NOVEL WEB Uncle Yun’s War Stories (Now With 50% More Exaggeration)
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A few days after Li Wei's discussion with Uncle Zhao, the Li family gathered to celebrate the return of Li Yun, Li Wei's uncle, from the military. The courtyard was lively, filled with conversation, laughter, and children playing. The family hadn't had a gathering like this in a while, and the mood was light and festive.
Li Wei, as usual, kept to himself, observing the event quietly. His mind was focused on the path ahead, but today, he would enjoy the family gathering, as it was rare for everyone to come together.
Li Yun entered the courtyard to cheers and greetings from his family. His strong military presence made him stand out. His 10-year-old son, Li Feng, stood proudly by his side, watching the admiration his father received. Li Wei remained in the background, listening and observing.
"Uncle Yun!" shouted Li Bo's twin sons, who ran up to their uncle, eager to hear stories of his time in the military. Li Yun laughed heartily, settling into his storytelling pose—legs wide, arms ready to reenact some absurdly exaggerated gestures. The children gathered around him with wide-eyed anticipation, clearly expecting something just shy of epic.
"Well," Li Yun began with a dramatic pause, "there I was, deep in enemy territory, surrounded by bandits—no, not just bandits—giant, muscle-bound bandits with sharp teeth and axes the size of trees!"
Li Wei glanced sideways. Giant, muscle-bound bandits? His uncle sure had a knack for making the local riff-raff sound like mythical creatures.
Li Yun continued, now waving his arms like he was fighting off an invisible horde. "I only had a stick—a STICK, mind you! But with one swift move—WHOOSH!—I took down the biggest one, easily three times my size. The others scattered like chickens."
One of the twins raised a hand. "But Uncle Yun, last time you said they were wolves…"
"Ah, yes, wolves! Did I forget to mention that they rode the wolves into battle?" Li Yun quickly corrected himself, barely missing a beat. The twins gasped in amazement, completely sold on the idea of bandits charging on wolf-back like something out of a fantasy novel.
Li Wei quietly shook his head. His uncle's storytelling skills were as impressive as ever. If these stories got any wilder, the next one would probably involve flying dragons.
Nearby, Li Bo's married daughter, who had wed Captain Zhang, sat beside her husband. Captain Zhang worked as the captain of the guards in Longjiang, and he and Li Wei were colleagues. Today, however, the formalities of their positions were set aside for the family gathering, and Captain Zhang was watching the tale of "The Giant Bandits and Their Wolf Brigade" unfold with amused skepticism.
The next day, Li Wei made his way to his maternal grandfather's home, feeling a mix of excitement and apprehension. Having broken through to the 2nd rate, he knew he needed to expand his training, and that meant approaching the old man for the Chen family techniques. His grandfather was notoriously strict—like a drill sergeant, but with more tea and fewer push-ups.
Upon arriving, he found his grandfather sitting in the garden, delicately sipping tea like it was the elixir of life. The old man had a knack for looking both wise and slightly ridiculous at the same time, especially with his eyebrows twitching in judgment over the slightest disturbance.
Hearing the news of Li Wei's breakthrough, the old man's face lit up with joy. "You've broken through to 2nd rate? That's incredible, Wei!" he exclaimed, rising to his feet like a spring-loaded toy. "You've worked hard, and it has paid off. Congratulations!"
Li Wei nodded respectfully, trying to look humble while internally doing a victory dance. "Thank you, Grandfather."
His grandfather's eyes sparkled with pride, as if he had just seen the world's cutest puppy. "It's rare for someone so young to reach this level. You've made our family proud."
Feeling the warm glow of praise, Li Wei quickly shifted gears. "I've come to ask for something. Now that I've reached 2nd rate, I need to expand my training. The Li family's techniques are good, but I need more. The Chen family's martial arts, focused on agility, would be perfect for me."
The joyful gleam in his grandfather's eyes dimmed like a lightbulb on the fritz. "You know the Chen family's martial arts aren't meant to be shared lightly. This is a serious request."
"I understand," Li Wei said, attempting to look as serious as a monk meditating on a mountain top. "But to keep growing stronger, I need techniques that complement what I've already learned. Without this, I'll be stuck like a chicken trying to climb a tree."
His grandfather regarded him carefully, the weight of tradition resting heavily on his shoulders. "I need time to think about this. It's not a decision to be made lightly. Come back tomorrow, and we'll talk."
Li Wei bowed his head. "Thank you, Grandfather."
The following day...
Li Wei returned to his grandfather's home, and the old man was waiting for him in the same spot in the garden. His serious expression suggested he had just emerged from deep contemplation—or perhaps he was just contemplating whether he should have a second cup of tea.
"I've thought long and hard about your request," his grandfather began, setting his teacup down with a definitive clink. "And while it's against our tradition, I can see that you're serious about this. You've already proven yourself by reaching 2nd rate at such a young age. I'm willing to pass on the Chen family martial arts to you, but under two conditions."
Li Wei stood silently, bracing himself for what was to come.
"First," his grandfather said, "you must marry one of the Chen family's descendants. Second, one of your descendants must bear the Chen surname, and only that descendant can inherit the martial arts."
Li Wei took a moment to consider. "So you're saying I need to find a girl, propose, and then hope she's okay with a future kid named Chen Li Wei? I can already hear the teasing: 'Hey, Chen Li Wei Jr., how's the weather up there?'"
His grandfather looked at him, deadpan. "Focus, Wei."
"Right, right," Li Wei said, realizing he needed to get serious. "I agree."
His grandfather smiled, though a hint of sadness danced in his eyes, likely contemplating the challenges of arranging a wedding. "Very well. I will begin teaching you the techniques."
Over the next few days, Li Wei began learning the Chen family's martial arts. The techniques centered on agility, helping him become faster and more fluid in battle. Training was challenging, often resembling a circus act more than martial arts, as Li Wei struggled to balance agility with his own strengths.
His training routine became more structured, now incorporating the Chen family techniques along with his existing ones.
Li Family Body Forging Technique: [5.5/5.5]
Chen Family Body Forging Technique: [0/5]
Iron Sand Palm: [5/5]
100 Poison Immunity: [30/100]
Basic Swordsmanship: [100%]
Li Wei also refined his 11th pose of the Tiger Boxing Manual, "Tiger Escapes from the Trap," which now earned him an extra 0.5 stars. He thought about renaming it to something less tiger-centric. How about "Li Wei's Unbelievably Clever Evasion Technique?" he pondered, giggling at the thought.
As he practiced, Li Wei realized he was going to remove the limitation of only using tigers for inspiration. "From now on, I'll draw inspiration from all sorts of animals! Watch out, here comes the 'Li Wei Sloth Shuffle' and the 'Li Wei Giraffe Gallop!'"
With each new day of training, Li Wei found himself embracing not just the martial arts but the sheer ridiculousness of it all. Balancing martial discipline with a dash of humor was proving to be the secret to his success, and who knew—maybe it would help him in the future when he had to deal with the complexities of family and, of course, the inevitable chicken wedding.