Questism and Lookism: Am I Suhyeon Kim?

I couldn't stay still.

After the system window disappeared and his mother's footsteps faded down the hallway, I sat on the edge of the bed, hands on my knees, staring at the floor as if I could find some answer there.

I'm inside the world of PTJ. A place where laws are weak, fists rule, and being weak is a death sentence. A world where respect isn't asked for... it's earned with blows... what a mess.

And as expected, I'm in the body of Suhyeon Kim, yes, an idiot nerd.

The loser. The target of everyone, especially Choi Changdong, that guy who looks like a pig.

Suhyeon wasn't so bad, even though he was a jerk at first, but in the end he changed his destiny, he made it, he got ahead and got a girlfriend.

And me... I'm right at that same point, the starting point, I feel like I'm in a game...

I leaned forward more seriously, taking a deep breath. I had an advantage. I know what's coming.

Maybe not in detail, but I remember who the enemies are, who the traitors are, and what cards there are.

Above all, I know what the key moments are; after all, being a PTJ fan helped.

But hey... I know this system can turn a loser into a monster, one like Johan Seong. (Don't hate me :'v)

As for my weaknesses, let's see... I don't have physical strength since I'm skinny after all, and another one is that I don't have fighting reflexes.

And if I make a mistake, no one is going to correct the script for me. (Careful!)

This world isn't just a story. It's a very, very hostile environment, and I'm inside it.

I brought my hands to my face. I still couldn't believe it, I was going to see my favorite character, the incomparable Johan Seong. But then I remembered something about the system. An important detail, and that was the cards.

I took another breath, deeper this time.

"Reveal the gold card," I said, somewhat excited.

[System]

Revealing the gold card.

The room was briefly tinged with gold. A soft, almost solemn flash.

A floating card appeared, unlike any of the previous ones: polished edges, animated flashes, and a low digital melody, like a high-level advertisement.

[Disposable card]

Grow 3 centimeters in height.

*This will disappear after use!

[System]

Are you going to use this?

"Wow... Of course I am!" I replied cheerfully.

[System]

Grow 3 centimeters.

It is being used.

I felt a strange tug in my chest, as if the air had been compressed for a second. The card dissolved into golden particles before I could touch it, and then... I noticed it.

I stood up straight without realizing it, and my head seemed to get a little closer to the top frame of the mirror.

"Did I grow? Did I really grow?" I whispered, somewhat confused.

I opened and closed my fists. My joints sounded firmer, my shoulders were broader. Suhyeon's body was still that of a skinny student, but now it had a foundation. As if someone had upgraded his version 1.0 to 1.1. Like in a game.

A small but significant improvement. (To nothing)

"Okay. This is no longer just psychological, life," I said, looking at myself in the mirror.

The system, as fantastical as it was, had real weight. It could change me, physically and mentally.

And that... meant that if I kept completing missions, I could also gain strength—real strength.

I closed my eyes for a moment.

I was a fan not long ago, but now! I'm no longer a spectator. I'm not watching from the outside, through the screen of my mega-advanced iPhone.

I'm here. I literally feel everything. (We get it.)

And if this body is going to be mine... then I'm going to strengthen it. Step by step, but then something crossed my mind.

"That's right, I have to go to school, I'm running late, After all, Suhyeon is a student, and I was an employee earning minimum wage..."

Just as I turned to grab my uniform from the back of the chair, a familiar voice snapped me out of my trance.

"Suhyeon, what time are you planning on going to school? You're going to be late!"

It was my mother, or rather Suhyeon's mother.

There was no anger in her tone... just weariness at her useless son. The kind of weariness that sounds like routine, like many days that are all the same, like resignation. The same voice as a moment ago, but now without the open wounds caused by the old Suhyeon. As if my apology had alleviated something, even if only a little.

"I'm coming," I replied, raising my voice so she could hear me from the kitchen.

I grabbed my uniform. I put it on quickly, even though my hands were barely shaking. It wasn't from fear. It was something else. A kind of electricity under the skin, not like when you have sex... it was when you stepped out of your comfort zone.

I combed my hair quickly, at lightning speed, without obsessing over it... although that was difficult. It wasn't time to get ready to impress. I just needed to get out. Face the day, my first time.

As I was going down the stairs, the smell of hot soup hit me immediately. The kitchen was small and cozy. There was a lot of rice in the pot, a pan with some kimchi in the corner, and two plates on the table. Only one had food on it.

