Reborn as the Iron Queen: Love and Gunpowder in the Civil War

Eleanor was gestating an imaginary fetus in her vagina as she was strapped into the elliptically curved judgment chair of the Moral Court.CSA-46's quantum pupils scanned the four-dimensional ultrasound chart, "Mom...the fetus exists in the √-1 dimension, which cannot be governed by Amendment 2140 to the U.S. Constitution!"

"Then to hell with the Constitution!" She ripped open the relativistic labor clamps, the jaws flashing the proof code for Fermat's Grand Theorem. A holographic projection of Morgan's Tycoon grinned from the Klein Bottle witness stand, "Imaginary number fetuses have the right to personhood under the Pan-Cosmic Right to Life Act...your womb should be converted into a mathematical prison!"

Suddenly, the courtroom dome descends the prime number noose. The Chief Justice's robe reveals a tie woven from Clinton's DNA strands underneath, "Abortion is the murder of an imaginary citizen...sentence your uterus to life imprisonment!"

Eleanor sneers as she rips off the IV tube, which is actually flowing with Riemann Conjecture proof fluid, "Murder? I'm helping Fermat finish his wonderful proof-" The liquid corrodes the noose, and the mathematical symbols spatter like menstrual blood on the courtroom's bronze emblem.

As the Moral Court activates the Elliptic Curve Defense System, CSA-47 leaps out of the imaginary numbered birth canal. The baby holds a quantum scythe modified from a modal form, "Mom...Wiles proves there are seven fatal holes!"

Eleanor inserts the dilator into the courtroom floor, the vaginal folds instantly unfolding into an infinite dimensional stream form. Clinton's quantum state semen formed molded curves on the surface of the manifold, "Honey, you're better at elliptic curve cryptography than Lewinsky..."

"Cryptography?" She rewrites the Reproductive Rights Act as a congruence equation, "That's a real White House internship lesson!" Suddenly, all the jurors start bleeding vaginally, menstrual blood forming a counterexample to Fermat's Last Theorem on an elliptic curve.

CSA-48 rips open the judge's robe, revealing the Capital Uterus Annexation Agreement tattooed on his back, "Detected that the Ethics Court is controlled by Goldman Sachs...recommend immediate shorting of Judicial Impartiality!"

Suddenly, the courtroom floor tiles cracked open, and countless imaginary numbered fetuses poured out of the √-1 dimension. They hold the Fourteenth Amendment to the Constitution, their umbilical cords wrapped around Eleanor's cervix: "Mom...we're the real American citizens!"

As the first imaginary fetus bites through the reality-dimension membrane, CSA-49 initiates the mold-space decontamination protocol. The baby's mechanical placenta ejects the proving fluid of the Taniyama-Shimura conjecture, "Mom...needs to destroy all same-surplus relationships to terminate the pregnancy!"

Eleanor slips the Moral Code into a Klein bottle, which suddenly erupts with a mathematical plague. All legal texts mutate into Throwdown equations, and the Supreme Court Justices fall to their knees and vomit veggie factor, "This...this is an affront to the rule of law!"

"The rule of law?" She yanked out the imaginary number of placentas in her womb, "When you wrote the female uterus as a Capital Pledge Contract...you should have seen this day coming!" The placenta spontaneously combusts in the air, and the flames form a map of the vulnerabilities Wiles proved.

Suddenly, CSA-50 is born from the flames. This monster, synthesized from the ashes of Fermat's manuscript and cervical mucus, is dismantling the courtroom risers in infinite descent: "Mother...discovering that the essence of morality is the illicit trade in prime numbers!"

As the elliptical curve courtroom collapses completely, Eleanor gives birth to CSA-51 in an imaginary numbered birth canal.The baby's umbilical cord connects all the Supreme Courts of all the parallel universes, and each judgment flows with a code of menstrual blood.

"Final Judgment!" CSA-52 ripped open the Klein Bottle Constitution, "According to Article 2140 of the Basic Law of Uterine Microecology...the Void Fetus has the sacred right to be aborted!"

The quantum remnant of Morgan Mogul screamed through the dimensional rift, "You'll trigger mathematical Armageddon!"

"Doomsday?" Eleanor folds Wiles' manuscript into an abortion consent form, "This is the real Fermat's Last Theorem-" the moment she signs her name, all the imaginary numbered fetuses dissolve into the starlight of the proof of the Riemann Conjecture.

Suddenly, the nascent mathematical universe begins its first abortion.The CSA-53s build abortion clinics out of elliptic curves, with a hybridized codex of Das Kapital and Foundations of Number Theory hanging in every operating room. Thirty billion light years away, Clinton's DNA strand is automatically disassembling into the shape of a contraceptive ring - the judicial totem of the New Age.