NOVEL WEB Chapter 55: Hotel Days #2
Ah, hello there!
Are you, [All alone on a late night?]
All your friends, [Abandoned you for the slime!?]
You are….
Sales gone down the [Drain, drain drain!]
[[READING ON GOD DAMN WEBNOVEL ON ALL PLACES!?]]
Well my friend, I have the [[Deal of a lifetime]] for you!
For all of the peeps on AO3, I introduced some [[concepts]] over on webnovel that I plan to make full fics!
[What does this have to do with me?] You ponder.
Well, I plan on doing something different, I plan on [writing] all of these fics out first and then releasing them.
Again, what does this have to do with–
[SHUT UP, I'M GETTING TO IT!]
Now over on my kofi, on [June 30th] you can read the first 3 chapters of My Villain Academia for only [2 dollars a month!] and when I write all of the chapters, all of my supporters will read [10 chapters ahead!]
Although, this fic will most likely take [a couple of months] to finish and actually complete before actually beginning to release on Kofi or publically. I recommend not expecting much since I also have a life and writers block at times when I'm not [gooning] or… [still gooning]
Thank you for [[listening]] to my broadcast! Step over to my Kofi to be a [[BIG SHOT]] Today!
(James POV)
"Okay, are we done watching the gay porn and jerking all of our dicks with each other?"
"...Angel, nobody was doing that." I replied, now sitting on the couch with the others. After my freakout about everyone except for the angel that is Charlie watching gay porn, we quickly calmed down and sat down on the couch… Without gay porn on the TV.
Amery and Nifty were on the far right, Nifty looking generally excited just to be here, she thinks everything's a game for real. I couldn't in a million years comprehend how she looks so happy just doing nothing. Amery was also there doing the exact opposite, just sitting and staring like she's not even here.
I was in the middle, sitting like the respectable sinner I am that's not doing anything wrong at all.
:)
Now Vaggie and Angel Dust were on my far left. Vaggie was staring dead ahead while munching on a bowl of cereal with a bored expression. Meanwhile, Angel Dust kicked his feet up like he owned the place, one leg on top of the couch and the other on the floor.
Between all of this, Charlie was standing up, talking with a smile. "Alright gang, today before we do Amery's trip, I wanted to do one last try to the regular ones, just really quickly before we go, okay?"
"Yeah sure. Yo Vaggie can I get some of your cereal?"
"Only a spoonful."
I stretched out my hands as Vaggie started to pick up her spoon and potentially put some in my hand…
I will never find out if that is what she was doing because before she could, I stuck my bare hand into the bowl, pulled out a large chunk of the cereal and started to eat it right in front of her face.
OM NOM NOM NOM
"..."
NOM NOM NOM
"..."
NOM NO–
"I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD JAMES, I'LL KILL YOU!" Vaggie screamed as she tackled me to the floor, chucking the bowl of cereal behind the couch.
–5 Minutes Later–
In only a few minutes we were both sitting back on the couch, trying to ignore the bruises we gave each other while Charlie looked down on us with a strained smile.
"We WILL do these trust exercises without you two at each other's throats, got it?"
"Yes ma'am." We both say in unison.
"W-w-why'd you even do that?" Angel Dust asks through fits of laughter that Vaggie clenches her fists at.
"It was mad funny, not gonna lie." I responded.
"It's not gonna be fuckin' funny when I stick my spear up your ass–" Vaggie tries to mumble but is quickly silenced by a glare from Charlie that sends the fear of god into her.
"OKAY. Today we will do 2 exercises before a trip. Rhyming likes and trust falls, got it?"
I don't know why but that last part of her sentence felt like it was directed at a handsome tall black man that has never lost a fight… Guess I'll never know.
"Okay, I'll go first." Charlie says, summoning a chair and sitting in front of us. "My name is Charlie. I hate barley. I like to party. I love listening to Playboy Carti." She rhymed, clapping three times in between each sentence.
She listens to Carti? "You listen to Playboi Carti?
"Yes, I think he's a very respectable artist that can use his lyricism to tell stories in his rapping."
"…" I say nothing but raise an eyebrow at her. "Put on a Carti song right now and tell me with a straight face you can hear any of what he's saying."
"Y-you can't be talking, you listen to French Montana!" Charlie yells at me with a small blush on her face.
"Yeah whatever. My turn. My name is James. I like booze-y, I don't like lil Uzi, I also like watching cartoons-y" Alright, not my best work but we'll get 'em' next time.
