Re:life with Karmic Gacha (Modern Family)

(dedicated to the one guy in the comment section lol)

[General POV]

While most everyone was distracted by the fireworks and the drone light show, Edward quickly changed his wardrobe on stage. 

He removed his jacket and shirt, slipping into a dazzling golden sequin tuxedo jacket that he left unbuttoned, wearing nothing underneath. 

He donned brown sunglasses with golden rims and topped off his look with a white hat that read "MMX," representing 2010 in Roman numerals, which made his entire image dripping in swagger.

Enid's eyes were glued to the stage the entire time, and she whimpered while fanning her blushing face at the sight of Edward's bare body.

It took several minutes for the crowd to calm down as they celebrated the new year. The fireworks sputtered out, and for a moment, the sky became still, with only wisps of white smoke lingering to remind everyone of the fleeting spectacle as the stage lights dimmed.

As the spotlight shone on Edward once more, the audience took in his new look with curiosity. Four backup singers stepped onto the stage, dressed in matching outfits similar to Edward's, but each added their own personal flair.

Philip Lawrance, one of the original singers for this song. Brody Brown, another original singer. The other two were new talents that Edward found and he signed on to his company, named G-Rate and Larry. 

"Happy New Year, everyone! We're going to kick off this party with my new single, '24 Karat Magic,' which will be released this year," Edward announced through his microphone. The crowd erupted with excitement, cheering wildly.

A vibrant sound resonated throughout the venue as Edward's voice filtered through the talk box, giving it a synthesized quality reminiscent of autotune. He bellowed, "♫♪Tonight~~~~~~~~~~~!!!!♫♪"

"♫♪I just want to take you higher~~~♫♪"

The background singers harmonized with Edward, singing, "♫♪Throw your hands up in the sky♫♪"

"♫♪Let's set this party off right~~~~♫♪"

The strong opening sent the entire crowd into a frenzy, bursting into cheers once again. The lights flickered like a disco, while the drone light show displayed logos of gold bars, '24 Karat Magic', 'Edward Newgate', and even his cat.

A smooth, funky instrumental backdrop filled the venue, blending synth elements, bass, and a classic disco groove. This combination contributed to the upbeat, retro feel of the song, reminiscent of 1980s and 1990s funk and R&B.

"♫♪ Players~~! Put yo' pinky rings up to the moon!! ♫♪" Edward sang, dancing in perfect synchronization with the backup singers. His female fans squealed in excitement, the image forever etched in their minds.

He flashed a charming smile and waved his fingers at the camera, "♫♪ Girls, what y'all trying to do? ♫♪"

With a fluid motion, he threw his hand in the air, moving effortlessly with the melody, "♫♪ Twenty-four karat magic in the air ♫♪"

"♫♪ Head to toe so player. Look out! Uh! ♫♪" Edward grunted mischievously.

"♫♪ Pop pop, it's showtime. (Showtime)" Edward sang, with the background singer echoing his verse energetically, acting as his hype man.

"♫♪ Showtime (showtime), guess who's back again? ♫♪"

Edward acted playfully with the background singers, singing as if he were having a conversation with them, "♫♪ Oh, they don't know? (Go on, tell 'em) Oh, they don't know? (Go on, tell 'em) ♫♪"

"♫♪ I bet they know as soon as we walk in (showin' up) ♫♪" He looked at the crowd, singing confidently.

"♫♪ Wearing Cuban links (ya)! Designer minks (ya)! Inglewood's finest shoes (whoop, whoop) ♫♪"

Flexing his designer clothes as he sang, Edward acted coyly, making the girls fall even harder for him.

Jenna muttered, "Enid! Take more photos! MORE!" Enid was busy snapping pictures with her phone and shouted urgently to her friends, "My storage is full! I need a few new phones! NOW!"

Jacob immediately threw his phone to Enid, fearing her reaction.

"♫♪ Don't look too hard, might hurt ya'self. Known to give the color red the blues ♫♪"

Sage excitedly danced along to the song, while Mrs. Henderson simply sat there, sipping her drink.

As the melody slowed for the transition, Edward swaggered to the front of the stage alone. The cameraman, Abed, followed him from below the stage, projecting his performance on screens for those who couldn't see it.

