Re:Grimoire

Subaru grinned down at me, his excitement barely contained now that the contract was sealed. But then, as reality crept back in, his face faltered, brows knitting together.

"Wait… uh, Grim-sensei, what now? Am I gonna learn magic or something right away? Because as much as I want to… time is… You know, kinda tight."

I could feel the urgency spike again, his pulse quickening through the bond. Admirable, really. Even with the thrill of fantasy at his fingertips, he hadn't lost sight of his goal. Good. That would make this far less tedious.

Before I spoke, a shimmer of golden light flickered behind him. Two luminous clock hands formed on the floor, ticking into place with a gentle, audible click.

And in that moment, I appeared behind him.

I brushed a hand through long, ink-black strands of hair, the void-dark locks spilling past my chest. A sharp-featured girl, appearing no older than fourteen, violet eyes faintly aglow in the dim alley light. My frame stood at a modest 4'6, clad in a dark upper coat trimmed with fine silvery embroidery that caught the faintest gleam. Beneath it, a crisp, white-collared shirt layered under a dark brown robe that fell nearly to my ankles. Dark boots completed the appearance.

A creation of my own design. A projected form, visible to him and him alone. Unaffected by the world around us. a much-needed trick to communicate with my students, and also, smack them on the head if needed.

I could feel his eyes widen as he turned.

His voice cracked with disbelief.

"Wh-Wha…?! Who-"

I lightly stepped forward, a small smile on my face, "Hello, dear student. a pleasure to meet you face to face."

"Grim? That's you?!"

"Yes. This is my manifested form," I explained calmly. "A benefit of our contract. I exist in this state for you alone. The outside world cannot see, hear, nor touch me. So please, refrain from speaking to me in public. You'll be mistaken for mentally unstable, and I assure you, it's an unpleasant experience." I allowed a soft, amused chuckle to slip out, recalling a particularly stubborn student centuries ago who paid no heed and earned himself the charming title of 'that lunatic girl who argued with walls'... it was amusing to watch every single one of her friends awkwardly distance themselves whenever we communed. 

Subaru stared, his mouth half-open, as awe and confusion battled on his face. Then it twisted into a wide, eager grin. "Awesome! That makes things a lot easier," he beamed, glancing briefly at my book form in his hands, then back up at me.

"It does." I floated up a little, reclining slightly in midair with my arms crossed, the hem of my coat fluttering

Now, regarding your earlier question. At this moment, it's unrealistic to expect you to learn practical magic within half a day. The average in this world would require time to manifest their first usable spell, and longer still to command it properly in a positive manner. However, I can teach you what you need to know of the basics, enough to function without embarrassing yourself. Perhaps if you, yourself, are gifted, a practical use among one of my more mundane spells. But first, a far more pressing matter."

I let my gaze settle on him, serious.

"You've returned back in time, correct? A time loop, you said?"

Subaru's face tensed. His smile faded into something uneasy, but he nodded slowly. "Y-yeah… I died... then suddenly I was in the past."

I slightly raised an eyebrow. He has no control over it? At least it automatically loops upon his end. I thought internally, before moving on. "Good", I floated closer, my expression turning into a glare, to make sure my point gets across.

"Then listen carefully. I need you to recount every detail of your last loop. From the moment you arrived… to the moment it ended. Who you spoke to, where you went, what you saw, what you felt. Nothing is irrelevant. Do not leave things out. Do not guess. Do not alter what happened, no matter how small it may seem. Because how I perceive a person or situation will be built off your report, and if it's flawed, my strategy will be flawed. And you, Natsuki Subaru, do not have leeway for mistakes in this situation. Understood?"

Subaru stiffened under my gaze, the childish excitement drained clean from his face. His grip around my book form tightened, knuckles paling, and after a long, tense pause, he gave a sharp, almost instinctive nod.

"Y-yeah… understood, Grim-sensei. I'll tell you everything. No skipping. Got it."

I gave a small, satisfied nod and gestured with a lazy hand. "Then start. From the start of your troubles, till right now this instant."

He took a deep breath to steady himself, eyes briefly shutting before he began.

"So... when I first arrived and opened my eyes, I was in an open market and..."

And so, he began.