And that was mine, I think.

"You have to eat something," Mom said without turning around, as she washed a dirty cup.

"Thank you, Mom... I really appreciate this, and I'm truly sorry about that time, it wasn't me..." I muttered, a little quieter than I planned, but she heard me anyway.

I sat down and took a big sip of the soup. It wasn't hot, but it wasn't cold either, just lukewarm. She had probably served it a while ago, thinking I would come down earlier. The flavor was strong, homemade. Nothing special, but... comforting, as if my mother from my previous life had prepared it... damn it, I don't want to remember...

For a minute, there was only silence.

She kept washing. I ate slowly, savoring every bite.

And even though the words burned in my throat, I didn't know what else to say to her. I didn't want to break the momentary peace I had. Not so soon, not when I was just getting used to it.

"Your sister already left, hurry up," she said at last, in a neutral voice. "She said you wouldn't come down even when she yelled, and she left very upset, my God."

"I understand her."

She turned slightly, just enough to glance at me.

"You're... strange today. Quieter. Are you sure you're okay?"

I swallowed and nodded slowly.

"I'm fine, Mom. Really. I'm like Suhyeon, right?"

She held my gaze for a second that seemed much longer.

And finally, she nodded too. Although she looked doubtful.

"Eat. Don't be late."

I took another sip of soup and, when I finished, I carefully put down my cutlery. I put on my shoes in the hallway, checked that my cell phone was in my pocket, and, before opening the door, I took one last look at the house.

It was a simple place. Old furniture, worn curtains, a crooked family photo on the wall. And for the first time since I woke up, I felt that... maybe there was something to protect here. Something that was really worth it.

I opened the door, feeling Suhyeon's memories wash over me. (That sounded weird.)

The morning air hit my face. It wasn't particularly cold, but it felt different. As if the world outside was challenging me with Johan Seong to take that step toward my love, toward that first and second time.

The neighborhood streets were half empty, but not silent. Cars passed in the distance, students with backpacks walked in pairs on the sidewalks.

I walked alone, very alone.

The soles of my shoes hit the concrete with a rhythm that tried to keep me calm, but my mind was elsewhere.

Each step brought me closer to the building I already knew... though not from personal experience. I had seen it hundreds of times on the screen of the latest iPhone.

And yet, when I saw it at the end of the avenue, I felt something harden inside me that I didn't want to say.

It had that common, boring facade: gray walls, a metal fence, and a main gate through which dozens of Korean students entered.

They looked like the ones from K-dramas.

But I knew that this was no ordinary place. That school was a battlefield.

There were invisible hierarchies, undeclared territories, perhaps even declared ones. Gangs of students ruled with violence, and teachers preferred to look the other way in order to survive on their minimum wage.

It was a place where losing a fight meant more than just a black eye. It meant disappearing, becoming a nobody... like this skinny guy... I mean, me.

I put my hands in my pockets to hide my tension. I still didn't know how to walk. Relaxed? Confident? Like a new guy or like someone who knows what's going to happen?

I don't care. I don't have to pretend to be someone else. Screw them all. I just have to not be the person I was before.

Then I walked through the gate.

Now inside the high school.

I turned into the second hallway. The voices grew louder. It seemed like everyone was talking at once, but without saying anything important. A couple of guys bumped shoulders, exchanging dirty jokes. An empty bottle rolled across the floor.

Chaos here was no exception. It was the norm, an unwritten rule.

[System]

A tutorial quest is being created.

"No way... Are you kidding me?" I whispered, feeling my face freeze... this time. "The next mission is... with her?"

[System]

The reward for completing this quest is 1 gold card and 1 silver card.

And just then, I saw her.

Amidst the hustle and bustle of the hallway, walking as if the world couldn't touch her. A girl appeared with an aura that made everyone step aside without her asking. Black hair, waist-length, smooth as a veil. Fair skin, almost porcelain, and brown eyes that didn't seek anyone out... but still captivated everyone with her figure.

She wore a tight shirt that perfectly outlined her body and an equally tight black skirt that ended just above the knee. Elegant, confident, and unattainable.

It's Baek Chaerin.

That was all it took. I recognized her instantly.

And now the system was telling me I had to approach her. Not only that. I saw her appear. Like a bad joke.

