot through him.

"Ooooh-!"

His face lit up like a kid on Christmas morning. He could practically see the flags waving in his head, hear the triumphant background music swelling.

Wait wait wait, hold up! I get it now!

She must be like him. A fellow lost soul dragged into this world. But from the far, far future! It made perfect sense! The weird computer noises, holographic eyes, the freaky glitch thing, obviously future tech. And the memory loss? Classic trope setup.

Maybe… maybe they were both protagonists!

Maybe this was a dual-lead story. Him, the dashing, selfless male protagonist, helps a mysterious, amnesiac cyborg girl from a futuristic sci-fi-like world uncover the secrets of this new world of magic.

He practically squealed.

"I knew it! Fate works in mysterious ways, but it's got good taste!" he grinned to himself, pointing dramatically at the unconscious girl. "Don't worry, glitch girl - you've got Natsuki Subaru on your side now!"

He froze.

Then glanced around, realising he was talking to an unconscious, maybe-robot in an alley. Again.

A cough. He cleared his throat, forcing his grin down to something less deranged.

"Right… okay. Time to get you somewhere safe before you start making dial-up noises again."

He crouched, ready to pick her up for real this time.

Subaru crouched down, bracing himself. "Alright, glitch girl, here we go. Easy does it."

He slid his arms under her shoulders, took a deep breath, and lifted.

Nothing happened.

Subaru blinked, confused. He adjusted his grip and tried again, this time putting more strength into it.

Still nothing.

Not even a wobble.

His brow twitched. "Huh…?"

Determined now, he planted his feet, gritted his teeth, and gave it everything he had - face scrunching up, veins bulging in his neck, a strained, ugly noise escaping his throat.

Her body shifted maybe… a millimetre. If that.

Thunk.

It settled right back into place like it weighed a metric ton.

Subaru stumbled back, panting. "Wha…*huff* what the hell?!"

He bent down again, grabbed her by the wrists, and tried to drag her. Not a budge. He pushed at her back. Nothing. Shoved at her shoulder. She might as well have been bolted to the ground.

"What are you made of?!" Subaru wheezed, hands on his knees, utterly baffled. "Is this some kind of futuristic super metal? Space-age neutronium alloy or something?!" 

He squatted down, poking at her arm. It felt soft enough, like normal flesh. But apparently weighed more than his self-esteem after every bad life decision.

"This makes no sense… You look like you weigh, what, fifty kilos tops! How the hell are you so heavy?!"

He groaned, flopping onto his back beside her in defeat.

"Y'know… It's starting to feel personal." (because it is.)

Subaru sat down with a heavy sigh, leaning back against the cold stone wall beside her, his legs stretched out in front of him.

"Okay… okay… new plan," he muttered to himself, wiping sweat from his forehead. "I'll just… wait it out. Yeah. That's the smart move."

He crossed his arms, nodding firmly like he'd just made a tactical decision worthy of a general.

"No point in overexerting myself now, right? Gotta conserve energy. Pick my battles. Waiting for her to wake up on her own is obviously the optimal choice here. Nothing to do with me being unable to lift a tiny girl who apparently weighs as much as a small truck. Nope. Definitely not that."

He chuckled awkwardly, glancing down at her lifeless form.

"Bet it's some kind of futuristic… hyper-dense alloy skeleton or something. Yeah. That makes sense. Would explain the whole Windows XP reboot thing too."

Another nod, this time a little more confident.

"See? I'm not weak. I'm being smart. Strategic."

With that totally-not-delusional logic secured, Subaru let his head tilt back against the wall and sighed.

"This is fine. Everything's fine. I've totally got this under control." 

.

.

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(cuts to him being kicked repeatedly by the 3 musketeers of thievery)

jk jk

A/N very short, but this is all my pain-riddled brain can manage today.

even subconsciously cyn causes trouble. and makes a certain isekai delusional kid sad.

Hope you enjoyed. please comment and good bye.

:3