"♫♪ Oh shit, I'm a dangerous man with some money in my pocket (keep up) ♫♪" Edward confidently spat out facts, making his friends scoff and giggle.

"A dangerous man who loves cats," Max commented sarcastically. "Well, statistically, most evil masterminds have that trait," Hudgens replied as they watched the performance together from the VIP section.

Edward continued, pointing at Penny and her group of friends, "♫♪ So many pretty girls around me, and they waking up the rocket (keep up) ♫♪"

"♫♪ Why you mad, fix ya face, ain't my fault y'all be jocking (keep up) ♫♪" Edward sang coyly, irking several people.

"♫♪ Players only, come on." He gestured to invite the crowd before bellowing, "♫♪ Put your pinky rings up to the moon!!! Girls, what y'all trying to do? ♫♪"

The choreographed dance prepared for his world tour was unleashed that night. "♫♪ Twenty-four karat magic in the air~~~!!! Head to toe so player ♫♪"

"♫♪ Uh, look out! ♫♪"

"♫♪ Second verse for the hustlas (hustlas). Gangstas (gangstas). Bad bitches and ya ugly-ass friends (haha) ♫♪" Edward swaggered to the left side of the stage, facing the VIPs.

He pulled back and rejoined the backup singers' circle again, "♫♪ Can I preach? (Uh oh) Can I preach? (Uh oh) I gotta show 'em how a pimp gets it in ♫♪"

"♫♪ First, take your sip (sip), do your dip (dip). Spend your money like money ain't shit (whoop, whoop) ♫♪"

The backup singers chimed in, "♫♪ We too fresh. Got to blame it on Jesus. Hashtag blessed ♫♪"

Edward continued gruffly, "♫♪ They ain't ready for me ♫♪"

"♫♪ I'm a dangerous man with some money in my pocket (keep up) ♫♪"

Everyone danced together as the New Year's party reached its climax. A few who had come merely as a polite gesture to the rising conglomerate company were genuinely glad they did.

"♫♪ So many pretty girls around me, and they waking up the rocket (keep up). Why you mad, fix ya face, ain't my fault y'all be jocking (keep up) ♫♪"

"Edward! WOOO!" Penny yelled as she took off her brassiere from under her dress and spun it into the sky.

"♫♪ Players only, come on. Put your pinky rings up to the moon!! ♫♪" Sweating slightly, Edward unbuttoned his jacket to cool down, but it only made the girls heat up even more.

"♫♪ Hey girls, what y'all trying to do? (What y'all trying to do?) ♫♪" Edward sang sweetly as he looked in the girls' direction.

"♫♪ Twenty-four karat magic in the air!!! Head to toe so player!! Uh, look out! ♫♪"

Taylor furrowed her eyebrows and muttered venomously, "So is this your New Year's resolution? To become a player?"

"♫♪ Everywhere I go they be like!! (Ooh, so player) Everywhere I go they be like (ooh, so player, ooh) Oh, everywhere I go they be like (ooh, so player, ooh) ♫♪"

Edward excitedly jumped before walking to the center of the stage, "♫♪ Now watch me break it down like (uh) ♫♪"

The 80s synth melody became the backdrop for Edward's dance. His smooth and refined movements showcased his skills fully. He danced alone for a while before several b-boy dancers joined him for a complicated choreography.

Enid's face turned crimson as she giggled and shouted, feeling faint at the sight of the dancing. "Edward~ HAA~" She became weak at the knees and almost fell if it hadn't been for Alex catching her. "Snap out of it, Enid! That's just Edward!" Alex scolded her.

"Absolutely. That's Edward," Enid swooned deliriously.

The crowd erupted in thunderous cheers and shouts of amazement. They chanted Edward's name and expressed their affection loudly.

"This is straight fire, yo," Snoop remarked, feeling the rhythm and dancing slightly.

"♫♪ Twenty-four karat, twenty-four karat magic. What's that sound? (Twenty-four karat, twenty-four karat magic) ♫♪"

Edward and the background singers moved to the crowd to sing the final verse together.