[System]

Kiss Baek Chaerin [0/1]

Reward: 1 gold card and 1 silver card.

"Is this a hidden camera, you shitty system...?" I muttered, my eyes fixed on the floating text. Even though I already knew this was going to happen, I wanted to take it out on the system.

It was the second mission. And they already wanted me dead.

But fate, or rather the system, seemed to have no intention of waiting. Because before I could even think of a strategy, chaos did it for me.

A misplaced backpack, then an accidental stumble, a chain reaction of pushing... and by the time I reacted, it was too late.

"Shit, you bastard...!"

Smack!

My shoulder collided directly with Baek Chaerin's.

The scene froze.

For a second, the entire hallway seemed to fall silent. As if the students knew—by animal instinct—that someone had just committed sacrilege. A death sentence.

Chaerin turned slowly, as if it wasn't even worth doing quickly. She tucked her hair behind her ear with an almost ceremonial slowness and looked at me as if I had just stepped in excrement. (:'v)

"Eh...?" Her voice was icy. "Do you want to die?"

I looked at her. But not like the original Suhyeon would have: hunched over, stuttering, apologizing before thinking.

No. No. No. Damn it.

I looked at her with my eyes wide open. Expectant. As if I were watching a cinematic that was finally happening live.

I almost laughed. Almost. Trying to control my impulses.

Chaerin narrowed her eyes, offended that I showed no sign of fear.

"What, are you deaf?" she snapped. "I asked you if you wanted to die, you little bastard."

I didn't answer right away. I just raised an eyebrow, still analyzing every second as if it were a programmed scene.

Then, as if to seal the humiliation, she raised her hand.

A slap. It was coming. I knew it. Everyone knew it. Even you knew it.

"Die!" she spat contemptuously.

But just as her hand was in the air, as all eyes in the hallway were fixed on us, I spoke, switching into badass mode.

"Throw me," I said calmly. "Or are you afraid, little girl?"

That sentence stopped her arm midway.

Not only was she stunned, but even those who were watching held their breath.

Who was this Suhyeon, and what the hell had he been smoking? Good weed?

Her gaze fixed on me, trying to read my expression. There was no mockery. There was no submission. Just... calm.

A calm that baffled everyone.

"What did you say?" she asked, lowering her voice, as if she couldn't believe someone like me could talk to her like that.

She took a step closer. So close I could smell her perfume. Sweet, expensive. Unnecessarily intimidating.

I kept my gaze like a badass.

And then the unthinkable happened.

A boy running with a tray from the school kiosk—filled with banana milk, rolls, and suspiciously liquid kimchi—didn't stop in time.

Fate, apparently, had its own sense of humor.

"Watch out!" someone shouted.

Too late.

PRAAASH!

The boy crashed into Chaerin's back.

The milk exploded like a grenade. The bread flew through the air. The kimchi... landed directly on her shoulder, sliding down her tight white blouse.

A deathly silence fell over the hallway...

It took Chaerin two seconds to process what had happened. Then her face turned red... nuclear red. Tomato red.

"WHO WAS THE IDIOT?!" she shouted, turning around in a rage.

The boy at the kiosk was trembling, bowing at a 90-degree angle while stammering apologies that no one understood.

And me... well, I couldn't help it.

I let out a laugh. Soft at first. Then louder and louder.

Chaerin turned to me, still soaked, with a look that could burn steel.

"What are you laughing at, pig?!"

"At fucking fate. Don't you think it's really beautiful?" I replied, still smiling. "Today... it really gave you a very enriching slap in the face."

Those watching let out a couple of nervous laughs, and that's when I knew I had crossed a line.

A line that the old Suhyeon would never have dared to cross.

And yet... I didn't care.

Because for the first time in a long time, I didn't feel like I was at the bottom of the food chain.

And that... that was addictive.

The echo of laughter still lingered in the air when I felt it shift slightly until a different kind of silence resonated.

"You think you're funny?" said a voice behind me, mocking and threatening.

I didn't have time to turn around.

SMACK!

A brutal slap hit me like lightning, straight on the cheek. My head spun on its own from the force, and my body crashed into the hallway wall with a thud. I couldn't breathe.

The pain was instantaneous. Burning like fire.

I brought my hand to my face, feeling the skin throbbing. Hot and humiliated.

