Chapter 138: Your secret is safe with me.
Zara sat frozen, the words on the page blurring before her eyes. A low ringing filled her ears, drowning out everything else.
She could still picture Nora's glowing smile when she had announced her pregnancy. Back then, Zara had thought it was pure joy — she had never imagined that smile was a mask for so much pain.
A heavy ache pressed against her ribs. If Nora had chosen the treatment, she might still be alive. But she hadn't. She had chosen the baby instead, chosen to carry her secret alone.
Zara's throat burned. "How could you be so foolish, Nora? You could have had more children with Nathaniel… why throw everything away?"
She turned the page, with a new question in her heart — had Nathaniel known any of this?
Desperation urged her to keep reading.
'I couldn't bring myself to tell Nathaniel. I knew if he found out, he would never let me take such a risk—he'd insist I end the pregnancy. But I just couldn't.
The doctor has already warned me that after surgery and chemotherapy, the chances of conceiving again would be slim.
This is my first child, the fruit of our love. Even if it costs me everything, I'm ready to make that sacrifice. I will keep this baby.'
Zara finally understood, yet the clarity only made her pain sharper. "You never told him… You hid it from him again."
For a moment, anger flared—how could Nora keep something so cruelly important from Nathaniel?
"Do you even know how deeply he loved you? How much did your choice shatter him? He is still drowning in grief, thinking he hadn't paid enough attention to you back then. He blamed himself for all those years, still clinging to the past. Nora… what have you done?"
Her head dropped as tears spilled freely. Her shoulders shook, her whole body folding inward as if she could hide from the ache tearing her apart.
In the midst of her sorrow, she began to see the weight of her sister's struggle. Her heart softened, though it hurt even more. If she had been the one in Nora's place, perhaps she too would have made the same choice.
With a heavy heart, she read the final page.
'I held on to a faint hope—that after giving birth, I could finally begin treatment, and maybe things would get better. But it's too late.
The cancer spread through my brain. Surgery is no longer an option.
This is my fate.
I dreamed of a joyful life with my husband and child, yet I could hardly cradle my baby in my arms. What a cruel twist.
A life that began with a lie is ending in agony. Perhaps this is the punishment I deserve. I wronged Zara and deceived the man I loved most.
If Nathaniel ever discovers the truth—that I was never his savior—he will surely hate me. Even after my death, he will never forgive me.
So, I've decided to carry this secret with me to the grave. I want him to remember me not with resentment, but as the wife he cherished.
As for Zara… I'll make it up to her. I see how she cares for both Zane and Nathaniel while I lie here sick. Her eyes linger on him, her concern, her every gesture—it all reveals the depth of her feelings.
Maybe I misjudged her. Perhaps she wasn't speaking of Liam back then, but of Nathaniel. Maybe she has loved him all along.
Why else would she dive into the water without a thought just to save him?
The guilt weighs on me. My selfish choices snatched her love from him. But before I leave this world, I will make things right. I'll give back to Zara the love that was truly hers.'
"My love…" Zara sobbed. "This isn't what I wanted. I only wanted you to be happy with him. Why did you throw yourself away like that? You thought it would make me happy, but look at me now—I'm broken. He only married me because of your dying wish. Even after five years, he still doesn't love me. To him, I'm nothing more than Zane's mother."
The weight of her own emotions pressed down on her chest so hard it felt like she might shatter. She nodded slowly, whispering as though convincing herself. "I know he is trying. I can see it in the way he looks at me sometimes, the effort in the little things he does. But still… he can't love me the way a husband should."
The memory of the times he left her alone flashed across her mind. Her stomach twisted painfully, but she pressed the storm of emotions down, forcing herself to gather her thoughts.
"Don't worry," she whispered resolutely. "Nathaniel will never know the truth. To him, you'll always be his savior, the woman he loved most."
She folded the pages back together and placed them inside the chest. Hugging it tightly against her, she curled onto her side.
"Your secret is safe with me," she murmured. "I promise…I promise…"
Her voice grew softer each time, until at last exhaustion pulled her under, leaving her asleep with tears still damp on her lashes.
The first pale hint of dawn had begun to seep into the sky when Nathaniel came back to the bedroom. His steps were slow, heavy, his chest heavier. He hadn't slept all night and tried to distract himself with work.
When he reached the bed, he stopped, taking in the sight before him. Zara lay curled tightly on her side with the wooden box still held to her chest as if it were the most precious thing in her life.
Nathaniel's brow furrowed. For a long moment, he simply stood there, watching the way her fingers clutched it even in sleep.
A sigh slipped from his lips. He bent, prying her hands loose gently, and slid the box away to the table.
"What is in there that's so important to you?" he murmured under his breath.
He eased himself onto the bed, careful not to disturb her. The mattress dipped under his weight, and he slid closer, his arm slipping around her waist. The warmth of her body against him soothed him, chasing the heaviness away from his heart.
"I'm sorry," he whispered into her hair. "I keep forgetting…you are still recovering. I can wait."
He pressed a soft kiss to the crown of her head, lingering there for a moment. With her form cradled against him, Nathaniel let himself drift into sleep.