"Half of the words didn't even rhyme you damn retar–" Before Vaggie could continue with her statement, no doubt complimenting my dashing good looks, Angel Dust interrupted her.
"Wait, wait, wait. You don't listen to no Playboi Carti, no lil Uzi, no nothing?"
"I mean I listen to rap, but not those two."
"Oh my god, James, what the fuck do you listen to?" Angel Dust was now sitting up, both of his legs were on the ground and looking at me incredulously.
"I listen to rap, okay? Just not any of that mumble garbage. I listen to good rap like French Montana, P Diddy and Tom Mcdonald, those are the artists that bring peace to my soul, unlike YOU my friend who listens to that mumble rap rubbish!"
"James! You! Have! No! TASTE!!!!"
Angel Dust yelled at me, almost looking genuinely baffled and confused on how I had failed to meet his expectations on rap. I was about to start arguing with him, cuz it's obvious French Montana is better than Lil U–… Better than Lil U–...
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Okay, let me stop lying to myself.
Before I could concede my trolling to Angel Dust, Charlie already interrupted me with a clap of her hands. "Alright, it's your turn, Vaggie."
"Uhhhhhhhhh…. My name's Vaggie. It isn't Jackie. James is a fatty… I like krabby patties."
"Whatchu saying fuck me for, I didn't even say anything to you for the past 30 seconds? Also krabby patties don't exist"
"Oh, yeah? Well my cereal doesn't exist anymore cuz of your fatass!"
"Womp womp, Nigga. Too bad. You wanna fight about it or something?"
"OKAY!" Charlie yelled, clapping her hands with a nervous grin. "Angel Dust, how about you?"
"My name's Anthony. I like my family. I love adultery. I also committed blackleggery."
"...I know for damn sure you don't know what blackleggery means." Me and Vaggie said in agreement, talking at the same time.
"Oh yeah, smart guys, what does it mean?"
"Blackleggery would be the noun describing a blackleg, a blackleg is usually known as a gambler or a swindler, yet it can also be used for a British person who tries to go against unions."
"..Lucky guess." Angel snarked, clearly feeling inferior to my giga-brain.
"Not lucky, Angel. Pure and raw intellect coming straight from my head."
"Pfft, that's debatable." Vaggie said, most definitely wanting to run the ones.
"Vaggie, I will crush your skull in my hands on some Omni-man shit. Don't play with me, puta."
"I don't know who the hell Omni-man is, and it's perra you dumbass. Did you forget I speak spanish?"
"OH MY GOD JUST FUCK ALREADY!"
…
We both looked in the same directions, both of us looking at an exasperated Nifty. Vaggie had a golden blush, glaring at her while I was looking at her quizzically. "Nifty, did you forget that I'm your boyfriend?"
"James I'm not exactly with you having sex with other women, but I'm not against it either, especially when the sexual tension in here is so damn thick I could cut it in half with a sword." Nifty deadpanned.
I swear that she's different for some reason. Like just a minute ago she was sitting there just smiling and being happy like usual, but now it's like she switched personalities… Kinda hot to be honest.
Charlie sighed. "Let's just go do Amery's thing." She groaned out while looking hopefully at Amery who was silent throughout this entire ordeal.
"...If I may, could we go to a diner?" She said in her usual deadpan voice, yet I could hear a faint sense of hope in her voice, one that Charlie could undoubtedly hear as well as her smile returned to her face in full force.
"Alright gang, follow me, let's go to a diner!" She barked out with glee, running out of the hotel before any of us could follow. Everyone sat there for a moment, taking in her excitement before getting up and walking out to follow her.
Well, everyone except for Vaggie who was still looking down and blushing on the couch. I was about to try and talk to her, but Angel Dust raised a hand and motioned for me to zip it. "Hey, Vagina, you coming with or not?"
Vaggie clicked her teeth and got up, purposefully ignoring me and walking past without sparing a glance.
"Word of advice, when you get a girl interested in you, try not to provoke her all the time." Angel Dust whispered in my ear before walking out after Vaggie.
'Is Vaggie really interested in me, or am I acting like some dumb isekai protagonist? Whatever, I'll think about it on the way back.' And with my thoughts ending, I slowly closed the door and rejoined the group.
I've been stopping using my grammar checker in the past few chapters to see if I've grown. Tell me if my grammar is good or not and if I should start using the grammar checker again.
"Well you see Lucifer, it was quite the undertale." -James after Lucifer catches him in bed with Charlie
(Shameless plug: ko-fi.com/mrlegantrop)