"Hey, asshole! Who gave you permission to make fun of Chaerin?" spat the same voice.

When I managed to look up, I saw him.

It was Choi Changdong.

A mastodon with the face of a spoiled pig, puffed cheeks, and a sadistic smile. His uniform pants were so tight they looked like they were about to give way. At his side, two smaller followers, with the faces of stray dogs and eyes without a thought of their own, escorted him as if he were a cheap emperor.

"This is Suhyeon Kim, right?" said one of them. "The school's punching bag. Since when did you get a tongue, you damn loser?"

I didn't answer, not because I was afraid—although it did hurt, quite a lot—but because I was gauging the moment. Analyzing and breathing... concentrating my ki.

Changdong took another step and grabbed me by the collar of my uniform, lifting me a few inches off the ground.

"You think you're different today? You think you're funny for looking at Chaerin?" he snorted, his breath smelling of spicy noodles.

"I don't think anything, bitch," I muttered with some difficulty, looking him in the eye.

He frowned.

"Oh, no? Son of a bitch. Then look down like before. Like the worm you are."

I didn't.

My pride was already bruised. But if I looked down, it would be the same as signing a sentence of eternal humiliation.

I didn't come into this world to live with my head down.

And before I could say anything else...

[System]

New side mission available.

Objective: Defeat Choi Changdong [0/1]

Reward: 1 silver card and 1 bronze card.

And just then, Chaerin's voice rang out again. Cold, but something else... Restless? Anxious?

"Changdong. That's enough," she said, taking two steps forward. "You don't have to hit him. It was just a collision. I can handle it."

He turned his head, annoyed.

"You again? Now you care about this insect?"

"I don't care," she replied dryly. "I'm just saying you've made your point. It's not worth it."

Changdong snorted, turning to his friends with a crooked smile.

"Did you hear that? She says I'm not worth it, ha ha ha," he mocked, as if the whole situation were a private comedy.

Chaerin pressed her lips together. But she said nothing more; she couldn't do anything else.

He could rule the hallway with his presence... but he didn't rule Changdong. Not this hot-blooded animal who responded only to brute force.

He looked at me again.

"All right, Suhyeon. Do you have anything to say before I disfigure your face?"

I took a deep breath. I felt a strange tingling sensation... a mixture of fear and excitement.

"Yes," I murmured, my voice still hoarse. "If you're going to hit me... make sure I don't get up... You fucking pig!"

His eyes widened slightly.

"Huh?"

And before he could react, I raised my knee.

THUD!

Right in his crotch.

Not with all my strength. But enough to make him let out an animalistic growl and let me go.

I staggered back, panting. The hallway exploded with murmurs.

"He hit him?! Suhyeon hit Changdong?!"

"Are you crazy? You're going to kill him!"

"Is this a joke from the drama club?"

Changdong fell to his knees, his hands between his legs. His followers stared at him open-mouthed.

I took advantage of those seconds. Not to run. Not to beg like a cheap nerd.

But to step forward. Into the spotlight.

"I'm not the Suhyeon of yesterday," I said, smiling as I raised both arms.

And then... I committed the final act of madness.

I turned to Chaerin with a crooked smile, my cheek still red and swollen.

"So what do you say, princess? Does that count as an attempted kiss... or is there still more to come?"

She looked at me as if I had just broken the logic of the universe.

She didn't say anything.

But she didn't look away.

And on her face... for the first time... there was no contempt.

There was curiosity.

And just when I thought the system was going to reward me with a shower of cards...

"RAAAAAAH!"

Changdong rose like a bull.

"YOU'RE GOING TO DIE, KIM!"

He threw a punch at me like a wrecking ball.

I didn't have time to dodge it.

CRACK!! PHAAD!!

The pain was like an explosion in my nose.

I fell to the ground with blood and screams. The chaos was growing.

And yet...

Breathing through my mouth, I couldn't help it.

I laughed like I'd never laughed before, because they hadn't killed me. And this time... everyone had seen it. The punching bag had gotten up.

My body hurt like hell. My nose was broken, my vision was blurry, and I probably had a couple of loose teeth.

But I was still awake.

And when the murmurs began to grow again, when I felt all those eyes on me, I understood.

They may have knocked me down... But I smiled again, spat blood to the side, and, between gasps, said quietly.

"First lesson in this world... there is no respect without war.

And I've already started mine."