"♫♪ Come on now. Twenty-four karat, twenty-four karat magic ♫♪" Edward moved his microphone away and complimented Penny, who was dancing intoxicatedly, "That's pretty great."

"♫♪ Don't fight the feeling, invite the feeling! Just put your pinky rings up to the moon!! ♫♪"

"♫♪ HEY girls, what y'all trying to do? ♫♪" Edward harmonized while the background dancers sang, "♫♪ Tell me what y'all trying to do ♫♪"

"♫♪ Twenty-four karat magic in the air! Head to toe so player (hands up!) ♫♪"

A blonde girl approached the security detail guarding the crowd, "Can I go up to the stage and give him a New Year's kiss?" She wanted to kiss Edward, as she knew he hadn't kissed anyone yet.

"No," the security detail replied curtly.

Edward swayed and danced, immersing himself in the rhythm. "♫♪ Put your pinky rings up to the moon! Girls, what y'all trying to do? (Do) ♫♪"

Then, he popped his shoulder and pulled his blazer swaggeringly as he concluded the performance with a strong finish. "♫♪ Twenty-four karat magic in the air! Head to toe so player (twenty-four karat), uh, look out! ♫♪"

The crowd erupted in applause as Edward finished his performance. Panting slightly, he asked everyone, "What do you guys think about that performance?!"

The cheers grew even louder. Edward smiled in satisfaction and addressed the audience, "Don't leave yet; there are still a few more performances prepared for tonight. Now, if you'll excuse me, everyone, I have a New Year's kiss to make up for."

The crowd jeered teasingly and laughed at Edward's joke. The girls shouted incessantly, "I volunteer! I volunteer!" and they almost stormed the stage, which really troubled the security there. 

Maggie jumped onto the stage, regaining control of the crowd before announcing the next act in the lineup for the evening.

As Edward and his crew made their way backstage, they celebrated their success with fist bumps.

"That's tight, man. One more week, bigger venue, bigger stage," Philip said excitedly. The other singers shared in the enthusiasm, except for Larry. "Well, I don't really like Japan. Can't we go to, like, Tokyo or something?"

Edward looked at him in disbelief, pausing halfway as he changed into a shirt, while G-Rate, whose real name was Clarence, smacked the back of Larry's head and said, "That IS in Japan, you idiot."

"Hey, Top G, who's the Jesus and the nerd?" Brody asked, eyeing the newcomers who had walked onto the stage. One of them was a bearded white dude with long hair and another one looked quite kind.

 "You're calling a bunch of nobodies here today?" Larry added with an ironic expression.

Edward smirked and teased, "Well, they have more experience than you, Larry, so I guess you're the only 'nobody' here."

Maggie announced, "Introducing Tinie Tempah and Eric Turner with the song, 'Written in the Stars!'"

The crowd was skeptical at first, but Eric's sudden start to the song immediately captured their attention. Still buzzing from Edward's earlier performance, the duo was welcomed warmly as they launched into their song.

Snoop focused intently on Tinie and said, "I think Ed mentioned that dude used to be a school teacher. Now he's a rapper. Ed picked him up from the street."

Eminem's eyes lit up as he asked, "Oh, street battle style?"

"I don't know his style yet. But since Newgate called him to the stage, maybe there's something there," Snoop smirked. "Maybe I can bring him to open for me someday."

Katie stood dizzily, continuously topping up the alcoholic drink in her hand. "When did you guys suddenly have twins?" she slurred, her vision blurring as she saw two Snoops and two Eminems. Then, she fell flat on her chair, fully blacked out.

Agent Sarah Walker grimaced slightly upon seeing Katie. "Britney didn't pass out because I gave her a shot of this pure stuff, right?" she muttered to herself, hiding the bottle of Euphoria in her hand, which only had a little bit of the solution left inside.

"Anyway, mission accomplished," she murmured, observing that many of the VIPs had already passed out and were being escorted inside the mansion. 

Most of them headed straight home, but those who had driven themselves needed to sleep it off at the venue. Fortunately, there were plenty of bedrooms in the 30,000-square-foot mansion.

…

[Edward POV]

I waited for the next performance to start before heading back to the VIP section. It felt polite to linger backstage for a while; I didn't want to disrupt the crowd or interfere with the duo's introduction.

