Regarding Those Matters of Me and My Little Sister

That night, it seemed the world had abandoned her, and all I could hear was her crying, her cries of agony and betrayal, as our dad took a coat hanger, and beat her mercilessly. (TN: Jesus...)

I didn't have the courage to glance at her, I sat myself on the bed and pretended not to care and read a comic book, however, I couldn't read it, because her cries of pain.

When my parents finally let her go late into the night, I idly read my comic book while gazing towards the door of my room.

She would surely try to come in to sleep together, and as expected, the door opened, and I could see her frail body come through the door. I could see easily that she came in practically limping, her clothes were in an even worse state than before, they were ruined by something or someone brutal and cruel, and underneath the clothes were bloody bruises from the coat hangers.

I was scared. At twelve years old, I didn’t understand a lot of things, but I knew that she was suffering and in pain.

I just lowered my head and continued ‘reading’ my comic, and I didn’t say anything. Usually, I would just laugh at her when she was beaten, but this time I didn’t have the heart to do anything.

She limped in, glanced at me then moved over to the cabinet. I peeked at her and saw that she had one hand covering the corner of her mouth and one hand was trying to drag something out of the cabinet while fumbling for the band-aid she had hidden for herself.

She had secretly bought those band-aids on New Year's Eve, and she was afraid of being discovered by our parents, so they were hidden, and sometimes I would deliberately steal them and throw them away to tease her, but thankfully I didn't steal the band-aids and lose them.

She then ripped open a band-aid and put it on her bleeding wound, the house was silent. Then it seemed she couldn't take the pain anymore and sat down on the floor, her whole body shrank and she was shaking, she must have started crying again, but was afraid her parents would hear her, therefore no sound came out.

I don't know what my mind was doing at the time, maybe it was out of guilt. I got out of bed and closed the door behind me, I was afraid our parents would see her crying again.

After closing the door I carefully walked over to her, she was still small and shaking, and I felt the pain myself as I looked at her bruises all over her body.

I asked her in a whisper if she was okay, and she ignored me. I stood for a while at a loss for words. The truth is that while I caused all of this, I didn’t feel a large amount of guilt, we humans are terrible beings, children don’t understand others’ feelings. I am a horrible person. (TN: This gave me trouble, please tell me if it’s wrong 事实上我虽然愧疚，但并没有到达某种厉害的程度，人性本恶，小孩子懂什么呢?)

I said if you're in pain, go to bed and sleep, once you wake up, it won’t hurt anymore.

My sister stuck out her hand suddenly as if wanting to grab me. I slowly stuck my hand over, and her cold little hand immediately squeezed my palm and tried to pull me toward her body.

I crouched down, not knowing what she wanted, and she suddenly turned her head to look at me.

I have never before in my life seen such a complicated look, her eyes no longer had childish-shine to it, but was now a matured gaze that didn’t match her age, that was filled with hatred, betrayed.

Twelve-year-old me was alarmed, as if I had seen a ghost. Immediately after that, there was a sharp pain in my arm, and she leaned down and bit me fiercely, but immediately let go again, and two teeth fell out when she opened her mouth.

I was terrified, and my sister shed tears of pain.

I couldn't understand her behavior, was she taking revenge? The corners of her mouth were red and swollen, her teeth fell out, and she must have been injured by the hanger, but despite this she still bit through my arm, I was wearing short sleeves, my arm was bloodied by the bite, imprinted with two deep teeth marks.

I was so scared that I crawled backwards, but strangely did not scream out, and was aware that if I screamed I was afraid my parents would come in to see what was happening, so I did not scream.

She had actually taken revenge. Those two teeth marks, which accompanied me for countless years afterwards, were like a curse, weighing me down and filling me with fear and anxiety.

First year, second year, third year, senior year, after all that time passed, the teeth marks became more and more shallow, but it never dissipated.

Two years after that event my sister got into a major junior high school, like a spontaneous bomb, and she caused a stir in the neighborhood. I was still in my junior year at the crappy school in town, and although I worked like crazy in my junior year, with thoughts beyond my comprehension to get into her high-school, things didn't go as planned, and I ended up getting into another crappy high school. (TN: I don’t know if it’s just me, but the school years for the sister and brother are a little confusing… sorry I might’ve made a mistake that I can’t find while translating)

It seems we never saw each other again, she rarely came home, and now that I'm boarding again, I probably don't see her more than a few times a year.