He spoke quickly at first, recounting the confusion, the strange sensation of being somewhere completely unfamiliar. The excitement of being in a fantasy, how he wandered aimlessly at first, admitting his embarrassing blunders at the idea of using magic. 

As he continued, I was slightly impressed at his detailed retelling; his memory was extremely high considering Earth's standards. He told me about the appa merchant, and specifically how, from what he described, his save point, as every death he went through, he came back to that specific point. Perhaps his authority periodically creates anchors so that when encountering a problem, he can go back? 

Next, he retold about how he couldn't read, got chewed at for having no money, being thrown into a river, - yikes - and being mugged by 3 bandits. "I got my ass kicked, obviously," he admitted with a sheepish grin. "But then this beautiful girl with silver hair, purple eyes and a white outfit showed up and saved me."

white outfit. purple eyes, silver hair, so I wasn't wrong in my assumption. i thought to myself idly.

"She said her name was Satella, I know now... that was a fake name," he went on, a bit disheartened but not that bothered.

I let out a small snort, unheard by Subaru as he went on, gushing about the girl. hah... Satella would never wear white. I chuckled at the thought.

"She was looking for something. A stolen insignia. I offered to help… and we spent the day searching for it."

He recounted their meetings — their awkward conversations, wandering through the city, helping the lost little girl, Plum, getting information in return, and the spirit, Puck.

i wonder if... nah... the brat wouldn't.

"And then… I followed her to this shack," Subaru murmured, voice tightening. "And… and…"

His words caught in his throat, shoulders were trembling. I moved without thinking, floating closer, placing a hand against his back.

"You died, didn't you?"

He gave a small, broken nod, his whole frame shaking under the weight of memory.

"Alright." I kept my voice steady, firm. "What happened next? In the following loops?"

He inhaled sharply, his breathing uneven, but after a moment, he forced the air out and continued. "I… I woke up again, in front of the Appa stall… did it all over… tried different things… still failed."

And so it went. He spoke of each run, the faces he met, the growing fear, the rising desperation. How each attempt ended in blood, shadows, and silence. Until finally, he reached the last one - the one where he'd stumbled across me.

"Then you know the rest…" Subaru gave a weak, brittle smile, his voice a rasp rather than words. "Since you were… You know."

"Yes, yes." I waved it off. "Enough. Five minutes. Breathe. We've roughly three, maybe four hours until Elsa arrives to collect. I'll work out a plan. You-"

I grabbed his arm and pulled him toward a crate nearby, setting him down like dead weight.

Without waiting for protest, I took hold of his arm and guided him toward a nearby crate, setting him down like an unravelled doll.

"Sit. Calm yourself. Reliving these things isn't harmless, not for the mind, and not for the Od. Push through it without pause and you'll crumble."

"I… I'm fine," Subaru muttered, forcing a crooked, almost comical grin as if that would stitch the cracks in his voice.

"It would be wiser to steady yourself," I suggested, my tone gentler.

"I'm really fine," he insisted again, waving a hand in that clumsy, dismissive way. But his fingers shook, betraying his words, though minor, was enough of a sign.

I narrowed my eyes, my voice dropping into something low and edged. "Stop it. Don't even attempt that act with me." My grip tightened on his shoulder, my stare pinning him in place. "You are shaken, Subaru. Whether you'll admit it aloud or not. Death's effect on others is permanent, and not just on the flesh, but in places you can't see. You need this. This is not an option."

His mouth opened, stubbornness rising like a shield, but whatever words he was searching for withered under my gaze. He looked down, teeth clenching. "…Okay," he muttered at last, barely more than a breath.

"It's not weakness to pause," I said, voice quieter now, "It's a way to reflect and heal. Keeping yourself from breaking. I know that look. But for now, take a rest."

"Good," I eased my grip. "It's not weakness to pause. It's survival. You won't last long in this world by pretending you're made of stone. Rest. Even if it's only five minutes. I understand that, look, I won't comment on it now, but it's not healthy. Now, have a good think."

I floated back a pace, arms crossing as I let him quietly gather what little of himself he could, while I, put together the pieces of the puzzle that was this predicament.

What an annoying, yet amusing first day. I've got quite the student this time round, and perhaps, he might just be much more important than the world thinks.

A/N