Suddenly, I noticed Abed climbing the light pole, trying to capture footage of the concert from the crowd's perspective.

Mickey was the only one guarding me as I walked back. There weren't many security risks aside from the party girls, and none of my employees would approach me in a mob.

"Can you call Abed for a moment?" I asked Mickey for a favor. He sighed, knowing he had to weave through the huge crowd, but he went anyway. "Go—just head straight to your table. Don't stop. I can't protect you if you stop." He advised.

I waved my hand dismissively and replied, "It's fine. Don't worry about me making pit stops. Oh, and ask Abed to bring Annie and Britta with him. I haven't seen them at the party yet, and I want to see Britta in that shirt."

Already walking toward Abed, Mickey stopped abruptly and turned to me. "Why? Is it a sexy shirt?"

"Absolutely sexy. The sexiest shirt at the entire party. Your jaw will definitely drop," I replied, my eyes sparkling with excitement. Mickey's grin widened at my enthusiasm.

My head of security had developed a crush on Britta after meeting her a few times at Dr. Fowler's lab. Jeff, Pierce, and Troy had returned to Colorado for Christmas, but Annie and Britta had stayed behind. 

Annie took a part-time job at my company to justify her decision, which also included looking after Britta. After nearly being cast in a soft-core nude film, Annie swore she would never let Britta go anywhere alone.

Abed worked unofficially with the production crew but still got paid for his efforts. He was reluctant to return to Colorado to finish his community college, wanting instead to move here permanently, which made me troubled. 

I walked straight to where my friends were and smiled as I saw them. Gloria excitedly rushed towards me and gave me a tight hug, "Edward! I loveeee that dance!" She separated and danced a bit– albeit awkwardly.

"Relax your shoulders a bit, Gloria." I taught her the dance for a moment, which made her burst into laughter.

"Edward, that was a really great performance. Happy New Year, Eddy! I hope your year is filled with happiness," Claire said as she hugged me.

Phil added with a laugh, "Oh, ho! I finally got what that hat means. MMX stands for, um…" He hesitated for a moment. I finished his sentence, and he acted as if he had known all along.

"2010 in Roman Numerals / 2010 in Romania Euro–Numeral."

Alex looked at her dad with disdain and said, "What's Romania Euro-Numeral?"

"Alex, your dad clearly said Roman Numeral. Did the loud sounds from the party hurt your ears?" I replied with a concerned expression, leaving Alex flabbergasted.

Mitchell whispered to Cam, "He's trying to get his future girlfriend's dad to like him."

Cam whispered back, "Phil already loves him. He should've aimed for the mother."

"We all heard that," Claire squinted angrily as she turned to glare at the two.

"Now that the pleasantries are out of the way, you should go to Haley. I know you're only talking to us because you don't see her," Jay suddenly interjected, his face flushed from drink.

"Where did she go?" I smiled awkwardly, realizing I had basically announced to the entire party that I was going to kiss a girl, yet I didn't even know where she was.

Claire grinned mischievously and said, "Oh, she's sitting right there," pointing to a table. I followed her finger and gasped in disbelief as I saw Haley sitting awkwardly between Sage and Mrs. Henderson.

[Claire's commentary]

"Try to do something in front of your teachers," she challenged. "Only the boldest, most courageous, or the stupidest person in the world would actually try." 

After calming herself from laughing, she whispered looking down, "Phil was not on board with the plan."

[Commentary ends]

"Oh, finally." I started to walk toward Haley, but Claire grabbed my arm urgently. "Edward, the party is great, but I think it's time for us to go home."

I was taken aback. "Wait. Really?"

"Yeah. Alex looks quite tired." Claire said sympathetically. Alex, flabbergasted again, exclaimed, "No, I'm not! I took a four-hour nap this afternoon!"

"Sorry. I meant Luke. Luke is definitely tired. Where is he, anyway?" Claire looked around, suddenly uneasy as she glanced at my friends.

"Wait, where are Manny and Luke?" Cam asked, sharing Claire's concern. "Weren't they with you guys?" Gloria was alarmed and panicked.