At least that's what I thought at first, but then I heard the news from her at school, very bad news.

On the day of the school year, many of my roommates were chatting in the dormitory, getting familiar with each other, and the first thing they did was to ask each other which junior high school they came from, and I was absent-mindedly talking with them, when a student from the city said he came from the junior high school in Takasu.

I was stunned, because that was my sister's school. The city student had a little sense of superiority and told us a lot of things about Takasu Middle School, saying that the most important thing was the girls.

I didn't care at first, but then he changed the subject and his tone changed: "Just now I said there are a lot of city girls in High Island High School, right? They are quite beautiful, but there is a bitch I have to mention, she is so bitchy that I can't stand her, if she was layed in front of me I would have fucked her with one hand to death!" (TN: By “fucked her with one hand” it’s probably more like beaten/killed rather than anything sexual related)

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He bragged, but the ‘bitch girl’ had made everyone quite interested, the ‘superior’ student told us about what happened: “Last year there was a Freshman who was caught everyones’ attention that was from the countryside, and she was asked by the principal to give a speech in front of the school, she was so nervous that she fainted, and because her clothes were old and worn, a lot of people looked down on her, and that bitch was one of them, I heard that after bullying the freshman, the bitch was basically addicted to it, she bullied the freshman many times making her cry, really sad ah, they say that country girls born beautiful, unlike city girls, cannot dress…” (TN: This was a hard one to translate, sorry again if it’s hard to read)

I was listening to the story, but for some reason I suddenly thought of Li Xin, and the more I thought about it, the more my heart sank, so I couldn't help but ask: "What's the name of that country girl?"

The ‘superior’ student looked at me suspiciously and said casually, "Li Xin, I don't know."

Li Xin?

My heart skipped a beat, and I just couldn’t help but clench my fists, and the ‘superior’ student asked me, "You know her?"

I was too occupied in my thoughts as I shook my head and didn't say a word, he ignored me and started talking to his roommate about other girls again.

I was distracted, Li Xin, the common name, is exactly my sister's.

Sure enough, she grew up being bullied, went to the city school and was still being bullied, that scruffy little beggar, timid and fearful and without friends, it's strange not to be bullied.

I thought, my head hanging low, years ago, about that little girl.

The tooth marks on the arm are still there, I gave a quick look, and my heart ached as if pierced by pins and needles. All these years we did not say a word, sometimes I would hear her secretly crying, crying in the dead of night, but I just listened.

Now she is still being bullied in junior high school, she’s being forced to tears......

Then I walked out the door and the ‘superior’ student glanced at me. I forced a smile and said I was going out for a walk.

The ‘superior’ student took his cell phone and looked at it: "It’s almost six o'clock, until the class meeting, and we have to go to the classroom together."

I froze, and all the emotions in my heart felt like they were stuck.

Yes, I wanted to go to Li Xin, to see her. But it was getting dark, and I wasn't familiar with the city, and her school should be far away, so how was I supposed to find her if I went?

Sometimes what I think and what I do are very different, because I say I want to, but I don’t have the courage to go out and help her.

The top student had become the main focus, and everyone followed him. I silently stayed with them, listening to them talking and laughing, and I was like a lonely wolf, or maybe a lonely dog.

The class meeting is still very lively until nine o'clock, a group of more than 50 people, mostly poor students, we all sit in a pile of uneven seats.

The ‘superior’ student kept glancing at the girls, and although he was extremely disappointed, he still found the pretty ones. He then secretly laughed with us waves: "There is a tiny girl in the first row, definitely the class flower, look at how white her neck is."

They boys all looked over, I also took a look, indeed a very white very petite girl, quietly reading a book.

A roommate said she was too short, and the ‘superior’ student salivating: "This is loli ah, loli understand?"

The majority of us are from the countryside, and do not know what makes people so attracted to little girls, after all we didn’t even have access to computers, at most we have been to the dark Internet cafe. (TN: Basically a dark Internet cafe in China is a cafe where you’d pay money to play with girls, primarily younger girls. Also it’s very illegal to do that lol.)

The ‘superior’ students sighed repeatedly and said there was really a generation gap. I don't care about the generation gap, I'm still thinking about Li Xin, I'm thinking about how to find Li Xin. She is in the junior high school of Takasu Middle School, what kind of place is that? (TN: Not sure how consistent the book, or I am with the name of the Middle School/High Schools… sorry, I believe it’s Takasu Middle/High School)

Finally I gave the ‘superior’ student a coquettish smile and asked him where the junior high school was.

He was surprised: "You want to go? It's far away, it takes more than half an hour by bus, and the school rules are very strict, you can't get in without a school card, so it's useless for you to go."

My heart was splashed with a bucket of cold water, the ‘superior’ student all of a sudden said with a mischievous smile: "But the weekend that the ladies come out, I will take you to peek, and the streets are full of beautiful women."

The ‘superior’ student has quite a leadership style, and everyone said they wanted to go see, and he did not refuse them, this guy is going to be our captain in the future.

I naturally also wanted to go, I can't wait for the weekend to come, but unfortunately there are still a few days.

I wanted to know more, so I subtly asked about Lin Xin, but unfortunately the ‘superior’ student, and the rest of my roommates weren’t too interested in her and didn’t know much.

I just kept on suffering, during which classes officially started and the seats were changed. I was surprised to be at the same table with this ‘superior’ student, so it seems that I have to listen to his bragging every day.

The other thing that surprised me was that I was called by the teacher and asked if I wanted to be class president.

I was shocked to find out that I had the second highest entrance score, and I felt kind of weird for a bit.

I was able to be class president, I had been one before, so I agreed, and as soon as I did, the teacher called another female student over, the very same so-called loli that we had spied on earlier.

I was not much exposed to the online world in the countryside, and my thoughts were biased towards wild children, so loli did not appeal to me, and I also thought she was so short and small, stunted, I guess.

However, the teacher valued her and said she was also the class president, and implied that I was only the vice president.

That loli when she wants to, has a sophistication that does not match her appearance, and I get convinced that she is a school teacher sometimes.

Then we were busy for a few days, but did not have much to say to each other, she did not like to talk to me, and I did not pay attention to her.

It was hard to wait until the weekend, as soon as it was the weekend the ‘superior’ student called us all, I rushed to follow him, with three other people, all who did not like to study, anxious to see the ladies.

The ‘superior’ student instructed us to bring enough money for ourselves, I gritted my teeth and brought a month's living expenses, although I was not sure if it would be used.

We all walked outside together, we were all excited, I was a little nervous, thinking about what to do when I saw Li Xin.

However, the lolli came after me and frowned, saying that she wants to make the blackboard again.

I froze and asked what the point of making a blackboard? She said that the original one was no longer in shape and looked ugly.

I was quite reluctant, it is not the president's job to look at it, so why do you have to make a new one?

The roommates all cheerfully gloated, and the ‘superior’ student even said they would leave if I didn't go.

Naturally, I had to go, so I said I'd just ask another class monitor for help, and I had something to do. She asked about what was going on, and before I could answer, the ‘superior’ student forced himself to brush up on his presence: "Ahem, class president, we are going to admire art."

They all laughed strangely, and I was a little embarrassed. The loli got upset, she knew we were flirting with her.

She told me to just go back to class and not leave until I was done.

The ‘superior’ student said goodbye to me, smiling and sparkling. I rushed to follow in a hurry. The loli class president was so angry that she spun around and ran in the opposite direction.

My heart was upset, I wonder if she will report to the class teacher. However, I couldn't care less, because I decided to go to Li Xin.

The housemates then tsked and said they could not imagine that I was so ballsy, and the ‘superior’ student stroked his chin for a while and did not say anything.

We then went to the junior high school district of Takasu High School, which was indeed quite far, first going towards the heart of the city, and then we went through the underpass which was going through a pitch black tunnel, and when we finally reached the other side, it went through a busy neighborhood.

We got off here and it was already a bit gray. The ‘superior’ student led us towards the school, "Hurry up, it's not going to be pretty when it gets dark."

By now we had started to see a few students, all wearing the uniforms of Takasu High School.

We also wore our school uniforms and came here feeling a little out of place, each trying to cover up the school logo.

I should be the most out of place, because I came to see my sister, I was afraid she would see my school uniform.