"Huh? They're with you. They weren't hanging out with us," Alex replied.

Phil immediately shouted, "LUKEEEEE!" in an effort to locate his missing son.

Jacob spoke up shyly, "There's a huge arcade room in the basement. I'm pretty sure I saw them there when I checked it out."

"Let's go!" Gloria grabbed Jay's hand and pulled him along as she stomped toward the mansion. Phil and Claire followed suit. Mitchell offered his help and tagged along, "We'll check the other floors."

"And maybe hit the bathroom first because I've been drinking ten of these strawberry daiquiris," Cam commented, hurrying after Mitchell with his knees bent closely together.

I was confused, "We don't have strawberry daiquiris. What the hell has he been drinking?

Seeing her parents leaving, Haley excused herself from the table and quickly returned to us, eager to see what was happening and to get out of there.

[Haley's commentary]

"I sat there for 2 minutes. It was the greatest suffering of my life. I can use that moment if I ever need to write a college essay about the greatest suffering I went through."

"It was New Year's Eve. I had to sit in between the school teacher awkwardly for 2 minutes…" She trailed off and finished unconfidently, "Well, I'm not going to write the essay now. I will put in a lot more words when I need to do it. Or ask Alex to write it for me."

[Commentary ends]

As Haley approached me, I smiled and gently took her hand. "Happy New Year." She leaned in closer and gave me a soft peck on the lips right in front of my friends.

Enid groaned in disgust, her face contorting with distaste. "That's a child's kiss," Jacob commented. "Kiss for real!" Billie scolded.

"OHH, TOP G IS FINALLY GETTING SOME!" Clarence and Larry walked by, teasing me loudly. Haley looked confused by their comments.

"Top G?" she asked. "Why are they calling you Top G?"

"Is it Top Gun?" Jacob guessed.

"Nope. It's actually Top Gate," I explained with a smirk.

Haley let out an understanding sigh. "Aahh, because you can beat Bill Gates in a bare-knuckle fight?"

"Obviously," I replied matter-of-factly. "It's scary how you managed to guess that instantly." I chuckled a bit as I looked at her.

"Wait. That's really it?" Alex asked, looking incredulous.

I nodded and explained, "Yeah. It started with New G, then N Gate, then Kid-Money, and finally NBG—New Bill Gates. I protested against that, so it became Top G."

"N Gate is kind of an awesome nickname, I'm not going to lie," Finneas said.

"Thanks, F-Word," I nodded at him, which made him flustered, and everyone laughed. Jenna chimed in, "Yeah, F-Word!"

"Ha-ha! You're the F-Word," Billie teased her brother.

"Okay, I think it's an appropriate time to share my New Year's resolution. I'm not going to be the butt of the joke anymore," Finneas declared with determination.

"Whatever, F-Word," Elsa dismissed him with a smirk.

"Well, Enid fainted when she saw Edward's abs on stage." Finneas tried to move the heat to someone else.

"Really?" My eyes lit up as I looked at her. Haley furrowed her eyebrows and asked with a laugh, "Why are you so happy about that?"

Enid giggled and said, "My knees got weak a little bit."

"Oh. There is the validation I wanted for a long long time." I finally breathed in relief and hugged Enid slightly. "My hard work in sculpting my body was finally justified."

Everyone laughed again as I said that. "Let's go, I want to meet everyone else." I told Jacob and Finneas while holding Haley's hand.

My football team had come with their dates, and I was eager to meet them. However, Jacob sadly informed me, "They left immediately after your performance in their rented limo."

"Wait, they already left?" I felt a pang of disappointment. This party would be my last chance to have a conversation with them before I left for the world tour. Haley caught my change in expression. 

"I wonder why they are in such a hurry." Haley muttered, trying to comfort me by patting my arm. 

"I don't know. Tyler only sent me some emojis when I asked." Jacob replied casually.

"What emoji?" Elsa scrunched her face and asked.

Jacob read the text again, out loud this time, "Tounge Out Emoji. Peach Peach Eggplant Eggplant, Drizzle Drizzle, And. It's just random." 

Everyone stared at Jacob for a while. "What?" Jacob was confused by the reaction.