It didn't take long for us to get to the outside of the school. It’s appearance is so beautiful it can't help but be praised, this school is really beautiful, it is obviously a junior high school but bigger than our high school, the students coming in and out feel very noble, there are many vehicles to transport, I can't even recognize the license plate. (TN: License plates have characters based on the province they’re from, he’s probably made a joke that he can’t read it because he grew up in the countryside so he isn’t familiar with the character, but it’s more like he actually can’t read it.)

The ‘superior’ student have long been familiar with this place, leaning against the railing on the bank of that river outside the school and pretending to be serious: "Do not glance, women do not like you like this, look at them frankly and straightforwardly."

They really look openly, I dare not, afraid of my sister will suddenly appear, right now I would just like to be gone, and I secretly think what have I come here for?

I turned to look at the river, dirty and stinky, and not pretty. I was thinking idly, the superior student coughed: "Attention all units, came out a missy."

A few people all looked over, I also turned around to see a student wearing ultra-short pants came out, she must be in the dormitory to change the school uniform, dressed in a youthful and beautiful, showing her two thick white legs, really with a white-colored like a swan. (TN: If you’re wondering why it talks so much about the whiteness, Asians typically love white and pure skin)

I've never seen such a good-looking girl, so I couldn't help but stare at it more closely. Immediately after she got in the car and left, the group sighed, I also sighed with the majority of the crowd: " Really is a missy ......"

But the words came to an abrupt end as I saw my sister come out. (TN: She’s here!!!)

I could see that she was dressed in her school uniform, the same as the majority of students. Her hair was tied in a single ponytail, with some bangs on her forehead, her shoes were old and clean, and she was also clean, many of the girls passing by were sweating, but she was clean.

The day I saw her at school, I thought to myself, she's so pretty, like a white cloud.

The ‘superior’ student coughed again: "That's the one, the one being bullied."

My roommates had been eyeing her for a long time and were now wondering, "What makes her look like a country girl?"

The ‘superior’ student grimaced: "Of course you can't tell when you're wearing the school uniform, don't just look at her like this, she's actually very poor and rustic, even on her monthly vacation she wears the school uniform because she doesn't have nice clothes."

A roommate snickered: "I like her, so innocent, I have never seen someone wearing a school uniform and that can be so good-looking."

The ‘superior’ interrupted: "You can go after her easily, because she is so poor, surely it is easy to chase, but I don't like her, she doesn’t have any attraction for me"

He said that to the roommate was stupid, my fingers pinched the railing, a several filaments of rust fell into the river.

I quickly told them don't chase her, there's nothing to chase. They look at me strangely, I will not say anything more, then a roommate said quietly: "Holy shit, she seems to have found us."

I was shocked, and hurriedly turned around to lay on the railing, several roommates turned around. The superior student ignored him, he was still scowling: “Dumbass, she was only looking for someone, look she’s looking around over there"

I peeked over and Li Xin was standing over there looking around, indeed looking for someone.

Soon, a motorcycle came by from a distance, and a man with dyed yellow hair on it greeted her affectionately.

Li Xin then got on his motorcycle and left.

The roommates were amazed, and the ‘superior’ student shook his head: " Look at the younger members of society, damn, must have been soaked, sure enough she is still short of money, I heard that there are people who are chickens in junior high school, she must be too." (TN: Not too sure, but ‘soaked’ probably means rich, and I know chicken is Chinese slang for prostitute)

I stared at the motorcycle, the dust on the road was still in the air, and the superior student was still talking about being a chicken.

I suddenly got a little angry and said can you stop talking nonsense? The ‘superior’ student was taken aback, he obviously did not expect me to get angry.

He was so proud of himself that he scolded me without asking the reason: "I brought you to see a beautiful woman, what are you mad about?"

All of my roommates asked me what I was doing. I clenched my fist and didn't say anything again.

The ‘superior’ student cursed their bad luck, then took them away: "Internet cafe, we’re going all night."

​​I was ostracized and stood by the river for a while, kicked the railing and ran off in the direction of the motorcycle.

Translator Notes: Phew that was a lot for a day, stayed up ‘till 1 AM lol, anyways hope this was somewhat of a satisfactory ending for yall, I know some of yall hated MC’s guts. Oh and by ending I don't mean the story just the chapter